A Merry Little Christmas (34 page)

“Quit looking at me like that, you know where it ends up,” he scolded.

“I’m behaving, honestly I am,” she said playfully. “I just like to look at you, is that so wrong?”

She was sitting on the side of the bed struggling with her panty hose. “I truly hate these things. These are inventions of the devil, they really are.”

“So don’t wear them.  Isn’t that the style, to go without them?” 

“You’ve been reading my InStyle again, haven’t you?  I’m too Southern to go to church barelegged unless it’s really, really hot out.”  She issued a deep breath after getting the hated things on.  Rising
with difficulty
, she grimaced
and sat down again, heavily. Rubbing her tummy, she asked Donnie to hand her the dress she’d selected. “The navy-blue one with the white collar and cuffs, please.”

After donning the dress, she made it to the bathroom to brush her hair and use the facilities. By now Donnie was also ready, completely attired in his dashing suit and looking very elegant. He had thoughtfully brought her shoes, which he would slip on her feet in the living room.

“I feel like Cinderella when you do that,” she said dreamily.

He grinned. “That must make me a prince.”

“You’re my king,” she corrected him. “Can we have two
Christmas
trees?
One in the living room and one in the dining room.
Maybe one in the game room, too,” she said thoughtfully.

“You are obsessed with Christmas,” he said with a grin. “Yes, we can have as many trees as you want. We can have one in our room, in the baby’s room; the dogs can have one, for all I care. We’d better get going if we’re going to be on time.”

“We can put doggy treats on their tree,” she said happily. “They have to celebrate, too, you know.”

Her due date added to the family speculation about the baby’s name. She and Donnie made up a series of ridiculous baby names with which to tease the family. “Crayon if it’s a
boy,
and
Crayola
if it’s a girl,” they’d say.
Or,
Ve
rn
or
for a boy and Ginger Ale for a girl.
The worst was
Live
rn
ois
for a boy and
Dequindre
for a girl. Nobody believed that they would really name their child after a city street, but with those two, one never knew. After church everyone converged on Big Benny and Martha’s home for brunch and the speculation continued.

Donnie and Angelique smiled widely when asked if they’d picked a name yet. “Yes, we’re calling it Jingle if it’s a boy and Belle if it’s a girl,” they chorused.

Later, when Angelique was in the kitchen helping Martha prepare brunch, Martha commented on Angelique’s demeanor. “You know something, dear, I think you’re a lot happier,” she said gently. “Not that you exuded misery or anything, but you just seem more content, more relaxed. It’s so nice to see you like this.”

Angelique was a great fan of Martha Cochran. Martha was still trim and graceful and had a quiet charm that had served her well in all her years of arranging tours at her successful travel agency. She’d finally sold the agency, but her innate grace was just a part of her nature. She had silvery hair cut into a fashionable short bob and her dark brown s
kin
simply glowed. Angelique couldn’t resist giving the older woman a hug. Martha had always been very kind to her, even before she moved to Detroit.
And Martha was dead on the money because
ever since her mother’s visit, she had been much more at peace with herself.

She and Lillian had had a long talk during her visit, a talk that ironed out a lot of misunderstandings. The morning Donnie and L
illian had their heart-to-heart
Angelique had overheard much of their conversation. After Donnie left for the office, she and Lillian had lingered in the kitchen over coffee and Angelique’s inevitable herbal tea. After a few moments of comfortable silence, Angelique told her mother that she’d overheard the conversation.

“I wasn’t deliberately eavesdropping, I couldn’t help it,” she said apologetically. “But I don’t want you to think you were a bad mother, Mama. I wasn’t a very good daughter.”

Lillian’s eyes had filled with tears and she contradicted her. “How can you say that, Angel? I’m your mother, darling, it’s my job to understand you and nurture you.”

“Even if I made that impossible?
Come on, Mama, you know I was a difficult child
.
I was spoiled rotten and I was angry all the time.
I was like a little wild animal and you know it.”

“I know no such
th
ing. When you were a baby, Angelique, you were the sweetest little thing in the world. You were very spirited and lively, but you were also uncommonly sweet
.
You were one of those babies who
was
always smiling and easygoing, such a joy to care for!
You loved taking baths and you let me dress you in the
girliest
little dresses, and put bows in your hair. I could change your clothes three times a day and you didn’t protest
The
only thing you hated was being confined. I found that out when I put up a baby gate.
 
You went wild, Angel, you screamed the house down until I removed it. It was the same thing with a playpen, you just couldn’t abide it.
If I put you down and told to you sit there, you would. You’d be right there when I came back. But if I tried to restrain you in any way, ooh, girl it was on,” she said wryly.

Angelique was fascinated by this account. “But, Mama, after I started school and my grades were so bad, I got so angry at everyone. I was mad at my teacher, mad at the counselor, mad at
you,
I think I was mad at Daddy for dying, too. I was so miserable and so hostile, how could you have loved a creature like that?”

Lillian slammed her hand down on the table. “I could have tried harder, Angelique! I should have been more understanding, I should have kept you at home instead of sending you to that
school, I should have done more to let you know that you were my heart, my little girl and no matter what it took I was going to make it better,” she cried, her voice full of self-recrimination.

Angelique was crying now and they hugged each other tightly. “Mama, look at us, we look like a family on one of those tell-all talk shows.” Her attempt at humor seemed to work, as both women laughed nervously. “You did the best you could, and I know in my heart that you did. That’s why I was able to change my life, change the way I was living. You made that possible because you took me to church every Sunday and I learned about God and forgiveness. I always knew that if I asked God to forgive me and make me a better person, He would. And when A.J. got sick, that’s what I did,” she said simply.

