Closing Costs (7 page)

"Over an hour. I came in to check on you and turned off your shower before you drained the building of hot water." He groaned and flopped back onto the pillow. "I'm gonna go. You rest."

"No, no, wait. I'm usually not such a shitty host." Keeping the bed cover more or less wrapped around his waist, he side stepped into the bathroom and shut the door. "I'll make us something to eat. Give me a minute." He shuddered as the cooling water hit his skin.

An hour later, stomachs full from omelets and strong coffee, they sat together on the couch, feet up on the coffee table, in companionable silence. After filling her in on his story, the dead father, abandoned college degree, he stopped and looked up at the ceiling for a minute. "You know, I think I want to go to medical school."

She stared at him. "Wow. Okay."

"I know, kind of a shock, but today was such a buzz…," to his surprise, she laid her head on his shoulder. After a minute, he put his arm around her.

"My late husband was a doctor."

"Oh. Small world. I mean, you know…"

"I know. Full of surprises. That's me." Craig sighed when she snuggled in closer. "I don't have a pretty story, Craig. I'll warn you now."

"Who does?"

She laughed, and when she lifted her face to his, kissing her seemed like the most perfect thing to do, ever.

Chapter Eight

Sara slapped at the alarm clock, but it wouldn't stop crying. She sat, and gasped at the pain that assaulted her every nerve ending.

Holy shit, my hair even hurts.

She looked up at the ceiling and tried to get her bearings. The sound kept going and, in some sick perversion of Pavlov's principle, her breasts suddenly tingled and started to leak. She groaned and rolled onto her stomach remembering that her mom had left the day before after a long six weeks of hovering. Damn if she wouldn't give anything for the woman to be back; just to go pick the kid up now and placate her a while so Sara could sleep.

The mewling progressed to crying. The pillow Sara pulled over her own head did not shut it out. When the sound grew predictably to a full-throated screech of anger Sara heaved herself out of bed and stumbled across the hall, nearly tripping over the boxes still sitting half opened and mostly ignored.

This must be the seventh circle of hell.

Three o'clock that afternoon, convinced she had not a single mothering gene in her entire body, Sara sat on the couch, still in her pajamas, baby puke on one shoulder and the distinct odor of shit in her nose. Katie had cried so long and enthusiastically she'd been reduced to pitiful hiccups interspersed with hoarse yelps. Then had drifted off in spite of herself.

As she'd finally quieted, the doorbell rang, making them both jump. "Shit, shit, shit." Sara placed the baby on a blanket on the couch and prayed to all that was holy for her to stay asleep for a few minutes before opening the door. She burst into tears at the sight of Craig, his crooked, familiar smile the best thing she'd seen in a week. Suzanne lurked behind him, holding a plate of homemade cookies.

Craig hugged her, then pushed her back, his nose wrinkling. "Yeah, I'm here. Go take a shower. You reek of baby."

"Gladly. She's over there. Good luck." Sara escaped to the upstairs of the small Cape Cod she'd purchased. Katie had been so easy for a few weeks, then all colicky hell had broken loose, just in time for her parents to go back to Florida. Sara had never felt more abandoned in her life. She and Katie had sat and cried together for a solid hour that day. And things had devolved from there.

Reinforced but still bone tired after a long hot shower, she emerged to the sound of actual cooing. She tugged on jeans and a t-shirt and peeked around the corner. Craig sat with Katie on his legs, which he had bent up on the couch. They seemed to be communing or something and Sara couldn't help but smile at the sight of Craig's goofy face as he baby-talked his way into the record books. She fired up a pot of coffee, bringing them all a cup, happy to surrender the kid to someone else for a while.

She leaned on the doorway a minute, observed the utter chaos all around, boxes half opened, towels, dishes and clothes strewn all around the small two-story house she'd bought in order to feel more responsible as a mom. Her own mother had offered to help, to organize, but Sara balked, insisting she had a handle on it, unwilling to own up to how helpless she felt.

Not ready to admit defeat, that she really could not handle the new, smelly, complicated realities, tears pressed against her eyes. She blinked them back and handed Craig and Suzanne each a mug. Katie sat still, staring up at him from her vantage point on his thighs. Sara snuggled in next to him. Suzanne sipped her coffee from her spot on a chair across the room. Sara knew something was up between them, but shoved the green-eyed monster down underneath the piles of guilt she hauled around regarding Craig and Jack.

