Forever (2 page)

Lena lost herself in the essence of Devin Owen. He’d left a string of heartbreaks behind him before the war. The girls, who had been so much older than she at the time, had called him a force of nature. She could see why he warranted such a description. If she didn’t take care, she’d be swept away in the torrent of him. His kiss consumed her, taking over her senses. Nothing existed but Devin.

She’d saved herself, knowing she belonged to him. Suddenly, all she wanted to do was to lose her virginity. Yes, sex was a great idea. They’d make love and then he’d never be able to doubt who she was to him.

Devin broke their embrace. He pushed her off him before storming to the other side of the room.

“Don’t expect touch from me again.” He shook his head, his brown eyes haunted. “Whatever you’re thinking, I’m not good for you.”

“But of course you are.” Lena didn’t have much to feel optimistic about in life, but this man—this mate of hers—she’d held onto the thought of him for so long there was no way she was going to let it go without a fight. He just had to realize what they were to each other.

“You don’t know anything about me. Go find a boy your own age to play with. I’m bad company.”

“You’re my mate, Devin. I’ve known it since the first time I was in your company when I was seven years old.”

Devin gripped the side of the table he stood next to like she’d struck him. “No.”

“No?” She hadn’t expected the pain of rejection. She’d known he might not believe her at first. Tears she refused to shed clogged her throat. “It’s not ‘no.’ I’m your mate.”

Lena knew she wasn’t an ideal female. Her skin frequently broke out in horrible bouts of acne, although she appeared pretty clear at the moment. Her chin jutted out too far, her hands were not dainty, and when she shifted, her Wolf form frequently had trouble coming to a stop at high speeds. More than once she’d collided into trees, bushes, and other Wolves.

But she knew she was a nice person. She could work hard, and she never asked anyone for anything but common decency. She’d be a good mate to him, and he shouldn’t be rejecting her outright.

Unless he found her absolutely repulsive…

“You’ve made a mistake. Whatever you thought you smelled when you were a child was the wild fantasy of a young girl. You should be over it by now.”

She sighed. “Devin, I can still smell it. I promise when you get to know me, you’ll find out I’m not wildly fanciful. I live in the real world.”

“I can’t smell it on you. Not at all. I’m sorry, Lena. You seem like a nice kid, but if you can really smell mating from me, then it’s one of those rare occasions where one Wolf feels something the other doesn’t.”

Lena had heard about those situations. It was every young Wolf’s deepest fear. Something went askew with the chemistry. One Wolf felt mated and the other one didn’t. They could even mate with someone else.

“I think you should go home and work on getting over whatever this is because, at least for my part, it is not a mating.”

Lena’s heart threatened to explode. She turned on her heel. What else was there to say, really? He’d said no. He didn’t feel it. She’d waited fifteen years for him to come home, and it had been for nothing.

She kept her head upright until she reached her bedroom. Even in her own house, she couldn’t cry. It would upset her parents, and Mom had enough of a burden with Dad’s Decline. There was no money. There never would be again. She couldn’t finish school. Her sisters had all gone off to live their lives. There would be no mating.

Lena would be alone for the rest of her life, and there wasn’t anything she could do about it.

She closed the door and sank to the floor. Her sobs were silent. If her parents could smell her agony, they left her alone.

Just like she would be. Forever.

S
o what if
he watched Lena incessantly? It didn’t mean jack shit. Devin sat in his room and stared at her through the window. She never looked at his house, and he couldn’t blame her. Two weeks before, he’d absolutely humiliated her. Nothing about how he’d handled her confession had been appropriate. She was a young, unmated female. Even having been hung from his arms for five years in a Dragon prison didn’t excuse his bad behavior.

He leaned forward, rubbing his now-smooth face. The day before he’d finally given in and shaved. He had no idea why and no time or interest in self-analyzing himself. More than anything, he wanted his ability to shift to return. He could heal his leg and get off the pills if only he could call his Wolf again. So far, nothing he tried helped.

