Indulgence (186 page)

How could I not blame myself? I bent down to the level of
her eyes. “Cassidy I blame myself because it happened in my establishment. I
promise you that’s all.” She let out a gut wrenching sob as I pulled her
closer. She had been through enough and I didn’t want to hurt her with all the
unnecessary details. “I’m so sorry.”

Her shaking began to subside with the security of my arms
around her. “Please don’t blame yourself. It’ll break me apart all over again.
I’m sorry I doubted you,” she said into my chest.

I wished that I could erase all her hurt. I tilted her face
toward mine and kissed her softly. She opened for me and her tongue was already
seeking mine. I wondered if she would always have this effect on me. My cock
was already aching for her as she ran her hands through my hair. I pressed my
erection into her belly and realized she had turned the water off as she opened
the shower door. She pulled me to the bedroom without bothering to dry off,
only one thing on her mind.

Holding my hand, she opened the top drawer of her nightstand
and pulled out a condom, lying it down on top. She lowered herself, lying down
on the bed like a willing sacrifice. I took in her body, the curve of her
belly, breasts and thighs. Her hair was wet and clung to her damp body. She was
the perfect mixture of innocence and experience. I grabbed the condom and
sheathed myself before I joined her on the bed.

“Slow and easy this time, Cassidy.” She
needed
me to
go slow—it was written all over her face—and for once I
wanted
to take
her slowly. My hands moved to her temples and gently massaged them before I ran
my long fingers through her wet hair. I kissed almost every inch of her face
while she stroked my arms. She started running her fingers through my hair and
it nearly drove me wild. My hair was one of my weaknesses, like Samson. She
brought my mouth down to hers and devoured my mouth. She led the kiss, licking
and sucking my tongue and lips before pulling my bottom lip between her teeth
gently biting down. I groaned as I pressed my cock against her. She made me
want to thrust into her at full force. Maneuvering to her opening, I moaned in
pleasure at the heat that radiated from her pussy.

“Take me, James.”

She was my little piece of heaven. I slid into her with
guarded control, slow and deliberate, as she arched her back to press closer to
me. We repeated the movement over and over again and I could sense that she was
losing control.

“James, oh God, it’s so good.”

The orgasm built in her as I watched her eyes glaze over.
She looked look lost in ecstasy. I reared up higher to penetrate her deeper.

“Oh Jesus.” .

I loved making her feel out of control. I grabbed her leg
and threw it up to my shoulder as she cried out, hitting her deeper.

“Ahhhh! Please don’t stop,” She was pleading with me and
frantic as she waited for her orgasm to take her.

“Have faith baby.” I pulled up as high as I could and drove
into her further. The only part of her body left touching the bed was her upper
back and head. I continued to drive in slow and deliberate. I put a little more
force behind my thrusts as she squeezed me into oblivion. She was ready to
burst. “Come for me.” After a few more strokes I caught her holding her breath
as she went stiff. I sensed the change in her and quickened my pace, knowing it
was the final piece to the puzzle that she needed.

I unleashed on her as she began screaming and panting her
release and she continued convulsing while her hands gripped the sheets. Her
pussy was clenched so tight around me that I couldn’t contain myself anymore. I
worked my hips frantically before she begged me to stop. She was drawing every
drop from me. I let her leg fall to the bed as I eased my mouth down to her
lips. “You’re amazing, Blackbird.”

She scoffed, “You do all the work.”

“If this is work then I’d like to do this job forever. It’s
like you were meant to be mine Cassidy.” My throat constricted as I realized my
slip up. I had said the words before my brain could even process them. I shouldn’t
have said it, though it was true. She was mine. Letting her go would surely end
me. She didn’t seem to notice and I rolled us to our sides, still inside her. I
ran my hands up and down her back as her body stilled and her breathing slowed.

“You’ve always been mine, from that first night. You belong
here, with me.” I wasn’t sure if she heard any of my words. I waited a moment
and realized she was fast asleep.

