Indulgence (136 page)

I start to cry. “But Jaz, I was so . . . it felt so . . .”

“I know, precious. I did this to teach you something. I
wanted you to watch me with her, know that I never touched her, know that I’d
never betray you that way. Your hackles were up from the very minute you saw me
talking to her, but there was no need, my angel.”

“But why . . .”

“Because you didn’t trust me, you put me in a position where
I had to do exactly what I did. If you’d just trusted me, you would’ve been her
mistress from the very beginning.” He kisses me lightly, then deepens it, and
the hands I’ve put on his chest in indecision finally find their way around his
neck and I kiss him back, tears flowing unrestrained.
That’s
why Michael
and Robyn never said anything. They knew exactly what was happening. I still
feel betrayed, but not in the same way I originally thought. My eyes are so
full that I can’t see, and Jaz whispers gently to me, “Kimmie, I love you, baby
girl. Just you. Do you finally understand that?”

I start to cry so hard that he just stops and holds me.
“Yes. But Jaz, I was so afraid.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I think I probably went a little too
far. I was trying to make a point, but I think the point got lost in the fear.
That’ll never happen again. I don’t want you to ever doubt me. I belong with
you.”

I’m so confused. “You didn’t want a picture of me? Just
her?”

He shakes his head. “Baby, the photos are for demonstration
purposes for Master Davidson. I would never, never take photos like that of
you. I’m too afraid of them finding their way out and around, and I don’t want
anyone gawking at you. You’re mine. We may scene here, but if I caught anyone
taking pictures of you, they’d probably need a new camera or phone when I got
done with theirs.” From a few feet away, there’s a groan. “I think you need to
check on your sub.” He leans in and whispers directly into my ear, “Be firm
with her. You can do it.”

Gazing in the direction of the suspended woman, I see her
writhing in her ropes as she watches Jaz and me together. When she sees me
looking toward her, she moans out, “Mistress, please?”

“No. You’ll wait until I tell you that you can come. If you
do so beforehand, you’ll be punished.” I turn back to Jaz and search his eyes.

“Very good. Now I want to make
you
come again.” With
no fanfare, he drops me to my back on the table and rises above me, then does
the one thing I never expected him to do.

He makes love to me. This is not frantic. He’s not
performing. Arms wrapped under my shoulders, he kisses me hard, our tongues winding
together, teasing but satisfying. I think about all the times I’ve been in
these performance areas, letting first one idiot and then another use me like a
bitch in heat, and wonder what they must think now. And in the next second, I
forget that there’s a club full of people watching us and my world narrows to
me and the man towering over me, powering into me and giving me his heart with
every stroke of his shaft. His breath grows more ragged, and he groans out,
“God, Kimmie, you give me everything I ever needed. I’m all yours, angel. Oh,
god, please, Kimmie, come with me, please?” Two more strokes and I feel his
body shudder out its release. Without hesitation, I knot up and buck against
him, feeling the head of his shaft slamming into the top of my channel, moving
everything in my belly as it drives home all his passion and promises.

Still gasping, I look over at Amelie, watch her eyes tear,
see her body writhing and bucking. She doesn’t make a sound, but the pleading
in her eyes is enough. I nod to her and call out, “Submissive, come for your
mistress.”

And she does. I’m amazed as I watch her, her body jerking
and shaking, and Jaz turns his head to watch as well. I could only hope for my
body to be as well-trained one day. Then he looks down into my face. “Tell me
that you know I belong to you. Say it, Kimmie.”

“I know you belong to me, Master.”

“Again.”

“I know you belong to me, Sir.”

A knowing smile spreads across his face. “Again.”

“I know you belong to me, Jaz. You belong to me, Jasper
Givens.”

“And you belong to me, Kimberly Hendricks. We belong
together. Don’t ever doubt that again.”

“No, Master.” Light as a breeze over the water, my fingers
trace his face. I see in his eyes a reflection of me, not the me I see, but the
perfection he sees, and my heart is full to overflowing. As sure as I’ve ever
been of anything, I whisper back to my lover, “I’ll never doubt again.”