Lena seemed to be working all the time. That morning she’d left the house at six dressed in a business suit. He’d been up early enough to see her because sleep proved elusive since he stopped doping himself up. Werewolves were not supposed to subsist on pharmaceuticals, not for long periods of time. He might be half out of his mind these days, but living a drug-fueled existence wasn’t life.

Lena had come home two hours before and now she was going back out dressed in some kind of food-service uniform. As far as he could tell, she did this every single day. The woman would run herself down in no time if she kept up the pace.

He sighed and pushed his chair backward. Guilt made him feel this way. Had to be. There was no other explanation. The fact he couldn’t stop thinking about the image of Lena sucking on his cock until he came in her mouth didn’t mean anything more than she was hot as hell. Maybe it was a good sign— his libido coming back online had to mean he had started to heal.

Devin stood up. His parents ate their dinner downstairs. They’d invited him to join them and he’d declined. He still had no appetite and he didn’t like his mother’s worried glances.

Before she’d gone over the deep end and insisted they were mates, little Lena had been asking him if he could fix things. He could. There was almost nothing Devin couldn’t make better except, apparently, himself. Assuming his father still had his tools, he could fix things around Lena’s house. Improving her house would be a good apology.

It took him a few minutes to grab all of his stuff, but then he was off. It felt good and right to have a task ahead of him again. For five years, his only task had been to survive. He pulled open the door to the Knox household. It squeaked. Oiling the door—maybe even replacing the hinges—shouldn’t prove too much of a problem.

Hours later—after he’d discovered he had to take the whole damn door apart—he’d changed his mind. Lena’s mother had come out and given him a cookie like he was ten years old. It hadn’t been a particularly good cookie, but he’d thanked her.

As far as he could tell, the whole house was crumbling to the ground, piece by piece. It would take him months, maybe years, to fix it. No matter how much guilt he harbored for hurting Lena, rebuilding her house from the ground up would be too much of an apology.

The door swung open, and Lena dragged herself into the front room of her house. He stared at her. Her movements screamed exhaustion, but she still managed to growl when she saw him. Yeah, she might be tired, but she was a pissed-off Wolf.

“What are you doing here?”

He smiled at her and hoped he didn’t look crazy. The scars on his cheeks were not endearing. “Well, about an hour ago I fixed your front door. Then I took care of the swing.”

“Thank you.” She set her purse down on the table and it swayed. He’d have to put the furniture on the list. “Why?”

“Because you asked me if I could fix things and the answer was ‘yes.’”

“That’s not a reason.” She sighed and walked to the refrigerator. “I need you to leave. I have to make my cakes to sell tomorrow morning at the flea market.”

“You’ve worked two jobs today. Now you’re making something to sell tomorrow morning? When do you stop?”

She growled again. “ None of your business. This house is none of your business. You’ve been perfectly clear. I’m not your mate.”

“No, but you’re my neighbor.”

She walked into the kitchen, and he followed, staring at her legs as she moved around the room collecting the things she would need. Even in her tan uniform pants, there was no mistaking the shape of her legs or the firmness of her ass. He wanted to squeeze it.

“Could you do me a favor?”

He stood up. “I kind of thought I was.”

“This is a different kind of favor.”

“Okay.”

She turned to look at him, her violet eyes catching and holding his gaze. He never wanted to look away.

“Okay, you’ll do it?”

He laughed, and the sound startled him. For a second, he wanted to retreat back to his house just to catch his bearings again. When was the last time he’d laughed?

Devin forced himself back into the moment. “I don’t know what you want yet.

How can I agree or disagree?”

“You said okay.”

He wanted to wring her neck. Well, maybe not wring it…maybe lick it all over.

“I meant okay, I would listen to what the different kind of favor you wanted was.” “Would you perhaps consider fucking me?”

