The Luminosity Series (Book 1): Luminosity (14 page)

My vision doubled upon waking. My head rested against
a large table, my hands twisted behind my back. Handcuffed to a chair, my
memory was still a fog. The only feeling I could recall was the sinking sensation
during my descent. Then it hit me. I was sedated. Put to rest. Calmed into
obedience. But nothing would suppress me long enough. My skull throbbed as I
raised it from the table, blinking repetitively to wash away the dry sting. My
heart pummeled inside my rib cage. I was jittery, and breathing felt
impossible.

As I took a sharp breath and closed my eyes, a door
beside me swung open, revealing the two military guards who had brought me
here. I recognized their merciless faces, tense and fixated on me. The nature
in which they stared at me, in such aversion, the way their black boots collided
with the floor snapped me into attention. Ready to employ whatever scare
tactics they could to coerce me, I froze. My lip quivered, frightened of what
was about to happen. I battled to readjust my posture. But it was no use.

“Aubrey Rae Adams…” the soldier to my right said as he
dragged up a chair. I glimpsed at the other guard already glaring at me. Then I
peeked back at the first man, waiting for him to continue. “Do you have any
idea the consequences of obstructing regulations?” he asked. Of course I did.
Everyone did. And why he even required to ask was absurd, but all I could do
was nod my head, evading his rigid gaze. “Then I’m sure you understand that you
must be held liable for your attempts at interfering with hospital operations,”
he said. I pressed my eyes shut as tears seeped down my face.

“No. I don’t understand,” I sassed in a grimace,
realizing my attitude would only result in more torment.

“Don’t make this harder for yourself. You’re in hot
water as it is. And your mother’s caused trouble here before. Many families
with an account of insubordinate acts will not end up qualifying. For the sake
of your future, it would be wise to cooperate,” the soldier said. I swallowed.

“That man didn’t deserve to die,” I said, blinking coldly
as the aggravation flowed through me like an endless river. The soldiers peered
at one another before facing me again. I struggled to hide the anxiety, my
weakness, but my body wouldn’t stop shuddering.

“Ms. Adams, if we uncover evidence of you looting
drugs from this facility, or being too generous with dosages, you will be
sentenced to maximum punishment in a prisoner’s camp,” he said.

“I did everything I was told to do. I swear,” I choked
on tears. In my mind, the images flashed back into memory now. The day I left.
My mother’s resistance. The spasms of guilt when I returned. Desolation. The
barricades closing behind me, reminding me of a prison, returning here without
the possibility of ever leaving again. But I’d always be trapped by my regret.
It was a heavy thing. Like quicksand, once its grasp took hold of you, there
was no escape.

“Aubrey Rae Adams, under federal regulation, I am
revoking your labor duties from this hospital. At the end of two months, you
will be reassigned only if you have successfully completed correctional
counseling. If your counselor reports signs of behavioral improvement, your
qualification status won’t be affected. If you fail to improve after the timeframe
required, you’ll be taken to a nearby facility and placed in solitary hold
until we find a suitable place for you. Is this understood?” the soldier asked
in an abrasive voice. In an instant, the room narrowed in on me. The pressure
around my wrists released as the other soldier removed the cuffs. In tears, I
massaged my forearms, analyzing the marks resulting from their grasp. “Ms.
Adams?” I nodded in agreement as I allowed the pain to dwell dormant inside me.

The two soldiers left me alone in a state of
intensity. I aimed my lifeless gaze at the wall, the guilt overwhelming me as
my thoughts drifted back to Charlie. I burst into a cry, gasping on air,
leaning my head forward as I pounded my fist onto the table. Ruining my own
chances at qualification seemed like a small sacrifice compared to his death.
But the colony qualification wasn’t even my biggest fear. It was the worry that
one day, everyone who made my life worth fighting for would be gone.