“What do you mean, dearest?”

“When A.J. got that brain tumor, I thought my world was over. You have no idea how much I loved him and how much I needed him in my life. I don’t mean I loved him like a boyfriend, although I did have a huge crush on him for a while. I mean, he taught me so much about photography and about life that I thought I would die if he didn’t get well. He was too good a person to die. I prayed every day, every hour that if God would spare A
.
J., I would change. I told Him I’d be a better person, a less selfish person if He would just spare A.J. And He did, so I had to keep my promise.”

She took a last sip of the tea that was now stone cold, but she didn’t seem to notice. “Mama, when I went traveling with A.J., it was the most humbling experience I’ve ever had. I couldn’t even conceive of the kind of poverty that exists in some parts of the world. The diseases, the famine—it was incredible. I had taken my entire existence for granted and it made me so ashamed. That’s why I eat everything that’s on my plate, no matter if I like it or not, because I at least have enough to eat. I can turn on the water and it comes out clean and fit to drink; there are lots of places where that
doesn’t
happen. Even in this country, Mama. But what am I telling you this for? You’ve always been active in charities. And so am I, now,” she said proudly.

Lillian was amazed by what her daughter was telling her. For the first time in a long time, she felt connected to her youngest child and the woman she had become. There would always be a part of her that regretted the years they weren’t close, but she would make sure that this closeness would remain for the rest of their lives.

The rest of her visit was a great deal of fun. Instead of running from mall to restaurant to gallery, they took it easy and relaxed together, watching Angelique’s collection of old movie musicals. It was something they’d done when Angelique was quite small and Lillian was amazed that she remembered and still liked the same movies.

“I have a lot to learn about you, my dear, and I’m looking forward to every bit of it,” Lillian said before she left.

When Donnie and Angelique took her to the airport, it was with genuine regret. Donnie had to pry them apart to get Lillian on the plane.

“Lillian, I promise we’ll be down in a couple of weeks. I can see that we’ll be spending a lot of time in Atlanta,” he said as he hugged her. Altogether it was a memorable and wonderful time in Angelique’s life, a time she would always treasure.

So when she agreed with Martha that she was a lot happier now, she was telling the truth. A better relationship with her mother, a truly happy marriage and a beautiful baby ... she couldn’t ask for anything more. And Christmas was coming. A year ago she’d been wondering if she’d ever be happy again and now she knew what true happiness was.

***

Before Thanksgiving had arrived, Angelique was in
a Christmas
frenzy. To Donnie’s loving amusement, she had set up a holiday timetable that included dates for volunteering at a soup kitchen and a convalescent home, dates for decorating the house inside and out
,
and the exact date all their Christmas cards would be sent out. She had taken what she called a family portrait, consisting of her and Donnie posing with Jordan and Pippen, both of whom were wearing big red bows on their collars. She made sure that her burgeoning belly was well displayed, too. She was still thrilled about being pregnant, even though it was getting a little stressful.

Sleeping on her stomach was completely out of the question, but sleeping on her back was no easier. She had to sleep propped up on so many pillows, it was like she was sitting up. And she found herself getting crankier as the days went on. There were days when she would cry at the drop of a hat. Just seeing a sentimental holiday commercial could set her off. There were other times when something like not being able to see her feet would make her so frustrated, she would end up throwing a shoe. The day she went out of the house with one brown shoe and one black one was memorable indeed.

In balance, though, life was good. She wasn’t going into the studio every day now, as she was taking very few assignments. But on the occasions that she went in to work, she was thrilled with the traditional holiday look of the lobby and arcade. With the classic restoration of the building, it reminded her of an old-fashioned movie musical set. There were Christmas carols playing and tasteful decorations, enough to satisfy even her desire for festivity.
 
Donnie delighted in indulging her every holiday w
him
and began putting up the outdoor lights early just to please her. They went shopping for Christmas decorations one weekend, and, thanks to her persistence, scoured all of southeastern Michigan for beautiful baubles.

One day she and Paris even ended up going to Frankenmuth, a German town near Saginaw that was home to
Bronner’s
, known as the Christmas Wonderland. They’d gone to Saginaw one Tuesday afternoon for their regular hair appointments with Danny Watley, one of Vera’s dearest friends and the owner of the Hair Gallery in Saginaw; it was a sign of his skill that both women went to see him once a month to keep their hair glowing. They would do their own shampoo and sets but no one was allowed to do anything serious to their hair except Danny.
 
On the drive up to Saginaw, Angelique had sung along with the Christmas music she insisted on playing, to Paris’s amusement. She was happy to tease her cousin about it, too.

“Angel, remember last Christmas when you were so blue and lonely? Now look at you. You’re a happily married
lady,
soon to be a mommy and you’ve got enough holiday spirit for ten people. I’m so happy for you,” she said.

Angelique smiled a huge and blissful smile and rubbed her firm, hard tummy with both hands. “I’m very happy for me, too.
For me, for Adonis, for my family, for everything.
It’s unbelievable, isn’t it?”

The hour-and-a-half drive to Saginaw was over quickly and they pulled into the parking lot of the Hair Gallery. Tuesdays were Danny’s light days and the lot wasn’t crowded. Angelique walked into the salon employing the little-pregnant-lady waddle so often seen in the last stages of pregnancy.

Danny’s eyes got big when he saw Angelique. “Look at you, you look like an olive with a toothpick stuck through it,” he exclaimed when he saw her big pregnant belly.