Fledgling (The Dragonrider Chronicles) (11 page)

All the air rushed out of me as soon
as he shut the door. I deflated. I’d come all this way for nothing. I tried to
tell myself it was for the best. I would probably cause more problems than I’d
solve. Me working around nobles was the perfect recipe for disaster. I could
just see some dainty noble girl screaming in horror when I tried to help her
down out of her carriage.

Felix came out of his room already
dressed and ready to go. He noticed my gloomy appearance right away. “What’s
wrong?”

“I’m not going,” I told him bluntly.
“I’m staying here in the room to babysit
Sile’s
son.”

“What
?!
”
Felix’s expression was pure horror. “That’s what nannies are for! Don’t tell me
he didn’t bring someone to look after his brat? Wait—did you say son?”

 
“He did bring a nanny, but she’s sick. There’s no one else to
watch him. It’s fine, Felix. Don’t make a big show. I offered to stay behind
and do it.” I shook my head, wishing I’d just let
Sile
handle the problem himself.

He stared at me like I was dumber than
he’d originally thought, and rolled his eyes. “You need to learn when to pocket
that conscience of yours, you know. Or at least keep your mouth shut.”

“Yeah, well there’s nothing I can do
about it now. It’s fine—I’ll be fine.” I tried to sound confident. I knew
I could babysit. That wasn’t a problem. This kid couldn’t possibly be worse
than
Emry
and Lin were. “Besides, at least it’s a
boy, right? I’ll just teach him to sword fight or something.”

The suite door opened.
Sile
came back into the room holding the hand of a girl who
looked only a little younger than I was. She was wearing a simple sky blue
dress, and her dark hair was tied into a braid down her back. She had her
father’s dark green eyes, and there were a lot of freckles across her nose and
cheeks. My heart sank to the bottom of my stomach. Suddenly I was having
horrible flashbacks to all the times
Emry
and Lin had
gotten me into huge trouble.

“B-Beck?” I looked at
Sile
for an explanation. Beck sounded like a boy’s name,
but Beck was obviously anything but a boy.

He just smirked like he’d fooled me
good. It was as though he were daring me to withdraw my offer to babysit her.
“Beckah. We call her Beck for short. Is there a problem?”

My mouth was hanging open. I was
totally stunned as I stood there, looking between him and the girl. She still
didn’t say a word. I was shocked, but I wasn’t stupid enough to take back my
offer just because it was a girl instead of a boy. I figured trying something
like that would probably make me look like a hypocrite . . . and
Sile
would just make me do it anyway.

“N-no sir, no problem,” I finally
managed to answer.

Felix snickered. I saw him grinning at
me out of the corner of my eye. Somehow, I got the feeling he’d known Beck was
a girl all along and just didn’t want to ruin the surprise. He wasn’t even
doing a good job of stifling his laughter as he ducked out of the room, giving
me an exaggerated little wave on his way. I guess he thought this was
hilarious. He’d never let me live it down.

thirteen

I
was officially on my own.

 
Felix and
Sile
both left right
after another maid came in with two trunks full of Beckah’s stuff.
Sile
only gave me a few instructions before he rushed out
the door: no leaving the room, no breaking anything, and Beckah had to be in
bed in three hours. Now I was standing before a girl who still didn’t look
convinced that I could be trusted, even though
Sile
had assured her I was harmless. She looked at me warily, like she might run if
I made one wrong move.

I wasn’t sure what to say. She was definitely
older than my sisters, but still younger than I was. I had no idea what girls
her age liked to do. Well, other than torture me occasionally.

           
“Um,
so your name is Beckah?” I asked her. Since I was small for my age, I was just
about looking at her eye-to-eye.

           
She
just blinked and didn’t say anything. I could see traces of
Sile
in her expressions, especially when she frowned at me. He definitely had to
claim her as his child.

           
“I’m
Jae,” I told her.

           
She
was beginning to hedge a few steps closer. I noticed how her eyes were quick,
and darted over me curiously. You could just tell by the way she was examining
me that she was smart, probably a lot smarter than I was.

“Daddy won’t let me go to the party
with him,” she said at last. “He says it’s for adults only, but you were going
to get to go.”

           
“Well,
not really,” I explained. “I was going to have to work. You know, serve food
and open doors. Not exactly much fun. Maybe it’ll be more fun to just stay
here, after all. They left plenty of food in here.”

           
I
saw her smile for a moment, just a little bit. It was like watching a star
shine out from behind a veil of clouds. I knew
Sile
would beat me within an inch of my life for thinking it, but I couldn’t help
but notice that she was really pretty. There was something earthy about the
mixture of her green eyes, dark hair, and the freckles sprinkled over her nose.
Something about her, for whatever reason, reminded me of my mother. Maybe it
was that curious twinkle in her eyes.

