Ruining Me (27 page)

“Give me your house keys and I will go on inside to wait for you.”  I nod at him and give them to him.

We both climb out of his truck and Kane gets out of his car. 
JT
nods at Kane and walks by us both going up to the house.  He stops at the door and looks back at me, but then unlocks the door and continues inside.   My eyes go to Kane’s and I can tell that he hasn’t slept again.

“I’m sorry.”  I don’t know what else to say. 

He nods his head and says, “So am I.  It’s unfortunate really.  I think we could have had something special.  We really didn’t have a fair chance, but I need you to know something Jay.  I don’t hate you.  I’m hurt.  I realize that I backed you in
to a
corner the other night and I know you meant what you said, but that didn’t change your feeling
s
for him, did it?”

This time I shake my head no.  
He sighs and rubs the back of his neck. 
Glancing up to the house he asks
, “If he wasn’t here would you have chosen to live for me?  Could I have been that for you?”

“Yes, you made me want my future again.  The only problem is he was my future first.”  A tear slides down my cheek.  He steps closer to me, but doesn’t touch me.  He gently lean
s
over and kisse
s
my cheek.

“I love you Jay.”  He didn’t look at me and walked back to his car and drove away.  I stood there for a second and wiped the tears away. 
JT
didn’t deserve to see m
e
cry over Kane.  From this point forward I am going to prove to him that I was worth the wait.

Walking
up to the house
I went to find him. He was in
the living room
sitting on the couch
.
  I plop down into his lap and
he
laughs a
s he
kisses me.

“I was holding my breath not wanting to take one second with you for granted,” he says to me.

“I’m all yours.”  I kiss him deeply back.  He stands us both up and slaps my butt.

“Go get dressed before you get me in trouble.  I would miss school in a heartbeat if the first game wasn’t tomorrow night.  I got a future to plan now,” he says and my heart melts. 

Looking in his eyes
I reply, “So do I.” 
 

Taking a quick shower I think about the bottle of pills I have hid.  I don’t have time to get rid of them now, but I will this weekend.  Wanting to look pretty for JT, I throw on my
short
white sundress and strappy white sandals and blow dry my hair straight.  Adding some quick lip gloss
,
I take one last look in the mirror and walk downstairs.

He’s waiting in the foyer and he watches me as I walk down the stairs.  I can see the hunger in his eyes.  Stepping off the last step he walks to me. 

“
You’re beautiful Jay.  Thank you for choosing me.”

“It was never a choice.  Always you JT.  It’s always been you for me.”  He smiles against my lips as he brings me in for a kiss.

“Let’s go to school.  I can’t wait to let everyone know that your mine.” 

He grabs my hand and pulls me out of the house to his car.  I remembered to call my parents on the way there and let them know I was okay.  I was pretty vague answering their questions.  They said they were coming home Friday night and we would talk.  That didn’t sound good.

When we arrive at school, I realize we are running a little late.  Running through the parking lot we both laugh. 
JT
grabs me before we go in the building and kisse
s
me.  He walks me to my first class and stops just inside of the door so that the whole class can pretty much see us.  He gently cradles my face with his hands and kisses me
again
.  You can hear the whistles from the class room. 

When he pulls back he looks at Cal, who is already sitting down and says, “Take care of my girl.” 
Cal
lets out a big laugh and calls back to him.

“Since it seems you are marking your territory, why don’t you
go ahead and
pee on her why you
’
r
e
at it?”
  All the guys around
Cal
laugh at his statement.

JT
just shakes his head at
Cal
and looks back to me.  “I’ll see you after class.  Love you Jay.”  One last kiss and he’s gone. 
 

Cal
winks at me
and I know he’s happy.  I laugh
because I haven’t been this happy in forever.  The whole day goes wonderfully.  Rhye smiled at me in second period, but that was it.  I apologized to Molly and Reed and they were so understanding.  We made plans to hang out at the football game Friday night and then at the party afterwards at
Cal
’s house.  It was like the last two years hadn’t happened and this was how my life was supposed to be. 

JT
took every chance he could to let the school know we were back together.  During lunch he was either rubbing my arm or holding my hand, but
somewhere
he was always touching me.  In Art class, M
is
s Kell smiled at me, but didn’t try to talk to me again.  Hopefully she realizes that I am moving on. 

After school
JT
walk
s
me to my car that had been here overnight.  He had football practice
, so he kissed me goodbye and said, “I’m coming straight to your house tonight after practice.  I won’t be able to stay long because of the football curfew, but I will need to see you before I go to sleep.” 

“I’ll be waiting for you.”

