My Blue Eyes (24 page)

 
     The night before Ellie was scheduled to go home, I tucked her into bed and read her a bedtime story.  I told her she would see her mom tomorrow and we would be flying on a big airplane.  She was so excited to get to fly and see her mom.  She never really talked about Mary much.  There were a couple of times she said she wanted her mommy, but other than that, she was content being with us.  When she finally went to sleep, I stayed there by the side of her bed.  I started crying, knowing I wasn't going to see her for a long time.  It absolutely killed me.  This little girl was my world now, and not having her with me was heartbreaking.  
     I attributed this to Amy’s sickness.  I figured she was too distraught with Ellie leaving and this was how she was dealing with it.  Actually, everyone in the house was torn up about Ellie leaving.  Even her twin brothers were having a hard time with it.  
     I kissed her on the forehead and went to our bedroom to give Amy some comfort.  When I got in the bedroom she wasn't there.  I walked downstairs and into the kitchen where everyone was looking at the photo album Mary had made for me.  You would have thought someone had died with the amount of tears being cried.  I wrapped my arms around Amy and she pulled me close, as we all laughed and cried talking about Ellie.

     Later on, when everyone went to sleep, I walked back downstairs to look at the album some more.  There were so many firsts I missed with Ellie.  There would be so many seconds and thirds I would miss too.  It broke my heart as I flipped through the pages.  There was the first time she rolled over.  The first time she crawled.  The first time she walked and so many pictures of her smiling so happy.  I brought back a box of pictures I had of my years growing up.  I compared them to Ellie’s.  She looked so much like me it was scary.  I could definitely see all of me in her with a trace of Mary.  I wondered what life would have been like if Mary had told me when she first found out she was pregnant with Ellie.  Truth is, I didn't have any emotional feelings left for Mary.  I was happy with the life I had now.  I couldn't imagine ever being with anyone but Amy.  It sucked that everything had to be like it was then.  I wished I could just have Ellie with me all the time.
     I spent the next couple of hours going through the photos over and over.  I was going to miss this little girl I loved so much.

Chapter 52

     
It was July 1, 1997.  I wish I would have had a cell phone the moment I stepped off the plane with Ellie.  I believe everything would have went a lot better. 
     I got my first cell phone during the summer of 2002.  I know I was a little behind the times.  I just didn't think I was that important to need one.  From what I remember, cell phones weren't that popular in 1997.  I held out as long as I could.  The only person close to me that had one was Matt.  He always thought he was cool.  He kept telling me to get one.  I really should have listened.
     There was something in the air that day.  I could feel it the moment I stepped off the plane.  It was an eerie feeling.  A feeling that makes you want to turn around and retreat.  Everyone I passed seemed to be going by in slow motion.  Each and every one of them seemingly staring me in the eyes, acting like they knew what was waiting for me when I exited the terminal.  I held Ellie tight, protecting her from whatever was about to come.
     I remember the first thing to cross my mind when I walked out of the terminal and saw Mary’s mom standing there with a male companion.  He was someone I had never seen before.  She didn't look happy, and he looked like he was prepared for a confrontation. 
     
I wished I would have had a cell phone.
Chapter 53
     
I slowly walked towards Mary’s mom and the unidentified man accompanying her.
     “Hello Ms. Wiscowski,” I said not knowing if she had been married since I last saw her.
     “Hey Darrel,” she said reaching for Ellie.  “It’s Lewis now.  This is my husband Don.”
     I released my grip on Ellie, handing her over to Mary’s mom.  She didn’t seem all that excited to see her Grandma.  It was a little odd.
     “Where’s Mary?” I questioned.
     Her mom shook her head and rolled her eyes, “She’s back home.”
     “What do you mean, she’s back home?” I asked wanting to know more.  “Why is she not here?  Is she in Minnesota or did she move to Illinois.”
     She let out a silent laugh under her breath, “She’s not in a good place right now Darrel.  She’s moved to Iowa to be closer to her Dad’s side of the family.  If you don’t mind Darrel, we really need to get on the road.  I’ll have Mary call you when she gets a chance.”
     They started to walk away as Ellie started to cry.  I stood there, still not completely comprehending what was going on.  The look in Ellie’s eyes as Mary’s mom carried her away was of pure sadness.  I couldn't let her go.  I didn't even know if her parents were taking her to Iowa to see Mary, or if they were taking her to Minnesota.  Either way, she needed to go back home with me.
     “Terri,” I yelled.  She stopped and I ran towards them.  “Where are you taking Ellie?”
     “Home to Minnesota, Darrel.”
     I shook my head adamantly, “No. No, if she’s not going with Mary then I’m taking her home with me.”
     “Like hell you are Darrel,” Terri said with anger I had never seen from her before.
     I reached for Ellie and Don stepped in front of me, grabbing my wrist.  “Alright cowboy, time to step away and go on home.  Ellie’s coming with us.”
     
