Icebreaker (33 page)

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Authors: Deirdre Martin

Tags: #Women lawyers, #Contemporary, #Legal, #General, #Romance, #Hockey players, #Fiction

BOOK: Icebreaker
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“No.”
Sinead pressed her lips together to suppress the nasty words threatening to come out of her mouth. “You didn’t think to ask, did you?”
“I’m not a lawyer! I don’t go around cross-examining my friends!” Adam looked worried. “Do you think Teddy would talk to you on the record?”
“No way,” Sinead said without hesitation. “Remember: his salary is paid by the NHL. Welsh, as big a scum as he is, is simply their puppet.”
“God, I love when you get all steely.”
“We’re gonna win this,” Sinead declared. “I’m going to have to reinterview some of the players, but it won’t be a problem.”
“What’s your new angle?”
“I’m not telling you! It might jinx it!”
“Another believer in the jinx. You have to tell me! I’m your client!”
“I know that.” Sinead playfully wiggled her big toes. “But just trust me on this, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Let’s stop talking about this now. Just for today, I want to forget about work.”
“Gotcha.” Adam resumed kneading her feet. “Your mom seemed a little fixated on Chip at dinner.”
“Sorry about that,” Sinead said grimly.
“When are you going to tell me why you split up?”
“Is it important you know the gory details?”
Adam cocked his head thoughtfully. “Yeah, it is. Your marriage was a huge part of your life. Not only am I curious, but I think I have a right to know.”
“You’re right. We split over the issue of kids.”
“What, he didn’t want any and you did? Or vice versa?”
“No, we both wanted kids. We just couldn’t agree on how to parent.”
“What do you mean?”
“Chip thought I should be a stay-at-home mom until the child started kindergarten. That wasn’t feasible: if I took five years off my career, I would completely lose momentum, and I can’t afford that. I pointed out to him we had enough money for a nanny; we could have the nanny watch the baby during the day, and then we could take care of the baby ourselves at night and on the weekends.
“Chip was having none of it: he was raised by a nanny and hated it. I pointed out that his nanny was with him twenty-four hours a day for years; she basically raised him, which would not be the case with our child. It didn’t matter. Eventually I said that if he felt so strongly about a parent being home, then why didn’t he stay home with the baby, and I would continue working? I thought that was the perfect solution; we would both get what we wanted. Apparently, that wasn’t an option, either.
“ ‘Children need their mothers,’ ” he insisted. “When I made the point that they needed their fathers, too, he turned a deaf ear. He was completely inflexible on the issue. Completely.”
Sinead looked up at the ceiling again. All this was very painful, not to mention stressful, for her to recount. She could feel the muscles in her head beginning to tighten, but she knew she had to finish. “It was a total standoff after that. Communication between us basically broke down. Irreparably. Eventually, we divorced. Believe me, it was for the best. So that’s the story.”
Adam said nothing. As the silence wore on, Sinead began to worry. She looked at him. “You’re being very quiet,” she murmured.
“Mmm.”
“What’s going on, Adam?”
Adam looked troubled. “I agree with Chip.”
Sinead sat up. “What?”
“I think kids do need their mothers. Asking you to stay home for the first five years was not an outrageous demand.”
“Kids need their fathers, too,” Sinead pointed out calmly. She had an eerie sense of déjà vu. “There was no reason he couldn’t stay home for five years if he didn’t want a nanny.”
“But kids bond stronger to the mother, right? That’s just the natural way of things.”
Sinead covered her face with her hands. “Oh my God. I can’t believe you’re saying this.” She peered at him through the screen of her fingers. “Do you realize how backward that sounds?”
Adam was unfazed. “I’m a traditional guy. You know that.”
Sinead lowered her hands. “There’s traditional and then there’s antiquated. Thinking the mother should be the one to stay home is antiquated. It doesn’t matter which parent stays home, as long as there is a loving, caring presence there.”
“I disagree.”
Sinead was growing indignant. “Did you not hear the part about me losing career momentum? It’s different for women, Adam. A nanny would have solved everything. A nanny wouldn’t be ‘raising’ our child the way Chip said. Yet he was completely inflexible. Completely. His way or the highway. I’m sorry, but that’s not the way things work in a marriage.
“And while I’m at it, allow me to point out that both my parents worked, and my siblings and I all turned out perfectly fine.”
“They both worked because they had no other choice. I will bet you anything that if they’d had the money, your mom would have stayed home.”
“Call and ask her,” Sinead said heatedly. “Go on.”
“Why couldn’t you work part-time? As a compromise?”
“I offered to work part-time, but that wasn’t enough. Besides, why couldn’t
he
work part-time?” Sinead countered angrily. “I told you: it’s different for women. I’ve had to work twice as hard to prove myself.”
“Family is more important than work, Sinead.”
“You think I don’t know that? There are ways to have both, Adam.”
They sat staring at each other. Standoff. Sinead had been in this place before with Chip. She refused to be there again.
“Are you going to talk to me?” Adam asked eventually.
“Are you going to talk to
me
?”
Adam looked troubled. “Yeah, I just ... I don’t know.”
“I don’t, either.” Sinead rose. “I’m tired. Let’s call it a night.” She swallowed, her chest getting tight. “In fact, let’s call it altogether. I don’t think I can do this again.”
Adam looked stunned.
“What?”
“We want different things.” Sinead wanted to get out of there as fast she could before breaking down.
“What about the fact that I love you?”
“I love you, too,” said Sinead, choking up. “But sometimes that’s not enough. Trust me.” She picked her purse up off the coffee table. “I really should go.”
