A Season for Tending (24 page)

Thousands of questions pounded her.

Was Michael watching her? Would reality sink in over time and cause him to feel sorry for the way he’d treated the mother of his child? When it did, how would he respond? Would he be relieved that he didn’t have to rush into marrying a girl he never really loved?

Never really loved?
Was that true?

Would she have to raise his child on her own?

As she turned onto the road toward home, the weight of what she’d done mocked her. What if Michael never came to his senses? How could she bear the shame of being pregnant and alone? Her eyes blurred with tears that she didn’t bother trying to stop.

She figured Michael wouldn’t tell anyone about her being pregnant—for his self-preservation. But she wouldn’t be able to keep this a secret for too long. And then the news would spread throughout the community like a brush fire on a summer day. Once her family found out—

She heard the rhythmic
clippety-clop
of a horse’s hoofs and the steady rumble of spoke wheels behind her. For a second she wondered if Michael had come after her. But he would’ve driven his car or at least ridden a horse rather than taking the time to hook up a rig.

She could tell by the sounds that the horse and carriage were slowing. She turned around to see who was driving.

Jacob brought the rig to a stop. She didn’t wait for an invite before climbing in. After she shut the door, her brother tapped the reins on the horse’s back and headed down the road.

She brushed at her damp cheeks. “I’m pregnant.” The words made her break into sobs. “And Michael’s a total jerk. I thought … I was so sure he loved me.” She put her hand out the open window, feeling the muggy air zip past her—much like her life. “If I’m honest, I never actually believed that. I only hoped it was true, and I was willing to lie to myself on the outside chance I could do something to make him love me.”

“It’s his loss.”

Leah rolled her eyes. “He used me. Would have again if I’d let him. How could I be so stupid?”

“You’re not stupid.”

“Well, naive then.”

“Everybody’s naive at least once. Me included. You’ll survive.”

She moaned. “I’m just so mad at myself.”

“Michael’s naive too, you know.”

“How?”

“If he thinks his behavior won’t catch up with him and haunt him day and night, that’s pretty naive.”

“Do you think there’s any chance the pregnancy test was wrong?”

“Sorry, Leah. I’d like to give you good news, but those things are really accurate these days.”

“Great.”

“You read the instructions and followed them, right?”

“They’re pretty straightforward. I peed on a stick and waited until a blue line showed up in the oval window.”

Jacob faced her. “You mean two pink lines, right?”

“No, one. Why?”

He laughed loud and hard. “Leah, one blue line means you’re
not
pregnant.”

“What?” Hope shot through her.

He shook his head. “You devour every word of your novels, but you don’t take the time to read the instructions on something so important?”

“Oh, Jacob, are you sure?”

“Positive. I mean negative. One blue line means negative, which means you’re not pregnant.”

“I always thought negative meant a bad thing was going to happen.”

“Ya, having a baby at seventeen would be a definite negative.”

She nodded. “But I’ve been so sick lately. I was sure how the test would turn out.”

“Well, depending on timing, it’s still possible you’re pregnant.”

“But you just said those tests are accurate.”

“They are. Unless you take the test too soon for it to show up. When were you and Michael together last?”

She didn’t need to think long about that. The memory was crystal clear. “Six weeks ago.” That’s when he’d started avoiding her and going to parties without her, and she’d chased him.

Jacob grinned. “Then you are definitely not pregnant. The type of test I bought would have shown a pregnancy within that time.” He shoved her shoulder.

“You sure know a lot about pregnancy tests.”

He pursed his lips, sadness flickering in his eyes, and she regretted her words.

She hugged his neck, but as she settled back into her seat, a new fear came out of hiding. “So what’s wrong with me, then? Why have I felt so sick lately?”

He glanced at her. “No, little sister, you’re not dying.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I know numbers, and I know you. Odds are you’ve done all this to yourself through worry. Nerves would be my guess. Maybe you’ve given yourself an ulcer. Whatever is going on, we’ll find a simple solution, and before long you’ll feel well enough to go back to avoiding your chores for less complicated reasons.” He grinned.

How could she have been so stupid? She should have read the directions on the box more carefully. She’d almost given in to Michael again. But she’d made the right decision, and she’d like to do more of that.

TWENTY-TWO

Samuel steered the team of workhorses dragging a small Amish hay cutter. He went down the green space between the rows, cutting all the grass that wasn’t in the drip line of the trees. Jacob pushed a reel mower under the drip line, destroying the grassy mouse tunnels that led to the trunks of the trees. Routine maintenance—that’s all it was. But he, Jacob, and Eli had been at it since sunrise, making the place look its best for Rhoda’s visit this afternoon.

Something caught Samuel’s attention, and he turned. Leah was driving a pony cart toward them with Hope perched beside her, watching and occasionally barking.

When Jacob spotted Leah, he left the mower and headed her way. Leah brought the horse to a stop, motioned for Samuel, and held up an oversized thermos before she and Jacob started talking.

Samuel preferred everyone to stay on task, but he drove the hay cutter closer to them and brought the horses to a halt. “What’s this?”

Leah took Hope off the wooden seat beside her and set her on the ground. “Can’t a girl do something nice for her brothers once in a blue moon?” She lowered the tailgate on the cart. Samuel and Jacob took a seat while Hope ran from one spot to another, sniffing all the new smells.

Leah poured them cups of cold water and took a lid off a container of cookies.

Jacob’s eyes grew round. “You made my favorite?”