Devin had never been stunned into silence before, but she succeeded. It wasn’t the phrasing leaving him speechless, although hearing those words come out of little Lena’s mouth did stagger him a bit. No, it was the damn images her request evoked.

By the gods sustaining them, he could see it now. He would bend her over the table and…. “Are you out of your mind?”

“No.” She shook her head. “I don’t think so. Do I smell crazy to you?”

He rolled his eyes. “Are you always so literal?”

“Here’s the thing.” She’d clearly chosen to ignore his question. “I’ve believed you to be my mate for all my life—well nearly my entire life.”

“Yes, you said.” And the feeling in his stomach when she repeated the sentiment was not concern for her feelings or her sanity, but something far more carnal in nature.

“And you say you don’t have the same sense about me. Fine. It really, really sucks. In a million, billion years, I never thought I’d be an unmated female.”

“It’s not the end of the world.” Lots of people didn’t mate. She could still have a husband and little Wolves. She just wouldn’t have the feeling everyone described. He didn’t know it personally, but apparently when
it
happened—it
happened
. “Or maybe you will find your true mate. It’s just not me.”

“No, you’re my mate even if I’m not yours.” She put her hands on her hips. “Look, am I so disgusting you don’t think you can get it up long enough to stick your cock in me?”

Devin jumped back like she’d struck him. “Lena, language.”

“Why do you care how I speak? I’m not your problem. Here’s the truth: I spent fifteen years waiting for you. Because I thought I was mated, I never had sex with anyone else.”

He raised his eyebrows at her announcement. They were Wolves. As a rule, they liked to have intimate relations. A lot. Once they paired, they only had them with their mate. But before then, hell, it was a good old romping time. Especially with every eligible male over eighteen having to go serve in the Dragon wars.

“You’re a virgin?” He couldn’t remember the last time he’d met anyone who hadn’t taken the plunge.

“That’s right. It’s not like I don’t know how to handle my own pleasure. I would fantasize about you all the time and touch myself, but I’ve never done it with anyone else.”

By the gods! “Lena…”

“This is going to be my whole life. The house is crumbling down around me. It will only get worse. My father will finish Declining and go to the woods to stay a Wolf until he dies. Then we will officially have to leave here. I’ll be responsible for my mother. Alone, mateless, and sad.”

Lena’s little speech prompted more questions, but she kept talking.

“So, for once in my life I’d like to get fucked. Can you do it, or should I go find someone else?”

She wasn’t dressed as she’d been the first time he’d spoken to her. Gone were her sexy little clothes, and instead she wore the uniform of a hard working, tough girl. But her violet eyes were the same. They screamed intelligence and fortitude.

He wished he could really revel in her scent. If only his nose would turn back on.

“Would you really go find someone else?”

Lena nodded. “Since I don’t have a mate, in a heartbeat.”

His cock jumped to attention. This was the first real chance at sex since he’d come back from his imprisonment. He knew the sexual part of his anatomy hungered to be used. Apparently, the Dragons hadn’t managed to kill everything , which made him a Werewolf.

“Are you going to get the wrong impression of things? Just because we have sex, or fuck as you so delicately put it, doesn’t change anything between us.”

She waved her hand. “You know what? Forget you. Get out of here. I have cakes to make.”

“Show me.” Devin wasn’t sure when exactly he made the choice to have sex with her. Maybe she’d made it for him. Either way, there was no way in hell he was leaving this house without doing it with Lena.

“How to make a cake? Go home and talk to your mother.”

He smiled as he limped toward her. When he’d first met Lena, he’d thought she was a child, too innocent for him. Now he worried he might actually be too young for her.

“Show me how you touched yourself when you thought about me.”

Color spread through her cheeks and neck. Witnessing the effect his words had her made him hot as hell. “What?”

“You heard me, pretty Wolf. If you want to ‘fuck,’ we’ll ‘fuck.’” He took another step. For the first time in months, he wasn’t worrying about the scars on his cheeks or the leg which wouldn’t heal. All he could see was the terribly beautiful virgin who wanted him.