Did he really just call me cowboy
, I thought.  
He’s lucky I didn't punch him in the throat.  
I took a calmer approach.
     “First of all, I don’t know you, so don’t ever touch me again, Don.  Second, call me cowboy again, and I will rip your tongue out of your mouth.  Third, Ellie is my daughter and she’s coming home with me.  Let’s not do this in front of her.  Please give her back to me.”
     “Not a chance Darrel,” she said turning and walking away.  “How do you know she’s even your daughter?  Do you have proof?”
     Ellie started to cry again as they walked away.  Damn it.  I wish I had a phone.  I didn't know what to do.  Do I go up and just grab her out of their arms, risking a confrontation in front of everyone?  Do I just let them go and hope I can work things out with Mary?  Thoughts crossed my mind like a flashing neon sign.  Ellie’s cries were becoming more and fainter the further away they got.  They were getting close to the doors in front of the airport leading to the parking garage.  I had to act now.
     “Stop them,” I yelled at the top of my lungs.  “They have my daughter.”
     Everyone turned to look at me and then directed their attention to Terri as she hurriedly made her way to the door.  People closer to them started to yell towards the security guard at the front doors to stop Terri.  One guard positioned himself in front of the door, blocking their exit.  I sprinted as fast as I could towards the door, interrupting whatever explanation Terri could give them.
     “That’s my daughter,” I said trying to gather my breath.  “She can’t take my daughter.”
     Terri directed her attention towards the security guard, “She’s not his daughter.  He doesn't have any proof.  Ask him for proof.”
     “She’s not my daughter?” I asked as my adrenaline was about to boil over.  “Are you kidding me?  Look at her.  She looks just like me.”
     “Do you have any proof sir?” The guard asked.
      I didn’t have proof, “I don’t have any paperwork or anything like that.  I just found out she was my daughter last month and her mom let me take her home with me to Alabama.  Here’s our plane ticket stubs with her and my name on it.  I was supposed to meet her mom here, but instead these two showed up.”
     Nothing was going to get worked out standing in front of the doors with everyone looking on.  The guard escorted us back to the holding room to try and figure everything out.

     I was steaming mad when we got back to the holding area.  I felt like a disgruntled post office employee about to go postal.  I couldn't believe Mary allowed this to happen.  I couldn't believe Terri was acting like this.  To top it off, my flight back to Alabama was leaving in less than an hour.  If I had any chance of making it and getting Ellie a ticket too, I needed this to end quickly.
     It wasn't going to end quickly.  The airport security had no idea what to do, so they called in the county police.  I sat in the room with Terri and Don in total disgust.  I tried not to say anything to them.  I knew if I did, I would likely say something I couldn't take back.  Ellie spent the entire time on my lap.  I could tell this irritated Terri.  It irritated her so much, she started talking.
     “So, what did Mary tell you Darrel?” She began.  “Did she tell you she’s been in and out of the nuthouse for the past four years?  Did she tell you of all the times she tried to kill herself since Ellie was born?  Did she tell you I have been raising Ellie for the past three and a half years?”
     I stared straight ahead, not wanting to get into a back and forth.  If what she was saying was true, it made my heart ache.  I had thought Mary was doing so well.  She seemed like everything was alright.
     She continued, “We didn't even know she left with Ellie.  They disappeared one day and the next thing you know, she’s calling from a hotel back in Illinois.  It scared the heck out of us Darrel.  Then she said she ran into you.  She knew you were going to be back.  She kept in contact with one of her therapists back there and had heard the baseball coach was retiring.  She knew you would be there.  She said she was giving Ellie to you.  That you were her dad and you deserved to be with her.  We argued with her.  We didn't even want you to know.  Mary was just getting ready to sign over guardianship of Ellie.  I've been more of a Mother to her than Mary ever was.”
     Terri’s words were getting to me.  I tried to hold back my emotion.  I held onto Ellie tightly, hoping it would calm my nerves.  The guard had brought in a couple of toys for Ellie to play with.  She held a book as she sat on my lap.  
     She looked at me and said, “Daddy, will you read me this book?”
     My heart melted.  Hearing her say these words in front of Terri was awesome.  Terri was squirming in her chair.  She was fit to be tied.  Don sat there with his arm around her, holding her back from doing something stupid.

