Judging June (Downtown) (9 page)

Wow. I am spent and dazed. Mighty hot Phillip just gave me two fucking orgasms, I’ll never recover. He is definitely a beast.

What time is it? We both fell asleep and I’m not even sure how long. It’s dark outside and the air just clicked on again. I love being tangled up with him, it feels so good; my right leg is swung over his left leg, my arm hugging his torso and my head resting on his tight, muscled chest. He has me shielded and protected in the grip of his arm, I could easily die happy right here.

His hold tightens as he awakens. Kissing my forehead he caresses my upper thigh and quietly admits, “Love this ribbon.”

I place my hand on top of his, grinning. “You really do, don’t you?” I ask, surprised. I mean, I
am
surprised. I never thought I would hear him say that to me.

“Oh, yeah I do,” he replies, playfully. “It’s my favorite piece on this body.” We hook fingers over on my thigh.

I take in a breath. “What made you change your ways? You hated tattoo’s,” I remind him.

“You,” he quickly responds. “This art is who you are. How can I not appreciate that?”
What?
I can’t believe my ears. Wow! He has no idea how far I have
now
fallen.

“So . . . ,” I slowly start to ask. “ . . . the tattoo’s. . . . .pierci -”

Phillip lightly jerks my body in order to get my attention. He moves his body onto his side, so now we are facing each other. His hand touches the curve of my waist, braising the skin with his fingers—it tickles.

His face becomes very serious. “Hear me again. . . . without any of this,” lightly touching my tattoos, “you wouldn’t be you. I love what I see, June. I love it,” he ends on a whisper. Our chests touch as we both move in for a kiss.
Mmm, so nice. He kisses oh so good.
Rough one minute, soft the next. He’s a man of many talents.

“Does that mean you’ll want to get one yourself?”

He throws his head back and laughs.
Oh my, I love his laugh!
“I wouldn’t go
that
far.”

I bite my lip, grazing my finger across his chest. “Oh, I don’t know, I’d think you would look pretty sexy with one . . . right here,” my finger lands near the end of his torso. I look up into his eyes and smile.

His dark green eyes are in deep thought. What is he thinking? He’s so serious sometimes. “Maybe,” he blurts out, humorously grinning at me again.
A tattoo on Phillip . . . God I can just imagine it now.
Hot.

We are quiet for a minute until I decide to bring up the marriage talk. It’s time to get this out of the way. “Hey, we need to talk about this whole marriage thing.”

I hear him sigh. “I only agreed with your father because—“

“Because that’s who you are,” I cut in. “Stepping up the responsibility, I get that, but it’s not in my cards right now, Phillip. I want to be in love first.”
I’m already there.
“I want
us
to be in love, before we go down that route. Having a baby doesn’t mean having to get married. It wouldn’t be healthy for us, for our baby if we were in a marriage, unhappy. You get me?”

I can tell he’s thinking, he’s tapping my thigh with his finger. I know he wants to get his way and be all alpha, controlling beast, but he has to understand it’s not going to happen. “I get you. So, no marriage . . . for now,” he promises.

“Thank you.” I lift up, smile and kiss him. Those lips, I could eat them all day.

Then out of no where he asks, “Junith, huh?”

I gasp and smack his arm. “That is a low blow, mister.”

His hand leads to my butt, squeezing it to bring us even closer to one another, I can feel his dick against me.
Nice.
“Tell me your full name, ”he chuckles.

I scoff, “No.”

“No?” He raises a brow. “Am I going to have to turn you over on my knee in order to get you to tell me?”

Oh, my God! The devilish alpha is back! “What? Hell no!” I start laughing as I push him away, but he’s way too strong for me. Instead of smacking me on the ass he cages me in and starts to tickle me. I burst into screams and laughter, I cannot breathe. “Okay, okay, fine! Stop tickling me! I’ll tell you!” Still caged in and still trying to get my breath back I tell him my name. “It’s Junith Beatrice.” He stares at me for a second and tries his hardest not to laugh, yet he can’t help himself. He rolls off me and bursts into laughter. I could just kill him! “I knew I shouldn’t have told you, you big jerk!” I smack him again, pouting, yet he continues to laugh.
Ugh, madness! Although he does look cute laughing.

His laughter dies down. “I fucking love it,” he chuckles.

Still laying on my back, I cross my arms. “It’s a ridiculous name.” It is! I have no idea what my parents were thinking! The only ones who were ever allowed to call me Junith Beatrice were my parents. Other than that, June was it. I hated my name growing up.
Beatrice. Ugh.

“Come here,” he chuckles, yanking me over on top. One hand on my ass, the other behind my head and the lips find each other.
Mmmm.

Sadly I need to break away. “I have to pee again.” Stupid bladder. I sprint to the bathroom and do my business, but as I go to grab some toilet paper I feel a heaviness, cramping. Maybe having sex brought on the cramps, but that’s not it. I wipe myself and find a massive amount of blood.

I scream, calling out for Phillip. He comes rushing into the bathroom looking alarmed. “What’s wrong!”

