Authors: Andrew Grey
“Can I ask you something? What did your wife think about you riding bulls?” Ryan asked.
“Got to you, didn’t it?” Hy asked.
“Yeah, it did,” Ryan answered honestly, wiping a hand nervously over his brow.
Hy’s expression turned remarkably soft. “She hated it. Said it nearly made her sick with fear.” Hy shifted slightly in his chair. “She told me once that she had nightmares about me getting stomped. When she told me, she was shaking like a leaf. I didn’t ride bulls after that. She was more important, and like I said, I wasn’t that good. But Dante is, and riding them beasts is in his blood.”
“I can tell he loves it. After riding that bull today, his eyes shone and he was so filled with excitement. He reminded me of a five-year-old who’s just seen his birthday cake.” There was no way he could ask Dante to give up riding. But he wasn’t sure how much worrying he could take. A shiver went up Ryan’s spine as he thought about Dante under that huge beast, the fucker’s hooves stomping, breaking bones or…. Ryan closed his eyes and gulped from the bottle again.
“Do you know what Ansen wanted to talk about with Dante?” Hy asked, pulling Ryan out of his thoughts, which centered on Dante being gored or stomped by one of those beasts.
“No. But he and I had an interesting conversation.”
“I bet you did. That man’s probably lecturing Dante on the evils of lying with men and how he needs to mend his ways or he’ll be going straight to hell.” Hy huffed. “He was always a bit preachy for my taste, but his mother and my daughter were close friends, so I tolerate him for her sake.”
“I’m not sure how preachy he’ll be, but I think the conversation I had with him was a bit of an eye-opener for him. We’ll see what Dante says,” Ryan commented as he heard a vehicle pull into the drive. Ryan waited a few minutes, and then Dante practically bounded inside. “Everything okay?” Ryan asked, tilting his head so he could see Dante.
“Good as can be expected, I guess,” Dante answered and then got a beer before flopping on the sofa. “What did you and Ansen talk about? He seemed unusually open-minded.” Hy snorted, and Ryan set his bottle on the table, helping Hy take another drink.
“Not much. Just told him some of the facts of life in a way he might understand. Why?”
“He said he’d put in a word with my sponsor if I thought it would do some good. I doubt it will, but it’s nice to know I have some support.” Dante finished his bottle in a few drinks and got up to get another.
“You do have support,” Ryan said softly, and Dante nodded.
“But if I lose my sponsor, it’s doubtful I’ll be able to get another one, and I wouldn’t be able to ride next year. I can’t afford to pay all the entrance fees on my own.”
A thought crept into the back of Ryan’s mind, one he wasn’t particularly proud of, but it was there. If Dante lost his sponsor, then maybe he wouldn’t be able to compete any longer.
“You could sell the ranch,” Hy said, and Dante glared at him.
“We’ve had this conversation. I’ll stop riding and work the land here with my bare hands before I’ll sell the ranch. This is our history, our home.”
“But what if….”
Dante shifted and knelt near his grandfather’s chair. “Gramps, if you need care, you’ll get it. I don’t know how, but you will. I won’t sell the ranch to pay my entrance fees, but I will sell it for you if I have to.”
Ryan stood up quietly and left the room to give them some privacy, walking through the house to the sliding glass doors that led to the back patio. He stood in front of them and stared outside, watching dark shapes as they slowly moved across the grassland. Part of him, the part he wished would keep quiet, was pleased that Dante might lose his sponsorship. At least Dante wouldn’t be riding bulls and he’d be safe. Ryan hated even thinking that way, but seeing Dante on that bull had really affected him, and without a sponsorship, Dante would return to the ranch, take care of his grandfather, and be safe. Ryan wanted him safe and whole.
Dante would hate that, and Ryan also knew that part of the man he was growing to care for, and maybe… he pushed the word from his mind. It was too early to use the “L” word, way too early. If Dante couldn’t ride, a part of him would die, Ryan knew that, just like he knew if he couldn’t go into the office and feel the rush of landing a new client, or make the right decision that helped a couple plan for and then be able to retire, his life wouldn’t be the same. Or the times he took a leap of faith and listened to his gut and made a killing in the market. Making money for his clients was like winning, and Ryan loved to win. Just like Dante did. Granted, Ryan wasn’t taking his life in his hands to win. He took a deep breath and tried to think positively, but he wasn’t sure what positive meant. Did he hope Dante kept his sponsorship so he could ride next season? Or was being positive hoping that Dante couldn’t ride and was safe and unhurt?
