The Weight of Destiny (21 page)

Maybe I already am like my mom, different people in one body.

My eyes dart to the window when there’s a little knock on it. Ryder’s there. He nods backward like he’s telling me to get out. A small smile teases his lips, only the left side tilted up almost…nervous.

But that’s not what has me entranced…okay, not the
only
thing. Ryder in a suit is gorgeous.

He’s still the same Ryder—still with the two piercings in his bottom lip. The same longish, messy black hair that’s slightly wavy. The same mismatched eyes. In many ways, he still doesn’t look like one single boy at my school. There’s a roughness to him, a different look in his eyes, like he’s seen more than anyone I know…but he looks softer, as well. Like he doesn’t know just how good he looks.

He nods backward again, and then tugs on the collar of his suit as though it’s annoying him. My breath catches in my throat.

Obviously tired of waiting for me, Ryder opens the door. I get out, and suddenly wish I would have had him pick me up at home. That he could have come to my door, and met my dad.

“Hey,” he says, almost shyly when I get out of my car.

“Hey, yourself.”

“You look…” He eyes me from head to toe, and I swear I feel it. Ryder puts a hand on my right side, fingers the fabric of my short dress where it dips at my waist. He brushes his other hand over my shoulders that are bare, and I shiver. He wraps one of the tendrils of hair that I left hanging in front around his finger. Most of my hair is tied back in a bun, but I had Hailey leave a few random curls because I like it when he touches them. “Like the most beautiful girl in the world.”

“Wow…” I don’t mean for the word to come out, but seriously, a compliment like that? How can I not be in shock by it?

“Didn’t sound like me? How about…Holy shit, you’re hot.” Ryder winks and I laugh.

“Holy shit, you’re hot, too.”

“Whoa… Watch your language or I’m going to think I’m a bad influence on you. Come on. Luke wants to see us.”

A pang lands in my gut. I’m the thief now, a girl named Thief because I stole these moments from both Mom and Dad—pictures of me going to Homecoming with the boy I love.

Ryder grabs my hand and leads me to the front porch. Luke is standing there with his cell phone. He takes a few pictures and Ryder grumbles the whole time.

I don’t.

“Can you text those to Ryder so I can have them?” I ask his brother.

“Yeah, of course. No problem.” And then he looks at Ryder. Luke hands him keys and then nods at him. Ryder returns it, and I know they’re passing a million silent messages between them.

“Do you mind if we leave your car here, and I drive? I know yours is better than Luke’s, but—”

“No. I don’t mind, I mean.” I make a quick stop at my car for my sneakers. I don’t walk well in heels, and the second the dance is over, I’ll want to take them off.

We’re quiet most of our drive to the restaurant. My friends asked us to go to dinner with them, but I figured maybe it would be easier if we went alone—kind of work into the evening, because I know this isn’t going to be easy for Ryder.

I hope he has fun. Jamie and Hailey are my best friends. I want him to like them, even though they couldn’t be more different from his friends.

Dinner isn’t much better. First he realizes he forgot the corsage, then he spills his water, gets irritated and cusses too loud. An old couple from the table next to us shakes their heads at him.

“What, you don’t curse?” I ask them, which makes Ryder’s eyes go wide. The couple looks away.

By the time we get to the dance, I’m about ready to tell him he doesn’t have to go. “I don’t want this to be torture for you. Maybe it was a stupid idea…”

“I don’t do this kind of shit, Virginia. I’ve never gone to one of my school dances. I just…I want tonight to be perfect for you.”

That’s when I realize what’s wrong. I’m not a girl named Perfect, and I don’t need the night to be that, either. Turning in the passenger seat, I click on the interior light. The dinner, my corsage, the suit… “You don’t need to make this night perfect for me. I don’t want you to try and be someone else, because…because I’m in love with the person you really are.”

It’s almost like someone hit a button, making Ryder’s movements slow-motion. He looks up from whatever he’d been focused on. There’s a storm in his eyes that I can’t read. I want to shelter him from it.

“I love you, too.” His hand cups my cheek, and for the first time tonight, he kisses me. My tongue traces his piercings before slipping into his mouth. And then he’s tasting me, and I’m tasting him, and I want to tell him he did what he said. He made tonight perfect.

