Chasing Hope (19 page)

I
’m telling you, you should have seen it. That girl was moving like a creature possessed. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it. Well, I take that back. I’ve seen it before—in you. Back when you were going crazy trying to get ready for your first year of college. I thought you were going to push yourself so hard you’d lose your mind in the midst of it.”

Sabrina listened to Nana’s story of Brandy’s training run that morning. Apparently, Nana had watched the entire thing out the window in equal parts amusement and concern.

“When she finally fell over on the sidewalk, I wanted to run out there. It took everything I had to stay inside. But I could see that she was just recovering—as you used to call it—and I thought it might embarrass her to have an old lady hovering over her.”

“Good thinking, Nana. Not to mention, if you let on that you’d seen the entire two-hour session, she might have decided that you were somewhat of a snoop.”

Nana’s eyes widened in angelic innocence. “Who, me? I wasn’t
snooping at all. Went outside to get my paper and saw her disappearing around the corner. Of course, then I looked at my watch and realized it was your usual training time, so I just peeked to see what she would do. After it became apparent she was running like a crazy person, I was just plain curious to see how far she’d push it. I must say, she surprised me with the answer to that one.” Nana shook her head. “I worry about that girl.”

Maybe Sabrina really had dismissed Brandy too quickly. The same way people had dismissed her when she first started having joint problems. “Maybe I—”

The door swung open and Dr. Sorenson entered the room. He looked different than he had that morning. Tired, maybe. The sparkle was missing from his eyes, his smile mostly absent. “Hello, ladies.” He nodded around the room. “I come bearing test results, so . . .” He let his voice fade out, an obvious hint that this was private.

“I’d like Mom and Nana to stay. I tell them everything anyway.”

He nodded. “Of course. Who hears your medical information is entirely up to you.”

Sabrina nodded, her stomach tightening up just a little. Why was he so solemn? This was the same expression she’d seen on her doctors’ faces before they realized she did indeed have arthritis. It was the “according to all our tests there is absolutely nothing wrong and you are such a terrible hypochondriac that it caused a rash to break out on your nose” kind of look.

He looked at Sabrina. “The CT scan confirmed a couple of nodules in your lungs. Have you traveled anywhere in the western United States recently?”

“Yes, over the holidays.”

He shook his head. “I think you picked up a fungal infection that is prevalent in Arizona and certain parts of California known as coccidioidomycosis. The spores are in the air, and if you
breathe them in, you can be infected. It’s sort of like tuberculosis, it usually infects the lungs. Given your immune-suppressed state, of course you were an easy target. In fact, I am more than a little relieved they didn’t find any nodules outside your lungs, but they seem to be contained.”

“What do we do now?” Mom was chewing on her fingernails, her eyes wide and focused.

“Assuming the blood tests confirm my suspicion, we’ll switch her over to a different medication. It’ll likely mean a few more days in the hospital, just until we get it all dialed in. This infection can be very serious if not caught early. It’s a good thing she came in when she did. The nose is one of the first places these types of infection often manifest themselves outwardly, so your rash has been a nice diagnostic tool for us.”

“All things work together for good,” Nana said, nodding her head slowly, “even nose rashes, apparently.”

Dr. Sorenson smiled. “That certainly seems to be true in this case.”

“Thank you, Dr. Sorenson. Thank you so much for ordering those tests.” Mom’s voice was firm, in control.

He nodded toward her. “You were right in pushing for them.”

“All things work together for good.” Nana repeated the words even softer this time. “All things.”

Sabrina was just now beginning to remember how strongly she used to hold to those words. Somehow, over the course of the last few years and all their hardships, that conviction had faded.

Sort of like the Israelites in the wilderness. Maybe it was time to quit looking at her circumstances and start believing God would show her the way to her Promised Land.

Sabrina tried her hardest to focus on her textbook, but there were too many distractions vying for her attention. Brandy’s morning run, earlier conversations with Rita Leyva about Bridges, Koen’s lack of response to her text, and visions of what might be lurking in her lungs filled every available space in her mind, leaving no room for thoughts of anything else.

She looked over at her mom, who was staring silently at the wall. Sabrina knew that she, too, was overwhelmed—more with worry for Sabrina than anything else. Perhaps a distraction would be good for them both. “Shall we put in the next movie?”

Her mother looked over at her. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I think distraction might be a good thing at this point.”

“I know what you mean.” She reached into her bag and removed a DVD, still nodding. “I sure, sure do.” She had just reached up to insert the movie when her hand dropped and she turned her full attention out into the hallway, leaning forward to get a better view. “You know, I’m thinking before we start this, I might run downstairs and get a quick bite of dinner.”

“But I thought—”

Sabrina’s mother was smiling and waving toward the door. “Hello. Please come in, come in.”

A handful of flowers came slowly into view, followed by their owner. Koen smiled nervously toward her, then her mother, then walked on into the room. “Hey.” He looked nervously back toward Sabrina’s mom. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“Not at all. I was just telling Sabrina I was hungry and about to go down for dinner. Have a seat and keep her entertained for me, okay?”

“Sure.”

“I’ll be back in a bit. Call my cell if you need anything.” Mom exited the room with an amazing blast of speed, leaving Sabrina and Koen to look at each other in awkward silence.

“You said it was okay if I stopped by, right?”

