Alive (16 page)

“Can you play your guitar for me, please? I love listening to you play.”

“Absolutely. Anything for my girl.”

He picks up his guitar and starts strumming a soft hypnotic melody. He closes his eyes and gets lost in the music. He’s beautiful to watch when he’s like this. So vulnerable, so perfect. I lean back on the blanket, and put my hands behind my head, a small smile playing on my lips. I stare up at Adam and watch him do what he is so good at. In this moment, I have never felt more content in my entire life. I want to freeze this moment in time. He slowly stops playing for a moment and whispers in my ear.

“I wrote you a song, can I play it for you?”

The butterflies in my stomach that I am now growing used to start swarming around. The only person who has ever written me a song before was my dad. I feel incredibly lucky right now that I have two people who cared enough about me to write music for me.

“You wrote me a song? Of course I want to hear it.”

I am smiling from ear to ear. I’m pretty sure my face is about to split in two, but I just don’t care. Adam leans over and softly plants a swift kiss on my lips.

“You are so beautiful, Abigail.”

His face suddenly becomes serious, and he softly runs his knuckles down my cheek before picking his guitar back up. He opens his mouth, and the voice that I have grown to love spills from his lips.

From the moment she stepped into my life

I knew she would one day own my soul

She looked up at me with those hazel eyes

And I saw years of sadness and hurt flash by

I want to kiss away the hurt she feels

And wrap her in my arms

Never let the world tear her down

She’s mine for all eternity

If she only knew how my heart cries for her

How my heart skips a beat when she smiles at me

How the world stops moving and time stands still

How I love her more than anything

Does she think I’m crazy for moving so fast?

Does she feel the same way too?

Does she want me the way that I want her?

Oh, Abigail I hope you do

If she only knew how my heart cries for her

How my heart skips a beat when she smiles at me

How the world stops moving and time stands still

How I love her more than anything

Abigail, I love you more than anything

Happy tears are silently pouring down my cheeks. He loves me? What did I do in life to deserve someone like him? I don’t know, but I’m not letting him go. This is the kind of love you fight for, and I’m prepared to fight with everything I have in me. I sit there staring at him, and the longer I stare, the wearier he grows. I am willing myself to move, but my body isn’t cooperating. I snap myself out of the trance he put me in and climb into his lap.

“Oh Adam, I love you too. I love you so much.”

He leans back and looks at me intently, a wistful smile playing on his lips. He stares at me for a few moments longer before leaning back down to claim my mouth. This kiss is different than any kiss we have shared in the past. It’s filled with love, and passion, and understanding. It’s a beautiful feeling when you find that one person in life who completely understands you.

“I want you.” He whispers out, “Right here, right now.”

He gently lays my body down on the blanket and props himself up on his elbows, caging my body in by his arms. I feel safe and protected in his embrace.

“Yes.”

I reach up and caress his check with my hand. He leans his face into the palm of my hand and closes his eyes.

“I want you too. So badly.”

He leans his head down and kisses me on the sensitive spot behind me ear. The feel of his lips on me sends chills up and down my body. I grip the back of his neck and pull him closer to me. I feel like I can’t get him close enough. I run my fingers up the length of his back, loving the way his muscles flex beneath my hands. He bites the lobe of my ear, causing me to dig my fingers into his back, and my hips involuntarily rise up to meet his. He continues to kiss farther down my neck until he reaches the tops of my breasts. A soft moan escapes from my lips.

“God, baby. How is it possible to want someone so much?”

“Please Adam, love me. I need you too,” I whisper out.

“I’ll spend forever loving you, Abigail McCarthy.”

I think my heart just completely melted into a puddle of mush at those few words. I pull at his shirt, and he leans forward and helps me take it off. My eyes fall to the tattoo at his side and a find myself staring at the words trying to figure out what they say. I reach out to run my finger over his tattoo and as I get closer I realize what it is he has tattooed on his side. I would know those lyrics anywhere.

“Abigail, are you OK?” He softly says.

I slowly raise my eyes up to meet his, and stare up at his through my lashes. “I love that song.” I reach out and caress his side, and he stretches out to give me easier access. 

“What song?” He has a confused look on his face, like he’s not quite sure what I am talking about.

I take a deep breath and then I start to hum the melody of the song he has tattooed on his side. It’s the song his dad was singing the night he saved my life. It’s the song I sing whenever I’m scared, or sad. It’s the song that calms me.

He abruptly sits up and gets on his knees before me. “How do you know that song, Abigail?” he quietly says.

“The night of the shooting, your dad and his band were playing at the bar. That’s the song he was singing that night, and it’s the song he sang to me while he was carrying me to my bedroom. I am always singing that song. It’s kind of like my comfort. When I am scared, overwhelmed, happy, sad, I am always humming it.”

I hope he isn’t upset that I do this. I know the man wasn’t my father, but for some reason that song has just stuck with me. I know it’s not my song to sing, but I just can’t help it. He isn’t saying anything, he’s just staring at the willow and he looks lost in thought.

“Stop it.” He firmly says. I look up at him in question. “I can see it all over your face that you think I might be mad or upset with you that you know that song. And I want you to stop thinking any negative thoughts right now.”

He leans over and kissed me on my forehead. My favorite spot to be kissed. “My dad used to sing that song to my mom. He wrote it for her the night of their wedding. It’s a song that represented their love and commitment to one another. We are made for each other, Abigail. It’s like the universe, god, fate, the stars aligned, or whatever you want to call it, but you were made for me. Only me.

