Shameless (8 page)

I blushed furiously.  “You keep telling me
he’s dangerous and now you’re saying I should just let him have –have sex with
me to prove – “

“Fucking,” Roman said.  “It’s called
fucking, Mads, and I’m not saying you should let him do anything.  I’m saying
you should take what
you
want for a change and show Riley the time of
his life.”

“But he’s dangerous, remember?” I scowled
at him.  “God, Roman.  I love you but you’re acting crazy.  One minute you’re
telling me to stay away from him and the next minute you’re telling me to have
sex – “ I held up my hand when Roman opened his mouth, “to fuck this dangerous,
drug-addicted biker.”

Roman’s bad mood had dissipated as quickly
as it had appeared and he smiled cheerfully at me.  “I’ve changed my mind.  Is
Riley dangerous?  Yeah, probably.  But I also don’t think he’s going to hurt
you.  The two of you aren’t going to last – you’re like oil and water – but
that doesn’t mean you can’t let him take a week or two to show you exactly what
you’ve missed out on the last four years before you go back to your different
lives.”

He licked some syrup from his fork before
saying, “What do you think is up with his fear of sleeping?”

My head spun from the change in subject. 
“What?”

“Why do you think he’s afraid of sleeping? 
I’m almost certain he doesn’t want the drugs because he doesn’t like the way
they knock him out.”

“He has nightmares,” I said slowly.  “Twice
now he’s almost started crying in his sleep and he shakes and – “

My own body trembled in sympathy at the
memory of the fear on Riley’s face and in his voice.  It disarmed me to see him
like that, made me feel helpless and afraid for him, and I took a deep breath. 

“He cries out for a woman named Andrea.”

“Any idea who she is?”  Roman asked.

“No.  A girlfriend, maybe,” I said.  I
ignored the bite of jealousy in my stomach.  Why would Riley fuck me, want to
fuck me, if he had a girlfriend?

You had a fiancé and you still fucked Riley.

That was true but there were reasons for
that.  I would never have cheated on Jordan if I hadn’t walked in on him and Kurt
in bed together.  And it wasn’t like I deliberately set out to retaliate by
sleeping with someone else.  The sex with Riley had just sort of…happened. 

Maybe you could just sort of let it happen
again.

I shoved that voice out of my head as Roman
finished his pancakes and smiled weakly at him.  “I think something bad
happened to her and Riley dreams about it.”

“Sounds like it,” Roman said.  “If you find
out who she is, let me know.”

I shrugged.  “I don’t think Riley would
tell me.  We’re not like, friends, or anything like that.”

Roman rinsed his plate and stuck it in the
dishwasher.  “No, you’re not.  And I don’t think you should be.  You don’t need
friendship or love from Riley, do you understand?”

“Yes,” I said a bit bitterly.  “I just need
a good fucking from him.”

Roman either ignored or didn’t hear the
bitterness.  “That’s right, sweetheart.  You do and that ain’t anything to be
ashamed of.  Embrace your sexuality and let a guy give you a goddamn orgasm for
once in your life instead of your own hand.”

“Roman, you’re really over the top with the
crudeness today,” I said.  “I’m starting to regret sharing details of my sex
life with you.”

“Non-existent sex life, you mean,” Roman
said.  He kissed my forehead.  “I’m going to go.  Are you going into work
tomorrow?”

“No.  I’ve already texted my boss and told
him I was sick and would work from home,” I said.  “I don’t think Riley’s ready
to be on his own yet.”

“Okay.  I’ll be back tomorrow morning to check
on your biker babe but just text me if you need anything, okay?”

I nodded and he kissed my forehead again. 
“I love you, Mads.  I just want what’s best for you.”

* * *

I paused on my way to the shower and rested
my hand on Riley’s forehead.  I was just checking for a fever, not because I
had an irresistible urge to touch him whenever I was near him.

