Brother to Brother: The Sacred Brotherhood Book I (15 page)

“Any luck and there will be twins or a set of triplets in there to speed things along,” I told her.

“Rough birth with this guy?” she asked tickling Noah and my look must have said it all. She sobered, and cocked her head to the side.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said.

“It’s okay, just really scary is all. He’s perfect, that’s really all I can ask for. Everything turned out okay.”

She nodded, smiling and I smiled bravely back. Noah’s birth had been a nightmare from the moment I’d shown up at the hospital in labor. I didn’t have the heart to scare her or Mandy, although, by all appearances, Mandy seemed to have had a good birthing experience with Eden. She showed no traces of fear about being pregnant and about to do it again.

I was scared to death about becoming pregnant again but I kept resolutely silent about it, shoving that fear down and to the background. I had so much to do, so much to get through before it became an eventuality, that I wouldn’t let that fear rule me; not just yet.

A little more small talk and I followed Dani out to the bright grassy back yard of the club house. To the left, was a big, sheet metal shop building with three bays. The first bay was Dani’s shop, the second appeared to be random storage, and the third? Well that appeared to be Rush’s woodshop. He had the huge bay door rolled up and was running a sander over whatever his latest project was, Nox sitting on a stool nearby, arms crossed over his chest as he talked with his twin. He spied me and Noah first and smiled, though he kept speaking to Rush, giving me a nod.

Rush looked up and turned off his sander, calling out, “Hey Mel! Hey Noah! Whatcha guys up to?”

It struck me in that moment that I knew more about the twins, even, than I did about Archer and the misgivings about readily agreeing to marry their brother began to set in. I marched across the grass with my son in my arms, parting with Dani at the oval tract of road as she headed for her shop.

“Noah wanted to come outside and play,” I said and Rush grinned.

“Pretty soon he’ll have all sorts of fun times out here,” he said patting the plank of wood he was working on. Noah was looking at the rich, red grain, fascinated.

“Oh? What are you building?” I asked.

“With Noah and Eden and so many kids on the way, I figured it was time this club had a swing set for the kids to play on. Figured we could all chip in and go buy one, but what’s the fun in that?”

“You’re building a swing set?” I asked incredulously.

“Eh,” he gave a shrug, “Among other things.” He gave me a smile that I couldn’t help but match with one of my own.

“I see your handiwork isn’t limited to the kids,” I gave a nod in the direction of some wooden lounge chairs around a brick constructed firepit out in the grass.

“Aw, yeah, I been keepin’ myself busy.”

“Seriously Rush, I told you in Arizona and I’m telling you now, you should make a website and sell some of this stuff. It’s incredible.”

Rush smiled and Nox smiled with him, “Maybe someday,” he agreed which was more than I’d ever gotten from him before.

An awkward and uncomfortable silence ensued, no one wanting to really address the elephant in the room. Finally, it was Nox who drew a breath to ask but I stopped him, exhaling sharply and hitching Noah up higher on my hip.

“Don’t ask me, please?” I said and he and Rush exchanged a nervous glance.

“Why?” Nox asked and I knew his meaning and answered him honestly.

“Because it really is the best thing I could do for Noah, and if you start asking I’m going to start questioning and pick it apart… I’ve made up my mind and I don’t want to do that. Let’s just… let’s just not make it any harder than it already is, okay?” Both of them shut their mouths, and nodded almost in unison. “Thanks.”

“Man, I can’t wait for him to be old enough to play Jenga, I’ve been wanting to make a set forever.”

“So what’s stopping you?” I asked.

He thought about it a second, “You know what? Good point. I can always make it a wedding gift, am I right?” I smiled and nodded and Rush smiled back.

“Well, I for one, welcome the opportunity to call you family, Mel. Always thought Grind was a dumbass for not making it official,” Nox said. “Here’s to second chances.”

I knew he meant well, but sometimes Nox just lived up to his namesake inadvertently. He didn’t mean to come off obnoxious, he just did sometimes. Rush was looking at him horrified but I just smiled and took what he said for the compliment he meant it to be, rather than for the painful truths he’d dragged out of the darkness and unleashed into the bright light of day.

“Thank you, Nox. That means a lot,” I said.

He smiled and asked, “You mind if Little Man and I go play?” he asked and Noah smiled and reached for Nox. I relinquished my son into his uncle’s care and Rush said, “As long as you can keep him busy to give Mel a break and let me keep working, it’s all good Brother.”