I was startled awake in the early morning hours. Waking up
with someone was still foreign to me. I had been known to share my bed, but not
my slumber. Cassidy was still fast asleep. I eased away from her and covered
her up before I wrote her a note. I then gathered my things and headed out the
door.

~ CASSIDY ~

I awoke and knew immediately that he was gone. My heart
sank. I reminded myself that we had just gotten together and maybe we weren’t
really
together.
I stretched and laid in bed for a while, recalling the
night before. I liked slow and steady James almost as much as I liked no holds
barred James. He was amazing in bed; it was clear to me what I had been missing
all those years. Passion. He simply had it, while the other ‘lovers’ I’d been
with never did. I decided I would tackle the last few boxes floating around the
house after I took a quick shower. I went to get out of bed and saw a note
sitting on the nightstand.

Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you.

Amazing night. I’ll talk to you soon.

XO ~J

His note gave nothing away and I couldn’t help but wonder
what ‘soon’ meant. I got out of bed, pulled my hair up and got in the shower.
After I had spent plenty of time under the hot water, easing my pleasantly
aching muscles, I exited the shower, pulled on some comfy clothes and headed
downstairs. I then spent the next thirty minutes setting up and programming my
new coffee maker and was soon enjoying a great cup of coffee. After collapsing
all of the empty boxes and throwing them in the garbage, my place was starting
to feel like a home. I headed to the living room and sat in front of some
unopened boxes.

A couple hours passed and all of the boxes were emptied
except for one. I still hadn’t found my damn iPod. I dug through the last box,
not recognizing the belongings. I looked on the outside of the box to find
there was no writing on it designating who it belonged to. After a few moments
it dawned on me whose box it was.

Holly.

I felt like an intruder looking through her belongings. Most
of her stuff was donated a few weeks after her death. She had no family, just
Sam and I. As I continued to pull items out I came across a picture frame and
removed it from the box. I flipped it over to see that it was the photo of the
two of us that she kept in her room.

It was taken my last night at the diner. Neither of us were
looking at the camera. She had her head thrown back in laughter, probably at
something I said.

I wasn’t even aware that I was crying until the tears hit my
leg. I was also on the cusp of laughing; the night that picture was taken was a
great night. I pulled out a little keepsake box and opened it up to find
tickets and movie stubs. Some of the events Holly and I had attended together
and others we hadn’t. I had no idea Holly was so sentimental.

I continued my investigation of the contents of the box.
GOLD! My iPod had been found, buried in the bottom. I jumped up and ran over to
the stereo, docked the iPod, pushed play and cranked it up. I grabbed my
laptop, pulled up iTunes and started downloading some of the summer’s biggest
hits. Holly always said I was a pop music whore and I couldn’t deny it. I loved
my top 40! I also setup a new playlist titled ‘James’.

Ride

~ CASSIDY ~

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed, probably a couple
hours. I was busy cleaning, organizing and re-organizing with the stereo
blasting. I thought I finally had the kitchen organized the way I wanted. I was
sweeping the floors when
I Love It
by
Icona Pop
came on. I couldn’t help but start singing and bouncing around to
the beat. I turned toward the front door and was briefly startled.

Knowing how loud I had the music on, I wondered how many
times he might have knocked and if he used the spare key or if I left it
unlocked.

“She sings!”

James was there, just watching me, leaning against the entryway
with his arms folded across his chest. He had a huge grin on his face, totally
amused. Normally I would’ve stopped in my tracks being totally humiliated, but
instead he inspired me to continue on my tirade. He pushed off the wall and
closed the distance between us.

I tried to play it cool and pranced my way over to him
before I gyrated my ass against his thigh as I continued to sing. When the song
ended I went to turn the music down, but he caught my arm just before I was out
of his reach.

Grazing his lips across mine he whispered, “I missed you.”

