Authors: Jo Cotterill
Megan didn't sleep well. Her room had stayed half painted and even though the window had been open, there was still a faint smell of fumes. Her head ached and she felt hotly guilty about what she had said to her parents. It wasn't their fault her dad's job had been so far away from home. And they
had
tried to make it as easy for her as possible. But now that she had started thinking about home, Megan found it hard to stop. There were so many memories . . .
. . . peering over the fence at the age of five, to see Jake prancing around the sun-baked garden completely naked . . .
. . . falling over in the playground and grazing the side of her face, and her friend Amanda rushing over to help, absolutely terrified . . .
. . . going to early ballroom lessons with Jake and bossing him around when he got it wrong . . .
. . . Jake's endless patience and good humour, even when she was being annoying . . .
. . . going to the end-of-year dance in the last year
of primary and Jake trying to kiss Amanda behind the Wendy House . . .
. . . Megan not speaking to Jake for a whole four hours as protest on behalf of Amanda . . .
. . . first day at secondary school and being so relieved to see the faces of her friends . . .
. . . the day Amanda fell off the vaulting horse in PE and broke her leg . . .
. . . taking part in the dance competition last year and Jake saying he wouldn't ever dance with anyone else . . .
. . . having to pack up everything in her old room and seeing it completely bare . . .
. . . saying goodbye to Jake . . .
Megan sat up, wiping tears from her face angrily. It was no good feeling sorry for herself, was it? She glanced at the clock. It was two in the morning. The house was quiet.
She texted Jake.
How RU? I am really missing home, things here not so gd 2day. Wish u cud hav come 2 stay.
Her thumb hesitated over the âsend' button. Was it really fair to send it? Jake already felt bad enough about not coming to stay, didn't he? And he was
worried about his stepdad's job. It made her worries look rather pathetic.
She bit her lip and deleted the message. Jake had enough to worry about. She would just have to pull herself together for the moment. And apologize to her parents in the morning.
âWE'RE GOING TO
do it on Sunday,' Danny told her at the park. It was Friday evening and the light was already fading. Megan shivered and wondered what time Samantha and Paul would want to get home and into the warm. Jasmine was nowhere to be seen, and Megan wondered if she had heard about the date at the theatre and was staying away on purpose.
âDo what?'
He looked exasperated. âThe jump. The one by the museum? Don't you remember?'
âOh!' Megan's expression cleared. âOf course I remember.'
Samantha, sitting on one of the ramps, examined her nails. âIt's the stupidest idea I've ever heard.'
Megan glanced at her curiously. âDon't you think he can do it?'
Samantha's gaze flicked up. âOf course he can't. He's an idiot. It'll be the swimming pool all over again.'
Megan looked bewildered. âSwimming pool?'
âRemember that time I told you about?' Danny glanced at her. âI hurt my knee a bit.'
Samantha snorted. âA bit? Nearly smashed your kneecap, you mean.' She turned back to Megan. âThey told him if that had happened, he probably wouldn't be able to walk again.'
Danny rolled his eyes. âSam's exaggerating. They can re-build knees these days, you know.'
âWhatever.'
âAnyway, that was over a year ago,' Danny told Megan. âI'm way better at jumps now.'
âAnd I'll be there,' added Paul.
âFilming the disaster,' commented Samantha. âVideo evidence to give to the police when they arrest him for dangerous activities or something.'
Megan shook her head. Why did Samantha have to make such personal digs at her brother? After all, the same could be said for Paul, surely? He liked skating and all the same things Danny did. If Samantha disapproved so much of these activities, why was she going out with him? âWhy are you here?' The words were out before she'd even thought about them.
Samantha's steely gaze swung across again, fixing her in its beam. âWhat do you mean?'
Megan sucked in her breath sharply. She hadn't
meant to say it out loud! âWell,' she said, trying to be polite, âit just seems a bit odd, that's all. You don't like skateboarding. And it's dark and getting cold out now. Why don't you just stay home?'
