Just That Easy (27 page)

She laughed. “Thank you.”

“Welcome.”

“Still hate running.”

They made decent time, seeming to be somewhere in the middle
of the pack. Not what he was used to but at least not in the back of the line,
and he didn’t seem to mind. Finally the end of the trail came into view, and
relief flooded her that there was only one more leg, then a challenge, and she
could sit down and just freaking die of exhaustion.

She was even relieved to get back on the bike. The trail
felt familiar now so they were faster, and made up some ground passing a couple
of teams in the process. About the time her body wanted to give out the
endorphins kicked in harder, and she figured out why he loved this shit. She
was doing it. Kicking ass, taking names and pushing through the pain to get to
the end of this thing. It had been a total rush. She decided she was going to
have to do this again. The satisfaction of even crossing the finish line is
something she’d have never done without him, and she was mildly hopeful that if
she did race again, it might be with him. Her mood turned decidedly giddy.

Until she felt a hard jolt, the terrifying feel of her body
being thrown out of control. Going over the handlebars came in slow motion just
like the movies and was the last thing she saw before she hit the ground hard,
flat on her back, and everything went black.

She woke to see Grant’s face over hers, peering down at her,
looking seriously worried. He was holding her head in his hands, the race medic
doing something ungodly painful to her left calf.

“Ow! Fuck, what the hell are you doing?”

“Shhh.” Grand tried to calm her. “Hold still, don’t move
your neck. You have something, uh, he’s taking care of it.”

“Please tell me the asshole who hit me is worse off than I
am.” She felt a pang of guilt as soon as she said it, hoping she wasn’t right.

“He’s fine. Ran off with his tail between his legs before I
had a chance to get done worrying about you and beat the living shit out of
him. The idiot misjudged the hard let down on the trail, crashed right into
you.”

She laughed, painfully. His protectiveness did feel
comforting. “What the hell is he doing?”

A sudden stab of pain brought tears to her eyes. She
flinched and tried to sit up.

“Whoa, hey, stay down! We don’t know if you have any neck or
back injuries yet, you hit the ground hard.” The medic gave her what-for and
pushed her back flat, but gently.

Grimacing, she rolled her eyes at him. “My back is fine,
what’s wrong with my leg?”

“Any dizziness, nausea?” He shined a light in her eyes one
by one.

“No.” She stopped a minute and focused on her pain. Other
than feeling stiff and as if she’d just crashed her bike, nothing stood out as
seriously major damage. “Neck is fine, back is fine. My ass hurts, if you want
to look at that.”

A snort from Grant made her want to laugh, but she was too
pissed off, and it hurt too badly.

“Typical racer. All right, sit up slowly, easy.” Grant
supported her and lifted her to sitting. She felt remarkably, fine. Then she
saw the gash on her leg. Actually, several of them, most small, all bloody, but
one was kind of deep.

“There was a stick in there. I took it out, irrigated it.
It’s clean, but you are going to need stitches. I called for the ATV to pick
you up.”

Shock seized her. “No freaking way. Where are we?”

Grant shook his head at her, letting her know he knew where
she was headed with this. “End of the bike course.”

“What’s left?”

“No, you’re done.” Grants voice was firm.

Steeling her nerve, she drew herself up. “Like hell, we only
have to do one more skill challenge, and we’re done.”

“You can’t do it. Your leg is hanging open.” He knelt down,
sympathy and pride in his eyes as he stroked her arm.

“He’s got glue, I know he does.”

“How the hell do you know that?” Grant shook his head, but
she caught the slight spark of interest that flashed in his eyes.

“Research. Story about an outback rescue team. You can glue
that kind of thing shut.”

“Too big.” The medic chimed in. Great. She was getting
tag-teamed and it wasn’t even fun.

“Do it,” she insisted, leveling her gaze at the unfazed
medic.

“No.”

“Teryn, stop arguing with the medic.”

“Can you force me to quit?” She looked the man straight in
the eye. He looked as if he’d seen more than enough racers and lunatics such as
she to last a lifetime.

He just sighed. “Nope.”

“Well then?” Still sitting on the ground in a heap, slightly
dizzy and feeling as if she couldn’t be sure she’d make it two steps let alone
the rest of the course, she refused to give up.

“You’ll bleed too much. He’s right, it’s too big for the
glue, you need stitches.”

“So wrap it tight as you can, we make the last leg, and then
I go to the hospital.”