     Something had changed in Terri since the last time I saw her.  She was always a non-chalant type of person and didn't get too worked up over anything.  She was always nice, for the most part.  I would realize later, the attitude was a result of fearing she was going to lose her granddaughter.  It wasn't an excuse for how nasty she was talking about Mary.  Mary didn't deserve that.  I didn't deserve it either.  Terri wasn't done talking.
     “Three and a half years we raised that little girl.  Where were you all this time Darrel?  If you were so in love with Mary, one would think you would do everything you could to locate her.  At least keep in some type of contact.  Not you though, Darrel.  You were too busy going to your big time school, chasing a dream you were never gonna catch.  I heard you blew out your knee.  That’s a shame.  I imagine if you would have been drafted, you wouldn't have even thought about giving your daughter the time of day.  That’s just our luck.  Can you tell me something Darrel?  How can you be out of this little girl’s life and then all of a sudden come back in and think you can just take her away from us?  We're the only family she has ever known.”
     It was getting so hard not to reply to Terri.  Everything she was saying to me stung.  I felt like I kicked over a hornet’s nest with no way out.  I was deflecting every comment like I would a hornet as it dove into sting me.  I remembered the words my mom always said, “
If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.
”  Oh how I wish I had my mom with me right now.  Oh how I wish I had a cell phone on me right now.  
     I turned my chair away from Terri, with my back facing her, and read Ellie a story.  Just like she asked.
Chapter 54

 
     
A heavy set middle aged woman peeked her head through the doorway.  Looking at me she said, “Darrel, can I have a word with you please.”
     I got up with Ellie in my arm and made my way to the door.
     “Sorry Darrel.  If you wouldn’t mind leaving her with her Grandparents.  I would like to speak with you alone.”
     I reluctantly handed over Ellie to Terri and followed the woman out of the door.  She introduced herself to me as Margaret and said she worked with Missouri Child Protective Services.  I had no idea what this meant.  She led me into a small room where two county cops where already seated.  I felt like I was in trouble or something.
     “Have a seat Darrel,” one of the cops said.  “I’m Captain Jenkins and this here is Officer Williams.  I believe you met Margaret.”
     I nodded my head and took a seat, “I feel like I’m in trouble or something.  What’s going on?”
     Margaret sat down next to me and placed her hand on top of mine, which I already had clasped and resting on the table.
     “I believe you are in fact Ellie’s dad.  However, you don’t have any verification of this.  We heard everything Mrs. Lewis said to you in the holding room.  I don’t even know one percent of the story, but frankly, I was a little appalled.” She paused, “Mrs. Lewis has paperwork verifying she is the Grandmother.  She has an Iowa Medical Card with her name and Ellie’s on it.  She also has a few other things with Ellie’s information on it.”
     I turned my head slightly towards Margaret, “What are you trying say?”
     She glanced over at the cops, “We have to let her take Ellie.”
     My world as I knew it, ended right there.  I was in one of those helpless situations.  You know, the one where you wish you could just die and not have to go through it.  My heart hurt.  It hurt worse than any pain I had ever felt in my life.  My parent’s death was nothing compared to the pain I felt now.  I had emotionally connected with my daughter this past month, only to have her taken away, just like that.  It would have been different if it was Mary I was handing her off to.  If it was, I knew I would be able to see Ellie soon.  Having her leaving with Terri, I knew wasn’t going to be good.
     “What do I do now?” I asked.
     “First thing I would do when you get home is contact a good attorney,” Margaret said.  “I can’t give you any legal advice.  Do you know where Ellie’s mom is?  I would also start there.”
     I had no idea where Mary was.  I still only half understood what was happening.  The only thing I knew was losing my daughter to a woman who spoke with such hatred.  I lost any trust I had for Terri that day.  I don’t know what happened to her.  She was never a loveable type of person, but she was never this nasty.  
     I said my goodbyes to Ellie.  It was hard holding in the tears.  She cried when I gave her to Terri.  It broke my heart when she said, “I want to go home with you Daddy!”
     I stood there as Terri and Don left the airport with my daughter.  She never stopped crying.  Part of me wanted to go knock both Terri and Don out and hijack a car and speed away with Ellie.
     I felt helpless.  I felt loss.  Most of all, I felt heartbroken.
Chapter 55