“You’re half elf, aren’t you?” she
asked me suddenly.

           
I
felt my heart twist in my chest so hard it hurt. This was the moment I’d been
dreading, because pretty much everyone felt the same way about
halfbreeds
like me. I just nodded and braced myself, fully
expecting her to give me a look of disgust.

           
Suddenly
her smile came back, spreading over her face and making her cheeks get rosy.
“That’s what daddy told me. He said your momma was a gray elf.” She sounded
curious. She started coming closer to me, and I was immediately on red alert. I
stiffened, staring at her uncomfortably as she looked me over from head to toe.
“What was she like? I’ve never met a gray elf before.”

           
“Not
like what you’ve heard, I’m sure.” I was quick to defend my mother’s honor.
“She was the kindest person I’ve ever known. And she could grow anything.”

           
Beckah
was nibbling on her bottom lip as she reached out to touch my hair. I couldn’t
help myself; I flinched away. Her expression was as surprised by my reaction as
I was that she’d actually wanted to touch me. And then, for whatever reason,
she looked sad.

“Okay, then. We’ll just have our own
party here,” she announced. “Since daddy won’t let us join his. What’s for
dessert?”

           
I
wasn’t so sure about this anymore. Beckah was the strangest girl I’d ever met,
which was saying something since I’d grown up with two goblins for sisters. But
Beckah wasn’t like them. She wasn’t mean to me, and she didn’t seem to be
disgusted by me, either. Just like her father, she seemed to think I was
interesting.

           
There
was a big tray of desserts already set up and waiting for us, and she breezed
right past the rest of the food and headed straight for it. I watched her eat
three big bowls of fruit drizzled in chocolate, honey, candied nuts, and
whipped cream. I just nibbled on a peach. I had a good idea what rich food like
that would do to my stomach, and that wasn’t how I wanted to spend the evening.

She kept me distracted, anyway. She
asked dozens of questions about my mother, my father, and the academy. It was a
little strange. I assumed
Sile
would have told her
most of this stuff already, but she seemed really interested to learn anything
she could about dragons and the academy.

           
“Daddy
doesn’t come home much, anymore. He’s busy with training all the time,” she
said with a mouthful of food. “It makes momma really angry. That’s why she said
I had to come, even if daddy doesn’t want me here. She said he doesn’t spend
enough time with me. I wish I could go with him, just once. I’d like to see the
dragons.”

           
“Maybe
he’ll bring you when you’re older.” I couldn’t keep from smiling at her. She
just said whatever crossed her mind. I’d never met anyone like that before.
“What about you? Do you wish he was home more?”

           
She
shrugged and looked down into her third bowl of dessert. “I guess. But even
when he is home, it’s like his mind is far away. He doesn’t really see us. We
just make him frustrated and upset when he’s home. It’s always been like that.
He and momma fight a lot. I don’t think she’s very happy about the new baby.
I’ve heard her crying at night. I think she wishes daddy would just quit being
a dragonrider and come back home.”

           
I
could see the pain on her face, even if she didn’t realize she was showing it.
I knew how she felt. Wanting her dad’s approval, or just a little of his time,
was something I understood completely. “It’s not your fault, Beckah. It’s
nobody’s fault. He’s got a lot to think about. His job is stressful, and
dangerous. I’m sure he loves you.”

           
“Are
you going to be like that, when you’re grown up?” she pointed an accusing gaze
at me suddenly.

           
I
wasn’t sure how to answer that. I just sat there staring at her, and tried to
think of a good reply, with my mouth hanging open. I couldn’t get any sound to
come out.

           
“Don’t
be that way, okay? You’re really nice, I can tell. So don’t be like that. Don’t
forget about everyone else—especially the ones who need you the most.”
She stood up to refill her bowl, and it seemed like she just wanted to get away
from me for a minute. She was upset. I wasn’t very perceptive, and I knew
nothing about girls, but even I could tell she wasn’t happy. Talking about her
family made her upset. She wanted to go to the ball, but not for the same
reason everyone else did. She just wanted to be near
Sile
.

           
“So
what else do the adults do at parties? Other than eat too much dessert?” I gave
her a hopeful smile, and tried to change the subject.

           
Beckah
sighed loudly. “There’s always dancing, and they stand around and gossip about
each other.” She came back to sit on the floor next to me, a little too close
for my comfort. “Sometimes the men fight, but only when they’ve had too much
wine and decide to act stupid.”

