Back to Reality (27 page)

“After I told you I didn’t want company, what made you decide to come here last night?” I blurted out before I lost my nerve.

“
We argued because I didn’t want you to be alone. The thought of you here by yourself upset or crying eats at me. But after we got off the phone, I thought about it and I understood where you were coming from. Or at least I think I do. You wanted to honor your father by upholding the same tradition that you guys shared before he passed away. I get that.  You wanted to do the same thing you do every year. And that means being alone. I get that. But I just want you to know that you don’t have to be alone to honor him and the traditions you two shared.  I don’t know why—I take that back, I do know why you insist on being by yourself, but I wish you didn’t feel the need to do that.” Taking a swig of water, Ty put his arm on the back of the couch and turned toward me. Looking deeply into my eyes, he whispered, “And I don’t think you want to be alone anymore, but you don’t know how to stop.”

Feeling exposed, as if he read my thoughts or my journal, I asked tentatively,
“What do you mean?”

“
I came here last night because I know you. And you are not the same person you were before I met you. You’re not the same person you were when we dated this summer. You’re not even the same person you were a few months ago. I know you, Sahara. I know you better than you think I do.” His tone was serious, but his small smile was tender.

“Merry Christmas,” he said,
pulling a box from his sweater pocket.

“
You being here was gift enough.” I felt my eyes watering.
This perfect man doesn’t even realize how his being here meant more to me than anything.  He knew me better than I knew myself and showed up for me when I really needed him to,
I thought as the tear slipped down my cheek.

Ty moved closer to me and
wiped the tear away. “Don’t cry. Open your gift.” He placed the box in my hand.

“I want to save it. I wasn’t expecting to see you until the wedding so I had the gift shipped to Emily’s.”

“That’s okay baby girl. I don’t need anything, but to be with you.”

I bit my lip to keep the goofy smile off of my face. Looking away from him, I loo
ked down at the box in my hand.  The shape of the box indicated that it was jewelry. Slowly opening it, I saw the two tickets tucked in the satiny material of the box. Picking up the tickets, I read the tiny print out loud. “This ticket provides you entry into the opening of Angels, Demons, and Savages: Pollock, Ossorio, and Dubuffet.” I covered my mouth as I read the rest in a hushed whisper. “Followed by an exclusive cocktail reception on February 9
th
at The Museum of Modern Art.”

My heart rate accelerated and
I felt dizzy. I had to inhale deeply before I passed out. I closed my eyes tightly and clutched the box to my chest.

“Baby girl?” Ty whispered.
“Look at me.”

As soon as I opened my eyes, the tears fell. Looking at him,
I struggled to breathe. He wiped the tears from my face with his thumbs. His eyes implored me to say something, anything.

So I said the only thing that mattered. “I love you.”

Chapter 28     

             
“How long do you plan to be gone?” Ty joked when he grabbed my bags out of the trunk of his car.

Looking at the amount of luggage, I had to laugh.  Two large suitcases and a carryon did seem a bit excessive.
“Six days is a long time!” I whined playfully as I pushed up the sleeves to my poppy colored Alice + Olivia lace sweatshirt before putting my Burberry sateen trench coat on.

“
Yeah it is a long time,” Ty repeated slowly, almost despondently. He cleared his throat and attempted to smile as he said “But anytime I’m away from you feels like a long time.”  He shifted his tone to flirtatious easily, but I saw right through it.

“
You’re still coming Sunday right?” I asked to confirm. When he nodded, I continued in an attempt to wipe that look from his chocolate colored eyes, “Our trip to Thomasville will be completely different this time around.” I tried to sound unaffected.

“I know,” he said confidently. But his eyes seemed jaded.
I wasn’t sure if it was because of the secret he was keeping from me the last time or the one I was keeping from him.  Either way, I knew he wanted to believe things would be different this time around as much as I did.

We walk
ed into the airport and the frigid air seemed to swallow us.  The line to check my bags wasn’t long and we waited quietly, each of us alone with our thoughts. I was the first to break the silence.  “Thank you for being my date for the wedding.”

“Of course.
Better me than someone else,” Ty said with a forced laugh.

My smile was strained because
I knew what he was thinking. I was thinking the same thing. “You have nothing to worry about. You have me,” I assured him.
God, please don’t let Ty worry too much. Emanuel made his choice and I made mine. And Ty is amazing,
I prayed silently as I stared into Ty’s eyes.

“Like I told you before…
I don’t do jealous. Period.”

“You have nothing to be jealous about
,” I confirmed with a definitive nod of my head before I wrapped my arms around Ty’s neck. Bringing his head down, our lips touched gently at first.  The heat of his kiss warmed my body. His hands went inside my coat and found the small of my back. He pulled me into him, deepening the kiss. The kiss was possessive. And when we parted, I knew what message he was trying to send.
And I heard it loud and clear,
I thought, slightly winded.

