Love's Image (2 page)

“Yeah, but you never ate any of it,” Janie reminded her. “Always trying to keep those pounds off your skinny hips.”

“My hips are not skinny,” Shannon argued.

“Oh, come on. They are, too.”

“The camera adds—”

“I know, I know,” Janie interrupted. “The camera adds ten pounds. But who cares?”

“I do,” Shannon said. “Well, at least I did until now.”

Janie reached over and covered Shannon’s hand in hers. “Maybe now you can do something you really want to do, Shannon. You never really liked modeling.”

“I liked it.”

Janie didn’t reply to that comment, but a pensive look washed over her face as she stood. The soup had started bubbling on the stove, so she went to scoop some for both of them.

As the two of them ate the chicken noodle soup in silence, Shannon felt the comfort of sitting here with her die-hard best friend, knowing that her life was about to go in a completely different direction. She wished she could predict where it was headed, but she knew she couldn’t. Nothing had prepared her for this.

“I’ve got a friend who just started vet assistant training,” Janie blurted, interrupting Shannon’s thoughts.

“What?”

“Vet assistant training,” Janie repeated. “You know. Learning how to work in a veterinary office.”

“Interesting.”

“You might think about it, Shannon. Seriously. You love animals.” She paused. “Or you can do something else.”

“I don’t have to do anything for a while. I have plenty of money.”

“No surprise,” Janie said. “But somehow I can’t see you sitting back, doing nothing.”

“I can read books.”

“Then what?”

“Who knows? Maybe Armand will send for me.”

Janie licked the soup off her lips and put down her spoon. She looked down at the table before she glanced up and locked gazes with Shannon.

“Look, sweetie, I know how hard this is for you to face, but you can’t wait around for some guy to come crawling back when it’s not even likely in the first place.”

Shannon didn’t feel like arguing. She knew how Janie felt about the whole modeling industry. At first she’d been happy for her, but after the first year, she’d told Shannon she didn’t like the changes she’d seen in her.

“I haven’t changed,” Shannon had told her.

“You have but you just don’t see it,” Janie had said sadly. The whole conversation popped into Shannon’s mind, and she remembered it word for word, as she often did when things became too quiet.

Shannon put down her soup spoon and leaned back. “Do you still think I’ve changed?” she asked.

Janie inhaled deeply as if she needed time to gather her thoughts. “Do you want the truth?”

Shannon nodded.

“You’ve changed in so many ways, I’m not sure where to start.”

“Do you not like me anymore?”

Even if the truth hurt, Shannon needed to hear it. This was the time when she had to know what people were thinking.

“I like you, Shannon. But you used to be so much fun. You loved hiking, talking on the phone for hours on end, and acting silly with the girls. Now all you do is worry about what people think.”

Shannon thought for a moment. “That’s important in my business.”

“But in the big scheme of things, how important is it, really?” Janie had a point.

“I guess not very.”

“My sentiments exactly.”

“So what now?”

“You have to decide. Maybe you can kick back for a few weeks and read. Armand might even surprise us and call for you; I don’t know. But is that what you really want, Shannon?”

“I thought it was.”

“Do you want the constant threat of losing Armand just because he can’t deal with the slightest imperfection? Think about it some more,” Janie said as she pushed her chair back and stood. “In the meantime, I have to get back to the nursing home. Mrs. Willis needs therapy this afternoon.”

They said their good-byes before Janie left. Shannon sank back on the sofa and picked up the remote control, flipping through the channels. Nothing good was on, so she turned it off. Fear clutched her chest.

What if Janie was right, and Armand didn’t call?

After a week went by and she still hadn’t heard from Armand, Shannon knew. How could she have been fooled so easily by someone she thought loved her for her heart? He’d told her all that, hadn’t he? Why would a little scar change that?

Shannon could understand why even the slightest scar would affect her modeling career. After all, she was promoting the impossible—perfect beauty, something almost every woman aspired to. But true love was blind—at least that’s what she’d always thought.

“Want me to come over?” Janie asked during one of her daily phone calls. “You don’t need to be alone right now.”

“No, I’m fine,” Shannon tried to assure her friend. “Really, I am.”

“You’re still in denial. What are you doing now?”

“Watching television.” Which was what she’d been doing all day every day since she’d been home from the hospital.

“That’s not good, Shannon. You hate TV.”

Janie remembered. All her life, Shannon had been active. She played sports, hung out with friends, and stayed busy. She never had time or the inclination to sit around and watch TV. Until now.

“Look, Shannon, I’ll be there in a few minutes. We’ll figure something out.”

“Okay.”

She couldn’t keep putting Janie off just because she made her face reality. Shannon’s voice had suddenly become squeaky and meek. For the first time in her life, Shannon had no idea what tomorrow would bring, and she let fear take over.

Janie was at her door less than half an hour later.

“I don’t like this a single bit.”

“Well, hello to you, too,” Shannon said with a smirk. “You’ve gotta get outta here. This place will close in on you if you don’t.”