“There’s blood. Lots of blood! Something’s wrong!” I start to panic as Phillip wraps me with a towel. He then races to get his cell phone and dials 911. Oh, my God, 911? What the hell is happening!
I suddenly feel faint . . . . . . . . .

IT’S QUIET. REALLY,
REALLY
QUIET. As I walk through June’s apartment it seems the whole world has gone silent; like somehow, everyone knew we had lost the baby.

There was blood—a whole lot of blood. I retrieved my cell phone, called 911, went back to June and found her unconscious. She lost so much blood she passed out, I was terrified she was going to die on me. The paramedics rushed her to the hospital, took her straight into the ER and left me alone in the waiting room, covered in blood. I didn’t know what to do, I felt at a complete loss.

While I waited for any news about June, I made calls to Faith and June’s parents. By the time they arrived I was in a clean pair of scrubs one of the nurses gave me to change into. I dumped my other clothes in the trash; the thought of taking those home. . . . I just couldn’t.

We all sat in that damn waiting area, for God knows how long, without any news. We were going stir crazy. My mind was on overdrive, trying to figure what went wrong, and if June and the baby were going to be okay? Sadly, I knew that deep down we had lost our baby. You can’t have that much blood loss and think everything is going to be okay . . . you just can’t. In the end I could have lost them both. I’m not so sure I would be able to handle losing two people I’ve come to love, all at one time.

We were finally taken to June’s room; she was hooked up to an IV and were told she had a blood transfusion—damn, that’s really bad. Soon after, we were told June lost the baby and since she had lost so much blood she would need to stay in the hospital for a day or two, for observation reasons. Next, the doctor
so
kindly told me how sorry he was about the loss of our kid.
Fuck you, doc.
My heart sank the moment those words “she lost the baby” came out of his mouth, I wanted him to shut the hell up. I didn’t want it to be true, and I didn’t want to tell June.

Faith and Virginia were both visibly upset; they held onto each other and cried. Jasper came over to me and patted my back and did his best to keep the tears in. I just wanted to sit by June’s bedside and cry into her chest; hold her hand, kiss her on the forehead. Yet I felt glued to the floor, I couldn’t move. I couldn’t feel anything, nor did I want to feel anything. I wanted this nightmare to go away and pretend it never happened.

I stood in the background as Virginia told June the news. I should have been the one telling her and comforting her, but Virginia thought it was best she tell her. I didn’t have the strength to go through with it anyhow. I watched how calm and nurturing Virginia was explaining to June what had happened. I saw the look in June’s eyes, how devastated and gutted she was. I have never witnessed anything like it. Then the crying began and I couldn’t be in the room any longer. My vision became blurred as I exited out of the room. I took a walk down a deserted hallway, slowly crouched down on the ground and began to sob; I covered my eyes with my fists and let everything out. From what I built up inside all evening, I exploded with grief I’ve never experienced; it’s the deepest, most darkest emotion.

I cried until my chest hurt. Faith came looking for me and I quickly dried my eyes as she sat down beside me. We didn’t exchange any words, not for a long time. She just held my hand and put her head on my shoulder, there was no reason to say anything. We both felt drained and devastated. I never thought Faith and I would be in this position together, comforting one another. It felt nice to have someone by my side.

I couldn’t leave the hospital, not until June was released. We hadn’t spoken because she was either sleeping or she didn’t want to speak with anyone. I got it—I got
her.
While she slept I slipped onto the bed beside her and spooned her body against mine until I fell asleep as well. Even though I was told I wasn’t allowed to stay with her, June’s parents insisted I stay. They handled the nurses on my behalf.

Faith drove me home while June’s parents took her back to her apartment. I showered and packed a bag and headed back over to June’s. I just couldn’t stay away from her. I needed her—we needed each other. I craved the feeling of holding her, talking with her, but she was always sleeping; the doctors gave her a sedative to help with sleep and pain. Could they get rid of the pain in my heart, because it was dying of sadness.

I am sitting in June’s livingroom with the TV on, flipping through channels, not really wanting to watch anything, but I need the distraction. Faith is on the phone with Lucky, talking quietly in the kitchen; Virginia exits June’s bedroom and sits beside me. “You need anything?” Virginia asks.

“No, thanks.” I flip the TV off and put the remote back on the coffee table. I turn to her, “How is she?”

“She’s asleep.”

I nod my head and stare at her closed door. I wish there was something I could do, anything to help June—anything to help me. “What can I do for her? I feel so helpless.” I swipe a hand through my hair and exhale with a loud breath.

“Not much any of us can do, honey. Being here for support is all what’s needed right now.” Then with a sorrowful facial expression, Virginia adds, “From experience I know that’s all
I
could handle.”

Virginia suddenly takes my hand and gives it a squeeze and dabs an eye. I don’t know what to say to her, so I keep silent.

Just then I remember I told my parents about the baby, and now. . . . how am I supposed to let them know about June losing it? It’s going to crush them. “My parents. I just told them the news a few days ago. They were so happy. Now. . . . .”

“One thing at a time,” Virginia advises.

Faith overhears and offers, “I can call them if you’d like?”

I nod. “Thanks.” One less thing for me to worry about.