           
I
smirked; that reminded me of Felix for some reason. “I don’t know any gossip,
or how to dance.”

           
Her
eyes popped open wide, and she grinned at me like she had a brilliant idea.
Grabbing my wrist, she bounded to her feet and started pulling me toward the
door eagerly. “Come on! I know where we can go and see the real party! I’ll
teach you how to dance.”

           
Suddenly
Sile’s
warning that we should stay in this room was
ringing in my ears. I dug my heels in. “We can’t go out. Your dad said—”

           
“My
daddy just doesn’t want me to bother him. That’s how it always is. But we won’t
get caught. He won’t ever know we’re there. I promise! Please?” She begged, and
puckered her bottom lip out some. “Don’t you want to at least see the party?”

           
Of
course I did. I also didn’t want to imagine what
Sile
would do to me if I broke any rules—especially ones about his daughter. I
started to shake my head.

Then Beckah gave me the best begging
face I’d ever seen. Her big, round green eyes blinked up at me sadly, and I
folded like a wet napkin. I was helpless against that kind of manipulation,
especially when her chin started to tremble.

           
“Fine,
fine. Just a quick look, but then we come straight back.” I surrendered.

           
She
started pulling me toward the door, opening it to lean out and peer left and
right before we went outside. I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach
that this wasn’t going to end well. Even though the hallways were empty, I
could still hear the sounds of laughter and music echoing faintly like whispers
over the marble floors.

           
Beckah
led the way through rooms decorated with expensive rugs and furniture. The
further we went, the louder the music became, although it seemed to be coming
from everywhere. We went through doors, down stairs, up stairs, and I was
beginning to worry we’d never find our way back again. Reaching to grasp her
hand tightly, I reeled myself in closer to her. I couldn’t get my bearings in
this place at all, and if I lost her, I’d never find my way back to our room
alone.

           
“How
do you know where we’re going?” I whispered. We’d come up several narrow
flights of stairs, and I was out of breath.

           
Beckah
stopped on a landing where a single door was hidden in the shadows. She started
opening it, and peeking through the crack. Light spilled in from the other
side, and suddenly the sound of the music was much louder. It seemed to be
coming from below us.

“Haven’t you ever been in an estate
like this before? All rich people’s houses are basically the same, you know.
Big, fancy, and with lots of hidden passages for servants,” she whispered back.
She opened the door just enough for us to slip through, and quickly shut it
again.

A broad open space stretched out
before us. Overhead, the wooden rafters were visible going up into the gloom.
Brilliant golden light bled up through the cracks in the floorboards, shining
from the ballroom below. There were ghostly pieces of furniture standing along the
walls, covered up with white sheets. I started to realize this was a storage
room.

I could hear the music, the sounds of
laughter and conversation, and even smell the food coming from party under our
feet. It filled me with excitement, even if I was still worried about being
caught up here. Neither one of us could resist the urge to squat down and peer
through one of the cracks.

The ballroom was massive, sparkling
with the light from big crystal chandeliers, and filled with beautiful people
that stood around talking, drinking wine, or were twirling on the dance floor.
There were officers with all kinds of uniforms. Ladies wore fancy ball gowns
encrusted with jewels, and white gloves up to their elbows. I saw the other
fledgling dragonriders carrying silver platters with wine glasses on them.

“Look, there’s daddy!” Beckah
whispered, pointing toward a corner where there was a large group of
high-ranking dragonriders gathered. They were laughing and drinking, probably
telling war stories.

For some reason, seeing everyone like
that made me sad. I sat back on my knees and sighed. I couldn’t help but wonder
if this was as close as I’d ever get to a party like that. Granted, this was a
lot closer than I’d ever been before. But was I really just kidding myself? Did
I really have a place with people like that?

“Jae?” Beckah was looking at me with
an unhappy quirk to her mouth. “I’m sorry you got stuck with me, instead of
going to the party.”

It wasn’t hard to smile at her. “No,
it’s not that. I just always end up wondering how I’ll ever fit in with people
like that. It was . . . kind of a fluke that I even ended up being a
dragonrider at all.”

“Well, do you like it?” she asked me
frankly.
 

“Like what?”

“Being a dragonrider?” she asked
again.

I nodded. Just thinking about it made
my heart beat faster. “Yeah. I love it.”

She shrugged a little. “Then nothing
else matters. Who cares about fitting in with them? If it’s something you
really care about, then it shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks.”

She sat back on her heels right across
from me, looking me up and down with her intelligent green eyes. She was pretty
sharp, for a kid. I had to give her credit for that. She really was a lot
smarter than me, which was kind of scary.