A Season to Be Sinful (24 page)

You will want to know, Miss Rose, that I pressed the lads to permit me to assist them with their ships. It is a particular fondness of mine, and they were good enough to indulge me.

Truly.

Sherry decided the only way she could have served up more cynicism was if she had used a platter. Certainly, he said. When I was not much older than they are, I built an armada. Cybelline sunk the thing right over there. He pointed to a small outcropping of rocks where a pair of ducks were preening. As I recall, it was revenge for some trick she thought Id played her. I had not, of course, because one doesnt play tricks on women. Right, lads? One is fair minded and honest in their dealings with women.

There was a lot of nodding of heads and some cautious optimism that they would be out of Dutch and back in Lilys good graces. Lily, however, was made of sterner stuff.

This principled conscience of yours, she said, the one that compels you to deal fairly and honestly with women, would it make an exception, mayhap, when you wish to protect three young scoundrels who applied to you for help against the express wish of their governess?

Yeve done it now, Pinch said under his breath.

Midge nodded. Riled er up good and proper.

Dash hung his head more pitifully than before. Never knew anyone to ave the knack of it the way ye do.

Lily cocked an eyebrow at Sheridan. Its no good, my lord. You cannot be both abashed and amused. One rather negates the other. You would do well to study these poor fellows and learn how it is done.

You are a harsher critic than my own governess, he said. She was taken in often enough.

That is because she wasnt taught by the good sisters at Sacred Heart. Lily held out the model ship. Can you repair it?

Nodding, Sherry finished making the notch in the boom and reattached it. He tested it several times, saw it would hold, then raised his hands to indicate he was done.

Lily returned the vessel to Dash and accepted her knife back from Sheridan. Thank you. It was good of you to lend assistance.

Sherry inclined his head. Do we begin now?

You wish to stay?

He did not mistake that she was not eager for him to do so. Of course. It is to be a boat race, isnt it?

Its to be a science lesson disguised as boat race.

Even better. Science is also a passion.

Very well. Lily led the way to slightly deeper water and directed the boys to hold their boats for a moment. Let us examine the hulls, shall we? Do you see why the Roman merchantman is called a round ship? Now look at the narrow lines of the Viking vessel. Can you tell me how they will perform differently in the water?

Sherry stood slightly back from them, offering no comment but listening to everything. He observed that Lily did not condescend to her pupils. She challenged them. The questions she put to them had no simple answers but required that they consider ideas they had learned in the classroom and put them to use. If she addressed a notion they had not yet discussed, she required them to experiment and employ their own eyes to draw conclusions. They were allowed to ask questions freely; in fact, she encouraged them. When she didnt know an answer she applied herself to arriving at one by the same methods she asked them to use. If she was not satisfied with the breadth of her own knowledge, she was not so proud that she could not turn to him for help.

In precisely that fashion, Sherry found himself being included in the lesson, part teacher, part student, all admiration.

The boat races proved to be more exciting than any of them anticipated. The Viking longship, with its simple square-rigged sail and narrow hull, was the winner more often than not, though with no Lilliputian aboard to turn the deep oar, it frequently went off course. Since the Roman round ship and the Egyptian barge sailed off course as well, they had a good time of it predicting where they would run aground.

Midge fell into deep water first, though whether by design or accident was a question Lily raised when Sherry hauled him back safely. Pinch announced in dramatic tones that his ship was in danger of falling off the edge of the earth and promptly dove after it. Once again, Sherry was called up to make the rescue. When Dash slipped under, Sherry responded by bringing him up and promptly pushing him down again.

Lily waded away and sat down in the grass while the boysand there were four of them nowsplashed and leaped and dived and sputtered. They abandoned their ships first, then gleefully sank them. Hoisting each child in turn, Sheridan hurled them like cannonballs at the vessels.

The captain goes down with the ship, lads. Its the law on the high seas.

But were pirates! We ave no onor! Pinchs protest came to nothing as Sheridan tossed him anyway.

The splash was large enough to reach Lily on the bank. She didnt flinch from it. The spray of water stung far less than her tears.

She was sitting on a stone bench, looking out toward the lake. An unopened book lay in her lap, her place marked by the insertion of her index finger. Her posture was erect, even stiffly held, and he wondered if it had become so in anticipation of his approach. Surrounded on three sides as she was by the palest of pink roses and deep emerald leaves, the effect was rather like she was wearing them as a mantle.

Miss Rose, he said quietly. You are aptly named, I think, for your presence here compliments this garden. Will you permit me to join you?

Surely that is your choice. She did not turn to look at him. I am not long for this place. It is growing too dark to read.

Sherry chose not to be put off by her lack of enthusiasm. Then I will remain so that I can escort you back. He indicated the book in her lap. Another novel?

No. Chemical Philosophy .

Davys work?

She nodded. There are many books like this in your library. You were sincere this afternoon when you said that science was a passion.