“You shouldn’t be crying. They let you off easy… just
like your mother,” Sonya said in a breathy voice as she entered the room. My
head turned to her in shock. Sonya looked at me with an exhausted expression.
She took a seat beside me from the other side of the table, her chair
scratching across the floor, creating an obnoxious screech. I winced as my
pulse shot higher. She leaned forward, clasping her fingers together as if to
pray while attempting to look me in the eye. The fluorescent lights buzzed
above us, still flickering from their lack of use.

“How dare you…” I said, wincing at her in disbelief.

“I did you a favor. If I hadn’t put in an encouraging
word, they would have sent you away for good. I wasn’t going to let you get
away that easily. You see? There’s no action that goes without consequence here,
Aubrey. Somebody always has to pay. Luckily, in your case, it was Charlie who
lost his life because of this, not a young woman like you. But next time you
might not be so fortunate,” she explained. By now I was out of my mind with fury,
letting out breath after breath as I stood up from the chair and placed my hand
across my forehead.

“We’re not done. Sit back down,” Sonya demanded.

“So I’m supposed to thank you? We could have saved
that man and you know it!”

“It’s disheartening when you become a witness to other
people’s hostility, but this is just how it is now. There is no room for
resistance against authority in this society. And what you did was an act of
defiance. It was unacceptable,” Sonya said.

“Compared to what? The murdering of infants and innocent
patients?” I asked in disgust.

“I told you before. We have regulations for a reason,”
she said.

“Yeah? Well, the purpose of those rules doesn’t
justify their existence. Those so-called laws are only there because they need
an excuse to define their actions. No one will ever benefit from this
corruption. Not when they’re killing the only people they have left and
punishing the rest,” I lashed out.

“You’re only hurting yourself by acting this way. You
are a low level civilian. You’re not capable of changing the ways of this
world. That kind of mentality will make you a target. If you do not adapt under
their rule, you’ll never make it out of this. Do you understand me?”

“Isn’t that the whole point? To weed out the people
who still question them? They’re not giving civilians a chance to survive,
they’re leading them all to an early death.” By now, my breathing had gotten
heavier, denser.

“You’re a smart young lady, Aubrey, a woman with
morals. But going against regulations is not wise. You either adapt or you
don’t. It’s up to you to decide,” Sonya said. I took a deep breath. My lips quavered
in hatred before the words slipped from my tongue.

“You’re wrong.
They
decide whether we live or
we die. But we bear the consequences. We bow our heads in silence while
innocent, deserving people find out they’re not worthy of survival. We deny the
truth, because we’re too greedy to accept that what we’re doing right now is
ruining our future. And if we still can’t understand that, then we have no
future,” I spit out.

Furious, I couldn’t endure another word of opposition.
Sonya swallowed as she arose from the table, overwhelmed by my speech. I held
back tears as I clutched the chair to pull myself up. Towering above her, I
gave her a sarcastic salute before charging through the door of the small
containment room.

♦  ♦  ♦

I had a new sense of appreciation for the burning sun
as it beat down on me through my window the next morning. In my nightmares, I
almost understood the parallel—the rage of endless fire within me. But after
that day, it was fading. My hopelessness fed the panic. The worry. The need to
find him. To know Evan was okay.

I shot up from my bed from a knock on the door.
Peering out the window, I expected to see Evan’s jeep, but instead, Janelle’s
old beat-up sedan sat in front of the house. Without thinking, I threw on some
clothes and ran my fingers through my messy hair, rushing down the stairs as
her shouts became clearer.

“It’s me! Open up!” Janelle yelled. As I turned the
knob, she let out a relieved sigh as she peered around me, as if expecting to
see my mother.

“Don’t worry. She’s not here,” I said.

“I heard you got in trouble last night. What the hell
did you do, Aubrey?” she huffed, closing the door behind her. I sighed, looking
toward the floor.

“I tried to stop an injection.” I wiped the tears
away.

“So you resisted against the guards?”

“Yes, Janelle. I resisted.”

“What were you thinking?” she lashed out.

“It was a trap. How was I supposed to react? They
killed an innocent man in front of me,” I said. Janelle shook her head.

“But you didn’t have to make it worse by sacrificing
your
future!” she shouted.

