What I Didn't Say (25 page)

The next day I contacted Mr. Carol.  While I’d always worked in trade for flying time before, he was more than willing to let me start working for just good old regular money.  He said I could come by that afternoon and work on some projects.

Sam asked if I wanted to come over to the motorhome after school that day, but I told her I had some stuff I had to take care of.  I didn’t like lying to her, but I didn’t really want to tell her that I’d gotten a job just to help her out.

It wasn’t too hard dodging her every afternoon the rest of the week.  She was swamped with homework and she had to keep up her perfect grades.  And I knew I was a distraction.

It was kind of nice, working for Mr. Carol again, even if it was only temporarily.  He’d always felt kind of like an uncle.  A very rich and powerful uncle.  The man had a lot of money and a very big house.  He also had endless projects around that big house that he’d start and then get too busy working on some new case to finish.  That’s where I came in.

I’d done a ton of landscaping in Mr. Carol’s yard.  I’d helped him retile his bathroom.  I had even painted his kitchen cabinets, though I never did understand why he wanted them painted black.  They’d been really nice before.

It was weird little projects like that I would do for him.  And he paid me pretty well for it.

By the time Friday rolled around, I had changed all of Mr. Carol’s light bulbs in the entire house to more energy efficient ones.  It was a big house and there were a
lot
of bulbs to change.  I had painted his theater room dark red, and fixed the baseboards in two of the bedrooms.  By the weekend I had earned almost three hundred dollars to take Sam to buy some new clothes.  I told her I had a surprise for her on Saturday and that she needed to be ready to be gone the entire day.

I picked Sam up around eight on Saturday and we headed for the ferry.  She looked tired, as usual.  She’d been up until two, doing homework for that rich girl for a few bucks.  I hated that she had to do what she was doing, but respected that she was taking care of herself.

We pulled into the ferry landing just a few minutes before the boat glided into the dock.  There wasn’t a whole lot that was nice about Orcas in the winter, but the lack of tourists trying to get on the boat was a definite plus.  In the summer you had to show up at least an hour before boarding time to make sure you got on.  Getting overloaded and bumped to the next ferry hours later sucked.

“Where are you taking me?” Sam asked with a chuckle after we parked on the ferry and walked up to the passenger deck.  We settled into a seat right by the window so we could look out over the chilly water.  The sky was overcast, as it was most of the time in the winter.

Surprise,
I signed.  Slowly, very slowly, I was getting better at sign language.  It felt a little pointless at times though.  It only did me any good if the person I was signing to actually understood sign language, and that wasn’t anyone outside my family, Kali, or Samantha.

“I don’t usually like surprises,” she said with a sly smile, taking my hand into hers.  “But I’ll make an exception for you.”

I pressed a kiss to her temple, a smile spreading on her face.  The Jake smile.

Sam laid her head on my shoulder, snuggling into my side.  She launched into stories about her mom.  About how she always made cinnamon rolls Christmas morning.  About how they went to Disneyland once when she was eight, just the two of them.  They’d saved for months to afford to go.  The two of them really had been best friends.  They were all each other had.

I didn’t think I’d ever admired anyone as much as I did Sam.  A lot of people wouldn’t be able to go on living life after losing their only family like that.  A lot of people probably would have given up.  They would have just gone back to their dad and lived a crappy life until they turned eighteen.  Instead Sam was taking charge, living the life she had always planned to live.

There was so much more I wished I could do for her, more than just get a few bucks to take her shopping.  But I had to take things one step at a time.  I’d do what I could do.

We just needed to keep her secret hidden for another eight weeks, and then we wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.

The closest mall from the ferry landing was about a half an hour away.  The Burlington Mall wasn’t exactly big, but it would do.  Sam gave me a cautious look as we pulled in.

“Jake,” she said, shaking her head.  “I don’t have any money to go shopping.”

Grabbing the notebook, I wrote,
My treat.

“Jake,” she said with a pained sounding sigh.  “I can’t just let you go around buying me things.  It’s not your job to take care of me.”

But I like taking care of you.

She kept looking at me, her eyes serious and sad.  Finally I saw them soften.  A smile spreading on my face, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers.

I kept watching Samantha’s face as we slowly made our way through the stores.  She considered everything so carefully, like she knew whatever she got that day had to last her for who knew how long.  She’d run her fingers over the fabric, seeming to appreciate how crisp and new everything was.

It made me sad to see her like that.  She was just one step above what homeless Kali was.  Yet I knew this was one of those experiences for me that made you grow as a person.  This was one of those times that made you put things in perspective and appreciate everything you had.

Hand in hand, the two of us walked between the stores. We passed a poster of a mostly naked woman hugging herself.  A sly smile spreading on her face, Sam pulled me into the store.

It was like a giant pink monster had barfed in the store and someone decided it was a good place to set up shop.  I couldn’t walk anywhere without bumping into a rack of bras that didn’t require real boobs to go in them, or bins full of panties that were more like kite strings than things to call underwear. 