Adam was looking at her like she was deranged. “So that’s it? We’re done?”
A lump formed in Sinead’s throat. “Yes.”
“Sinead, this is way, way premature. You’re overreacting.”
“How is it premature? You told me you agree with my ex-husband on the issue that ended my marriage. What are we supposed to do? Pretend you never said that? Obviously, you’re not going to change the way you feel, and neither am I. So what’s the point?”
Adam looked at a loss for words. “I just—I don’t even know what to say.”
“I’ll be in touch about the case.”
“Okay.” He still looked stunned.
Adam walked her to the door. Sinead wished he hadn’t. It would make things so much easier if he wasn’t standing there beside her. The sense of unease was overwhelming.
“Thank your mother again for a great meal,” said Adam awkwardly.
“I will.”
“Good night.”
Sinead walked out into the silent hallway, the sound of the door closing behind her echoing as loud as a sharp clap of thunder.
You have no right to feel sad,
she chided herself.
You pulled the plug
. She chanted it over and over to herself until she got home to her own place, where the mantra changed.
Stupid. Stupid, scared woman, jumping the gun. What have you done? Don’t think about it now. Don’t.
She changed out of her clothes into sweats and made herself a martini. And then she did the only thing she knew how to do right, the one thing on earth she knew she wouldn’t screw up. She worked.
30
“Madonn’, what the
hell were you thinking?”
Anthony’s eyes were bulged out of his head as Adam told him about his breakup with Sinead. They were sitting at the bar at Dante’s after closing time; usually they talked sports, politics, and Stooges. Tonight the talk was personal.
Christ, it had happened so fast it was unreal. One minute he was enjoying the warmth and hospitality of Sinead’s family, the next she was dumping him. Adam hated to admit it, but it probably wasn’t smart to open with the line, “I agree with Chip.”
Adam took a sip of his whiskey, awaiting Anthony’s pronouncement. “That’s it?”
“I think you’re a moron.”
Adam scowled. “Don’t mince words or anything.”
“Seriously, dude, I know you come from bumpkin land, Alberta, but thinking it should be the mom who stays home? That’s kind of fucked-up.” Anthony lit up a cigar. “My brother was a stay-at-home dad for a while.”
“Yeah?” Adam was dubious. “And how did that work out?”
“It didn’t. Drove him wacko.”
“You do realize you’re bolstering my case here, right?”
“Wrong. The reason it didn’t work was because he hadn’t figured out how to reinvent himself when he retired.” Anthony looked thoughtful as he puffed his cigar. “He used to hang out here all the time with the baby. Drove me nuts.”
“Why did he hang out here?”
“Because he’s a pathetic SOB, that’s why.” Anthony narrowed his eyes, sizing Adam up. “You wanna know what your problem is?”
“Sure.” Adam was amused. Anthony loved analyzing people.
“You won’t compromise. Not in work, not in your personal life, nothing.”
Adam was unapologetic. “That’s why I am who I am.”
“
No
, that’s why you lost your girlfriend in three seconds flat.”
“I never said I wouldn’t compromise. She didn’t even give us a chance to talk about it. She just flew out the door. But you know what? I bet that even if I was willing to compromise, she wouldn’t. Part of the problem is that she’s a workaholic. She identifies herself totally with her job, and—”
“Don’t you?”
“That’s different.”
“Why? Because you have a dick?” Anthony threw some scotch down his throat. “Look at it this way: what would happen if you took five years off from your career to watch a kid, and then went back to playing hockey? You think you’d still be at the top of your game? Don’t think so. Same goes for her.”
“I suppose,” Adam grumbled.
“No, I’m right, and you know I’m right. She’s got more to lose if she’s the one who stays home. It sucks, but it’s true. The ladies of the world have a tougher time.”
“We shouldn’t have even been talking about it,” Adam said with a frown. “But I wanted to know what led to her divorce, so . . .”
Adam exhaled between his clenched teeth, hoping for clarity. He felt like a dog chasing its tail. Was he right? Was she right? Were they both wrong? He’d been surprised by how quickly she was willing to just—end things. That’s it. We’re done. To him, it was a sign that her dislike of being vulnerable ran much deeper than she was willing to admit. It also showed how uncompromising she was.
Well, it was better like this, anyway. He could concentrate 100 percent on hockey. It wasn’t like he was the only player who thought that way. Hell, Ty Gallagher had been known as “the warrior monk” throughout most of his career, eschewing a personal life to keep his focus on the game laser-sharp.
“Sinead and I splitting up is probably a godsend,” he told Anthony. “Now I can concentrate on bringing the Cup to New York.”
Anthony was looking at him like he was pathetic. “Jesus, you jocks are pitiful. I remember Mikey trying to convince himself of the same thing when he was on the Blades and Theresa and he were on the outs. It’s just a way to make yourselves feel better about being such losers in the romance department.”
Adam snorted loudly. “Says the guy whose idea of playing sports is tossing a ball of pizza dough back and forth with his sous-chef.”
Anthony thrust his chin out defiantly. “Hey, I know what I know.”
“You know dick, especially when it comes to being a professional athlete.”
“Whatever,” Anthony said dismissively. “I still think you’re a moron for not insisting you guys talk it out.”
“Like I said, we shouldn’t have been talking about it at all. It’s not like we were planning to get married or anything like that.”
Anthony raised an eyebrow. “No? Is that why you met her family? Because the relationship was casual?”
“Get off my case, okay?” Adam was getting irritated. He shouldn’t have brought this to Anthony to discuss. He should have gone straight to Ray—who probably would have told him the same thing:
You’re an asshole, Adam.
“Hey, you’re the one who came to me, not vice versa.”
“Yup. You’re right.” Adam drained his scotch glass. “I should run. It’s late. I have practice tomorrow.”

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