“I’m fine.”

“Stop saying that. No, you’re not.” Janie took her by the arm and gently shoved her toward the front door. “Where’s your purse? I’m taking you out.”

Instinctively, Shannon ran her fingertips along her cheek. Her insides lurched at the thought of people seeing her like this.

“I can’t go out.”

“Oh, get over it, Shannon. The sooner you face people the better. Staying inside, cooped up, hiding, won’t solve any problems.”

Shannon numbly let Janie guide her toward her car. Fear clutched her once again as she thought of riding in a car. “I can’t.”

“You can and you will.” Janie held the door and nodded for Shannon to get in.

They were both buckled in the front seat of Janie’s car when Shannon spoke again. “This is so silly. I’m really not in the mood.”

“At the rate you’re going, you’ll never be in the mood.”

Shannon looked out the window before turning back to face Janie, who seemed determined not to listen. “Where are we going?”

“Church.” Janie put the car in reverse and carefully backed out of the parking space. “I’ll be super careful. I know how hard it is to get back in a car after an accident.”

Shannon remembered when Janie had hit a car head-on seven years ago. It took three strong friends to get her to ride in a car after that.

“Church?” she asked. “It’s Monday. What church is open on Monday?”

“It’s my singles’ group.”

Shannon tilted her head back and chuckled. “You go to a singles’ club at a church? Now I’ve heard everything.”

“I didn’t say singles’
club
. That’s for desperate people. This is my church singles’ group.”

“What’s the difference?”

They were stopped at a red light, which gave Janie a chance to turn and face Shannon while she explained. “We discuss issues in the Bible that relate to things single people have to face today.”

“Hmm.”

“Yeah, hmm.” Janie grinned. “This is what normal, Christ-loving people do in Atlanta. I know it sounds strange after your jet-set modeling career, but it’s really nice. I think once you get into it, you might actually enjoy it.”

“How long have you been doing this singles’ thing at your church?” Shannon asked. This was the first she’d heard of it, although she did remember something Janie had said a couple years ago about how her life had turned completely around now that she’d let the Lord into her life. Not being one who needed that sort of thing, Shannon had glossed over it and changed the subject as quickly as she could. Now that she was being held captive, she was curious about what she was about to face.

“The singles’ group started up about a year ago, and I’m one of the founding members.”

Shannon shook her head. “Did you tell them about some of your shenanigans back in high school?”

“They know I’m not perfect.”

Janie turned into the parking lot of a small building that looked like a converted house. Shannon looked from left to right then back at Janie.

“Where’s the church?”

“We’re there.”

Pointing to the building, Shannon said, “This is a church? Sure doesn’t look like one.”

“A lot of things aren’t what they look like. You should know that.” She put the car in park, turned off the ignition, and opened her car door. “Let’s go. Everyone will be here soon, and we start in a few minutes.”

Shannon followed her friend into the building, trailing close behind. She’d always been the one eager for new experiences, but this was different. This was scary. This was church. A foreign place to Shannon.

“Hey, Janie,” said a deep, masculine voice from a dark corner.

“Paul, I’m glad you’re here. I have someone I want you to meet.”

Suddenly, the man materialized from out of nowhere. In the semidarkness, Shannon saw him reach over and flip a switch on the wall. Light filled the space and illuminated chairs, positioned in a full circle around the room.

“Paul, this is my friend Shannon,” Janie said softly.

When Shannon looked him in the eye, she saw his gaze dart to her scar. She started to lift her hand to her cheek, but he reached for her arm. “Don’t,” he said. “Janie told us what happened.”

Shannon pulled away and looked down, letting her long, straight blond hair fall in front of her face. She’d never hidden behind her hair before, but then she’d never been scarred before either.

Instead of making a big deal of her reaction, Paul turned his attention to Janie. “Did you talk to Jason or Dana?”

“They’ll be here, but Dana said she might be late.”

“That’s okay. I just finished making the coffee. It’s her turn to bring cookies.”

Janie turned to Shannon and explained how they took turns bringing treats for the group. Shannon only half listened. Her shame was blocking her senses.

Within a couple minutes, people began to arrive, some alone and others in pairs. Fifteen minutes later, the room was filled with twenty- and thirtysomething people, all of them laughing and greeting each other as if they’d known everyone all their lives. Shannon felt ill at ease. She was perfectly comfortable at black-tie affairs where she was able to show off the latest elaborate gown some designer had created for the occasion. But this was real. She wasn’t in costume. These people could see her for who she really was.

“Hey,” Janie said as she walked up behind Shannon. “Lighten up. I’ve never seen you so shy before. You were always the life of every party.”

“That was before—” She cut herself off as she reached up to touch her face again.

Janie leveled her with a stern look. “Look, Shannon, no one here cares about your scar, other than the pain you must be feeling. They don’t see the scar when they look at you.”

“Hey, you’re that model in the corn chip ads, aren’t you?”