Friend and Foe: When to Cooperate, When to Compete, and How to Succeed at Both (25 page)

This book would not have existed without my brother, Michael, and my partner, Jennifer Olayon. Michael pushed and cajoled and challenged me at a time when I really needed it. He is a brilliant creative artist and documentary filmmaker and he brought his cinematic wisdom to help edit the book throughout the first draft. Jenn provided the love and support that I needed to climb this literary mountain without withering along the way. She offered key insights from her work programming diversity conferences and always pushed us to ensure that inclusive perspectives were represented in the book. She provided unimagined levels of emotional sustenance. This achievement is as much hers as it is my own.

There are many mentors, colleagues, and students that I want to thank for having shaped my thinking and for motivating me to write this book. My supportive mentors: Jeanne Brett, Galen Bodenhausen, Joel Cooper, Deb Gruenfeld, Richard Hackman, Daniel Kahneman, Marcia Johnson, Erin Lehman, Vicki Medvec, Dale Miller, Keith Murnighan, Gordon Moskowitz, Jeff Stone, and Leigh Thompson. My inspiring colleagues: Hajo Adam, Cameron Anderson, Evan Apfelbaum, Daniel Ames, Alia Crum, Tina Diekmann, Nate Fast, Nir Halevy, Hal Hershfield, Jacob Hirsh, Ena Inesi, Sheena Iyengar, Sonia Kang, Aaron Kay, Gavin Kilduff, Brayden King, Laura Kray, Sei Jin Ko, Joris Lammers, Geoffrey Leonardelli, Joe Magee, Benoit Monin, Will Maddux, Malia Mason, Michael Morris, Keith Murnighan, Thomas Mussweiler, Loran Nordgren, Willie Ocasio, Gerardo Okhuysen, Kathy Phillips, Richard Ronay, Derek Rucker, Garriy Shteynberg, Pam Smith, Harris Sondak, Roderick Swaab, Ithai Stern, Brian Uzzi, Adam Waytz, and Judith White. My stimulating students that I have been lucky to work with: Eric Anicich, Jiyin Cao, Ashli Carter, Eileen Chou, David Dubois, Brian Gunia, Erika Hall, Dennis Hsu, Li Huang, Sunny Kim, Gillian Ku, Alice Lee, Katie Liljenquist, Jackson Lu, Brian Lucas, Ashley Martin, Rachel Ruttan, Niro Sivanathan, Andy Todd, Jennifer Whitson, Cynthia Wang, Andy Yap, and Chenbo Zhong.

I also want to offer my gratitude to Maurice. When we started on this journey, I thought I was a good writer. Maurice was and is better. But rather than see Maurice as a writing foe, I saw him as a role model and strove to achieve his level of ease and precision. He was the perfect companion on our writing adventure.

My thinking for this book has been shaped by many people. I want to thank my mentors, my colleagues, and my friends. These include Krishnan Anand, Dan Ariely, Max Bazerman, Brad Bitterly, Alison Brooks, Daylian Cain, Colin Camerer, Jennifer Dunn, Francesca Gino, Michael Haselhuhn, Chip Heath, Jack Hershey, Jessica Kennedy, Bruce Kothmann, Howard Kunreuther, Emma Levine, Roy Lewicki, Robert Lount, Cade Massey, Peter McGraw, Katherine Milkman, Julia Minson, Simone Moran, Keith Murnighan, Michael Norton, Lisa Ordonez, Graham Overton, Devin Pope, Todd Rodgers, Naomi Rothman, Nicole Ruedy, Joe Simmons, Uri Simonsohn, Kristin Smith-Crowe, Steve Ulene, Danielle Warren, Sam Wojnilower, and Jeremy Yip.

And I want to thank my daughters, Avital, Danielle, Lindsey, and Tessa, and the center of my world, my wife, Michelle. They allowed me to retreat to my laptop on vacations, on the weekends, and late into the night. They have taught me what friendship means and what balance is, and they inspired me to get this done!

Finally, I thank Adam. When I ran into Adam years ago at a conference, I told him I was going to write a book. I began to describe the book, and he told me not to write that book, but instead that we should write a book together. He added that the book we coauthored would be better. And so we began our journey as friends and foes, and I have learned tremendously from Adam along the way. This book is nothing like the one I might have written years ago. It is, as Adam knew it would be, much better.

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