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

~Ryder~

The girls at the door taking tickets look at me funny but I don’t care.

The building is decked out and decorated like the president is coming or something, but I don’t let that bother me, either. I’m where I want to be, at my girl’s side, and screw anyone who has a problem with it.

“Your school is ridiculous,” I whisper in Virginia’s ear.

“So you told me before; and we’re not even at the school.”

“Yeah, but your school
did
this. My school probably doesn’t even have a yearly budget as big as yours for this one dance.”

We’re walking through the room. Music is blasting through the speakers. People are dancing, standing, sitting, talking, and I’m just going with her. I have no idea where.

“I have been responsible for putting on most of these, you know.”

I bump her hip so she knows I’m joking. “Then you’re ridiculous, too.”

“Lulu!” A girl screams and it takes me a minute to figure out they’re talking to Virginia. How can anyone call her Lulu? It’s not her.

“I knew they’d find me the second we got here. My friends are freaking out to meet you.” There’s a slight tremble to her voice. I get it. I was a little freaked when she met my friends.

“Do we have time to run?”

Two girls skid to a stop in front of us as Virginia says, “No.”

And then they stare at me. I have no clue what the hell their looks mean, but I’m pretty sure it's not good.

“Hey.” I nod. “They’re piercings. They’re supposed to be there.”

“Ryder!” Virginia slaps my arm, but I hear the laugh in her voice. Two guys stand behind her friends; their dates, I’m assuming.

“Ryder, this is Jamie,” she points to the girl with dark skin and braids. “And this is Hailey. Behind them are Juan and Danny. Guys, this is Ryder.”

“Nice to meet you guys.” The girls are still in some kind of trance so I shake Danny, then Juan’s, hand. “What’s up, man?”

“What’s up?” they each reply, right before Hailey speaks.

“Your eyes are two different colors! That’s so cool.”

As soon as she says that, I know everything is going to be okay.

Virginia and I sit with them at their table. The girls start talking about colors and decorations, and that’s when I zone out. Then, they do that thing I will never understand—they all go to the bathroom together.

There’s never once been a time I asked Shane, Tanner or Cody to take a piss with me.

“Do you live around here?” Juan asks.

I scratch my forehead before replying. “Yeah, in Henderson. Not too far from here.” Might as well be the other side of the world, though.

“Where’d you and Lulu meet? We didn’t even know she was with anyone until her friends told Mike not to ask her to the dance.”

I look at Danny as Juan elbows him. “Nice, man. Mike asked someone else. It’s not a big deal.”

It’s not something I’m worried about so I don’t comment on that. “The beach.”

Arms wrap around my neck from behind. “Dance with me,” Virginia says as her girlfriends go, “Awww!”

This school is so fucking weird.

“I’m not really a dancer.” Still, I stand up. “Tanner’s the one who does that.”

“I heard.” We find an empty space on the floor.

“Yeah, he’s totally into it. Mostly break dancing and hip hop, but he knows a little bit of it all.”

The longer we dance, the tighter the stupid collar feels around my neck. I would do anything to take this suit off. How in the hell do the other guys here not seem bothered by theirs?

It’s fun watching Virginia dance. She lets go. She’s not the girl who is obsessed with her homework or all the ways she needs to be responsible. She’s…free. I want to be free with her.

Every so often we go sit with her friends but it is never long before she wants to dance again. I’m at the table with Juan and Danny when the girls take Virginia to go dance by themselves. Her hair is starting to fall out of the tie-thing. It’s a little wet with sweat around the edges, but I like that. Like she’s having so much fun she’s working up a sweat.

Jamie whispers something to Virginia, who nods her head excitedly. Hailey says something next and they all drop their heads back and laugh. I swear I feel the vibrations from it floating on the airwaves to me.

“I don’t think they even need us here,” Danny says.

“No shit.” But that’s okay. It’s cool seeing her in her element—with her friends, at something for her school. I didn’t know that part of her until tonight.

“They’ll be announcing the Homecoming King and Queen soon. I’m sure it will be Mike and Lulu.”

