My Forbidden Desire (14 page)

Her attention was all for him. And here they were, sitting on the couch, all cozy, and he was feeling a whole new respect for her. She had totally turned around her life, and even a monster had to respect that. He brushed a thumb along her eyebrow and got a sexual sizzle from the contact. She drew back, but not far. He knew she wanted him. On a purely physical basis, they both wanted the forbidden. How screwed up and sick was that?

“Magic is unpredictable for humans,” he said. “Even for us, it takes time to learn how to pull and then to know when you’ve pulled too much or when you haven’t pulled enough. Mages having trouble that way, well, copa can get them regulated so they can pull. But most of them take it so they can pull more.”

“There’s always a downside,” she said.

He tucked a stray lock of her hair behind her ear and left his hand cupping the side of her head. Oh, yeah. He was getting hot for her all over again. “A lot of the more powerful mages abuse it; they want the extra jump it gives them. And some of them keep taking it until it kills them. Rasmus smokes it. I kept hoping he’d overdose, but he’s always careful about when and how much and how often.”

“Like I said.”

“S’okay, Alexandrine. I should have told you from the start.”

“Thanks.” She put a hand on his wrist again, and the sizzle was definitely there. And then she leaned toward him. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew an invitation to get down and nasty when he got one. And, yes, he was on board that train. With just one condition.

“You know how it has to be, Alexandrine.”

“I don’t understand why. Aren’t you relaxed now?”

He stood up before he could do something stupid. Really, really stupid. He headed for the kitchen. Fast. The sooner she was at his back, the sooner he wouldn’t have to look at her long legs or think about how much he wanted them wrapped around him with her panting and begging him to get on with doing what they damn near did last night.

She followed him. Mary’s little lamb, for Christ’s sake. He didn’t want the reminder of what he wasn’t going to get. And if she was going to offer, he didn’t trust himself not to accept. He made it to the table with her right behind him. The first thought in his head when he turned around was that she needed to be naked, and he needed to be naked and taking care of her heat.

“What’s the problem, Xia?”

“Nothing,” he said. He opened a cabinet he knew would be empty. “I’m hungry and there’s no food in this place.” He was trying. Really trying not to go off on her, but he wasn’t having much luck. And that was with the copa. Without it, she’d be flat on her back and he’d be driving hard. “Fuck,” he said to another empty cabinet. “Just fuck this whole thing.”

“Has anybody mentioned you have a major attitude problem?”

He glanced at the ceiling like he was calling on the heavens for patience. Would it hurt for him to hope the ceiling crashed on her? “All the time, baby.”

Jaysus, he wanted out of here. Away from her magic and her long legs. Either that or he wanted in her pants. Either one worked. But she wasn’t saying yes to the one thing he had to have consent to do with her.

“What happened to Mr. Nice Guy?”

“He died of starvation about an hour ago.” His retort just came out, no stopping by his brain to check whether it was a good idea.

“What is your problem? I thought that stuff was supposed to help you. If you ask me, you’re worse.”

He looked at the floor and then looked at her. “What’s my problem? I’m hungry for one thing.”

She lifted one eyebrow. “And?”

“And I want you so bad it hurts. Your magic is getting to me.”

She went quiet, and hell, her silence cut. The skin down his back rippled. Pissing off a witch wasn’t smart. She took a step toward him, and he could feel the magic boiling up in her. From long habit, he braced himself for her retaliation. But nothing happened.

“I’m sorry,” she said with a shrug. “I wish it was different,” she said. “I really do.”

His day was just getting better and better, wasn’t it? He had a witch feeling sorry for him. “Can we just shut up about this now?”

“I know there’s no food.” Alexandrine went to a cabinet and got down a bag of popcorn, the old-fashioned kind, which gave him a great view of her ass. Nice. He amused himself by imagining her naked ass against his naked groin. With his naked dick up inside her naked—maybe that wasn’t a safe image. Alexandrine got out a heavy iron pan and a bottle of canola oil. “There hasn’t exactly been any chance to go shopping.” She turned on a burner and poured oil in the pan. “I hate to cook.”