I sighed before standing and heading to the
master bathroom.  I shut the door quietly, although Riley was sleeping so
deeply he wouldn’t have heard it even if I’d slammed it shut, and stripped out
of my clothes before climbing into the shower.  I washed and conditioned my
hair, rinsing the long dark strands before washing my body.  My hand lingered
between my thighs and I made a small hiss of pleasure as I rinsed the soap from
my sex.  I held my breath as I circled my clit with the tips of my fingers. 
Allowing myself to fantasize about Riley was dangerous, especially when he was
lying not twenty feet away, but I couldn’t help it.

It was shameful to admit but I’d been in a
constant low level of arousal since the moment Riley had staggered into me on
my front porch.  I stood under the hot spray of water, giving my clit a little
pinch that made me moan loudly. I clasped my hand guiltily over my mouth.  I needed
to be quiet.  If Riley heard me in here, if he figured out that I was touching
myself, I’d die of embarrassment.  Having Riley know I was so desperate and
horny sent shivers of horror down my back and my fingers stilled on my
throbbing clit.

What would he think if he knew I had
masturbated repeatedly over the last three months to the memory of that night
in the bar?  At this point, I could only orgasm by remembering the sound of
Riley’s voice in my ear, the feel of his chest against my back, and his hand
between my legs, touching and stroking and bringing me to a fevered pitch of
need so easily.  What had happened between us was permanently seared into my
brain and I had a very bad feeling that for the rest of my life, I’d never
orgasm again without remembering that single, scorching night when Riley had
made me his.

I moaned softly and resumed my touching. 
He had claimed my pussy that night, had forced me to say it belonged to him,
and I should have been horrified by that.  So why exactly did I use it to make
myself climax?  Why would Riley’s claim of ownership be the thing that made me
so fucking hot I could barely think straight?

The shower curtain drew back with a
rattling clang and I froze with my fingers in my pussy and stared guiltily at
Riley.  He was naked, his magnificent cock erect and brushing against his
abdomen, and he had one hand clamped over the wound on his side.

“R-Riley, what are you doing?”  I whispered
as he stepped into the shower with me.  “You can’t get your wound wet and – “

My voice cut out in a breathless moan when
one large hand wrapped in my wet hair and tugged forcefully.  My head fell back
and Riley placed a hot kiss on my throat as he backed me up against the slick
shower wall.

“I could smell your sweet pussy from the
bedroom,” he growled against my wet skin before nipping at the sensitive flesh
on my throat.

I moaned, my pelvis pressing against him
helplessly when he rubbed his erection against the curve of my belly.

“Did you really think I’d allow you to
touch what’s mine?”  He said.

My pussy throbbed as I stared defiantly at
him.  “I-it’s not yours.”

“Isn’t it?”  He used his thigh to push my
legs apart and I made a sharp cry of need when he reached down and thrust two
fingers deep into my aching core.

I rose up on my tiptoes before pushing
myself desperately against his thick fingers.

“You like that, kitten?”  He rasped in my
ear.  “You like having my fingers fucking you?”

“Yes!”  I gasped.  “Oh God, yes.”

“This belongs to me.”  His deep voice was
making my insides melt.  “And no one, not even you, is allowed to touch it
without my permission.”

He slid a third finger in, stretching me in
a delicious combination of pleasure and pain, before rubbing his thumb against
my swollen clit.  “Do you understand?”

I panted and moaned, pumping my hips so
rapidly against his thrusting fingers that the sound of my wet skin slapping
against the shower wall echoed in the small room.

He pinned me against the wall, stopping my
wild movements as his fingers slowed.  “Do you understand, kitten?”

“Riley, please,” I whimpered.  “I need it.”

“Need what?”  He licked the line of my jaw,
clearing the wet drops from it.  “Tell me exactly what you need, kitten.”

“I need you to – to fuck me!”  I gasped and
then blushed at my own crudeness.

A tight grin crossed his face and he
rewarded my answer with a slow stroke of his fingers.  “I know you do.  Tell me
what I want to hear and I’ll fuck you until you can’t stand up, Maddie.”