“Nothing at all
,” I repeated as I hugged him goodbye. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Call me when you get home,” I demanded. “I won’t be able to kick off the bachelorette festivities if I’m worried about you all afternoon!”

Trailing two fingers down the side of my face, Ty smiled. “It only takes a couple
hours to get back to Richland so you’ll still be in the air when I get home. How about we just both call? Deal?”

“Deal,” I agreed. We shook on it and then we kissed again. Walking backward toward the security gate, I
called out, “I’ll see you on Sunday. We’ll be back from the bachelorette getaway Sunday evening. Emily said we can stay in her guest bedroom, but if you feel more comfortable at the Renaissance Hotel, that’s fine too. I’ll text you the address right now. Just let me know when you get in and I’ll come where ever you are.”

“Okay. Have a safe flight baby girl.”

“Drive safely.”

Within twenty minutes, I was seated in first class without a passenger beside me.
This weekend is a big deal for so many reasons,
I thought as I dug around into my oversized black leather Michael Kors handbag for a pen.  Pulling my journal out, I held it in my lap until takeoff.
Since I am not going to see Dr. Summers today, I might as well spend the flight writing out my feelings about this trip,
I thought as I put in my earbuds and opened the journal to the next available page.

As soon as my pen touched the paper
, everything poured out of me: my thoughts, my concerns, my hopes, my fears, my feelings for Ty, my feelings for Emanuel, my feelings about myself. There were things I wrote that I couldn’t even tell Emily…and I told Emily everything.  There were things I wrote that I’m sure Dr. Summers suspected, but I never verbalized to her.  And there were things I never told Ty or Emanuel who were the only loves of my life. Everything I kept bottled up came out on that flight. I cried silently as I wrote. The flight attendant gave me pitying, sidelong glances as she walked by me. 

By
the time my plane landed, I felt lighter.  I had unloaded a lot of baggage on the sheets of my journal. Page after page of my weepy handwritten tirade of emotions were unburdened. 
I could put my winning smile on my face and entertain Emily’s friends for the next forty-eight hours,
I thought as I grabbed my handbag and my carryon. Walking swiftly, I pulled out my phone to call Ty. It went to voicemail.

“Hey Ty! I was just calling to let you know I just landed. I haven’t checked my messages yet so I don’t know if you left me anything. Give me a call when you get this. I’m heading to baggage claim and—excuse you!—sorry, this woman just
bumped me. After I get my luggage I’m going to Emily’s and when the other girls arrive, we are heading out. Talk to you soon. I love you.” I concluded my message and immediately called my voicemail. The first and only message was from Ty. Smiling at his message and the knowledge that he was safe, I tucked my phone into the back pocket of my skinny jeans. 
Everything will be fine,
I thought as I rode the escalator down to the bottom floor.

As soon as I turned to the corner, I saw the tall beauty in dark denim jeans and a mint green coat.  She stood out because her already
tall frame was accentuated with sexy stiletto heeled boots that I instantly wanted to borrow. She must have felt me staring at her because she turned toward the escalator and screamed my name.

“Sahara!”

I laughed and scurried over to her. She walked as fast as she could, but in those heels, it would’ve been a disaster had she tried to run. As she got closer, I noticed her hair looked meticulously styled and her makeup professionally done.

“Emily! I’ve missed you so much! You look gorgeous!” I burst out as soon as we hugged.

“So do you! Please tell me shopping is on the itinerary! I need to be privy to where you shop my friend!”

“I told you.
Neiman Marcus. I should buy stock because my entire wardrobe budget goes into that store.”

“I see your tastes have grown
since our Beck’s days!” Emily laughed, bumping me with her hip.

Laughing with her, I replied, “Said the woman with the Vera Wang wedding gown!”

Grabbing my bags, we packed up her car and headed to her house.  Emily launched into a number of grievances with the wedding planning process and we discussed the expensiveness of weddings.  I was able to troubleshoot five out of six of her wedding planning issues before we pulled into her driveway.  As expected, everything was easy with Emily. 

“Enough about me. We hav
e all weekend to talk about me!” She looked over her shoulder and winked before opening the door to her house.  “We have about four hours before anyone gets here, so while it’s just us two, tell me everything that’s been going on with you. How’s Ty?’ Emily asked as we lugged my suitcases into her guest bedroom.  Even though Emily loves her brother, she never second guessed or questioned my relationship with Ty.  I knew that she would love it if Emanuel and I ended up together, but she ultimately just wanted to see me happy.

