Read 1979 - You Must Be Kidding Online
Authors: James Hadley Chase
A scared look came into Bo’s eyes.
‘You think this killer could come after me?’
‘Just keep your mouth shut,’ Lepski said, then looking around at the others, ‘Anyone else saw or heard anything?’
There was a negative shake of heads.
‘Get his home address,’ Lepski said to Dusty and hurried back to Boone’s cabin.
The homicide squad and the fingerprint men were working in the cabin. Hess, standing under a palm tree, smoked a cigar. Lepski told him what Bo Walker had said.
‘So, okay, we now know for sure when the guy was killed,’ Hess said. ‘That’s important.’ He stared at the cabin. ‘Maybe the boys will come up with something. Staying in there makes me sick to my stomach. It’s a goddamn blood bath, plus flies.’
Detective Hayes of the homicide squad came out of the cabin and walked over to Hess. He handed him two envelopes.
‘Found these in his duffle bag.’
As Hess studied the envelopes, Lepski peered over his shoulder. The first envelope was addressed to Mrs. Ken Brandon. The second was to Mr. Jefferson Sternwood. Removing the contents, Hess read the extortion notes Boone had shown Ken and Karen.
‘So this fink was blackmailing them,’ Hess said, putting the slips of paper back in their envelopes. ‘Here’s our motive.’
‘Yeah.’ Lepski slapped at a mosquito that was buzzing him. ‘You know, Fred, I can’t dig a guy like Brandon doing a cut-up job like this, nor do I see him doing that job on Janie. This is a nut job, and Brandon isn’t a nut.’
‘How do you know? How do you know what goes on in this guy’s mind?’ Hess said impatiently. ‘Here is a motive. Take these letters to the Chief and see what he thinks.’
Twenty minutes later, Lepski bounded into the Detectives room. As he came to a skidding stop before his desk, Max Jacoby signalled to him.
‘Levine, the tailor, called five minutes ago. He said he wanted to talk to you . . . urgent.’
‘The Chief in?’
‘He’s with the Mayor.’
Lepski sat at his desk and called Levine.
‘Lepski. You wanted me, Mr. Levine,’ he said when the tailor came on the line.
‘Those golf ball buttons, Mr. Lepski,’ Levine said. ‘I thought you should know. I’ve one jacket left. This morning I had a client interested. When I went to the rack, I found there’s a button missing on the jacket.’
Lepski stiffened to attention.
‘The button could have dropped off, Mr. Levine.’
‘Certainly not! It was cut off!’ Levine’s voice went up a note. ‘There’s nothing shoddy about my clothes, Mr. Lepski! This button was cut off!’
‘I’d like to borrow the jacket for a couple of days.’
‘I’ve sold the jacket. I put on another button.’
Lepski made a soft whistling noise, controlling his exasperation.
‘Who did you sell it to?’
‘A gentleman. He paid cash.’
‘Does that mean you don’t know his name?’
‘He was passing through. He said he was from Texas. Why should I need his name if he paid cash?’
‘Mr. Levine, suppose someone cut off the button and put it either on his jacket or among the duplicates you supply, would you know if the button was the original or the cut-off button?’
‘How would I know that? A button is a button.’
Lepski made a noise like a meat grinder hitting gristle.
‘What was that, Mr. Lepski?’ Levine asked, startled.
‘Okay. Okay. Thanks.’ and Lepski slammed down the receiver. He explained the situation to Jacoby.
‘Take Brandon’s jacket and the duplicate buttons to the lab boys,’ he said. ‘Ask them to see if the buttons all came from the same mould and at the same time.’
When Max had gone, Lepski sat at his desk, thinking, then he called Levine again.
‘Just another question, Mr. Levine. Did Mr. Ken Brandon visit your shop within the past two days?’
‘Mr. Brandon? No, I haven’t seen him for weeks. He is not one of my regular clients.’
Lepski sighed.
Well, he thought, at least it was a try. Thanking Levine, he hung up.
It wasn’t until 11.45 that Chief of Police Terrell returned to headquarters after a long session with the Mayor.
Beigler, Hess and Lepski joined him in his office.
‘Okay, Fred,’ Terrell said as he lit his pipe. ‘What have you got?’
‘The exact time when the killer cut off Boone’s head. As an alibi breaker, it is important, but that’s about it. The cabin is full of prints. We are checking each and every one . . . a big job. It would seem our nut is getting cute. It’s my guess, he stripped naked before he cut up Boone: so no blood stains on his clothing. From the look of the shower room, he washed off. There are traces of blood.