*****

I’ve gotten dressed and I’ve got all of my things back in my
backpack when I hear someone come out of the showers and out walks Amelie,
naked and glorious. When she looks up and sees me, she smiles. After glancing
at the doorway, she asks, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

I just shrug. “Sure, I guess.” She pats a seat on the bench
next to her, and I join her.

For some reason, she almost looks embarrassed, and I don’t
understand why until she says, “I’m so sorry.”

“For what?”

“For making you feel the way I’m sure you felt. I didn’t
like it, but when you got so angry, he told me he had to teach you a lesson.”

“And did he explain that lesson?”

“He said you were angry because he was talking to me, and
the only reason for that would be if you doubted your relationship with him. He
said he never wants that to happen again. He loves you, Kimberly. I want you to
know this: When I submit to kinbaku, submitting to the kinbaku master comes
with the territory, and I know this. Every kinbaku master I’ve ever worked with
has fucked me, as was their right. Except Jasper. He never touched me any more
than he had to in getting the ropes right. That guy is one hundred and fifty
percent faithful to you. There’s something pure and kind and genuine about him.
You’re one lucky woman.”

“Thanks.” I can kind of feel my poor wounded heart scabbing
over with her words. He told her the exact same thing he told me, and it
worked. I’ll never doubt him again. “I appreciate you telling me that. It just
hurt so much and I didn’t understand.”

She wraps an arm around me and pulls me up against her. It’s
the first time I’ve ever been embraced by a naked woman, and it’s kind of
weird, but it’s also kind of nice. “I like you, Kimberly. And you’re a good
submissive too. He’s really proud of you and proud to be seen with you. And you
make a cute couple.” Towel in hand, she stands and smiles down at me. “I guess
I’d better get dressed. Aaron will be looking for me.”

“He’s pretty damn gorgeous too,” I grin at her.

“Yeah, and fucks like a racehorse. Plus he shares me with
anyone I want. He’s pretty cool.” But a sad look crosses her face and she sighs
before she says, “Still, it would be nice to have what you have with Jasper.”

I watch her shapely ass wander away and think about the
things she said. It’s encouraging to know she could see all of that between us,
and I hope everyone else did too. Kimberly the slut is gone.

Mistress Kimberly is in the house. And she’ll bow to Master
Jasper any time – any time at all, whatever he wants. I’m his and his alone.

I can tell something’s going on in his head, but he’s really
not giving me any clues. It’s been a long day. I had a submissive who couldn’t
stand still while I measured her, a Dominant who couldn’t decide what he
wanted, and another guy in his eighties who wanted a pair of leathers “that’ll
make my junk look perky.” I wanted to tell him that I’m a leatherworker, not a
magician, but I bit my tongue and told him I’d do my best. I honestly don’t
know what that means, but whatever – I’ll figure it out.

But it’s not one of those days where I feel like playing
twenty questions to figure out what’s going on with Jaz. I’m pretty sure he’ll
tell me eventually and, as usual, he doesn’t disappoint. As soon as we’ve
cleaned up the dinner dishes, he grabs my hand, leads me to the sofa, and turns
to me with a big grin. “How would you like to take a little trip?”

“With you? I’ll go anywhere!” I gush. Well, I would. I’d go
to hell with him if he’d promise to fuck me when we got there. Might as well
admit it: I’m in up to my earlobes, and I’m as happy about it as the Queen of
England in a high-end haberdashery. “So where and when?”

“Tomorrow. Got any appointments through the end of the
week?”

“None I can’t reschedule.”

“Good. Get on it.” He knows damn well I want to hear more,
so he hum-haws around and finally says, “Do you like St. Louis?”

Inside my head, there’s shrieking and clapping. “I don’t
know! I’ve never been there! I get to go?” Yes, I’m bouncing up and down like a
first-grader, and I don’t give a damn. This is just too exciting.

“Yeah. I talked to my boss. I’m driving it like always, and
I booked a suite at the Ritz-Carlton.”

That doesn’t sound right. “The company’s paying for a suite
at the Ritz-Carlton?”

“No, but they’re giving me the money they’d spend on a room
for me, and I’m just applying that to the room tab.”

Now my heart sinks. I know he can’t afford that. “Sweetie, you
don’t have to do that. The Ritz-Carlton? That’s pretty expensive. I’d be happy
in a Holiday Inn or . . .”