“Here? In the kitchen?” she whispered. He could have laughed. Now Lena concerned herself with being heard? When she yelled coarse suggestions to him, she hadn’t worried about her mother and father.

Devin touched the side of her face because he had to. “Where’s your bedroom?”

“Not much better. It’s right next to my parents’ room.”

Devin sighed. “Come with me.”

“Where?”

He held out his hand. “To my bedroom. You’re going to fuck the guy next door. There are benefits. One of them is not having to travel very far to do the dirty deed.”

She placed her hand in his. Her fingers were not soft and delicate. By contrast, she had tough fingers. They belonged to a woman who worked hard. He preferred the feeling to a dainty miss. He wasn’t gentle, hadn’t been before he’d gone to war, and wasn’t now after surviving captivity.

They walked in silence, and he wondered if she regretted her brashness. He’d let her off the hook, if she wanted, but he’d be disappointed as all hell if she backed off.

“Are your parents home?”

“Nope.” They went out at night to run the woods. When he’d been a child, they hadn’t run as much as they did now. Perhaps they wanted to forget about his two dead brothers and the one who still fought. Perhaps they wanted to forget about having to deal with him. He wished he could do the same.

His leg didn’t usually let him move as fast. Perhaps he just needed the right kind of motivation. It still took too long to get to his bedroom. He pushed open the door, and after she’d entered the room, slammed it behind them.

“All right. Do it.” He sat back on the bed as she stared at him. “Show me how you touched yourself.”

She stood very stiff. “Are you trying to be a jerk?”

“No.” He wasn’t certain if his real intent was to watch her get off or to scare her out of doing it. “Change your mind?”

“Not at all.” She took a deep breath and held his gaze. The girl had a stubborn streak. He’d give her credit for hard headedness. She could give some of the Wolves he fought beside a run for their money.

She fiddled with the buttons on her shirt, eventually opening them one by one. Only once did he see her hands shake, but she quickly got them under control. He should have stopped her. An upstanding Wolf would have. But Devin was intrigued, and he hadn’t been in a very long time. The female was going to do it; she was going to masturbate in front of him.

Her bra seemed practical; it appeared to be made out of cotton and was beige. He was fairly certain the day he’d met her she hadn’t been wearing one. But she hadn’t expected tonight, so he wasn’t surprised she wasn’t wearing sexy underwear.

She slipped both bra straps off of her shoulders and unhooked the clasp in the front. Her breasts spilled out. They were slightly more than a handful, which made the fact she’d gone without a bra even more exciting.

Lena took her breasts into her hands. She closed her eyes. “I usually start by imagining it’s your hands doing this.”

He’d asked her to show him, but narration was even better. His cock got instantly harder. Devin had to shift his position on the bed because his erection ached to the point of pain.

“What else?”

She opened her eyes to look at him. “When I picture you, your hair is shorter. I run my hands through it as you start to suck on my breasts.”

“I suppose I’m also not scarred.” He didn’t blame her. No one in their right mind would fantasize about him now.

“I don’t care about the scars. They make you look kind of dangerous.” She gasped and a smile crossed her face. He supposed he should be glad his fantasy self could do such a great job. His hands ached to touch her.

She let one of her hands slide a trail down her body to her flat abdomen.

“Is that my hand or yours?” Devin had become completely devoted to this fantasy. He wanted to participate in it, and yet he stayed glued to the bed like his life depended on it. In his wildest imaginings during his imprisonment, he’d never thought to come back to this.

“Yours.”

He watched, transfixed, as she unzipped her sensible work pants. With a swish of her hips, they pooled to the floor and she stepped out of them. Devin cursed as he leaned back on the bed, his breathing now hard. Lena wasn’t wearing panties.

“Did I forget to tell you I don’t ever wear underwear?”