I was, though you sound as if you cannot credit it. By my reckoning, you have been in residence at Granville every bit of two months. After so much time, how can you doubt that I am an enlightened, scientific farmer? I am certain I had less difficulty arriving at the conclusion that you were more in the way of a teacher than a governess. Sherry joined her on the bench, stretching his legs and bracing his arms slightly behind him. Infinitely more at his ease than Lily, he nevertheless looked out over the lake as she was doing. I

hope you will allow that I am more in the way of a farmer than a lord.

A smile flickered across her lips. I will allow that it requires more study.

That satisfies for the time being. He crossed his legs at the ankles. Your lesson this afternoon was extraordinary. I have not been involved in the like since I was at Cambridge. Is that how you were taught at the abbey?

It was how Sister Mary Joseph taught. She regarded Sherry askance. I imagine you would say she was an enlightened, scientific nun. She embraced faith and reason, though not without some argument from the Reverend Mother and Bishop Corbeil.

She persevered.

Always.

Sherry thought he caught a trace of wistful admiration in Lilys tone. She is still there?

I dont know.

Youve never written her.

It was more statement than question, but Lily responded anyway. Never. When Sherry said nothing, she found herself filling the silence. I never judged it prudent to do so.

From Sherrys perspective it seemed a curious choice of words. Did you run away from the abbey, Lily? He was close enough to her to feel the slight tremor that slipped under her skin. Glancing down, he saw her slim fingers tighten around the book. Are you still running from there?

Lily stared across the terraced gardens. Dusk was leeching the color from the roses and creating gray-green shadows along the boxwoods. Is it so important that you know?

Yes, I think it is.

Why?

Sherry regarded her profile. She was as still as the stone she sat on, perhaps just as cold. Can you not imagine that Id like to help you?

If it is because I took a shiv for you, it is not at all neces-sary. I did not mean to get stabbed, you know, only to deflect the villains aim. If it will help you feel less beholden to me, then you should know that I am not at all certain I would do it again.

He merely lifted a brow.

His silence caused her to glance in his direction. You dont believe me.

I did not say so, did I?

You are maddening.

Yes. And you are obstinate beyond reason. He paused a moment, then said quietly, I find that I like you immensely, Lily. It also occurs to me that you will have more difficulty coming to terms with that than T did

Then you did not embrace the idea at the outset?

No. Heavens no.

She chuckled a little then. Pray, do not spare my feelings.

The corners of Sherrys mouth lifted in a faint smile. I embrace the idea now.

You should not.

He shrugged.

You will not change your mind?

About liking you? I think not. About wanting to help you? That answer is also no.

Lily stood so suddenly that she fairly vibrated. She turned on him. I think you will, she said. Then she ended the discussion by abruptly walking away.

In some ways she was predictable, so Sherry did not evince any surprise when Lily let herself into his bedchamber several hours later. He was not yet abed but sitting in a wing chair near the window. A candelabra on the side table illuminated his still figure and the open book on his lap. He closed it slowly and set it aside.

If you mean to stay, he said, then shut the door. Lily stood only a few steps beyond the threshold, more in the room than not, but hesitant of a sudden. Her hand rested on the door handle; she twisted it absently.

You must choose, he told her. In or out.

She released the handle and gave the door a nudge with her fingertips to push it closed. You have been expecting me.

Sherry almost smiled at her soft, accusatory tone. Instead, he made certain his expression remained as neutral and unrevealing as his voice. It occurred that you might come, yes. Does that put you off your purpose?

Lily shook her head.

Very well. What is it that you require of me?

What do you mean?

Should I remain where I am so that you might say your prayers, or do you wish to have me on the bed? He watched her eyes dart in that direction. Kearns turned down the covers, but that is his nightly ritual and for my benefit. It was not done in anticipation that you would come here.

Lily caught her lower lip between her teeth. Perhaps the bed.

Of course. Sherry stood and moved toward it. It will not have escaped your notice that I am not yet in my night-clothes. Will you undress me or should I manage the thing myself?

Rooted to the floor, Lily took in a deep breath and let it shudder through her on release. Why are you doing this?

He cocked an eyebrow at her. You will have to explain yourself.

I thought you would She looked at her reflection in the dark mirror that the window had become. I thought you would not want me. You did not before.

Yet in spite of what you thought, here you are.

Yes.

Because you mean to seduce me.

She nodded.

You mean to make me want you against my will.

Lily nodded again.

And give me disgust of you. Perhaps you even hope Ill send you away.

Her eyes dropped to the floor. Her voice was but a thread of sound. Yes.

Then you have forgotten our kiss at the stone wall, Lily. I have not. Watching her, taking in the whole of the subdued manner in which she held herself, Sherry realized he had at last stumbled on the true purpose of her visit. Seducing him, giving him disgust of her, were but a means to an end. Now he needed to understand that end. Why, he asked. Why do you hope I will send you away?

Because I cannot go.