“I had to do something. I couldn’t just stand there
and watch. Besides, my chances don’t matter anymore. This was a test. Someone
must’ve set me up on purpose. You said it yourself, Janelle. They’re picking
people off.”

“You’re so much like your mom.” She shook her head,
putting one hand over her mouth before speaking again.

“What is
that
supposed to mean?”

“My god, Aubrey. I used to think I was the one who had
trouble with authority. I never should have told you about the tunnel. Maybe
none of this would have happened,” Janelle said.

“Oh, so now that’s my fault too? You’re the one who told
me about it,” I said, blinking away the tears.

“Still, you should’ve talked to me before you risked
going after us.” She winced, shaking her head.

“I didn’t want to involve everyone else if I got
caught.”

“We
all
almost got caught that night. And it’s
because we weren’t being smart about what we were doing. You didn’t have to
throw yourself into danger just to make up for leaving,” Janelle said in a low
voice, her eyelids fluttering in disbelief.

“You know why I went out there? I went out there
because I was afraid you were right about this place,” I scowled at her.

“Well, maybe you need to be more concerned with
yourself. What about the qualification? What are you going to do now?”

“I don’t know…” I blinked shamefully.

“Wow. You’ve really messed things up, haven’t you? I
mean, you’ve become a distraction to everyone in town,” Janelle said.

“Then I guess that’s my concern, not yours,” I sobbed.

“Yeah, I guess so,” she snapped. I was mortified with
her accusations. But I didn’t have time to argue, nor did she.

“Can we please not do this right now? Did you see Evan
or Jake yet?” I asked, wiping the guilt from my face. Janelle sighed in
surrender.

“No, and I can’t find Aaron either. Everyone’s too
busy buzzing about what happened at the hospital,” she snapped with a sigh.
With tight lips, I spun around in a panic before grabbing my sweatshirt and
keys. Rushing past her, I pushed my hair behind my shoulder as I bolted down
the porch.

“What are you doing? Where are you going?” Janelle
called. I reached the passenger side before yelling back at her.

“I’m going to find them. Are you driving or am I?” I
asked, still tense. Janelle nodded stubbornly before barreling after me.

We couldn’t avoid the guards. Cedar Ridge now had its
own set of barricades. I sat with Janelle in the car, eager to get to Evan’s.
At the gate, the guard handed back our identification cards and signaled the
other soldier with a hand symbol.

“Clear!” He waved for us to proceed forward. A loud
buzz came from the barrier fence before it inched apart at a turtle-like pace.
I bit my lip as Janelle tapped the gas pedal, trying not to look anxious, but
inside, I was dying of impatience.

Evan’s house was on the far point of Cedar Ridge. To
disguise her vehicle from the military trucks waiting at the end of the
cul-de-sac, Janelle parked between the flimsy, contorted branches of a dead
tree. It didn’t take long to detect the solitude. Up here, it was relatively
peaceful as birds chirped in the trees. But the overabundance of black crows
pecking at the loose garbage revealed the ugliness of the present day.

His father’s home now remained the only residence on
the entire block that hadn’t been tainted with a red X. The warmth of its log
exterior and quaint, private feel made it almost inviting.

As we prepared to dash across the cracked pavement, I
spotted another car sitting farther down the street. Not noticing it before, I
cursed myself as I peered at Janelle, who looked ready to hurl forward.

“Aubrey, come on,” she said, pushing ahead. Janelle
had already reached the other side when I caught Evan’s front door wide open,
swinging in the breeze. Panicked by the sight of it, I made a beeline from the sidewalk
to the entrance. I stepped ahead of Janelle, who seemed paralyzed, afraid of
what we’d find inside.

“Evan?” I called, letting myself in. Smashed dishes
and broken bottles on the kitchen floor signaled conflict. Janelle stood behind
me, her eyes broad. That’s when I overheard the shout of Jake’s insufferable hailing
coming from a different room.

“I don’t care. I told you that I wasn’t going to stick
around when shit hit the fan again. You messed this up, Evan. Just admit it.
Instead of coming with me, you left me there to die. At least now I know who
really has my back,” Jake said from behind the wall.