Xia knew he’d been an asshole to her, so he manned up. “I’m sorry if I sounded like I was bitching at you. Not your fault.”

“Thanks,” she said.

“I thought you didn’t like to cook.”

She leaned against the counter to keep an eye on the four kernels she’d thrown in the pot with the oil. “Making popcorn isn’t cooking.”

Come to think of it, he hadn’t seen her cook yet. The day he’d tagged along with her to her job, she’d stopped to pick up something on the way home. Well, shit. He got that one wrong, didn’t he? “I’m sorry.”

She sighed and waved him off. “Never mind.”

“Look. I’m used to being told what to do and when to do it.” Her eyes got big when he said that, and he didn’t know what that meant, either. Was she pissed off? “This freedom thing is new for me. I mess up all the time.”

One of the kernels popped, and Alexandrine turned back to her pot of heating oil. She had one bare foot braced on the arch of the other. Long, long legs. He didn’t know what to make of her silence. His spine tingled—not from her pulling but from him expecting her to. That’s what the magekind did. They fucked over the kin whenever and wherever they could. All she did was pour in the rest of the kernels and cover the pot.

They didn’t say anything while the kernels started popping. She got out a sissy bright red bowl that said
popcorn
on the side with fluffy white popped kernels dancing along the rim. “You have got to be kidding,” he said.

“I’m a perfectly likeable woman, I’ll have you know.” She checked the popcorn but replaced the lid. “We all have days when we’re not in such a great mood, but any way you look at it, I’m not the wicked witch you think I am.”

Man, five minutes of trying to be nice, and he was up to his eyeballs with stress. “Witches make my skin crawl.” He poked a finger in her direction. “Maybe it’s not your fault, but my skin’s crawling right now.”

She leaned back, her arms folded across her chest. “Fine. I’m a scary witch who can whoop your ass just by crossing my eyes.” She crossed her eyes at him. “You’re not writhing on the floor gasping for air.” Her eyes un-crossed. “Gee, what went wrong? Could it be I can’t do magic worth a damn?” Her voice rose. “Or maybe I don’t believe in hurting people just because they have a personality disorder.”

“You’re still a witch.”

Her eyes went all big and hurt again. This was
not
going well. She ought to know the kind of danger she was in, being on the wrong end of Rasmus Kessler’s interest, only she didn’t really, truly get it, and that was just freaking fucked up. Hell, Iskander would have been a better choice than him for guard-dog duty, and Iskander was a complete psycho. And he still wanted her, too.

“I can see we’re going to have a real fun time this weekend.” She took the pot off the burner, filled the sissy red bowl, and sprinkled some salt on it.

“What? No butter?”

“Fresh out of butter.” She ate some. “Besides, butter is bad for you.”

Xia stood up and snagged a handful of popcorn from her bowl. Even without butter, it was the best popcorn he’d ever had. Beat the microwaved shit by a mile. Jaysus, but he wanted her. Right now. On the table.

“You know,” she said. She didn’t have any idea what he was thinking. “You’re not the only one with issues. I’ve been trying to convince myself last night was more about the long drought between boyfriends than it was about you.”

“But?”

“I’ve never met anyone who can deal with what I am. You can, and you just can’t imagine what that’s like for someone like me. People have been calling me crazy practically my whole life. But you… you’re not going to find out about my witchiness and dump my ass.” She held out the bowl to him, and he grabbed more popcorn. “Oh, I know, you hate witches, but at least I don’t have to pretend with you. So I keep thinking, ‘Hell, yes, I should sleep with you.’ ”

Xia looked at the table. Looked sturdy enough to him. “Works for me.”

“I’ve been wondering if I can handle your restrictions. Maybe. Probably not. Maybe. Who the hell knows.”

He ate more popcorn. “And?”

She gave him a lingering look. “And I want my friend Maddy to meet you.”