Then there are those two blackmail notes. They could give us the motive. Brandon, under pressure, could have decided to silence Boone.’
Terrell looked at Lepski who was sitting forward, bursting to talk.
‘What have you got, Tom?’
Lepski told about Levine’s telephone call and about the missing button.
‘Brandon could have slipped into the shop when Levine was busy and cut of the buttons. I’ve sent his jacket and the duplicate buttons to the lab.’
‘Now, I’ll tell you something,’ Terrell said. ‘Mayor Hedley wanted to know what we are doing and how far we have got. I told him about Karen Sternwood and Brandon.’
Terrell grimaced as he puffed at his pipe. ‘Hedley practically blew his top. His ruling is that unless we come up with irrefutable - repeat irrefutable - proof that Brandon is a nut, we lay off Brandon. Sternwood is backing a big city loan. If we stir up a scandal about his daughter, heads will fall . . . maybe, only one head . . . mine. So we don’t put pressure on Brandon unless we get irrefutable proof he is a nut.’
‘Brandon has a strong motive,’ Hess said.
‘You’re forgetting Pete Hamilton supplied the killer with a motive. He practically said that Boone had seen the killer. There’s a possible motive.’
‘Suppose the lab boys show one of the buttons of Brandon’s duplicate set is the cut-off button?’ Lepski said. ‘What then?’
‘What does it prove except that Brandon is desperately trying to cover up his affair with the Sternwood girl?’
Terrell said impatiently. ‘Before we go after Brandon, we have to have much more proof and we don’t go after him until we get that proof!’
Hess snorted.
‘So we are back to square A.’
‘No, we’re not. We haven’t traced Cyrus Gregg’s jacket,’ Terrell said. ‘Mrs. Gregg find her butler say the jacket was given to the Salvation Army. Craddock swears he never had the jacket. The two collectors don’t remember it, but that doesn’t mean one of them didn’t keep the jacket to give away, wear himself or sell.’ Terrell looked at Lepski.
‘Get Brandon’s jacket back from the lab and take it to Pete Hamilton. I want the jacket shown on television. I want real heat put on the jacket. Get it photographed and send copies to all the newspapers. It could turn up something.’
Lepski brightened. He would fix it with Hamilton that he would show the jacket on the T.V. screen. Carroll would love that! Boy! Would this make his neighbours talk! Detective 1st Grade Lepski on television!
* * *
Lieutenant Dave Willenski, in charge of the police laboratory, regarded Lepski with disapproval as Lepski skidded to a stop at his desk.
Willenski was growing old in the service of the police.
Tall, thin, balding with bushy eyebrows and a drooping moustache, he was regarded as the best lab man on the Pacific coast.
‘The jacket Jacoby delivered,’ Lepski said briskly. ‘You finished with it?’
Willenski sat back in his chair.
‘The problem was the buttons . . . right?’
Lepski shifted impatiently from one foot to the other.
‘Yeah . . . yeah. Never mind the buttons right now. I want the jacket. I’m going on T.V. in an hour with it . . . so let’s have it!’
‘Jacoby asked me to see if one of the buttons was an odd man out,’ Willenski said with irritating calmness. ‘You know something, Lepski?’
Lepski did a double shuffle.
‘What?’
‘You guys at headquarters don’t use your eyes.’
Lepski made a noise like a cat being trodden on.
‘Never mind. Let’s have the jacket!’
‘You only use your legs,’ Willenski went on. ‘Now, if you had used your eyes, you would have seen all the buttons have serial numbers.’
Lepski stared.
‘Is that right?’
‘If you had looked closely at the buttons you would have saved me the waste of time to use my eyes.’
‘Sure . . . okay, so we don’t use our eyes. Let’s have the goddamn jacket!’
‘One of the buttons doesn’t belong to Brandon’s jacket or his duplicate set. I suggest you check the serial number of this odd button with the remaining buttons on Levine’s jacket.’
‘That could prove that Brandon or someone cut off the button and included it with Brandon duplicates . . . right?’
‘It could prove that, but you had better check Levine’s buttons.’
‘We’ll do that. Let’s have the jacket.’
Willenski smiled. His superior smile was the most irritating smile in the world.
‘But it won’t prove Brandon is your killer.’
Lepski clenched and unclenched his fists.
‘So?’
‘The button Hess gave me, found on the murder scene has a different serial number. It doesn’t match up with Brandon’s nor Levine’s buttons, so you will be wasting your time.’
‘So, okay, that’s what I’m paid for,’ Lepski said, thinking only of his appearance on the T.V. screen. ‘Time’s running out. Where’s the jacket?’