His hand lifts my chin and tips my head back to look into
his eyes. “I want to do this. I want to take you there and have a good time. My
work will be three days; we’re staying five nights, leaving on Tuesday and
driving back Sunday. I’ll have to be at the plant on Wednesday, so we’ll
arrange for someone to come and take you around, show you some sights. I’m sure
I can find someone to chauffeur you around for three days.”

“But Jaz, are you sure . . .”

“I’m positive.” He kisses my forehead and I just drop onto
his chest, my arms wrapping around his waist. As he strokes my hair, he
whispers, “Please don’t worry about money. I just want us to go there and have
a good time, okay?”

No man has ever wanted to go that kind of distance for me.
I’m excited about going, but I’m more excited about being with him, about
having someone who thinks I’m worth the time and money to go to this kind of
trouble for me. I’m not exactly sure what I think, but I know I love him more
every minute that I’m breathing. “Okay. I won’t, I promise. But can I take some
of my own money, you know, for spending money, to buy souvenirs and stuff like
that?”

I feel the vibration in his chest when he laughs. “Sure.
That’s fine. Maybe you’ll buy me a present!”

I lift my head and gaze up at him. “Maybe I will.” He leans
into my face and gives me a peck on the lips. “I’ll get you something nice,
something that I can only get there. How’s that?”

“That sounds perfect. Whatever you give me, if it’s from
you, I’m sure I’ll love it.”

My head drops back to rest on his chest. I’m going to St.
Louis with Jaz. The Ritz-Carlton. How exciting! Wonder if they have those big
fluffy white robes like in the movies? Wonder if I’ll even need one? That makes
me laugh right out loud.

“What?”

“Oh nothing. Just something silly. Wondering if they have
those fluffy white robes like in the movies.”

Just as deadpan as possible, he answers, “Doesn’t matter.
You won’t need one.”

Now I’m shrieking with laughter. “Oh my god! That’s exactly
what I was thinking!”

“See?” He drops a little kiss on the crown of my head. “We
understand each other pretty well, don’t you think?”

I just sigh. “Yes. And I think I love you more every day.”

“I
know
I love you more every day!” He lets out a
little sigh. “Kimmie, I’ve never been this happy in my whole life. Every day
with you is like a huge gift, and I’m so grateful to you for loving me.”
Without warning, I just burst into tears. “Baby, what’s the matter?”

It’s hard to talk while I’m sobbing. “Nothing. I just never
dreamed any man would ever say anything like that to me. Why, Jaz? Why do you
care anything about me?”

Still stroking my hair, he answers simply, “You’re
beautiful. You’re funny. You’re smart. You’re a great cook, and you appreciate
my cooking too. You’re as happy with a bottle of beer as with a glass of fine
wine. You have great fashion sense, but you’re not out spending like a drunken
banker. But you know what the most important thing is about you?” I’m still
blubbering as I shake my head. “You love me. And I
know
that you love
me. You don’t just tell me; you show me with everything you do. When you add to
that your submission, there’s no man on this earth who’s luckier than I am. I
had no idea I could find someone who’d love me the way you do, but every day
you let me know that you do, and I love you more than the day before. Kimmie, I
don’t think you have any idea what an extraordinary woman you really are.”

I just can’t stop crying. My heart was so damn broken, and
now it’s so amazingly full. If I’d even had the notion to pray for someone,
this man would’ve been more than I could’ve ever hoped for. I manage to stutter
out, “Jaz, please, please don’t leave me. Please?”

There’s that rumble in his chest again when he says, “Baby
girl, I’m not going anywhere. I don’t think you could get rid of me if you
tried. Come on, let’s go to bed. It’s been a long day.”

With a shudder and a sigh, my tears finally end. “Hey, can I
ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“How could I make a pair of leathers that would make a guy’s
junk look perky?”

After staring at me for a full fifteen seconds, he starts to
howl with laughter. “You’re kidding, right?”

There’s a huge grin on my face as I answer, “Nope. Got that
request today, and I have no idea where to go with it.”

“Well, seeing as my junk’s still perky,” he gasps, “I have
no idea what to tell you!”

I play-snarl back, “Well, you’re just no help at all.”