Grant sighed. The concern in his voice was in direct
contrast to the huge grin on his face. He looked up at the medic, who shook his
head and shrugged, reaching for the tackle box with the bandages in it.

A few butterflies later, a tight length of gauze wrapped and
taped around about a third of her calf, and they were off with the medic’s
words ringing in her ears. “That’s gonna hurt like a bitch when they have to
pull those off you. You’re going to wish you hadn’t done it when it’s gone and
all you got left is the sting.”

Why was everything a metaphor?

Admittedly, they were slow as hell, and the pain in her leg
was throbbing more and more the farther she went on it, even with Grant half
holding her up like a crutch and the two Tylenol the medic had given her.
Tylenol hell, she needed about four shots of tequila to kill that pain. Relief
flooded her when the last challenge came into sight. That lasted about ten
seconds until she saw what it was.

His voice stayed even, noncommittal, as if sensing her
teetering on the edge. “Rope course. Looks like a zip line.”

Her hopes fell. Her reserve had hit bottom and she swore she
could feel tears rising to the surface. “Great. Falling. On purpose.”

“I’ll go first, I’ll catch you so you don’t have to try to
stick a landing on that leg.”

He didn’t say another word as he harnessed up, but he
watched her. Drawing her spine straight, she took a deep breath and faced him.
He leaned in and kissed her on the forehead, cupping her head in one of his
strong hands. She felt the power exchange, him giving her the space to get
through this without questioning her, even when the concern showed on his face.
Then he jumped. Once he was down, and she had been put in the harness, she held
her breath. She saw Grant down there, looking at her from the bottom of the
hill, waiting to catch her. A lump rose in her throat. Waiting to catch her.
Exactly what she wanted so badly for him to do.

Sucking in a deep breath, she felt the little shudder of it
catching in her chest. It was the fatigue, had to be. She’d never done anything
this hard in her life, and now she was walking wounded. It pushed her to the
edge, the brink of exhaustion, looking down the cliff and wanting to give up,
the point of almost crying. Couldn’t be the fact that today she’d had to accept
that the man at the bottom of the hill was her perfect partner. Moving in
tandem with her as if he was made to be there. Always there, pushing her,
loving her, inspiring her, cherishing her, never leaving her behind.

“You coming down to me?” he yelled up at her, arms
outstretched, looking larger than life and more than capable of handling her
crashing into him.

“On my way.” She took another deep breath, sniffed, blinked
her eyes to clear her watery vision, and stepped off the platform.

The ride was a rush, even with her fatigue. Fast and
furious, she hurtled toward the ground. He caught her easily, kissed her
soundly, then paused to wrap his arms around her and just hold her before he
unhooked her. They walked hand-in-hand the fifty yards to the last checkpoint.

They didn’t finish with any particularly spectacular time,
but they’d never intended to. He’d had confidence from the start that they’d
make it. She had just hoped to finish at all. And she had.

Once past the checkpoint, he easily scooped her up into his
arms, carrying her back to the parking lot and to the mercifully soft seat of
the car. He settled her in while he gathered all the gear and loaded the back
of her Jeep.

“I have to ask you something.”

“What’s that?” He leaned into her door, looking concerned.

“All these new terrifying, incredible things you’ve got me
doing, I love it, it’s the biggest rush I’ve ever had. But you, this is old
news, it’s probably like watching a baby learn to walk. What are you getting
out of it?”

A relieved look crossed his face and he took her face in his
hands. “You don’t know?”

“Not really. I feel, kind of…like you must think I’m
helpless.” A twinge of apprehension raced through her, she couldn’t meet his
eyes.

“Teryn?”

“What?”

He tipped her chin up until she was forced to either face
him or close her eyes. The deep-blue indigo pulled her in like always, the
sincerity there even more so. “You were amazing out there. Watching you fly is
what I get out of it. You don’t know what it’s like when someone you, uh,
someone you are helping really takes off and breaks through that barrier. Pulls
you right back to the first time you did it yourself, that pure high you can’t
ever quite get to again.”

“So that’s the crack part of it. You have to keep chasing the
new high. Once you’ve conquered one thing, the next one has to be higher,
deeper, more challenging, or you won’t get a rush.”

“Kind of, yeah.” He nodded, looking as if he didn’t want to
admit it.

