Disarranged (8 page)

"Ugh, who has that kind of time?" I roll my eyes. "I have a degree to earn and a school to graduate and a famous bakery to open."

Grace laughs. "Speaking of bakeries, there's some really cute ones in the village. Ferdinand's shoot is there tomorrow night. You should come along!"

I could use a break from seeing Lee and Kiera, and the constant pressure that whole complicated web is putting on me. I smile.

"Sounds great."

Grace leans her head back, and lets out a breath. "Some guy told me about this place. He must work here, or something. I asked him if there was an extra charge for using it, but he said no. Kinda odd."

"A guy? What guy?"

"Blonde, beefy, spikes his hair up," Grace says.

"That sounds like Felix."

"Felix?"

"The beginner's course ski instructor. He's new. Apparently he's a friend of Kiera's dad's."

This makes Grace narrow her eyes to tiny slits. "Is that so?"

There's a long silence, and finally Grace looks away from me, to the low-dipping, pale sun on the horizon.

"I'm sorry about all the stress with Lee," She says. "I didn't know he'd be here, otherwise I wouldn't have invited you."

"It's okay, really. Not your fault."

"I feel like it is," She sighs. "He likes you a lot. You like him a lot. Now that he's engaged to that bitch, that only shows more."

I feel my face heat, but it has nothing to do with the temperature of the hot tub.

"He might like me, but he's got a duty to Kiera," I say slowly.

"Why? Just because he agreed to marry her?" Grace scoffs.

"He also has a history with her. And he needs to see it through, or work it out. He just needs to figure it out," I say. "Whatever's between them is between them."

"Hate to break it to you, but her and Lee have kind of involved you. Or she has, but Lee's just as guilty. He shouldn't have let her get to you in the first place."

"It's no one's fault, Grace."

"How can you say that? After how much you've been through?"

"He had his reasons for choosing her," I say.

"Yeah, and his reason is he's a fucking idiot." Grace snarls.

"But he's your fucking idiot."

"And yours," She corrects. I shake my head and smile.

"Not anymore."

There's another poignant pause. The sun is even lower now, and a raven flies from a distant pine tree, soaring over the sky.

"I worry about you, sometimes. Be careful," Grace says.

"I will."

She turns her soulful eyes to me, a soft warmth in them. "Promise?"

I squeeze her hand under the water. 

"Promise."

***

LEE

***

I haven't told anyone.

Kiera knows, of course. Maybe that prick Felix knows because she told him, and Farlon definitely knows. Kiera's dad probably doesn't. Two people in the world know for sure and one might know.

They know why I agreed to marry Kiera.

They know how much money came of it for me, but not really for me. Most of it went to Rose's school grant. The other half went to Farlon to pay off his stupid gambling debts so the loan sharks wouldn't kill him. Kiera tied the package up in a neat bow by buying Rose's grandpa's house.

Four people in the world know I agreed to be Kiera's finance for money. Myself included. I have to live with that knowledge every day, and the burning regret has left its mark. The regret has shown me how stupid I was, thinking I could solve everything and protect Rose just by agreeing to marry Kiera. I only dove further into her convoluted web of lies and secrecy. I only gave her more power to hurt Rose, not less.

Grandfather would think I'm a moron. He was the father to me and Grace that Farlon never was. He was the one who showed us how to ride the purebred show horses our family farm was breeding - Farlon never stepped foot in the ring, let alone the stable. Grandfather showed us how to care for horses, how to treat them well, and in turn, how to be truly kind to living things. Judging by the way Rose's eyes grow hurt when she sees me, I probably didn't learn that last lesson so well.

Grandfather would call me an idiot for what I've done. I took the coward's way out. But how could I fight against someone as powerful as Kiera? Her influence in the upper echelons guarantees she can get anything done, at any time, for any price. And what she wants is me. She's the definition of the ex-girlfriend from hell, and pretty soon she'll be the wife from hell.

Grace doesn't know why I married Kiera, and though it may make her hate me, I'm not going to tell her if I can help it. The less she knows, the better. Kiera is already targeting Rose - I can't afford for her to target Grace, too. I know Grace would be able to take care of herself, but it's more a matter of principle. Grace isn't the type to even let me protect her, less so now that she hates me for, in her eyes, ditching Rose. And if Grace ever knew, if I ever told her, she'd try to help me fight Kiera. And that would only make Kiera target her. I have no choice but to fight this on my own.

