My Forbidden Desire (31 page)

“Like this,” she said. And she did something he almost missed. But he saw how she would have pulled if she were able, and that was enough. He turned out the lights. With her magic. Alexandrine gasped once, and then he shut off his touch.

“Okay,” she whispered. “I felt that happen. Whoa. That was just freaky as all get-out.”

“Sure is.”

The silence got deep there in the dark. Bottomless deep. He owned a witch. One of the kin hadn’t been in control of a witch since the years were counted in three digits. His mouth went dry, and he swallowed hard to compensate. Didn’t help much. He grabbed his beer but the bottle was empty. Damn.

“Before I forget or chicken out,” she said, “I want to say thank you.”

“For what?” He knew he sounded bitter. “Ruining your life? Turning you into a demonheld freak?”

“Better you than Kynan.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, I do.” In the dark, she rocked on her feet.

Xia said, “You okay with this?”

“More or less. Depends.”

“Carson is cut off from her magic, too. But she came out okay.”

“What happened to her?”

“Magellan.” He shrugged. “Then she assimilated with a talisman, the whole thing. Even though you have a little of our magic in you, I doubt you can do what she does.”

“Which is?”

“Sever magehelds from the mage who holds them.”

“Wow.” Her eyes opened wide. “Really?”

He got a little thrill, thinking about the implications. “I don’t think you can sever a mageheld, but maybe I could—if you were close enough for me to pull your magic.”

“You have something specific in mind?”

“I could go after Durian instead of waiting for Carson. We could. The two of us.”

She was quiet for too long. Just when he was thinking her silence meant no way was she working with him like that, she said, “The thing is, I’ve been standing here thinking.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmm.” Her voice stayed low. “I’ve been thinking, I don’t want to live like this for nothing.”

The cut he’d made on her throat hadn’t healed yet, and she’d made some motion that got it bleeding again. His vision was on, because he was working close to the edge. Bright drops beaded along the wound in brilliant red. The scent hyped him up; it was his nature, and besides, he knew how good she tasted.

He held out his hand. “Come here,” he said.

She did. He got his fingers around her shoulder and drew her toward him to lower his mouth to her shoulder and taste. It was even better when he was like this, halfway to changing and wound up over whether she’d agree to have sex with him again. And she smelled and tasted and felt so good.

“Fuck me, Alexandrine,” he whispered. He meant to add
you taste good,
but the words didn’t make it past his lips.

Alexandrine went still. So did he, when he realized what he’d said and how she must be interpreting him. He was pretty sure she was holding her breath. Interesting. She didn’t pull back or scream or slap his face. “I don’t own all of you,” he said. She couldn’t miss that he was turned on, considering he had her up against his body. “Just your magic.” He buried his fingers in her hair. “And, baby, that means I don’t need to be in control of you for us to do this. Not anymore.”

“I can say no.” She wasn’t wondering out loud; she was stating a fact. No big deal at all.

“Are you going to?” He was more turned on than he’d been in ages. She knew she could say no, but she wasn’t saying it. Not yet. So, how far did she want to go with him? He reached between them and popped the top button of her jeans. Did she want to have sex with someone like him? She knew what he was now and what was going to happen if she didn’t say no. “This okay?”

“Yes,” she said.

“That’s good,” he whispered back. He got his thumb and first finger on her zipper and pulled down. The sound was damn loud. Music to his ears. She stayed still while he unbuttoned her shirt. Two more buttons, and he was going to have her shirt off and his hands all over her. “So, tell me, Alexandrine. Am I gonna get laid again?”

Alexandrine drew in a breath. “Well. Yes. I think you are. Oh, my, Xia.”

He growled, and she didn’t even flinch. The sound was the kind of bloodcurdling growl that sent her ancestors fleeing to safety several thousand years ago. Shirt off. Bra next. He reached around her and fumbled the hooks. Shit. This was no time to be clumsy. He hoped she didn’t notice. But then hooks popped and everything came free. Bra. Gone. She stepped close and put her hands on the counter on either side of him while he got his hands full of her soft breasts.