It was coming really clear to her, how addicting this all was.
How it tinted every aspect of your life when it became part of you. Those damn
metaphors again.

“It can’t be that great though, I mean, this is like baby
steps, nothing to you.”

“It’s not what you’re doing that’s the rush, it’s who you’re
doing it with, what challenges you face. Especially if the person you are
racing with—” He turned away, his voice dropped and she couldn’t hear what he
said.

“What?”

“Nothing, I just think you were great. Fierce, like I said.
Watching you dig that deep and pull it out like that, just totally grind it out
and not give up on us. Well, you just never walk away from a challenge, is
all.” He closed the car door.

She let out her breath, allowing two of the tears filling
her eyes to fall before she brushed them away.

After the short trip to the nearby clinic, seven stitches
and one really big, greasy cheeseburger with fries later, she said she felt
much better. The original plan was to camp overnight at a nearby campground.
She had specifically asked they camp instead of making the five-hour drive back
exhausted or stay at a hotel. He’d explained she would be dirty, tired and at
the end of it a hot shower and soft fluffy bed would be so much more inviting
but she’d insisted. She wanted to live in his world, and hadn’t had much chance
to camp outdoors and wanted the whole experience, but he offered anyway, now
that she’d been hurt.

“It’s fine, it’s not that bad really. I’m guessing you’ve
had a lot worse.”

“Yeah, probably, but I’m a big dumb man.” He laughed. “You
need your rest and you deserve for me to take care of you after what you did
today.”

She sighed. “Okay, I want to sleep in a tent with you, as
dumb as that sounds. Have a fire, curl up with you under the stars.”

The sweet feel of just that simple revelation tightened his
chest, and he had to take a breath. “Anything you want baby, you know that.”

* * * * *

A couple of hours later as the fire was dying down, he’d
snuggled them up into a sleeping bag outside the tent. They took turns pointing
out constellations they remembered.

“You should see the night sky in New Zealand, when you’re
nowhere near a city. It’s like you are in them there are so many stars. It’s
incredible.”

“You really love it there, don’t you?”

“I want to go back. For longer than just the race, I mean. I
have seriously thought about living there.” The idea seemed hollow as he said
it. It had always seemed perfect before now, leave everything behind, living
there in peace. That was before her, when the only stuff he’d had to leave behind
were the things he wanted to be rid of the most. Now he had something he wasn’t
sure he could ever walk away from even if he didn’t have a choice.

“Does Nolo live there?”

“He does now. He may go back to South Carolina at some
point, not sure.”

“South Carolina? I thought you went to USC?”

“I did. He did. South Carolina is where he spent about half
his childhood.”

“A Maori.” She giggled, sounding doubtful.

“Yep. Don’t you remember me saying he talked like a Kiwi
with a Southern drawl?”

“I do remember. I kind of wondered about that.”

“Enough about that big bastard. Let’s talk about you.”

“Let’s talk about you, I have a question. It’s kind of
personal.”

“Ask away. I already told you, nothing you could ask me
would be too personal.”

“I’m wondering, considering how, uh, active your sex drive
is, if you haven’t had a relationship for a long time, well, what do you do
besides masturbating, I mean. That can’t possibly be enough to satisfy you.”

“I could say the same thing about you. You don’t exactly treat
sex like it’s a trip to the dentist.”

“I asked you first. But, I have BOB. Usually that takes care
of it. Not quite the same, but enough to get by.”

“Bob?” He tensed. A sex buddy? Her? He remembered her saying
she hadn’t had anyone in a long time, didn’t that count? As intense as she
could be in bed with him, it still didn’t seem possible. Then again, it was
probably more that he didn’t want it to be.

A low giggle came from her and she wrapped her arms around
him tighter. “Battery Operated Boyfriend. Since I can see you chewing that one
to death.”

“Ahh…” He grinned. “Gotta get that picture out of my head,
it’s pretty hot. Okay, well, yeah, lots of self-gratification. Besides you ramp
up my needs about ten times what they usually are. It’s not this bad when I’m
not with you. Before I met you, I mean.” He stopped, debating on whether to
tell her the rest. There was no debate really, he had enough to tell her
without having to backtrack everything he ever told her. “I’ll be totally
honest, I do tend to search out quickie little flings here and there if I need
to. Sad to say, there’s always someone around after the races that’ll climb in
your tent faster than you can shuck off your clothes.”