"What are you anyway, the baby whisperer? She's been screaming at the top of her damn lungs since she got up at like, six a.m. today."

"Probably just a fresh set of hands did it." He put an arm around her, kissed her hair. She felt good there with him, but in a way that was somehow altered. She looked at Suzanne.

"I'm happy for you guys." She said, leaning forward to look into Suzanne's eyes.

"Thanks," the woman said, ever the cool cucumber Sara remembered from the time she'd spent as her brother's hot and heavy, just-widowed girlfriend.

The doorbell rang again, making Katie startle and wave her tiny arms around in dismay. Sara left Craig to comfort her, as only he seemed able to do, and answered it. Blake and Rob stood, bottle of red wine and Chinese takeout in hand. Ignoring the part of her that had hoped for a different face at the door, she smiled and let them in. Blake frowned at the sight of Suzanne, but Rob guided him into the kitchen.

"You know, you gotta get over this. Did our recent problem not teach you anything?" Rob popped open boxes, found a few juice glasses. He produced a corkscrew from his pocket and poured four glasses. Blake pulled the greasy containers from bags and rustled around in another box for utensils.

"What? We worked through it. I'm over it."

Before he could blink, Rob grabbed him, held him close, pressed firm lips over Blake's. He sighed and wrapped his arms around the man who'd saved him from himself, years ago.

"There. That's more like it, no?" Rob smiled, his blue eyes twinkling. Blake had never felt better. The fact that the woman who'd broken his young heart sat out there in his own sister's living room, likely on the verge of a relationship with the guy who could possibly be the father of his niece, weird. But no longer under his skin, like it might have been once. Blake shook his head.

"Our soap opera continues." He pushed Rob away, opened all the containers and found paper plates Sara must have bought as a stopgap until she could get unpacked. He watched Rob's broad shoulders, his strong back and had to stop himself from reaching out for more. "I love you." He contented himself with this.

Rob turned. "I know. Now let's go play uncle a while, get it out of our collective systems."

"Already on it." Blake loved holding Katie. Between him and Craig, they formed a two-man front against the afternoons and evenings of colic that had developed in the previous weeks. Content and happy, he plucked Katie off Craig's lap, patted Sara's head and smiled at Suzanne before whisking the baby back to her room.

He took a deep sniff of Katie's head. Closed his eyes as she batted at his face, her perfect face breaking into a grin. "I love you," he whispered.

He turned, observed the tall man leaning in the doorway. "You know," Rob smiled and took Katie from his arms, did a quick efficient diaper change, and laid her in the crib. "You gotta let her work through some of this herself." Blake lingered, watching as she rooted around, settling herself for sleep. His chest constricted at the sight. He couldn't really explain why. Rob put an arm around him, kissed him. "Your sister I mean. Not your niece." Blake sighed and stepped away from his lover.

"Damn Rob. Is there anything I can do right relative to my sister in your eyes?" Anger surged through him. Rob stood, his blue eyes calm.

"Yes. You can." He took Blake's hand and pulled him close again. "Sorry. I'm just over reacting again. Let's go feed everybody."

Blake took one last look at Katie, and followed Rob back to the kitchen.

Sara watched him go, observed the give and take between her brother, his lover, and his former lover. Suddenly so tired she could hardly keep her eyes open, she leaned over on Craig's shoulder. He and Suzanne and Rob chatted, none of which she heard anymore.

A set of arms lifted her. She struggled to wake up, to play hostess. "Shh," a voice whispered. "I've got you."

"Jack?" She put her arms around his neck, leaned into his chest, which rumbled with amusement.

"No, honey, it's Rob. But I can call him if you want me to." She sighed as he laid her in the bed, pulling covers up under her chin.

"No, no, he won't come." She opened her eyes and saw Rob perch on the edge of the bed. Blake came up behind him, put both arms around his neck. She covered her eyes, hiding the inevitable tears. Jack had been scarce while her parents hovered, stopping in twice, only to back away, seemingly intimidated by Katie's small, needy self. Rob ran a hand down her face.