At that, I whip my head toward Juan, my muscles seizing up a bit. “Really?” I don’t know whether that’s cool or not. Actually, I do. If that’s what Virginia wants, I hope she gets it. I just sort of wish it wouldn’t be with that Mike guy.

This time, Danny replies. “Yeah. I’m sure his new girlfriend isn’t real stoked about that, either.”

“Nah, I’m cool.” Kind of. Not because I don’t trust her or would be pissed at her, but because I’ll never be that person.

The music cuts out. “Alright, ladies and gentlemen, it’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for. It’s time to announce your Homecoming King and Queen!”

Virginia stops what she’s doing, looks at me, and then walks my way. She knows it might be her.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask her when she reaches me.

“I didn’t want to give you a reason not to come… I’m sorry. That was wrong.” And then she mumbles something that sounds like, “There once was a girl named Fear…”

“Hey, com’ere.” I pull her to my chest. My chin rests on her head, and I’m holding her. “It’s cool… I just might have to kick his ass after the dance.” Her chest vibrates against mine and I know she’s laughing. I love that she doesn’t freak out, that she knows when I’m kidding.

That she doesn’t pull away or ask me to let her go as whoever the guy who’s talking opens up an envelope like we’re at the fucking Oscars or something.

“Ladies first… Your senior class Homecoming Queen is Lulu Nichols!”

Seriously, what the hell is up with this school? I feel like I’m in a movie or something. They spotlight us. I kiss her forehead and she squeezes me before letting go. Everyone is clapping, and the light follows her as she walks up to the stage. The old guy up there puts a crown on her head, and she smiles. Then my hands are hitting together and I’m clapping for her, too.

I sort of blur out after that. They call the Mike guy’s name and everyone cheers for him. He gets another fucked up crown, and then they say it’s time for the King and Queen to dance.

Oh. I didn’t know about that part.

Virginia locks eyes with me and I see it there. She’s unsure what to do, but I know her. She doesn’t want to cause a scene…and she shouldn’t. Not over this. It’s one stupid dance, so I nod and clap louder, even though I suddenly wish I really could kick Mike’s ass.

There’s space between them. She doesn’t hold him tight or put her head against his chest or anything like that, but it still makes my heart hurt to see her with him. Because she fits with the douchebag. He’s the guy who wouldn’t have to make a screwed up deal with his brother to go to school and do his homework just so he could afford to take her to the dance.

But then…there’s a part of me who is sort of proud I did that as well. Proud Luke offered, and proud it was important enough to me to accept.

The song ends and it moves into another slow one. This one’s mine. I head her way just as she turns to me. I smile at her so she doesn’t think I’m pissed or hurt because of the dance.

“I get the rest of them.” I pull her close.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You’re holding me way tighter than you did him.” And she is. I let my hands touch all the skin I can on her shoulders and upper back. I move them up and down her spine, touching dress now as her hands fist in my suit.

“Thank you, Ryder.”

“For what?” I ask her.

“Everything. Tonight was perfect. What…what are your friends doing tonight? I want to hang out with them, the way you hung out with mine…and then…my dad isn’t expecting me home tonight. I told him I’m staying with Jamie.”

Holy. Shit. Is she saying what I think she is? “You can…if you want to. Stay with Jamie.”

“I don’t…want to.”

Thank God. “Okay, sure. Whatever you want. I can sneak you past Luke, and if you want, I can stay on the couch or whatever. Just let me know, okay?” Because I don’t want to push her. I don’t want her to think I expect anything.

But she stops dancing and looks right into my eyes. “I don’t want you on the couch.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

~Virginia~

Ryder drives to a house that’s in the middle of nowhere. It’s closer to his house than it is mine. We’re still in the car, and the music from the house is so loud I’m vibrating.

“I’m cool if you want to go somewhere else.” The car is still running and I shake my head at him.

“No, it’s okay. This night has been awesome. I want to keep it going. Things didn’t go so well last time I hung out with your friends. Maybe it will go better this time.” And maybe I’m stalling as well. I wasn’t lying when I told Ryder I want to stay at his house, that I want to stay with him. I do. I’ve known it for a while now, but that doesn’t mean I’m not nervous.