Since I couldn’t be with
JT
,
Molly and
Reed
w
ent
shopping
with me
and then
we
had dinner.  We had such a great time and before I knew it
,
I was back at home waiting for JT.  I had bought a new dress for tomorrow night just for him
because it was his favorite color
.  I
knew that the
little red
strapless
dress
would drive him
crazy and it was
finally
time for me to have JT.

I heard the
doorbell just as my thoughts were getting good.
  Smiling
I open the door
for
JT
and he
is
grinning
right back
at me
.  Jumping into his arms I wrap my legs around his waist and kiss his lips. 

“Happy to see
me?”  He laughs at me, but I know he love this.

I bite his bottom lip and suck it into my mouth.  My body trembles when he groans.  Kissing him more deeply he walks with me wrapped around him inside the house
and I kick the door closed
.  He carries me to the stairs and all the way up.  When we make it to my bedroom, he sets me down and looks at me.

“Are you sure Jay?”

I nod my head at him
and say,
“I’ve waited forever for you.  I don’t want to wait another
minute
.” 

He grabs me and kisses me deeply.  We both remove our
clothes within seconds.  I stand back and look at his body.  He has a man’s body
now
with sinewy muscles from football. 
Running my
hands up and down
I commit
every crease and crevice to memory.  His blue eyes are so vibrant and the love shines through them.

He looks in
to
my eyes and says, “My turn.”  He bends my head and kisses my neck and traces his mouth down my body.  “I love your body Jay.  My dreams didn’t do you justice.”  There is a smile in his voice.  He kisses both of my breast and runs his hands down my stomach.  He grabs my hips
and pushes me back on the bed, but doesn’t follow me.  He leans back and grabs his jeans and pulls a condom out.

“We’ll take this slow.  Tell me if I rush you.” 
He
l
ies down beside me and smiles. 
His
strong
hand
s
trace up and down my body and he kisses my neck. 
Reaching over I
pull him toward me.

“
JT
don’t make me wait any longer.”  My breath is coming quicker and I ache for him.  He climbs
over
me making sure not to rest all of his weight
down
. 
Looking into my eyes he
grins again.  He
opens
the condom and places it on. 

“
I love you Jay,” he says as he
slides into my warmth.  It feels so good and I feel so full and
JT
groans.  “Forever Jay.  I am going to love you forever.”  His movements are slow at first with both of us just enjoying the moment of finally being together. 

JT
’s
body quivers above mine and his movements quicken.  My body reacts to his and we are both breathing heav
ily now
.  “Come for me Jay.  I can’t wait baby.”  My body explodes
with his words and he follows.  He lays on top,
resting his delicious weight on me.  I run my hand
s
up and down
to
the middle of his back. 

After a minute he rolls off and kisses me on the lips before walking to my bathroom.  My body hums with contentment.  I watch him come thro
ugh the door gloriously naked walking back
and
sliding next to me in bed.  He laughs when he looks at my face.

“Your eyes
are lighting up like you want more. 
Yo
u’ll have to give me a pass on a
second time.  If I didn’t have a football game tomorrow night, I promise you couldn’t get rid of me.   In fact Jay, I’ve been thinking about something.” 

I tear my eyes away from devouring his body and answer him, “What?”

“I want to get married.”

Now he has my atten
tion.  I give a nervous laugh.
  “Ok, maybe someday?”

“No Jay, I want to marry you now.  We’ve wasted so much time and life is way too short.  I know we are just in high school, but I know I want to spend my life with you.  It’s not enough to be with you.  I want to sleep next to you every night and watch over you
so I can
keep you safe.”

“Have you lost your mind?  We are just now starting our senior year of high school.  Then you have college and hopefully now
I
might too. 
I’ll marry you, but sometime way
off
in the future.”  I’m stunned.

“Maybe I have Jay.  These past two years have changed me.  I’m afraid that if open my eyes that you will disappear and that scares me.  I was so afraid that I would get here tonight and you wouldn’t let me in.  That you had changed your mind.”  He snuggled me closer to him.

“I’m not going to change my mind.  Not ever.  No matter what happens
,
it’s you and me.” 
Looking into his eyes he nods at me. 

“Just think about it okay?”  I don’t want to fight with h
im so I nod yes.  “I’ve got this stupid football curfew and my Mom warned me to only stay an hour.  Can I stay tomorrow night?”

“My parents are supposed to be home, but we’ll w
ork something
out
. We can always stay at
Cal
’s.”  I
wiggle my eyes at him and h
e starts tic
kling me making me laugh
out
loud
.