"He will. Let me call him."

"No!" She surprised herself with her vehemence. If he didn't want any part of her life anymore, well, fine. Screw him. She turned over. "Wake me up when she cries or my boobs may explode."

"TMI sister dear." Blake tugged Rob out the room.

Sara drifted off, her dreams a jumble of babies, pain, stress, and Jack.

"This is killing him you know." Rob sighed and leaned back into Blake's embrace as they watched Sara drift off again. "I should call him."

"What did you just say to me about coddling her?" Blake pressed a kiss to Rob's shoulder.

"I'm not coddling her. I'm trying to get her to talk sense. To let Jack in."

"It's a free country. Jack can drive over here and knock on the door just like the rest of us. Jesus, we have a frigging small town cocktail party out there already."

"I know." They stood for a minute. "But he feels shut out. Not needed. Although we can probably thank ourselves for that."

"What are you, Jack's therapist?"

Rob sighed. "No Blake. Don't be a dick."

"Sorry."

"You can't do this for her you know." Rob disentangled himself.

Blake stuck his hands in his pockets "I'm not. I'm just helping her. I'm allowed."

"I know. But, she is keeping Jack at arm's length and he is completely intimidated by the baby. Feels inadequate and helpless. And he's busy now, trying to manage the whole company. He's used to being needed. So he's channeling it into work."

"He is free to come over here anytime."

The doorbell rang. Rob chuckled. "And like that, he is summoned."

Sara mumbled and turned over. Blake pulled the blanket up under her chin, kissed her cheek. The sound of Jack's deep voice cut short as they closed the door to Sara's room.

By the time they wandered back into the living room, Jack had settled into one of the large chairs draped with cloth diapers. The tension that might normally have presented itself in a room containing two men who had once loved the same woman seemed blessedly absent. "Thanks for coming Jack," Blake took a seat opposite him. Rob shot him an odd look.

The tall man looked aggravated but nodded. "Sure. What's up?"

"I wanted us to talk about how we are going to handle Sara from here."

Suzanne shifted a little. Craig draped an arm around her shoulders. Blake stared at Jack a minute but the room stayed quiet.

"She wants to go back to work in a few weeks but I don't think Katie should go to a group daycare. So," He spread his hands apart.

"So what exactly are you proposing?" Rob's voice was tight. Blake didn't look at him.

"I was wondering if we could convince her to hire a nannie or something. She won't listen to just me."

"Blake, it's Sara's baby. She has made that infinitely clear to the rest of us. What part of it are you not getting?" Jack kept his voice light.

"I know but…"

Rob stood and walked out of the room, the anger trailing in his wake palpable. Blake shut his eyes a minute, then opened them. "I promised her I'd help with this. So this is me, helping, okay?"

Suzanne leaned forward and put a hand on his knee. He flinched, but she kept it there. "Blake, honey, I know you want to help her, but she's got to get through some of this on her own. Your need to smooth things out isn't helping her."

He stood and started pacing the small room. "I'll tell you what then, if you guys all think I'm wrong then forget I said anything."

Jack rose and stood in Blake's path, hands on his shoulders. "I'll help you. I don't want the baby in some germ-infested room with half-trained teenagers in charge."

"Jack!" Suzanne leaned back. "Since when are you an expert on day care?"

He glared at her then turned back at Blake. "But, you have to back off a little bit man. Suzanne is right. Sara has to work her way through this on her own. It's what she wanted, remember?" He glanced at Craig who nodded. "I gotta go." He ran a hand through his hair.

Blake nodded. "Thanks Jack. It's a deal." Rob stood in the kitchen doorway his gaze flat and noncommittal. Blake's heart sped up. He knew this was the right thing. Sara needed his help. He'd promised her he would. He dropped into a chair and watched Jack and Rob shake hands then as Rob turned his back and returned to the kitchen without a another word. The baby monitor at his elbow bleeped. He smiled at the thought of his niece again as he made his way back to her room. Screw Rob. This was his family and he'd handle it how he wanted. He knew he'd drawn a line in the sand by not telling Rob his plan to get Jack on board with the no-daycare thing. He also knew Katie at home with a nannie meant he'd get more time with her.