He about choked. “What?”

“I invited her over for dinner tonight.” She gave him a fake bright grin. “I hope you like Thai.”

“Cancel it.”

“It’s not like she’s a normal person, Xia. She’s the strongest and smartest of us, and I need to talk to her about what’s going on. I’m going to go crazy if I don’t.”

“She’s a witch.” He walked to her refrigerator and yanked it open. Then he opened both the bins. The shriveled carrots were still there.

“Not like Rasmus, Xia. She’s not like that. We’re not like that.”

He stared into her fridge for half a second longer, then shut the door hard enough to rattle the interior. “I don’t want her here.”

“I think she should meet you,” she said.

Talk about getting uptight. “I’m not a pet for you to show off.”

“I know that. But—”

He opened her cabinets one after another and found mostly dust or her dishes and glasses. In the last one, he grabbed the can of butter beans. “Are these any good?”

Alexandrine shrugged. “I dunno. Can opener’s missing.”

“I have no duty to protect any witch besides you.”

“I know that, too.” She looked down to gather herself. “She’s still coming. You don’t have to see her if you don’t want to. You can stay in the bedroom.”

“Ashamed of me?” he said.

“You’re being a jerk again. Why is that?”

Xia stood in the middle of her kitchen, glaring at her. “If there’s trouble, she’s on her own.”

“Fair enough,” she said.

He went back to searching for food he might have missed before. “There’s nothing to eat here. What kind of person lives like this? Why the hell don’t you have any food?”

“What the hell is freaking you out? I haven’t been shopping in a while, all right? And now I’m under house arrest, so it’s not like that’s going to change.”

He put his hands on his hips. “You went to work. What makes you think you can’t go grocery shopping?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” She sat down, legs splayed out. “Fiends beating down my doors and trying to kill me?”

“As long as we go while it’s daylight, we’ll be fine. We’ve got three more hours at least before it’s iffy. Even the magekind are careful about exposing themselves to normals. They’ll stay low during the day.” Getting the hell out of this tiny apartment was the best idea he’d had all century. “Let’s go.”

She leaned back on her chair. “We can always order in.”

“They can’t deliver enough food to keep me happy. I’m starving. Let’s go.”

“Okay, okay.”

Alexandrine went off to find her shoes while Xia put on his leathers. They went outside without saying a word. She adjusted an empty backpack while Xia produced an extra helmet for her. She gave his Harley a doubtful look while he started it up. “I’ve never ridden on one of these.” She had to raise her voice over the engine noise.

He revved the motor. “Baby, all you have to do is hang on for the ride.”

Chapter 11

A
lexandrine got on behind him with the motor roaring loud enough to vibrate her entire body. She put her arms around him and held on. Thank God he couldn’t see her close her eyes in terror as they got moving. And thank God he couldn’t read her mind about having her arms around him. The man turned her on like nobody’s business.

Once they got to the store, it was obvious his mood hadn’t really improved much. Xia made himself a really large, annoying shadow that didn’t say a word; he just followed her everywhere and from time to time threw something in her cart and dared her to take it out. She didn’t. Lots of pasta and meat, she noticed, and no junk food. If the guy needed to eat to keep himself on an even keel, then she wanted him to eat. She hoped she had enough money in the bank to cover the bill.

There was another problem besides his mood and appetite. He was seriously hot no matter what. In his leathers, he was to-die-for sexy. Women and men gave themselves whiplash looking at him. A whole lotta staring going on in the soup aisle.

She should have expected this, but she hadn’t. And, oh, the humiliation. Alexandrine was jealous of everyone who drooled over him, because, hey, pick one at random and she, or he, had a better chance of getting him in the sack than she did. Unless she agreed to be locked down.

Her head filled with images of a plain T-shirt stretched across a lean, muscled chest, and now she was imprinted with the recent recollection of her on his motorcycle with her front plastered against his back and her arms around his no-fat middle. He clomped after her, keeping so close she bumped against him every time she turned around.