“Ya.” Leah held the container up to him. “Oatmeal chocolate chip.”

“Oatmeal.” Samuel mumbled a mock complaint as he took one and scrutinized it. “So where’s my favorite cookie, Leah?”

“I’ll leave that to your girlfriend.”

Samuel shifted, getting more comfortable. Leah’s face was pale, and her hand moved to her upper stomach often, but she seemed more peaceful than he’d seen her in a long time. Mamm was counting the days until Leah saw the specialist. “You’re looking chipper today.”

Leah looked at Jacob, and they seemed to share a moment of some kind.

“Hey,”—Jacob interrupted his thoughts—“this woman … Rhoda something?”

“Byler.”

“You’ve told Catherine she’s coming here today?”

“No.”

“You like to live dangerously.”

“Appears that way, but it’s not my aim.” Samuel pulled the handkerchief from his pocket and poured cold water on it.

Jacob took another bite of his cookie. “What if your girlfriend shows up in the middle of Rhoda’s visit?”

“I, uh, took care of that last night.” Samuel wiped his face and the back of his neck with the cool cloth.

“What does that mean?” Leah asked.

Jacob picked up another cookie. “I’m not sure you need to hear this, Leah. Whatever he’s done, it’ll give you the wrong idea concerning male-female communication.”

“Don’t listen to him.” Samuel shooed his brother away. “He’s inexperienced in these matters. If upsetting a loved one can be avoided, it should be.”

“Uh-huh.” Jacob grinned around a mouthful of cookie. “So what’d you do?”

“After I talked to Rhoda yesterday, I called Catherine and asked if she and her Mamm would like to go shopping in Lancaster today. When she said yes, I told her I wanted to give her an early present for the anniversary of our first date, so I hired a driver and gave her some spending money. It should be a fun day for both of them.”

“That’s pretty sneaky,” Leah said.

“It’s a distraction while I get some business worked out. Rhoda will be long gone before the driver returns to Harvest Mills. If Rhoda agrees to work for us, I’ll tell Catherine everything.”

“And if Rhoda says no?” Leah’s brows arched.

Samuel drew a heavy breath. “Then what’d be the point of telling Catherine anything?”

Jacob brushed crumbs off his shirt. “Don’t ask me, but I always thought the perk of being tied down was having someone you could share your burdens with.”

Did Jacob know he often used the term
tied down
when he talked about being in a relationship? He’d always been restless. When Jacob graduated from the local Amish school at fourteen, he’d asked to leave the farm and to apprentice as a carpenter under their uncle Mervin in his construction business. So Daed let him live in Lancaster with Mervin’s family, and a driver brought Jacob home on weekends and holidays. But it seemed to Samuel that his brother grew more restless with each passing year.

When Jacob turned nineteen, he quit working for their uncle and began traveling, picking up jobs as a carpenter and, as Jacob put it, seeing the world. He lived on his own for two years, calling home from time to time or sending occasional letters about his latest adventures snow skiing, scuba diving, or deep-sea fishing. The whole family worried if he’d ever come back home to live. But one day he showed up—with bruises, stitches, and a cast on his leg. He said he’d been in a little accident, and that’s all he’d say. But something had changed him. Some of it good, like the fact that
restless
didn’t describe him much anymore. Some of it not good, like the secrets he held on to so tightly.

Samuel got up. “Denki, Leah. My favorite cookie or not, that hit the spot and will certainly make it easier to work through lunch.”

She picked up Hope and put the pup in the cart. “I’m going to ride out farther to see if I can spot Eli. As early as you guys started today, he’d surely like a snack.”

Jacob winked at her. “You’re a keeper.”

“Denki.”

They drank the last of the liquid in their cups and put them in the cart. Jacob covered the plate of cookies and set them out of Hope’s reach, then sent Leah on her way.

While watching the wagon slowly meander farther into the orchard, Samuel said, “If we didn’t need Rhoda to become a partner, you might find yourself attracted to her.”

Jacob stretched. “What makes you think that?”

“What’s your number one complaint about most girls?”

“They’re boring.”

“She’s quirky and difficult but not boring. What’s your second complaint?”

“They’re either overconfident about their looks or filled with self-doubt. Both are enough to drive a sane man off a cliff.”

“I think she’s too focused on her berry patch and her family to worry much about her appearance.”

Jacob didn’t ask what she looked like. No surprise there. He had a long list of picky things about women, but how they looked wasn’t on it.

“What about my third complaint—that most girls cycle through more emotions in a day than a man does in a year. I can’t take that.”

“She’s no peaceful dove, but other than that I don’t know. I hope I never have to find out. I do know she’s been the cause of a lot of hearsay on the chat line lately.”

Jacob started for his mower. “What made her the source of rumors?”

“She broke into a woman’s home to help her.”

“Hmm. So she doesn’t scare easily.” He nodded. “I think I’m looking forward to meeting her.”

“You can’t start anything romantic, Jacob. We can’t afford emotional messiness ruining what we could build as partners. Besides, after a few dates what are the chances of you actually liking her?”

Jacob sighed. “True. Wish it wasn’t, but it is. I just turned twenty-three and not an interesting girl in sight.”

Samuel climbed on the mower, standing behind the horses, and took the reins in hand. “It’ll happen. And when it does, the mystery woman will knock those stinky socks right off your feet.”

TWENTY-THREE

Rhoda wiped the sweat from her forehead. “Landon.” She tried choking back the sheer annoyance of the moment. “How did you miss the fact that you needed gas?”