“Oh. Guess that makes sense.” Her voice had the quiet tone
of a woman digesting information she didn’t want to hear.

“That bother you?”

“No. I don’t think that kind of thing is any big deal
really.”

“Then why the tight voice? The question was rhetorical.”

“I was just wondering if that’s what this was, the first
night.”

“No. Don’t ever think it was. Yeah I pushed us there hard
and fast and I wasn’t thinking, but it was never about just fucking you.” He
let out a big sigh. “Guess it’s time to come clean, I have something I need to
tell you.”

Teryn turned toward him, leaning up on one elbow. The little
crinkle of worry that creased her forehead was there. He usually thought it
looked cute, but not when he had caused it. He could tell she had a momentary
feeling of terror, that she wasn’t ready for whatever he said, good or bad. Didn’t
matter, he had to do it.

“It’s not that bad.” No, this one wasn’t, but the other huge
rock dangling over her head by barely a rope was. The one he was terrified of
dropping on her.

“What makes you think I thought it was?”

“That little scrunched-up look your eyes get. Kind of like
you wince before it hits you.”

“What hits me?”

“I don’t know, but I know you always think one of these days
something bad is going to happen between us. I hate that, you know?” Especially
because he knew it might, and it would be his fault. He couldn’t believe he was
even discussing it. He rubbed his eyes, then reached out and pulled her closer,
needing to touch her when he spilled some of the truth. This one wasn’t a big
deal but how she dealt with it would tell him a lot. Like if he had a chance in
hell of keeping her when the real bombshell hit her. “Anyway, don’t worry, it’s
not bad. It’s, well, the first time you met me…”

“Yeah?” Her eyes sparked interest.

“It wasn’t the first time I saw you.”

“What?” Real surprise registered and she leaned up slightly,
pulling away a little.

He took a breath. He’d power-brokered deals with heads of
state. He’d negotiated impossible contracts with corporate conglomerates, yet
facing this down-to-earth woman in front of him, raw and exhausted from the
race she had run with him, had him terrified. Admitting to her the little white
lie of an average guy had him sweating, belly tight with fear. “I saw you,
three days before that. The day you had Al put the books on hold. In fact,
that’s how he showed me the way they do it, he walked me through it with your
hold order.”

Her head tilted, her voice sharp with disbelief. “My sex
manuals.”

“Yes.”

Her eyes squinted, but her lips curled slightly with
amusement. “Why exactly didn’t I see you? I think I’d have remembered it.”

The words came easier now. “I was in the back office when
you came in. You couldn’t see me but he pointed you out to me. I sat there,
watching you talk to Al, and then you talked to someone else. I was attracted
to you right then and there.”

“Especially after Al showed you my book order,” she snorted.

“No.” He laughed, shaking his head and pulling her back into
him. “It was just you, I didn’t even see that until after you left, but I can’t
say it didn’t help add to the interest.”

“Great. So you set me up?” Putting her hand on his chest,
she gave him a little push.

“No, come on, I didn’t do that. Who knew when you’d be back
to get the books, it could have been Al who was there. I admit, I did decide I
would eventually corner you somehow. After I saw you, I knew I had to. What I
told you about how much you surprised me that night when you picked them up was
the truth. You were so damn sweet, all nervous, stuttering over those damn
things. I had you pegged for something else completely.”

“What something else?”

He looked at the sky, remembering all too well every little
moment of watching her. “Well, you talked to Al like he was your best friend,
then the other guy you spoke to, he was drooling over you like a lovesick puppy
but you were nice to him. Didn’t give him the time of day, but you weren’t
nasty either. You were confident, a little spicy even. Took the time to talk to
him before you made some crazy excuse and waltzed out. You could tell he’s uh,
a fan. You flirted, gave everyone what they wanted, and flounced out of there
like you owned the world.”

“I remember. Ted, and yeah, he’s a fan all right. Creeps me
out thinking he goes home and jerks off reading my books. Sometimes there is a
downside when people find out who you really are.” He felt the little shudder
that went through her, but it was the way she snuggled closer to him for
comfort that really caught his attention. If her words hadn’t nailed the exact
situation he’d gotten himself into with her it would have felt amazing.

“Al told me who you were, what you did. He’s very protective
of you, explaining away why you had to have these books so I wouldn’t think you
were a nut job. He really loves you. I figured if he thinks that highly of you
there must be something special about you, he’s pretty sharp. After he told me
about your books, I grabbed one and took it home with me that night.”