“Evan!” I burst through the hallway leading into the
great room. The emptiness of the room created an echo, his fierce voice ringing
in my ear like an agonizing reminder. Ahead of me, Evan towered over Jake, who
was leaning on his side against the floor, wiping the blood from his cheek onto
his sleeve. Jake’s thick, curly brown hair was a mangled mess atop his head. He
looked horrifyingly thin, his skeletal body structure a display of hunger and
suffrage.

“Yeah, I guess so! Because I’m the only person left
who has the patience to defend your stupidity,” Evan snapped, looking Jake in
the eye. Both of them caught their breath as if they had just finished their
scuffle. The ends of Evan’s hair stuck to his face like glue. Jake looked
hysterical, in tears, his cheeks red with exhaustion and eyes lost by their
separation as he nodded his head.

“I don’t need you to stick up for me, Ev. I’m already
dead. And so are you,” Jake said in a shaky undertone, brushing off his pants
as he stood back up. Evan glanced to me as Janelle entered the room, cautious
of their confrontation.

“Do you have any idea what you’re doing? The people
you’re giving up on?” Evan roared in hostility, shoving Jake against a wall. I
flinched at Evan’s intensity, but I couldn’t blame him for his frustration. I’d
been upset with myself for years for the very same reason.

“I’m giving up nothing. The idiots who choose to stay
here, they’re the ones who have given up,” Jake said.

“Jake, you need to listen to me. You’re going to die
out there,” Evan said with a tight jaw, his nostrils widening. Jake shook his
head again and began a short chuckle that only worsened the tension.

“You think of yourself as a hero, Ev. Believing you
can change people like your saint of a father. But you’re a coward to believe
there’s a happy ending to this. No matter how many times you try, people always
disappoint you. Just like her.” Jake nodded back to me. I swallowed.

Evan grasped Jake by the collar, his fingers finding
their offensive grip on him. Suddenly, all the air breezing into my lungs
stopped as Evan examined me, a single tear forming in my eye. He didn’t pretend
to act surprised by my emotional attendance.

“So when’s it going to be enough? When will you
finally understand there’s nothing left to fight for? That people are
hopeless?” Jake expelled, struggling to breathe. Just then, Evan released him
from his hold. Jake stretched the neckband of his shirt, coughing away Evan’s
choking clutch. “Let’s face it… your father fell from that canyon for a reason.
And it was because he valued the life of some meaningless person more than his
family’s. He died because he was a coward. Don’t make the same mistake he did.”

“You asshole,” I scowled at him in a breathy wrath.
Just then, Janelle turned back around in confusion, grabbing me before I could
move forward. And that’s when Evan’s eyes veered to me, bouncing back to Jake
as his ruthless sneer invaded Evan’s vision.

“My father gave up his life trying to do the right
thing. He was far from being a coward,” Evan said. Beads of sweat accumulated
on his forehead as he searched Jake’s face for something worth defending.
Janelle’s fury unleashed in a death glare as she surveyed Jake’s deadpan
reaction in front of us.

“It’s too bad. All the money you lost... having to
finally experience what it’s like to scrape by with the rest of us.” Jake gave
him a detestable laugh. Evan’s eyelids fluttered in an infinite twitch.

“Leave him alone!” Janelle shouted with tears in her
eyes.

“What the hell is your problem? Can’t you see he’s
risked his life because of you?” I snapped, taking a step forward. Janelle held
me back a good distance from him.

“Because of me? You don’t know half the risks he’s
taken. And you were the biggest risk of them all, Aubrey,” Jake said.

“Shut up,” Evan snarled, lunging forward to clutch Jake’s
throat again, mercilessly. Janelle rocketed over to Evan in tears, struggling
to pull him back. I debated helping her, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it
after the vicious things he said. My eyes narrowed as Jake remained standing
there, still laughing as Evan freed him from his grip.

“I could never figure out why she was so important to
you. Now I get it. You’re just like your father, always trying to save someone.
But isn’t it pathetic when your efforts are wasted on people who
choose
to leave you behind?” Jake snapped.