‘The trouble with you guys at headquarters,’ Willenski said, ‘is you are always after publicity. When I was a young cop. . .’
‘Yeah. I know: you and Sherlock Holmes. Where’s the goddamn jacket?’
Willenski sighed, got to his feet and went to a closet. He produced the jacket which Lepski snatched from him.
‘I’ll be back,’ Lepski said, and rushed out of the room.
On his way down stairs, he came upon a telephone booth.
He remembered he hadn’t alerted Carroll. Coming to a skidding stop, he called his home.
When Carroll came on the line, he said, ‘Honey! Pin your ears back. . .’
‘Is that you, Lepski?’
Lepski made a noise like a shotgun firing.
‘Who do you think it is . . . the goddamn milkman?’
‘Lepski! Stop swearing and stop making horrible noises! You nearly deafened me!’
‘Okay! Okay! Now, listen. . .’
‘You listen to me,’ Carroll said firmly. ‘What have you done about Mehitabel’s clues?’
Lepski dragged his tie loose.
‘The blood red moon? The black sky? The orange beach?’
‘I’m glad you are thinking about it,’ Carroll said. ‘How far have you got?’
Lepski moaned to himself.
‘It’s under control. Now listen, honey. . .’
‘What do you mean . . . under control? What kind of talk is that?’
‘Will you listen?’ Lepski bawled. ‘I’ll be on Pete Hamilton’s T.V. show at nine. Me! Do you hear! I will be . . .’
‘Oh, Tom!’ Carroll’s voice turned to honey. ‘How marvellous! You really mean it?’
‘I’m telling you! At nine o’clock! Listen, honey, alert the neighbours! Get moving! I want those finks to see me! Spread the news! Okay?’
‘Tom! Of course! Pete Hamilton’s show at nine?’
‘Yeah. I’ve got to move. Time’s running out!’
‘I can’t wait!’
Lepski cut the connection, then rushed down to his car and drove to the T.V. studios.
A pert chick at the reception desk gave him a sexy smile.
‘Detective Lepski? Sure, Mr. Hamilton is expecting you. Second floor, fourth door.’
‘Thanks.’ Thinking of his first appearance on a T.V. screen, he went on, ‘Do I have to make-up?’
‘They’ll fix it. You’ll have no problems.’
Lepski took the elevator to the second floor. He found Hamilton talking to two men in shirtsleeves.
Beigler had already cleared the way with Hamilton on the telephone, and Hamilton agreed to cooperate.
Lepski stood around, holding the jacket, shifting from one foot to the other until Hamilton came over.
‘Hi, Lepski!’ Hamilton said, regarding Lepski with his cold, cynical eyes.
‘Hi, Pete! I’m showing the jacket. We don’t want it out of our hands.’
‘No problem. Okay, let’s go.’
‘Don’t I want make-up or something?’ Lepski asked anxiously.
Hamilton looked him over.
‘You’ll be fine as you are. Let’s go.’
He led Lepski into a brilliantly lit studio where cameras were set-up and a small army of technicians was lolling around.
‘I’m putting you on the first spot,’ Hamilton said. ‘All you have to do is to hold the jacket. I’ll do the talking. Let’s have a quick run through.’ He pointed to a table. ‘Stand behind that, and hold up the jacket.’
‘Wait a minute,’ Lepski said. ‘Should I wear my hat?’
Hamilton released a sigh.
‘All cops wear hats. Sure . . . wear it.’
Lepski positioned himself behind the table. Two technicians showed him how they wanted him to hold the jacket.
Cameras moved forward. Lepski braced himself. This was his moment!
Hamilton stared, then nodded.
‘Okay, relax. I’ll give you your cue.’ He looked at the wall clock. ‘Coming up.’ He went over to a chair and sat down. Another camera focussed on him.
Sweating slightly, Lepski waited. He was aware that Hamilton was talking, but his mind was elsewhere. He thought of Carroll, waiting. He thought of his fink neighbours also waiting. Boy! Wouldn’t he make a goddamn impression!
Then he heard Hamilton say, ‘This is the jacket the police want to identify.’
A bearded youth signalled to Lepski who wasn’t sure what expression he should wear. He decided the stern cop rather than the grinning cop was the thing. He turned on his ferocious expression as the camera zoomed in. The bearded youth signalled him to hold it, and Lepski changed his expression from ferocious to looking friendly.
‘Anyone recognizing this jacket,’ Hamilton was saying, ‘who has any information, no matter how trivial, about this jacket should contact the police headquarters.’
The camera moved away. The bearded youth signalled to Lepski it was over, and Lepski folded the jacket and drew in a sigh of satisfaction.