He leaned back and got a clear view of her body. His arm darted out and snagged her around the waist. She put a hand on his shoulder to keep her balance. Her skin was even softer than he remembered. “I’m going out of my mind here.”

Her other hand got busy with the fly of his jeans. “That so?”

She pushed his jeans down, and he stepped out of them, taking his boxers along for the ride. His shirt went, too. He changed form, and hell if she didn’t put her arms around him. Didn’t even hesitate, did she? The feel of her bare skin against his was a fantastic kink. Human skin against him, soft and warm, and she was willing. She pressed her mouth to his chest, found his nipple, and licked.

He got her out of her jeans and then into his arms to walk her to the kitchen island and stretch her out on the surface. With one taloned finger, he traced a line in the air from the middle of her chest to her pubic bone. She groaned, feeling the magic move from him to her. After tracing a few more lines, he went straight for her core. Her hips arched toward him. She smelled good, tasted good, was wet for him and salty, and he worked her with his mouth, keeping one hand on her bent knee with a gentle outward pressure and using the other to brace himself against the island. He didn’t let up until she came.

She didn’t have her breath back when he bent over her and kissed her breast. She hissed and arched toward him. Her hands landed on his upper back, and he had to be careful not to scratch her. She completely let herself go, and he dedicated himself to finding out what she liked best about him touching her in this form. Just about everything, it seemed.

He pushed up enough to meet her gaze while he brought her hips closer to the edge of the island. “You know what this means,” he said. She nodded. “There’s no going back for either of us now.”

“Xia—”

He slid inside her, and she adjusted herself until he was there, all the way, all of him inside her body. Heaven. The impulse to mate threatened his control. He was closer to his physical urges now, and when one of the kin was with a human like this, the instinct was all about reproduction.

“You know, right? If I’m in you like this?” He pumped once and about lost it. “Tell me now if you don’t want the risk.” He shivered from head to toe as he levered back. “I want this with you.” In again. Slowly at first, then faster until he was inside her all the way and feeling the pressure of her around him.

“Xia, please.”

“I want you. It’s you, Alexandrine,” he said. In this form, his voice was deeper, rougher. “You’re the one.” Because she was. Alexandrine Marit was the woman for him. She accepted what he was; hell, she embraced what he was. She got her hand between them again and stroked his cock. He grabbed her wrist and stopped her long enough to say something that not so long ago he’d have thought was impossible: “You’re the only one I want.”

He saw her smile, soft and a little sad, even, and his breath hitched, and that was it for him. He was gone, and the issue of risk became moot.

Chapter 24

A
lexandrine woke up with her face flat on the mattress. Not even a pillow. The bedroom was dark, and beside her the place where Xia should have been was still warm. Her connection with him was in place. This wasn’t the same connection she’d felt when her dependence on the talisman was messing with them both. Her link with Xia came strictly from that left-behind magic, and it was as unmistakable as it was foreign.

According to Xia, she’d always feel an awareness for kin who weren’t mageheld. Now that her magic was gone, she was realizing just how thoroughly even her meager ability had affected her. An entire level of background noise was gone from her life. The talisman’s magic wasn’t completely unfamiliar to her; it was just that without her magic, there wasn’t any interference between her and what had been left behind. She had a lot to adjust to.

Without opening her eyes, she knew Xia wasn’t far away. And yet, something was wrong. The air felt wrong as it came into her lungs and felt wrong on the way out, too. The center of her bones vibrated with a sense of the world being out of step. They hadn’t resolved the issue of his big confession; that was one problem.
You’re the one
. Human men said stupid things all the time when they were getting hot and heavy. She figured things probably weren’t much different with Xia. He’d gotten worked up and out came words he hadn’t meant.