“Wanna go play?” he asked Noah.

“Yah!”

I watched them go out into the grass and took up Nox’s spot on his stool to watch after him and my boy as they played horsy. I had a feeling with all of the brothers, he would be a rather adept rider in no time.

“I can’t not ask,” Rush said quietly, “you’re sure? You’re really sure?”

I nodded, pressing my lips together, “I’d be lying if I said I weren’t scared, but I’m sure, Rush. It’s the best thing for my son. He needs healthcare, he needs a father, and Archer treats him really well.”

“And what about you, Mel? How do you factor into all of this?”

I smiled a little sadly, eyes fixed on my laughing and squealing child, and answered Rush truthfully, as much as it ached to do it, “I don’t, Rush. I don’t matter at all.”

He snorted harshly, “Bullshit,” he said and sighed, “I think once you crack that thick as fuck shell around my brother, you might be surprised at what Archer has to offer you,” he said. I turned to look at him, his rich, warm brown eyes fixing on mine.

“I hope you’re right,” I said with a faint echo of a smile which I know held a lot of sadness.

He nodded and said, “Just give him time and a little more credit than you feel he deserves. He’s a good guy deep down. I mean, he’s stuck with me and Nox this long, hasn’t he?”

He switched his sander on, effectively drowning out whatever reply I could have made so I didn’t bother. Instead I smiled and waved at Noah, bringing out my phone to take pictures of him and Nox and his epic uncle pony ride. His laughter making my heart lighter and reminding me, solidly, that I had everything to laugh, live, love, and be happy for in one neat little package. Nothing else mattered.

Chapter 20

Archer

“You’ve been movin’ around this place like some kind of ghost since we got back from the club. It’s driving me nuts, so how about you tell me what’s up? You having second thoughts or some shit?”

Melody looked up from where she sat, Indian style in the middle of the bed. It’d been something like two or three days since we’d been at the club and she’d been quieter than usual, which she’d practically been a fuckin’ church mouse to begin with. Her phone forgotten in her hands she opened her mouth to speak, thought better of it, closed it, opened it again only to turn around and shut it again.

To make my point that I wasn’t going anywhere until I got some kind of an answer, I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned a shoulder against the edge of the open doorway. She leaned way over to get a look around me into the living room.

“He’s out cold already,” I assured her and she leaned back slowly, resuming her seated position in the middle of my bed. I’d kept sleeping on the couch, figuring I’d be back in it soon enough once she and I were married, a couple of weeks more didn’t make much difference.

She pinned me with those beautiful blue eyes of her and nervously pushed some of that gorgeous blonde hair of hers behind her ear. Melody damn sure was a beautiful woman. I was lucky on that score. Even luckier that she was a fine mother and homemaker. Still, I was getting tired of her looking so rundown and fuckin’ scared all the time, but I couldn’t fix it if I didn’t know
what
was freaking her out so hard.

“I’m scared,” she admitted finally, and it was a start.

“Of what?” I asked, needing to know which dragon to slay would be an even better starting point, but I could tell by the expression on her face I was gonna have to drag it out of her. I hated that. Why couldn’t women ever be straightforward like most dudes? I ask a question, I expect an answer but if what I suspected were true…

“Of… of you,” she said finally and my suspicions were dead on confirmed. Well, shit.
Now how did I go about fixing that?

“Okay,” I said judiciously. “Why? What am I doing to scare you? Give me some specifics.”

She smoothed her lips together and I realized I was looking forward to seeing if they were as soft as they looked. She swallowed hard, and voice trembling, said, “I don’t know if it’s anything specific…” I snorted and she looked like a deer caught in the fuckin’ headlights.

“Don’t bullshit me, Mel. I promise not to get pissed off, but you gotta tell me, else I can’t work on it, or fix it now can I?”

“No, I suppose not,” she said softly and I had to wait her out. I could see her trying to gather up her thoughts. The slight line that developed between her eyes as she thought furiously how best to say it, was cute on her.

Still, I didn’t have endless patience so I finally sighed and said, “Just gimme the short version, and spill it. I gotta try and get some sleep tonight.”

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to… I don’t know if I can…”

“Fuck me?” I asked, the heat lending a sweet blush of color across her cheeks cluing me in.