This admission was made so quietly it was more an exhalation of breath than speech. It was also reluctantly offered. Sheridan could only guess at the cost to her pride. Look at me, Lily.

She lifted her head; her eyes were luminous.

You must not depend on me to make you go, Sherry said. You cannot seduce me, Lily. Nor give me disgust of you. You cannot make me want you against my will because I find that wanting you is in every way my will.

She blinked. Tears spilled over the rim of her lashes. You do not mean that.

His gentle smile chided her. I think I know my own mind. He held out his hand to her. Will you not come here? When she didnt move, not even to shake her head, Sherrys smile deepened. Very well. It is better, perhaps, that I come to you. In only a few measured steps, he closed the distance between them and stood directly in front of her. He saw the effort she made to hold his gaze. Her hands twisted in the fabric of her robe, and her breathing came quick and shallow. Take measure of my sincerity, Lily. I like you. I want to help you. I also want to lie with you. What we shall make of it, I dont know.

The honesty of this last statement simply stole her breath. The offer or a single promise about a future together would have been suspect. More than that, it would have been a lie.

Whatever they might make of one night together would not be a future, but another day. It might become a sennight, a fortnight, a month, then a season

It was too much to contemplate, an impossible idea to hold before her. Feeling helpless in the face of itand not liking any part of that feelingLily wished the ground would simply swallow her.

Her distress was so palpable that Sherry wondered that she remained standing. I would like to hold you, he said. May I?

She pressed her lips together, then nodded once.

Sherry was skeptical; his eyebrows lifted a fraction. It shouldnt be against your will.

Lily dashed away tears at the corners of her eyes. Its not.

He still didnt move to take her in his arms, but watched her closely. It was not possible for him to know what held her back. He decided to risk a guess. Are you afraid of me, Lily?

Of you, a little. She caught her lower lip between her teeth for a moment, then told him, Of me? You cannot imagine.

Sherry laid his hands lightly on her upper arms. Although she didnt flinch, he could feel the tremor of her body under his palms. He let his hands fall down the length of her arms until he had her wrists. A tug was all it would have taken to pull her close, but he didnt do that. Instead, it was Sherry who took one more step forward, raising Lilys arms, and entered the circle of her embrace. When he released her wrists, her hands remained at his sides, and he slipped his own around her back.

Bending his head, he kissed the crown of her hair and breathed deeply of her fragrance. You were sitting among the roses, yet your scent is lavender.

Lily turned her face and pressed her cheek against his shoulder. Will you let me go? she asked.

Surprised, he began to draw away. Of course.

No! Lily tightened her embrace and did not release him. No. Not now. I did not mean now. She waited until his hands returned to the small of her back. If I must go, if I find that it can be no other way, am I free to leave at any time or will you

When she trailed off, clearly caught by some emotion Sherry could not name, he prompted her softly. Will I what? What do you need to know?

Will you hold me whether I wish it or not?

Sherry realized then Lily was not speaking literally of this embrace but of something much larger. She was asking about her choices, her right to make them. She was asking about her very freedom. He could not help but wonder at the experience that pressed her to ask the question. You may leave Granville at any time, Lily. I hope knowing that will prevent you from leaving in the dead of night without any word of your intent to do so. I would rather see you off safely than discover youve run away. He caught her under the chin with his index finger and tilted her head so that she might look at him. Now, tell me that in this matter, at least, you will trust me.

With her chin poised on his finger as it was, it was not possible for Lily to merely nod. She must speak the words aloudfor him, certainly, but for herself, more importantly. He was something beyond clever; he was diabolical.

I think you are used to getting whatever you want, she said, but in spite of that, I trust you.

I trust you would have been sufficient, he said with a certain wryness. Still holding her chin at the desired angle, Sherry bent his head. When his mouth was but a hairs-breadth from her, he whispered, I hope there are not a great many rules this time.

No.

Her response presented him with her lovely open mouth just as hed known it would. He kissed her lightly at first then with mounting pressure, drawing her closer with a hand at her back while dropping the other from her chin. The taste of her was not precisely what he remembered, but something more besides. Not sweet, but sweeter. Not yielding, but giving.

She stood on tiptoe and leaned into him and was supported by his chest, sheltered by his shoulders. Her body bowed, pulled taut by her reach for him, then by her need. This experience of wanting was new to her. Did he know? She hoped he would know.

Her hands lifted to his head; her fingers threaded through his dark hair. She felt the tip of his tongue sweep across her upper lip. His teeth caught her lower one, and he bit down gently. Heat uncurled inside her so quickly, and with such force, that she gasped

Sherry raised his head immediately. Did I hurt you?

No. She pressed her fingers against his scalp with just enough force to bring him back to her. Her open-mouthed kiss rocked him back on his heels and lifted her off the floor. She engaged his tongue, teasing him at first, then with mounting urgency, and the fever pitch of wanting did not pass as she was maneuvered toward the bed. It was only when she felt the mattress at the back of her thighs that the enormity of what she would do with this man was borne home to her.