She didn’t want to put him on the spot by asking if he meant it. Assume the negative. That was much safer. So, she just hadn’t ever acknowledged what he’d said. The tactic hadn’t been a resounding success. They weren’t square anymore. Maybe she should have made a joke so he would know she hadn’t taken him seriously. They’d have been better off if she had. But she hadn’t and now things were all messed up between them. She hated that.

Without moving, she opened her eyes. Her side of the bed faced the closed bedroom door, which meant she could make out Xia standing in front of it with his head tipped to one side. Through their connection—always on it seemed—she knew he thought something was wrong, too. There was a lot for her to learn with the talisman’s magic. Not that she could do much with it, but she did have this unfamiliar and foreign link with Xia. That was something else to deal with, no lie. He took a step toward the door.

“Xia?”

He lifted a hand, a signal for quiet. But their connection got wider, richer. She knew his thoughts and even some of what he was experiencing. Her skin crawled, and the base of her spine turned to ice. She clenched her fists as, through Xia, one of the premonitions she’d been having her entire life shook him hard. She wasn’t at all confused about this, even though the sensory information wasn’t coming from her. She was getting it through Xia, who owned her magic and knew even less than she did about how it worked.

She sat up. In a low voice, she said, “Get away from the door, Xia.”

Xia turned his head toward her. He was in human form, wearing his jeans and nothing else. A splendidly awesome sight, to be sure.

He replied in the same low voice. “Why?”

Was he pulling? Either he wasn’t or she didn’t know how to identify the signs of him accessing her magic. How completely bizarre to think she was having one of her premonitions but having it filtered to her entirely through her link to Xia. “When I feel like that, something’s going to happen. Trust it.”

“For real?” His eyebrows lifted and he nodded. Guess he was learning, too.

“It’s not a joke, Xia.” From Xia, the sense of urgency doubled. “Something’s going to happen. Move it.”

Wrong approach,
she thought. Xia was prickly about being told what to do. So, no surprise, he didn’t move. He just crossed his arms over his chest and went back to listening or whatever the hell he was doing. The flow of her premonition ceased.

“I’m ready for whatever it is,” he said.

Alexandrine threw off the covers, and Xia turned just enough to give her an eyebrows-raised look. She ignored him. No way was she going to face whatever was happening when she was buck naked. She fished around in the dark for her clothes and managed to find her jeans and Xia’s shirt.

“How can you tell what’s going to happen?” he asked.

She shook her head. “How would I know? You cut me off.” Her connection to Xia returned, and so did her ice-cold spine. Alexandrine concentrated on what she was getting from him. “It’s hard, getting this through you. It’s like trying to walk through a house of mirrors.”

The magical spigot opened wider. Icy fingers squeezed her heart. She opened herself wide, and wow, it hurt her brain. She had a pinhole to her magic. Xia had the Grand Canyon. Impressions came at her so rapidly she couldn’t process them fast enough. She concentrated harder on what she did recognize. The images and impressions coalesced.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t know how it works anymore.”

Xia held up a hand. This time, she felt him pull. A thread of magic that echoed in her. At least this little amount didn’t make her dizzy. Whatever he was doing, her premonition didn’t go away. In fact, another chill crawled up her spine, a regular iceberg this time. Her fingers shook, but she got her jeans pulled up and fastened and his T-shirt over her head. She tied the shirt in a knot at her waist. Shoes. Where were her shoes? She found them and jammed her feet in her sneakers. Her premonition went off again, bigger. More intense. Something bad was going to happen any minute. If they weren’t ready for it, the outcome was going to be dire.

Alexandrine walked to Xia and pulled his knife from its scabbard. He pulled off his scabbard and handed it to her. “Don’t hurt yourself, babe.”

“I won’t.” She snapped the scabbard to her jeans and felt better. Not enough, though. Xia went back to listening and working with his thread of magic. If Xia was feeling anything like she was about the remnants of the talisman’s magic in her, which was disoriented and confused, then he had no idea what he was feeling and, likely, had missed most of the information her premonitions could provide.