“Uh, yes. Yes I did. Please, have a seat.” She motioned toward the chair her mother had just vacated.

He moved toward it, then stopped. “I brought these for you.” He lifted the flowers just slightly.

“They’re beautiful.” Sabrina took them, drew in a deep breath of the rosy fragrance, then set them right beside her on the tray.

Koen looked down at her, taking in her T-shirt and pajama pants, the messy ponytail, and the sparkle slipper socks. “I wanted you to be more laid back, but this seems kind of extreme.”

He smiled and Sabrina burst out laughing. “Yeah, you won.”

“Even without this, it was a foregone conclusion. I didn’t exactly ace the last psych test.”

It felt so good to be near him again. So right. More than anything, Sabrina wanted that part of her life back. Time to use some courage and do what she should have done a long time ago. “I’m really sorry about what happened. You were always nothing but good to me, and I shouldn’t have—”

He put his fingers to her lips. “Not another word. Apology accepted.” He smoothed her hair back from her forehead. “How you doing, really?”

“Fine.” Fact was, she felt all right—there wasn’t any reason to bore him with medical details. Besides that, having him near, things suddenly seemed a lot better. “So, what’s new with you?”

“Not much. The usual.”

She nodded. “Me too.” She looked at his face, and how she longed to touch it. Well, she supposed now was her last chance. “My usual isn’t as much fun as it used to be. I . . . uh . . . miss you.”

He reached over and squeezed her hand. “Maybe we should see what we can do about that.”

“I’d like that.”

“Me too.”

The room grew quiet. Too quiet. Koen shifted and took to examining Sabrina’s IV pump. “This is quite the gadget.”

“Yeah, pretty high tech, I guess.”

He nodded. “Well, I can’t stay long, I promised Jared I’d help man the grill tonight. He’s hosting one of his famous burger busts.”

“Sounds fun.” She tried to seem more upbeat than she felt. Fact was, she was more than certain who else would be at the burger bust. “Hopefully I’ll see you at school sometime later in the week.”

“Looking forward to it.” He stood, gave her hand one last squeeze, and walked from the room. Sabrina watched the door close and the room suddenly felt so much darker and emptier.

“Please come back.” She whispered the words to no one but herself, knowing that she was talking about so much more than just this hospital room.

“Okay, intermission.” Mom ejected the DVD from the back of the TV. “Before we start another one, I say let’s go for a little walk.”

Sabrina looked at the door. Half of her wanted to get out of there and walk around, because in truth she was going a little stir crazy. The other half just felt like lying in bed and, for lack of a better word, wallowing. But she knew her mother well enough to know that she sensed this, and would not rest until she believed Sabrina sufficiently cheered up. “A walk sounds good.” If she put on a good show of happiness, they could keep it short.

“They’ve got a lovely garden patio, not to mention the gift shop has a complete selection of every type of candy known to man.”

“Now, that sounds promising.” A quick trip to the gift shop would satisfy her mother that all was well, and they could come
back soon and maybe get a little treat in the deal. “I’m looking for some gum.”

“All right then, let’s do it.” Her mom put on her perkiest face, the one she reserved for emergency situations. “A girls’ shopping expedition, right here in the hospital.”

They checked with the nurse, then rode the elevator to the main floor. Sabrina knew she looked a mess, but since she was rolling an IV pole alongside her, she supposed it didn’t much matter. She put on her own perky saved-for-emergencies face, determined to convince her mother that all was well in the shortest amount of time possible.

The gift shop was actually a nice little store. There were snacks, trinkets, stuffed animals, and even shirts. Sabrina picked up a hot pink Southern Tennessee General Hospital T-shirt. “This is kind of cute. Who knew hospital fashion was even possible?”

Her mother walked over, the gleam in her eye showing that she was pleased about how this outing was going. “Yes, you’re right. It is cute.”

“Sabrina?”

Sabrina turned at the sound of her name to find Cassie Ardito, one of Lindy Stewart’s friends from school, standing behind her. “Cassie, hi. How are you?”

“I’m thinking I should be asking you that question. Are you a patient here?” Her gaze roamed from Sabrina’s pajama pants to the IV pole at her side.

Sabrina didn’t know Cassie well enough that she wanted to go into details, so she simply said, “Yes. It’s nothing major though, just getting some IV meds for an infection.”

Cassie looked at Sabrina’s nose for just a split second. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“What are you doing here?”

“My mom’s a nurse up on the fourth floor. I’m meeting her for dinner.”

“Sounds good. Well, we’re about to head back upstairs, so nice seeing you.”

“You too.”

Sabrina started toward the door, thankful to have made such an easy escape, when Cassie’s words stopped her. “I heard you got offered an internship at Grace Rose. Congratulations.”

“How did you hear about that?” She couldn’t imagine the answer. Sabrina hadn’t talked about it much, and she was certain Koen and Lindy hadn’t exactly been discussing Sabrina’s professional future.

“My sister-in-law works there as a personal assistant. When she found out they were hiring an intern from Southern Tennessee State, she called and asked me if I knew you.”

“Oh, great. How does she like it there?”

“I think the hours are a little long, but she seems to enjoy it.”

“Good to know. Well, nice seeing you.”

“Get well.”

“Thanks, I plan to.” Sabrina made her way over to her mom. “Ready to go finish the movie?”