“Hmmm.” I eagerly kissed him back. “You were up early.” It
was a statement not a question. I took in his appearance. I hadn’t seen this
James before. His hair was down and I admired him from head to toe as he pushed
some strands out of his face. He was wearing a black V-neck shirt, a black
leather jacket, dark jeans that hugged him perfectly and black boots. He had my
entire being humming with his hotness. If I hadn’t known better I would’ve
guessed he had shown up on a Harley.

He threaded his hand through his hair as I checked him out.
“Get dressed, Cassidy. I’m taking you for a ride.” I looked at him with a
question in my eyes. “It’s a gorgeous fall day and I want to spend it with you.
Come on.” Leading me to the stairs, he patted my ass as I headed up. I stopped,
turned and before I could say anything he said, “Totally casual. You’ll want to
wear jeans and boots if you have them.” I nodded and headed back up the stairs
and into my room.

I liked casual James. I rummaged through my closet and
pulled out my favorite jeans, a grey t-shirt, and after throwing half a dozen
pairs of shoes out of the way I found my favorite pair of army boots. I threw
them on and went to the bathroom to put on a little makeup and brushed my
teeth. I noticed that the music wasn’t quite so loud anymore.

~ JAMES ~

I took in my surroundings and could tell she had done a lot
of work. The only boxes I saw were empty and evidence of her just moving in was
now gone. Walking over to the stereo, I turned the music down and answered my
ringing cell phone. The call confirmed that her car was ready and I gave
instructions for it to be dropped off at her house in the next couple hours.

It was then that I spotted the pictures on the mantel and
glanced through them. There was a picture of a younger version of Cassidy and
two guys, one older and the other her brother. The older gentleman had to be
her dad. On the other end of the mantel was a picture of her and Holly. I
picked it up and admired the candid moment and then immediately flashed through
every moment of that horrible night at the bar again. I scolded myself for not
warning her off Dan sooner. Dan swore he was clean but the toxicology reports
from that night revealed otherwise. The fucker even went as far as to hide some
of his stash in my office at the Blue Horse.

~ CASSIDY ~

I looked in the mirror and took the pony out before running
my brush through it. I decided to leave it down but threw an elastic band
around my wrist. After putting on some eye shadow, mascara and gloss, I took a
deep breath and headed downstairs. Grabbing my purse and a jacket off the coat
rack, I turned and found James standing by the fireplace. He was holding the
photo of Holly and me. “Ready when you are.”

He must not have heard me come down the stairs as he looked
to me slightly startled. He put the photo back before he walked over to me.
“That was quick.” I simply smiled and glanced nervously down to my feet before
motioning him to the front door. James went through the door as I dug through
my purse. When I found my keys, I locked the door and placed the keys back in
my purse. Finally lifting my head to find James, my jaw dropped.

I froze instantly. “Holy hell!” He was straddling a big
black bike. He looked like a fucking god on it, just smiling at me. He turned
it on and revved the engine. Goosebumps flew across the back of my neck as I
took a deep breath and walked down the stairs.

James revved the engine again for optimum effect as I walked
down the stairs. “Have you ridden before?” I shook my head no. “Really? Well,
come here.” I walked hesitantly toward him as he handed me a helmet. He was
helping me put it on while giving me some instructions. “You’re going to want
to keep your feet here and not here.”

He pointed out a few things and I nodded in agreement. Cal
had a bike and had offered to take me for a ride, but I had always refused. I
climbed on, rather ungracefully, slipping once, and put my hands in my lap.

I sensed him laugh as he had to reach behind himself for my
arms. “You’re going to want to hold on, Cassidy.”

After pulling my arms around he asked if I was ready. I
responded, “I think so!” He revved the engine and I jumped a little as the
tingly vibration ran under my seat and through me.
Dear Lord!
Before I
could say anything more, he let the tires squeal as he took off down the road,
causing me to grip him tighter.

James quickly headed to the north freeway to get out of the
city. It really was an awesome fall day. We’d been graced with an unusually warm
fall. Soon winter would be upon us and the bike would likely go into storage
until spring.