My heart broke as Evan reached his hands out, launching
Jake into the wall. Evan swung his fist out, knocking him in the jaw with a sudden
snap. The jolt sent him backward, propelling him hard onto the floor after his
back smeared the wall. By the time Janelle and I reached them, Evan was crouching
over him, striking him two more times, the impact creating a disturbing thud
against his bones that seemed to linger in my memory moments after. Jake was
nearing unconsciousness before Janelle could intervene. Shocked by his defensive
reaction, my body stung from the surge of adrenaline. When I caught a glimpse
of him, Evan’s face was as red as fire as Janelle pulled him back up. Jake rose
from the floor, blood seeping down the side of his nostril from the force of
Evan’s blow.

“You want to leave me behind? Leave. And I better not
see your fucking face around here again or I swear to god I’ll make you regret
it,” Evan heaved spitefully before turning around, ending the fight. I stood in
disbelief of what just happened. Jake had always been less fortunate than most,
but I never thought I’d witness the coldness, the numbness and lack of
sensitivity that came from him that day.

“Come on,” I said to Evan, grabbing his arm as I tried
to pull him out of the room. He complied, keeping his troubled eyes on the
floor, his breathing labored.

“Get out, before I get the guards!” Janelle snapped to
Jake. He stumbled out the door, nursing his injured jaw before spitting blood
onto the ground outside.

“What happened? Why was he here?” I asked, giving Evan
a look of shock. He sighed. 

“Janelle, I need to talk to Aubrey for a second. Can
you go make sure he leaves?” he asked. She seemed upset by her exclusion,
rolling her eyes before storming out the front door in a huff.

Evan stomped past me in fury. After I followed him
into the kitchen, he slammed one fist onto the counter. I jumped at the sound
of its bang. He leaned his head against the cabinets, taking in a deep breath
before facing me again. I blinked in impatience as he ignored my question.

“Hey! Why weren’t you at the fields? Just tell me the
truth.” Evan adjusted his posture upright against the counter.

“Aubs… this isn’t your problem,” he sighed.

“I can’t believe you’d risk going back out there
after—after him!” I shook my head.

“I didn’t, okay? He showed up at my house this morning
right after Aaron showed up. Jake was pissed when he found out I wasn’t going
to go out there anymore. He accused me of being a traitor,” he said.

“Why? Because you didn’t want to get caught?” I asked
in disbelief.

“It’s been his plan all along to leave the
territories, but he was waiting for me to change my mind and go with him. When
I told him I was staying, he got hysterical. And then he blamed my decision on
you. I’m sorry,” he explained.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.

“Because I didn’t think he’d do it. And if Aaron found
out, he would have turned him in to authorities. Besides, I hoped to talk him
out of it. I figured after our run in with the military that night, he’d
understand by now he won’t make it out there. But he’s too damn stubborn,” he
said, blinking hard. Knowing he wasn’t entirely wrong to want to run, I
realized that maybe Jake and I had running away in common.

“But he’s the reason you didn’t show up at the supply
fields?” I asked with a forceful breath.

“It isn’t a big deal, Aubs. They let me off with a
warning.”

“A warning? What does that mean?”

“I lose my benefits for a month. That was the deal
they gave me,” he said. I faced the opposite direction to cover my mouth in
secrecy before he could speak another word. “Aubrey… It’s fine. I have plenty
of supplies,” he sighed, grabbing my arm as I spun back around.

“But it doesn’t make this right, Evan.”

“What’s done is done. So why argue?” He looked to me.

“Because the people you risk your life for don’t deserve
your sacrifice. You’re the one who deserves a chance, and you’re ruining it for
yourself,” I said.

“The people I risk my life for are all I have left,
regardless of how imperfect they are. I thought you understood that by now,” he
said, looking up from the ground as his eyes followed mine, studying me.

“I do, but you have to know when it’s your turn to
walk away,” I said, pulling my arm away in tears. And in that second, I knew he
never would.