I sigh and stretch my arms. They're sore from skiing. It's been so long since I've swam - part of Kiera's agreement was I stop going to UCLA, so I pulled out. I miss the water. Out here it's all snow and trees, landlocked with no sign of the ocean on the horizon. The lobby is bustling with last-minute skiers heading out to the powder. I see Felix leading another group of beginners and I glare at him as he walks past. He might fool everyone else, but I know he's no good. He flashes me a smile and waves.

"Hey, Lee!"

His class is looking my way, but I won't let that persuade me into pretending to be his friend. I get up from the lobby couch and walk out of the entrance. The parking lot is laden with a thin layer of crisp, fresh new snow on all the cars.

And that's when I see it.

At first I think I made it up in my head, but then it comes around again - a black SUV, with a very familiar license plate.

Farlon's car.

I blink, rub my eyes, but it's still there, driving around the lot before pulling into a spot next to a red Camaro. Half of me wants to make sure it's him, the other half yells at me to stop caring. So what if he's here? He's not my father anymore - he's just a guy who used me to clear off his debts and save his own skin.

I watch the SUV for a moment longer. Farlon gets out. He looks old as ever - hair graying even more and his face lined with sour, repressed bitterness. We lock eyes from across the parking lot, but I don't bother giving him the pleasure of a staring contest. He's not worth my time. I let him know that by scoffing and turning back into the lodge.

Just as I head back to the room, I feel a vice grip on my arm. I turn to see Grace, frowning and glaring, with her hand on my arm.

"He's here," she says.

"I know. I just saw him. But how do you -"

"He texted me." She holds up her phone. "Why would he even be here?"

"I don't know," I say, relishing the first real conversation we've shared in a while. The one at dinner with Rose didn't count - she was just putting on a pleasant show for Rose's sake. But now she's showing her real self to me, the self that hates my guts but tolerates me because I'm still family.

"This stinks of some kind of plan," She growls. "He never goes anywhere without an intent to mess things up."

I bite my tongue. Grace is sharp. Kiera and Farlon were the masterminds behind the marrying thing. They coordinated everything. If they are working together now, what could they possibly want?

"I'll ask Kiera," I murmur.

"What?" Grace snaps. "Ask her about what? Why Farlon's here? Why would she know? She doesn’t even know him all that well."

Shit. I shrug and try to play it cool.

"It's fine, don't worry about it."

"It's not fine, Lee! You know something and you aren't telling me! I'm part of this family too!"

"I know you are, Grace, but I promise there's nothing -"

"Goddamnit, Lee!" She stamps her foot. "You're my brother! You're my brother and I care about you! If Farlon's doing something -"

"Just stay out of it," I say softly. "Please."

"I can't! You have to tell me -"

"I don't have to tell you every little thing that's going on in my life, Grace, and you don't have to pretend to care. We aren't twelve anymore."

Her face goes from furious to distraught in less than a second. She looks like I've hit her, hard, her breathing shallow and her eyes more wounded than I've ever seen them. I've done something wrong. I've hurt her, but not as much as Kiera could hurt her. I've hurt her, and now she'll pull away from me. Pull away from Kiera ever getting the chance to hurt her in real, terrible, irreversible ways.

And then I put the acid cherry on top of it all. I make the brutal coup d’état.

I turn and walk away.

I don't ball my fist until I turn the corner and she can't see me anymore. Anger and sadness swirl around just behind my eyes. I focus on the window, the snowscape outside of it, a blanket of white that seems to go on forever. Outside, in the snow, Rose talks animatedly with Felix. Morgan isn't anywhere to be seen.

I feel my fist tighten. Rose flashes a tentative smile at Felix, and something in my chest shrivels up. She used to smile at me like that.

Maybe she never will again.

And then I feel another emotion broil up in me. Something I haven't felt since I saw her outside my apartment building with that other guy when I gave her the invitation.

Jealousy.