We have been connected since we were little kids, but we just didn’t know each other until recently. I’ve been searching my whole life for you. The reason I’ve never dated girls before is because I just didn’t feel any emotion or anything with anyone until I met you. But the moment I laid eyes on you, the moment you looked up at me, I just knew you were the one. You caused my heart to beat faster, but most importantly, you made me smile. Just one look from you and you completely owned me. Maybe our dads are up there in rock n roll heaven, hanging out and having a few beers, and they had a hand in putting us together.”

I smile at our dads hanging out and trying to play matchmaker. I hope they can’t see what I’m about to do.

“It’s almost hard to believe how connected we are. I feel like my life is a movie script. Usually this kind of stuff doesn’t happen in real life. It feels too good to be true.” I let out a small laugh. Adam reaches over and takes me hand, and kisses my knuckles.

“Come here.” He crooks his finger, and I willingly scoot closer to him. He runs his tongue along his bottom lip, leaving a trail of wetness behind. I want to do that. “First of all, you are wearing one too many pieces of clothing.” He slowly starts to unbutton my shirt, dragging his finger lower and lower down my chest. “Secondly, that's because you're letting your head do the feeling." he moves closer, continuing to help me undress. "Here's where the true understanding lies." He moves his hands over my chest, and touches the space near my heart.

He leans down and kissed me and before I know it I’m lost in the world that is Adam. We spend the afternoon making love under that old weeping willow, discovering things about each other we never knew were possible. Right here underneath this willow, is my new favorite spot.

We both lie spent and completely sedated under the beautiful branches of the weeping willow. I look towards the west and the sun is starting to drown in the horizon.  The sky is painted an array of pink, orange and yellow.  As the last traces of light dip behind the branches of the willow, overcasting the trees below in a solemn landscape of shadows, I feel like the world, as well as myself, are at peace. Adam was right, the sunset is truly amazing here.

Chapter 12

After the sun set, we packed up our stuff and make our way back into town. I ask Adam to drop me off at Jessie’s house tonight. I feel like I haven’t spent much time with her lately and I want to catch up and have the comfort of my best friend.

“You will call me if you need anything? I will be here in ten minutes tops. All you have to do is call me.” He grabs my hand and pulls me across the console and into his lap. I place one knee on either side of his hips, and weave my hands behind his head.

“I know you will be. Thank you for the past few days, Adam. I don’t think I could have gotten through them if it wasn’t for you.” I lean down and kiss his lips. This is something I will never grow tired of. The feel of his lips against mine.

“If you don’t get off my lap, Peaches, I am not letting you go inside. I will turn this car around and take you straight to my bedroom. Now that I’ve tasted you, all of you,” he gives me a devilish grin, “I will never have my fill of you.” God, that sounds so hot. As I am having second thoughts of going inside to see Jessie, she bangs her fist on the car window, causing us both to jump.

“If you don’t get off my girl, I will cut you. You’ve had her long enough. I need her now,” she says with a smile. She opens the door and she practically drags me off of Adam.

She pulls me into her arms and hugs me close. I wrap my arms around her and while hugging her, the enormity of my situation hits me like a freight train, and it takes everything I hav
e in me to hold back my tears.

“It’s going to be OK, Abigail. We will go inside, eat cookie dough ice cream until we puke, and watch Some Kind Of Wonderful fifty times.” I smile at her and she quickly swipes a tear that’s trying to escape down my cheek.

“You have no idea how perfect that sounds. I have missed you Jessica Carrot Fartknocker.” She throws her head back and laughs loudly. We both fall into a fit of laughter, and I laugh until my sides hurt.

“God, you haven’t called me that in years. Tell your man goodbye and let’s get inside.”

I turn to tell Adam goodbye, and when I look at him he has a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “I like that you have her. I know you will be taken care of if she’s around. Now go have a fun girl’s night. But one night is all you get. I don’t think I can stand to be away from you any longer than that.” I go to laugh, but I look up at his face and I can tell he’s serious. “I need to know you are safe and protected, and the only way I can know for certain that you are is if you are with me.”

“I’ll be fine here. I love you, Adam. I’ll see you sometime tomorrow.” We hug for a long time, neither one of us wanting to let go. I hear the screen door open and moments later Jessie is standing on her porch with ice cream in her hand and my all-time favorite movie in the other. “I guess that’s my cue to go.”

“Goodnight, Abigail.”

He leans down and softly kisses my forehead, and then gets in his car to leave. He turns the engine over and the car purrs to life. God, I don’t think I’ll ever grow tired of hearing him start his car. He backs out of the drive way and speeds down the road, the roar of the engine getting lost in the cool night air.

“Hot damn, he’s sexy, Abigail, and that car puts him into a whole new level.”

She is fanning her face and speaking dramatically.

“
Back off sister, I already called dibs.”

“It’s obvious he only has eyes for you…Peaches.” She smirks at me while raising her eyebrows. She knows I hate nicknames, but what she doesn’t know yet is that I am quite fond of the one Adam gave me.

“I actually like my new nickname.” I say matter-of-factly.

“Who are you and what have you done to my Abigail?”

She rests her hand on my forehead, pretending to check my temperature. I push her hand away and roll my eyes.

“I’m still the same me. I have just fallen in love with the most perfectly perfect guy. I’ve turned all hearts and flowers and sappy. I never thought this would ever happen to me. I am so happy. For the first time in a long time I finally feel like I belong somewhere, and that somewhere is with Adam. I just hope my tainted past doesn’t come up and bite me in the ass like it always does.”

“You deserve this, Abs. If anyone deserves happiness, it’s you.”