I tried to wiggle against him, tried to
force him to move his fingers, but despite my large size I was no match for his
strength.

“Tell me,” he repeated.

“I understand!”  I nearly shouted. 
“Please, Riley, I understand.”

“Understand what?”  He thumbed my clit
again and I was so fucking close, needed it so badly, I couldn’t stop my shrill
cry.

“My pussy belongs to you!”

“That’s my good girl,” he whispered.  “Your
pussy is for my cock and only mine.  Say it.”

“Only your cock,” I moaned desperately. 
“Only yours.”

He kissed me, his mouth slanting over mine
to force it wider, to accept the proprietary touch of his tongue as his hands
moved to my hips.  My eyes widened when I realized what he meant to do and I
tore my mouth from his.

“Riley, no!  You’re hurt and I’m too heavy
and – “

He lifted me easily, my back sliding
against the slippery wall and my legs instinctively wrapping around his hips as
he grinned fiercely at me.

“Riley, your side!  Please put me – “

My plea was lost the moment I felt the
blunt head of his cock spear my entrance.  He pushed his way in roughly, giving
me no time to adjust to his thick length, and I threw my head back and moaned
in sheer delight.  The air was thick with steam, Riley was nearly hidden within
it, and I clung desperately to his wet body as he thrust hard and fast.

His hand was back in my hair, his thick fingers
clenched tightly around the wet strands, and he held me firmly as he muttered,
“Is this what you need, kitten?”

“Yes!”  I gasped.  “Yes, I need it so
badly, Riley!”

“I know, Maddie,” he said hoarsely.  “I
have what you need.”

“I’m going to come!”  I screamed.  “Riley,
I’m going to – “

Riley’s hoarse cry of fear and pain shook
me from my fantasy.  My hand stopped its furious rubbing between my thighs and
I froze in place.  The water had begun to cool and I winced and stepped away
from the spray as I stuck my head outside of the shower curtain and listened. 
My pussy was practically screaming at me to finish what I had started but I was
certain I had heard Riley cry out.  I was certain that –

His second cry was louder and filled to the
brim with heartbreaking fear.  I shut off the water and stumbled out of the tub
as he groaned and whimpered.  I snatched my towel from the counter, wrapped it
around my wet body and hurried into the bedroom as Riley screamed. 

“Riley!”  I ran to the bed and nearly fell
on to it as Riley began to twist and turn.

“Andrea!  NO!”  He screamed again and my
blood ran cold.

“Riley, wake up!”  I pinned his body down
with mine and slapped him lightly on the cheek.  “Riley, open your damn eyes! 
Please!”

His hands, which had been clenched in the
quilt, sank into my towel-covered hips and I bit back my groan of pain as he
twisted under me. 

“Riley, stop!”  I shouted and then slapped
him again.  “Wake up!”

He woke with a start, his eyes popping open
and his face twisted in pain.  Tears were running down his cheeks and he stared
wide-eyed at me as I stroked his thick, dark hair.

“You’re okay, honey.  Ease up on your grip,
please.”

He stared blankly at me and I gave him a
pleading look.  “Riley, you’re hurting me.”

Shame flashed across his face and he
released my hips.  “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I said.  “You didn’t mean to.”

He was shaking and shivering and I rolled
cautiously to my side beside him before wiping the tears from his face.  “You
were having a bad dream.”

“Yeah,” he said hoarsely and then winced
when a shiver wracked his entire body.

I eased back the quilt, almost afraid to
check his bandage, and breathed a sigh of relief when there was no blood oozing
through the white.  “I’m just going to take a quick look, okay?”

He nodded and I peeled back the bandage. 
The stitches hadn’t torn and I taped the bandage down before sitting up.

“No!”  His hard hand grabbed my wrist in
fresh panic.

“I just want to check your back,” I said
soothingly.

He shook his head.  “It’s not bleeding.”

“Just let me look to be sure.”