Megan hadn't thought Samantha could possibly look shocked by anything. Her oh-so-cool exterior seemed to bounce all emotion off it, like thick plastic. But Samantha looked shocked now. âWhat's it got to do with
you
?' she asked, wrinkling her nose as if Megan smelled bad.
Megan glanced at Danny, suddenly uncomfortable. Maybe she had gone too far? But Danny didn't even seem to be listening. He was down on the ground again, screwdriver in hand and tinkering with the trucks on his skateboard.
Samantha stood up slowly, unfolding herself so that it was very obvious that she was at least four inches taller than Megan. âWho do you think you are anyway?' she said in a venomous tone. âSwanning around as though you're the new heroine around here. Trying to look cool on a skateboard. Who do you think you're impressing? My brother? Don't make me laugh. He only cares about things with wheels.'
Megan threw another glance in Danny's direction, but he was determinedly ignoring his sister.
Isn't he going to defend me?
she thought, suddenly annoyed.
He was only five or six steps away, he must be able to hear every word!
Samantha gave a derisive snort. âThought you were going to be the new sweetheart in the playground, didn't you?' She looked Megan up and down. âYou remind me of someone. Someone who crossed me not long ago. She regretted it too.'
âWould that be Fliss?' Megan asked, folding her arms. âThe girl you hurt in the summer?'
Samantha barely blinked. âShe thought she was so cool. It seems to be an epidemic around here. Small girls getting up my nose.' She sniffed.
âMaybe that's because your nose is too big,' said Megan, feeling more and more annoyed by the second. Why wasn't Danny stepping in to prevent his girlfriend from being insulted? âAnd from what I heard, your plan backfired in a really big way. Nearly got arrested, that's what I heard.'
Samantha's cheeks burned a fiery pink. âThat's not true,' she said furiously.
âLost your pocket money too,' added Megan, unable to resist the dig. âNo wonder you're hanging around with Paul. Hoping for a handout, are you?'
WHAP!
Megan's hand went automatically to her stinging cheek. Her jaw dropped. âYou
hit
me!'
Samantha too was looking a bit stunned. âThat's for what you said.'
âWhich part?' retorted Megan, still holding her face. âFor calling you a charity case or for saying you nearly got arrested?'
Samantha opened her mouth but she didn't seem to know what to say. Instead, she simply glared at Megan. âI don't have to listen to this,' she snapped, and turned to go. âCome on, Paul.'
âHuh?' Paul looked up from his board as Samantha strode past. âWhere?'
âWith me. Come
on
.' Paul quickly picked up his board and followed her obediently, throwing an apologetic glance over his shoulder at Danny.
There was silence for a moment as Megan watched Samantha and Paul disappear round the end of the children's playground. She rubbed her cheek ruefully. âThat really hurt.'
Danny put down his screwdriver and stood on his board, rocking it experimentally from side to side. âWell, you did provoke her.'
Megan stared at him. â
What
?'
He shrugged and gave a laugh. âSam's got a nasty temper on her. Best not to get in her way.'
âAre you saying I
deserved
it?' Megan couldn't believe it.
âCourse not. But Sam wouldn't see it like that.' He pushed off and started to head towards a ramp at the far end of the park.
âHow come you didn't back me up?' Megan called after him.
âWhat?'
âBack me up. You know â how come you let her get away with saying all that?' Megan was beginning to feel annoyed all over again.
âWatch me take these two at once!' Danny called back as he raced towards the set of railings. He flew into the air but caught the edge of one of the railings with a back wheel and tumbled to the ground, laughing.
Megan stomped over, determined not to drop the subject. âDanny. How come you let her insult me like that?'
He brushed the dirt off his jeans and looked up at her. âWhat do you mean?'
âAll that stuff she was saying. About me trying to be cool and how stupid I was.'
Danny raised his eyebrows. âSounded like you were fighting your own battle.' He grinned. âThat's what she didn't like. She's not used to people standing up to her. That jibe about her pocket money! No wonder you got slapped.' He laughed again.