“Gramps went to bed,” Dante said softly from behind him, and Ryan slowly turned around. “Maybe we should do the same thing.” Ryan nodded and let Dante lead him toward the bedroom. “You’ve been quiet,” Dante said as he sat on the side of the bed.
“Just thinking,” Ryan said, pushing his fears aside as best he could before leaning close to kiss Dante, who sizzled like a ball of energy. “What’s gotten into you?” Ryan asked knowingly.
“It’s the riding. It always gets me going,” Dante said, and Ryan pressed him back onto the bed with a hard kiss, forgetting about his concerns, pushing everything from his mind except Dante. His worries and fears didn’t matter right now.
“Let’s get these clothes off,” Ryan said, and Dante’s shoes thunked to the floor. Then Ryan tugged off Dante’s shirt and practically ripped Dante’s pants off in his haste. It seemed he was as revved up as Dante. Ryan backed away, pulling off his shirt and then getting his shoes and socks off. Dante lay back on the bed, stroking himself slowly while Ryan got out of his pants. “You’re really pushing it, aren’t you?” Ryan asked as he watched Dante’s hand slowly move up and down his shaft.
“I’m only waiting for you,” Dante said, stroking a bit faster, eyes half lidded.
“You know that’s for me,” Ryan said in a low growl. “Put your hands up.”
“Officer,” Dante quipped, quick to grip the headboard, “I was only taking care of business.”
Ryan lightly swatted Dante’s hip as his gaze roamed down Dante’s skin. Small bruises were already starting to purple below Dante’s ribs and on his right inner thigh. Those few rides had done that. Ryan lightly traced the marks with his fingers. “You need to be careful,” Ryan murmured, his fear returning. All he kept seeing was Dante hurt and in pain.
“They come with the territory,” Dante whispered. Ryan said nothing, trying to push that from his thoughts as well. Two rides, and Dante had bruises like this. He’d seen him at the end of the season, but since then Dante had healed, and the last time they were together, his cowboy’s skin had been golden brown and perfect.
“I don’t like you hurt,” Ryan said, shaking a little as he leaned down to kiss one of the bruises.
“There, all better,” Dante said. “Now I have something hard and insistent that’s feeling a bit sore.” Dante thrust his hips lightly.
“I can see that,” Ryan said, ignoring Dante’s throbbing cock for the time being and licking a trail to a nipple, trying to bury his trepidation in the musk and sweat from Dante’s skin. Ryan sucked, and Dante hissed softly, thrusting his chest forward for more, but Ryan backed away. He wasn’t really in the mood for games or long, drawn-out foreplay. He needed Dante now and he needed him bad. Ryan reached into the bedside table, where Dante kept the supplies, and dropped them on the bed before slamming the drawer closed, the lamp wobbling slightly. Ryan slicked his fingers and then leaned forward, nearly kissing Dante’s lips off.
Dante lifted his legs, and Ryan sank two fingers deep into him, the tight heat clutching his digits.
“This isn’t going to be pretty, but I fucking need you right now. I need you to scream and let me know you’re all right,” Ryan said. He pulled out his fingers, rolled the condom onto himself, and did his very best not to plunge fast and hard into Dante’s body. He forced himself to take his time because, while he didn’t want to hurt Dante, he needed him too fucking bad to go slowly. Ryan’s legs shook as he knelt between Dante’s legs and entered him.
“Jesus,” Dante cried, and Ryan pressed forward, burying himself in Dante’s viselike heat. Ryan stopped only because he didn’t want to hurt him. Dante did something he’d never done and released the headboard without permission, tugging Ryan down. Their kiss was sloppy and rushed as Ryan pulled away and drove deep into Dante.
“This is going to be fast,” Ryan warned and closed his eyes, pumping hard and deep, like a man possessed.
Dante held him tight, breathing deeply and groaning with each thrust. Skin slapped skin, and each of Ryan’s thrusts reverberated through Dante’s body, coming back to him again.