“And?”

“What do you think?” He couldn’t hold in the grin or the
wicked laugh.

“Oh no. Seriously, tell me you didn’t?”

“How could I not? For Christ’s sake the character in the
book just reminded me nonstop of you, and, well, man, I’ve never read anything
that hot that wasn’t straight up porn.”

“Oh my God! You tossed off to one of my books!”

“Yeah. Twice. Probably more if you hadn’t shown up in person
and gave me the real thing. Deal with it. Give me a break, dirty girl, I can’t
even come close to your level of hot badness.”

“Says the guy who tied me up, tortured me into submission,
and claimed my naked ass like it was the Holy Grail.”

He felt the grin spread over his face as if it were
Christmas morning. “Yes, yes I did.”

“You took advantage of me.”

“What? I did not, I distinctly remember someone begging me,
no, ordering me—”

“Not that! Oh yeah, I wanted that. No, I meant when I walked
in the library that day, you were already one step, no, make that two stroke
sessions, ahead of me. So unfair.”

“Not unfair, lucky. Look what you got out of it. Me. All of
me. As much as you want, all the time.”

“You say that like you are a carnival prize.” She giggled.

“Aren’t I?” He leaned in to kiss her. Her eyes shifted for a
moment. It wasn’t the heady look of wanting him, it was something else. He
recognized it because it was there too often. Usually when she was trying hard
to dismiss the idea that he really did care about her.

“No, you aren’t, Grant. What you are to me, is, well, a lot
more than that.”

So much for dismissing. The need he had to claim that
ironclad little heart of hers ground out like broken glass in his stomach.

This time it was him who shut it down, knowing she wasn’t
ready, and he couldn’t risk it. “Hey, did you see that? Shooting star. Make a
wish.”

“No, you saw it first, you make one.”

“Okay, fine, if you’re giving it up.” He mentally voiced the
same damn thing he’d wished for every day in the last week, the second he woke
up.

“So, what’d you wish for?”

“I can’t tell you, you know that.”

“You’re no fun.”

“Now that is a total lie.” He kissed the end of her nose. “I
was hoping you’d take the wish.”

“Why’s that?”

“Why do you think?”

Her face grew more serious. She let out a little sigh.

“Sorry. I can’t help it. I can push you all day long if it
comes to the sex, but the minute I push you about us… I just can’t take that
look.”

“Grant, I—”

“Don’t, Teryn. You don’t have to. I’m a big boy.”

“It’s not that, I don’t mind when you push me. It’s not that
I don’t want to talk about it, I just, well it makes me feel guilty.”

“Guilty?”

“Because I really wish I could give you what you want.”

“I don’t understand why you can’t. It’s not like there is
someone else you are planning on running away with. I mean, you haven’t even
met Nolo yet.” Jokes didn’t help his humor.

He felt her punch him playfully, but her face was still
serious. “How can I give you something that I don’t have? Do you want me to lie
to make you feel better? That’s not who I am.”

“I know. Most women would though. But you’re not most women
and that’s why you’re the one I want.”

“And you have me, Grant, you really do. I’m not going
anywhere.”

Maybe the fatigue got to him, maybe having to hold it all
in. Whatever the reason his frustration, his fear, rode right on the surface,
and for once he didn’t push them back. “No, you’re happy to bide your time with
me. Spend every night in my bed, spend our days like regular people, letting me
read to you, talking about your next book, working out with me, doing new
things with me, like now. Sharing our lives, Teryn, like people who care about
each other, people who want to be together. But you don’t believe it. You can’t
let it just sink in and be part of you. You’re still waiting for the other shoe
to drop. Don’t sugarcoat it, because you can’t, I can see it on your face every
time I bring it up. The sex is great, you like me, I like you, and at some
point, I’m going to get bored, pick up, leave and go off to my next adventure.
That’s the little story you’ve written in your head. If you don’t watch it,
Teryn, it might become a self-fulfilling prophecy.” He turned away from her.
The pain in his chest was pounding, blinding.

“Grant—”

“It’s fine, Teryn. Let me sleep. I’ll forget about it by
morning.”

“No, you won’t. Why do you have to be such a goddamn smart
freak of nature? Why do you have to always be able to tell what the hell I’m
thinking? Why can’t you just go with the muscled bad boy half of you? That one
doesn’t think like a fucking college professor?”