“Ty is good. He is coming in on Sunday sometime.  I’m just glad your wedding happened to be mid-week
. With Jimmy’s becoming increasingly popular, it used to be he wouldn’t miss Saturdays. And then it turned into Fridays and Saturdays. And now that Thursdays are starting to pick up, I don’t know if we’ll be able to do what we’ve been doing.”

“
You mean, him coming up Wednesday evening and leaving Friday morning?”

“Yep,” I sighed. “
I’m at work on Thursdays so it’s not even like I get a full day with him or anything. But it’s nice to come home and him be there.” I looked over at her and she smiled knowingly. “But I knew what I was getting into from the beginning. I knew Jimmy’s was important to him when we met; I knew what it represented to him. That’s part of what attracts me to him. He’s so dedicated to his businesses. He’s such a hard worker. So I mean, what can I do, you know?”

“
You know I know exactly how you feel. We chose men who happen to have jobs that demand a lot of their time. But when I was feeling upset about how little I saw Anthony, I had to think about the effort he put in when I did see him. And once I started looking at quality over quantity, I started to feel a whole lot better about our time spent together.”

Hanging up the last of my outfits, I smiled. “You’re right. You are the best, you know that?”

“Yes, I do!”

“So what do we have pla
nned before everyone gets here?”

“Well there’s something I want to do as a wedding gift for Anthony, but I didn’t have the nerve to do it without you there.”

“Of course. What is it?”

“A boudoir photo shoot. I am never going to be as hot as I am right now. I want to put together a personal flip book for him.”

“Oh cool! But don’t you need an appointment for that?”

Emily bit her thumbnail in mock nervousness, before she said, “I already have the appointment. It’s for 11:30am.”

Laughing, I stood up and grabbed my handbag. “You knew I was going to say yes. Stop with the theatrics!”

The photo shoot took a little longer than anticipated because the photographer thought Emily was the perfect model. Emily posed for photos for her wedding gift for Anthony. But she also posed for fully clothed modeling photos. And then I was encouraged to pose for photos with Emily for keepsakes. We had so much fun that we actually had to rush back to Emily’s house to beat the bridesmaids and hostess
es.

By 5pm, all ten of the women invited to the
bachelorette weekend festivities had arrived.  I met a few of them at Emily’s opening, but most of them I’d never seen before.  I felt out of my element and my kneejerk reaction was to bail on the entire event. But one look at the bridal glow of my best friend and I abandoned the idea. 
I can get through an uncomfortable weekend for the most loyal friend in the entire world
, I told myself as I plastered the smile on my face. 

At 6pm, I
walked out of the guest bedroom with my packed carryon bag.
“Okay ladies!” I called out to the crowded living room. “If you will lift your glasses please…” Once everyone’s glass was in the air, I continued, “This weekend will be the last weekend that my best friend will be a single woman so let’s make sure it is a weekend to remember!”

Catcalls and yells of “cheers!” rang out as glasses clanked. 
“Okay now, if you will get your belongings, our ride is here.”

We loaded onto the black and hot pink party bus. Everyone stored their luggage in the overhead compartments that were above the U shaped sitting area. After passing out drinks, the driver pulled away from Emily’s house.  The buzz of excitement in the air was infectious. Emily wondered where we were going
for the weekend, while everyone giggled and pleaded the fifth.  Everyone, except for Emily, knew where we were going. But only I knew what we were doing once we got there.

When we started to get close, we blindfolded Emily. The b
us pulled to a stop in front of Serenity Resort & Spa. The sprawling estate had a full spa, restaurant, lounge, and endless entertainment opportunities.  Once we had offloaded all of our belongings, the party bus went to park. On the count of three, I removed Emily’s blindfold and we all yelled “surprise!”

“Oh my God! I’ve always wanted to come here!!”
Emily exclaimed excitedly. Jumping up and down, they all hurdled up in a group hug, but I hung back.
I remember a time when I would’ve initiated a group hug with friendly strangers,
I reflected with a short shake of the head.

While the girls all hustled to the front door, Emily turned around and threw her arms around me. “Thank you!”

Giving her a tight squeeze back, I replied, “You’re welcome!”

We all checked in and went to our respective rooms. The plan was to meet
in the lobby by 10pm. With an hour and 15 minutes until meeting time, I decided to sit on the chaise lounge and call Ty. 

“
Well hello,” Ty greeted me.

“
Hey,” I bubbled happily. “How’s work?”

“Things will slow down in a couple of hours. It’s in that chunk of time where the restaurant and the lounge are both open and packed. Hold on for a second, baby girl.
” With the phone away from his mouth, I heard Ty’s voice. “Lily, I’m taking this call in the office and I’m not to be disturbed unless it is a critical emergency.” I heard the door close behind him, before he said, “Hello?”

“Oh I’m sorry. You’re busy. We can talk later,” I apologized, not even thinking about the time.