Ryan pulled out of Dante’s body, afraid he was hurting him. Dante rolled over on the bed, his butt in the air, and Ryan lay on top of him, entering Dante again in a single, deep thrust. Ryan sucked on the skin of Dante’s shoulder as he sank into his lover’s body with complete abandon. Dante’s cries and groans spurred him on. Ryan felt Dante’s body grip him tightly. When Dante arched his back and cried out, Ryan knew he was coming. He could feel the spasms of Dante’s climax ripple through him, and it drove Ryan’s orgasm from deep inside him. Ryan thrust deep and stilled, shaking to beat the band, clenching his eyes closed as he emptied himself.
Ryan caught his breath and did his best not to collapse on Dante. He pulled out and flopped on the mattress next to Dante, tugging off the condom and getting it in the trash before pulling Dante close. “Did I hurt you?” he asked softly.
“God, no,” Dante answered breathlessly. “That was something else.”
“I was afraid I was too enthusiastic,” Ryan said, and Dante chuckled.
“No such thing as far as I’m concerned.” Dante settled in Ryan’s arms. “What brought that on?”
“I guess I needed to know you were okay and….” Ryan couldn’t put into words. “I saw you riding that bull and then the bruises and I needed you. I needed to be with you and know you were okay.” How could he explain that the thought of Dante getting hurt, or worse, scared him half to death and that his fear had come out in the fucking of his life?
“I understand,” Dante said softly as he rested his head on Ryan’s chest. “I hear a lot of the guys talking about how their wives refuse to come to the events because they can’t bear to see them compete.”
“Then why do you do it? Why put your life at risk?” Ryan shifted so he could see Dante’s eyes. “I’m not being derogatory or anything, I really need to know. You could run the ranch full time, expanding it beyond what it is now because you’d have the time. You could turn this place into a thriving business, but you put your life in danger to ride bulls.”
Dante moved away and shifted, sitting on the edge of the bed with his back to Ryan. “I bet if you asked every one of the other bull riders they’d tell you the same thing. We do it because we love it. There’s nothing in the world like sitting on eighteen-hundred pounds of mean muscle and knowing that in the end, you’ll master that beast, at least for a few seconds. There’s no greater rush in the world than that,” Dante said, and Ryan closed his eyes as a touch of hurt he didn’t mean to feel bloomed anyway. “Well, maybe there is a greater rush.” Dante turned and grinned at Ryan. “But I think you know what I mean.”
“Nice save,” Ryan said.
“Are you asking me to give up riding?” Dante asked, but Ryan remained quiet. He wanted to ask him to do just that. To choose something less dangerous, but he also knew he could never do that. If Ryan asked Dante to give up riding, and he did, then someday Dante would resent him. They hadn’t known each other all that long, but Ryan knew that without a doubt.
“I can’t do that,” Ryan said. “And I won’t.” He was already shaking again, and he tried to control it. Dante hadn’t turned around, and for that Ryan was grateful, because he didn’t want him to see him shaking like a child. “You need to do what makes you happy, and if that’s riding a bull that wants you dead then I’ll have to get used to it somehow. That is, if you want me to stay around.” They’d never really talked about any kind of relationship, but they’d been spending a lot of time together.
Dante turned slowly. “Of course I want you to stay. Why wouldn’t I? Why would you think I wouldn’t want you to?”
“You never say anything. I mean, we talk, often about things that don’t matter, and then fuck each other’s brains out. But we don’t talk about stuff,” Ryan said. “I guess I was wondering where I stood.”
Dante scoffed lightly. “I guess we don’t. But I don’t tend to run on at the mouth.”
“No. But sometimes it’s nice to hear the words.” Ryan shifted until he was right behind Dante, wrapped his arms around the smaller man’s work-muscled chest, and pressed his own chest to Dante’s back.
“We don’t talk about stuff like that. I mean, I don’t think Gramps and I have said more than a few words to each other about how we feel, but we know.” Dante turned his head to the side. “I’m not sure how I’d even say the words. I don’t know what words to use,” he said softly. “It doesn’t mean I don’t feel them, it just means I’m not really good at talking about them.”
Ryan rested his forehead on Dante’s shoulder. It wasn’t fair to push him, so Ryan closed his eyes and kept quiet as he lightly kissed Dante’s skin. Eventually Dante leaned back, and Ryan tugged him onto the bed. If they weren’t going to talk, then Ryan needed to find a different way to express what he was feeling. He only hoped the message he got from Dante was equally clear.