Sam browsed slowly, gawking at the high price tags.  When she came upon a silky sea green set, I knew I couldn’t protest against the dollar amount.

Try it on,
I wrote, blushing as I did.  I wasn’t quite sure we were in a place in our relationship that we could talk about this kind of thing.  I had seen her in next to nothing, but it wasn’t like we’d ever had sex.

That smile crossed her face again as she considered it.  The sexy Sam smile.  Grabbing the matching bra and panties, we made our way toward the back of the store to where the dressing rooms were.

I was about to wait outside when one of the workers spotted Sam about to walk in by herself.

“You’re welcome to go in the changing rooms as well, if you want,” she said, as innocently as if she was telling me it might rain that afternoon.

I kind of did this choking, silent laugh, covering my mouth and the awkward, cheesy smile that spread there.  Sam stopped when the woman spoke, the sexy Sam smile spreading again.  I could feel my face burning red when she took two steps back toward me.  She grabbed the front of my shirt, bunching it in her hand, and pulled me into the dressing room.

“Guess if you’re buying it’s got to have your approval,” she said as she raised one eyebrow and shut the door behind us.

It felt like my face was on fire as I sat down on the little bench.  It was a huge dressing room.  It must have accommodated two people often.

Turning her back to me, Sam slid her jacket off, followed by her long sleeved t-shirt.  She half glanced back at me as she reached back and popped the snap on her faded pink bra.

One of my knees started bouncing up and down by itself.  I couldn’t keep my eyes off of Sam’s curves, not that she had many left those days.  I wanted to trace my fingers down her spine but kept them securely pinned between my knees.

After getting the new bra snapped, Sam looked over her shoulder.  “You’re going to have to close your eyes for this next part.”

I thought I was going to die right then and there when I realized Sam was going to be about eighteen inches away from me with no pants and no panties on.

“So,” she said a few moments later.  “What do you think?”

Slowly, I let my eyes slide open, my heart seeming to skip a beat.  Sam stood facing me, in all her barely clothed glory.  The shade of green against her skin seemed to make her glow.  I bit my lower lip to keep my tongue from falling out of my mouth.

“Guess that means you like it?” she said, that new smile spreading on her face.

I could only nod, reaching for her hips to guide her in my direction.  She kneeled on the bench, a leg on either side of mine.  My lips found their way to her throat, my entire body feeling alive and free.

Sam’s fingers knotted in my hair as she tipped her head back, letting me continue to explore all that glorious skin of hers.

Somehow we made it out of that changing stall with our virginity intact, but with me walking pretty uncomfortably.  I couldn’t keep my mind from wandering back to that image of Sam, an image that would be gloriously engraved into my memory forever.

“I feel so spoiled,” Sam said as we headed back out to the car just as the sky started to darken.  “I don’t think I’ve gotten new clothes since the beginning of last school year.”

I pressed a kiss to her cheek, hoping the message of
you deserve it
got through.

My phone vibrated as we headed back to Anacortes to catch the six o’clock ferry back.  Very illegally, I pulled it out and checked the text message.  It was from Norah.

You hanging out with that girlfriend of yours tomorrow?  Or would you like to come over and have some real fun at my party?

I just shook my head as I put the phone away. 

Wow…
 

I’d never met someone who didn’t get what
no
meant more than her.  Norah didn’t seem to care one bit that I had a girlfriend.

The water was pretty choppy as the ferry carried us back to Orcas Island.  Sam and I just stayed in the car, the both of us lying on the backseat, enjoying the feel of the waves beneath a few hundred thousand tons of steel.  Our notebook rested on the floor below us, another page mysteriously ripped out.

We seemed to have fallen into the habit of being quiet whenever we drove somewhere.  It was easier.  It was pretty impossible for me to write anything while I drove, and for some reason signing with Sam felt too… impersonal.  So we drove silently back to the motorhome.

“Look at all this,” Sam chuckled as I parked next to the motorhome and popped the back hatch to get her things.

You’ll have to model a few things for me,
I wrote on the back of my hand, our notebook still sitting in the back seat of the car.

She raised one eyebrow at me again, the sexy Sam smile spreading.  “Well then, come on in.”

My entire body jumped to life again as I followed her inside.

This was a dangerous road we were on tonight.  I could feel things escalating and I wasn’t sure where I wanted to or where I
should
draw the line.

“So what shall I try on first?” Sam asked as I closed the door behind us and set the bags on her cluttered tiny table.

Peeking into the bags we had just brought inside, I reached for three items.

“Interesting choice, Mr. Hayes,” she said, taking them from me and walking back into her bedroom.

I pulled my coat off and threw it onto the back of the dining table chair.  Checking my breath by breathing into my hand, I waited excited and nervous for Sam to make a reappearance.

Finally Sam opened the door again, standing with her arms braced in the doorway.  She wore that sexy green number again, and a pair of dark wash jeans.  And nothing else.