“I’ve never done sex without love… You’re attractive, Archer, don’t get me wrong but I’m a woman and feelings… we have to have feelings as a part of it, it’s just how it works, I guess…” she covered her face with her hands, “Oh, god!” She groaned, “I’m saying this all wrong and I don’t want to hurt your feelings but it’s important and I’m so sorry, but I’m really struggling and the girls back in Arizona always said you were rough and that scares me too, and I just am trying to get my head around it and I’m struggling… I’m sorry.” I let her babble and repeat herself and waited her out until she was finished and somewhat beyond that.

I could feel the slight smirk on my lips, a defense mechanism if I were being totally honest, because what she said
did
sting, but I had to be honest with myself, it wasn’t totally unexpected. Finally, she gave me what I wanted, lowering her hands and looking at me.

“First of all, those girls back in AZ? I don’t and didn’t give a fuck about them, so why would I give a shit? They weren’t mine, and I was just in it to get my rocks off, meet a physical need, you get me?”

Again with that adorable little thoughtful frown. Mel nodded slowly, and I was pretty sure she didn’t get what I was saying but I wasn’t too terribly worried about it, because soon enough she would. I was a ‘doer’ by nature. I didn’t really dig sitting around talking about shit, the only reason I was indulging her in it now, was because I thought she was gonna worry herself sick and back out of getting married unless I did something about it.

“Second of all, I hear what you’re saying and the only solution I can see is I need to make you fall in love with me. That’s gonna take some time unfortunately, and I’m probably not going to be able to pull it off by our wedding night, but it’s not like I ain’t gonna have the rest of our lives so I ain’t really worried about it too much.” I gave a one shouldered shrug and watched her mouth drop open, incredulous.

She scoffed, “Archer, you can’t just
make
someone fall in love with you!”

I smiled and I knew it wasn’t exactly friendly, but I had no problem accepting this particular challenge she’d set in front of me. “Oh yeah?” I said, and I nodded thoughtfully, “You just watch me.”

Her mouth dropped open again with a little ‘ah!’ of disbelief and I dropped my hands to my hips asking her, “Is there anything else I should work on while I’m at it?”

“I… I don’t know…” she uttered and I could see I’d caught her completely flatfooted.

I nodded and told her, “You tell me if you think of anything, you hear?”

She nodded dumbly and I could tell her mind was more on what I’d just said. I silently gave myself a strong reminder to thank Rush for cluing me in that there could be trouble down the line. He’d been asking a little too much about Mel the last day or two at the shop and I’d finally told him to spit it the fuck out, which is when he’d come clean about their discussion in his woodshop the day I’d broke the news about us getting hitched to the rest of the club.

I turned to leave the room, her voice stopping me, “Why are you asking me these things?”

I looked back over my shoulder and said, “Because despite what you got in that head of yours, you’re a person, Mel, and the people in my life, especially the ones sharing my roof, matter a great deal. I don’t want to hear about you sayin’ you don’t count again, okay?”

Her eyes turned glassy and I didn’t want to see her fuckin’ cry or get all emotional, so I slipped back out of the room and shut the door tight on her, to give her some privacy and let her get her shit together. I stopped and looked down at Noah who was out cold in his crib, bending to tug his blanket up over him, tucking him in real gentle like. Only about a week and a half or so and he’d be
my
son. Well, not really, it would take several more steps and a metric fuckton of paperwork to call him my son legally, but for all intents and purposes he would be mine… I had a few mixed feelings about that.

I sighed, and bowed my head. “Not trying to erase you, Grind. Just trying to make sure your legacy stays whole,” I murmured, then had to laugh at myself a little. Grind was dead and didn’t give one shit over the other about what happened on this rock anymore. Really it was just me trying to assuage my guilty feelings about lettin’ Grind go. If I hadn’t been a stubborn ass about relocating, if I’d just done it sooner… maybe Grind would still be here.

I sighed out; if it was one thing about the past it was that it was set in stone. The future though? It’d yet to be carved, and I meant for Mel and Noah’s future to be a lot brighter than a single working mom living off government assistance barely able to make ends meet. I wanted to make sure Noah never had a night going hungry for lack of food, and to make sure he had clothes with no holes in them. I wanted to make sure Mel was warm at night, though it would take a lot of work for a woman as clearly damaged as she was to feel what pitiful excuse for love I had to give her.