It's dark and burning and like nothing I've ever felt before. It's worse than when I saw her with that guy months earlier. It's irrational and it's stupid - I don't even deserve to feel any jealousy over her. I more or less dumped her to marry someone else. What kind of asshole am I?

I watch Rose ski down the hill, smiling the whole way.

I'm the kind of asshole who's still in love with a girl who might never forgive me.

***

ROSE

***

"You're actually pretty good for a sun girl," Felix says as he skis down the hill and comes to a stop beside me.

"Sun girl?" I pant, pulling my scarf down to talk more clearly.

"You know, beach girls. That's the kind of girl that lives in like, California, or Florida. Hawaii. Cuba, and Barbados and stuff."

I sigh and motion to my arm, pale from the winter season. "Do I look like I surf to you?"

"You don't tan either then, huh." He nods, looking impressed. "Good. It's bad for your skin. Plus there's enough of those orange Hollywood bimbos running around."

"Felllixxxx!" The shrill shout comes from the top of another ski hill. Felix and I look up - Kiera, in a bright red, fur-lined ski jacket and tight-fitting ski pants is waving. Felix half-smiles and waves back, then turns and shoots me a grimace.

"Like that one."

"She's not a real Hollywood bimbo," I correct.

"Yeah? The whole way here she kept blabbing about her new tit job."

"They are pretty nice," I laugh.

"Shit knows she can afford them," He sighs. Curiosity nags in the back of my brain.

"How do you know her, anyway?" I ask.

Felix frowns. He waits until Kiera's skied down the hill to look at me and answer properly, in a low, hushed voice.

"Uh, you know. School."

"You went to Stanford?"

He scoffs. "No, not that smart. Or that rich. Or, heck, even that ambitious. You gotta be a mix of a lot of things to go there. And being a mix isn't all that good, sometimes."

"So, high school or middle school, then?"

He nods, almost reluctantly. "Back in Arkansas."

"Arkansas?" I sound incredulous. "Kiera's from there?"

"Yup. Her dad started his firm out there, got a good case, then moved the family to California for her freshman year. It's kinda dumb to talk about now, but I had a huge crush on her in middle school. She was different, then."

I arch a brow. "How so?"

He shrugs. "Poorer, that's for sure. Nicer, I guess. She was still a queen bee, but she cared about people back then, you know? One time she punched a guy for making fun of this girl in a wheelchair. That's when I knew I really liked her."

He sighs, and digs his boot toe into the snow.

"People change though."

I look back at the lodge, and there in the window is someone dark-haired and familiar. He's staring out at the view, or us, I can't tell. Probably not us. Probably not me. I feel my heart sink a little as I nod.

"Yeah. They do."

Felix gathers the rest of the beginner class and we arrange to meet on the Alligator slope tomorrow. Everyone looks nervous, but Felix assures us we're ready. The German couple wring their hands anxiously, and I feel my heart beating fast in anticipation. Morgan hasn't to come class in a while, and that thought makes me calm down to the point of almost-sadness. I miss her dearly. She was a little ray of sunshine in the middle of all this craziness.

After practicing some turns and glides by myself until I feel like I've got a better handle on them, I head inside the lodge, walking down the long hall separating the dress-down area covered in slush and hanging skis and the warm, cozy lobby. It's quiet, and I'm the only one in it. For a second I hear something, a heavy step behind me, but when I look there's only the empty hall. I must've been hallucinating.

But when I start walking I hear it again. I whirl around quickly to catch whoever it is, but there's no one there. Memories from yesterday by the hot tub resurface, and I pick up my pace and nearly sprint down the hall. I push through the lobby doors, and almost run into Felix.

"Whoa there, you okay?" He asks. I look down to see my hands on his chest, and I pull back like I was burned.

"Um, y-yeah, I'm fine. It was nothing! Sorry."

"You got a bit of -" Felix motions to his hair.

"Bit of what?"

He reaches out and pulls a pine needle clump from my hair. He drops it to the ground and sighs.

"Ah, Christ." He wipes his sweater where my hands were. "That guy's gonna kill me for this."

"Guy?" I cock my head.

"Tall, dark hair, chiseled everything. Kiera's fiancé or whatever."