In that small moment, it was as though someone had switched on a huge floodlight. Megan suddenly saw things with a clarity that had escaped her before. âYou don't care about me,' she said, surprised.
Danny frowned. âHuh?'
âYou don't.' Megan felt something like wonder. âYou don't care about anyone. Not me, not your sister, not Paul. Not Jasmine.'
âWhy should I care about Jasmine?'
âExactly.' Out of the blue, she felt like she wanted to laugh too. âYou don't notice anything going on around you. Everything is about
you
â about racing, about speed.'
Danny got to his feet. âWhat's wrong with that?'
Megan shook her head. âWhat about me?'
He frowned. âWhat
about
you?'
A bubble of laughter popped out of Megan's throat. âI thought I was supposed to be your girlfriend.'
âMy what?' He stared at her. âWhat made you think that?'
The laughter stopped. Megan's eyes opened wide. âWe went out together. We â you kissed me.'
He shrugged. âSo?'
âYou mean . . . what did
you
think, then?'
âI just thought you were up for a good time,' Danny said carelessly. âI thought you were cool about
it all.' He screwed up his nose. âI didn't realize you were going to get all uptight. What does it matter anyway?'
â
What does it matter?
' Megan stared. How could she possibly explain?
You made me feel alive
, she wanted to say.
You made me realize my life was tame and boring. You showed me new exciting things. You
kissed
me!
âI thought you liked me,' she said lamely, and then felt cross with herself for sounding so pathetic. How could she have been so stupid for thinking she meant something to him?
Danny gave a massive sigh of exasperation. âWhat is it with you girls?' He sounded annoyed. âWhy do you have to make such a big deal about everything? I
did
like you. You were up for a laugh. You liked trying out stuff. You were good to talk to. I didn't realize you were going to end up like all the rest of them.'
âAll the rest of them?' Megan repeated, bewildered.
âAll those other girls.' Danny swung out an arm. âHanging on my every word. Wanting to follow me around all the time. Hold my hand. Crying if I don't call them. You're all the same!'
âHang on a minute.' Megan's stupefaction was slowly turning to anger. âHow many other girls have you been out with?'
Danny shrugged. âI dunno. I dumped them all. They got boring.'
â
Boring
?' Megan almost choked. âWhy, because they wanted to be your girlfriend?'
âWhat is it with all the labels?' Danny retorted. âWhy does it matter to you girls about that kind of thing? If you like each other, then you can hang out together. Why does it have to get boyfriendâgirlfriend complicated? Isn't it enough to like hanging out together?'
Megan suddenly remembered Mari saying almost exactly the same thing: âWhat's the big deal anyway?' She opened her mouth to reply, but then it struck her: maybe
she
was the one who had got it wrong? Were Danny and Mari right; was it enough just to hang out together and be good friends?
But I have that already
, she thought.
I have friends I hang out with and have a laugh with. I did that with Jake for years!
And now I want the other thing. The relationship, boyfriendâgirlfriend thing. I want it all â the holding hands, the sweet conversations. I want to walk in the moonlight, on the beach, through a forest. Like they do in books and films and songs. What's so wrong with that?
And then another thought came out of the blue:
Jake would never have treated me like this.
The idea startled her.
Megan took a deep breath. âI don't think we should hang out together any more,' she said, and was amazed at how calm her voice sounded.
Danny nodded. âYou said it. I thought you were different. I thought you were like me. But it turns out you're just the same as all the other wimpy girls. Just like Jasmine. She fell apart too.'
âJasmine?' Megan was momentarily diverted. âYou â did you go out with Jasmine?'
âOnce,' said Danny. âA while back. But I moved on and she â she just kept hanging around, like a bad smell.'
âHow can you talk about people that way?' Megan cried. âHow can you treat them like that? Jasmine never stops watching you. She's crazy about you, and you ignore her the whole time! I guess she's just hoping that one day you'll take her back. Well, I hope for her sake you never do. Because you'll just treat her like a doormat to wipe your feet on â all over again. And she's miserable enough already. You can't
do
that to people, Danny.'