Just Breathe Trilogy Box Set (99 page)

Jared has fidgeted since we left the hotel — I can’t really blame him. I can only imagine what he’s going through. The desire to confess the truth arises several times, not for the concern or wanting to avoid the announcement of Joe and me to our friends, but because I want to ease my friend’s heart from so much pain. I just hope that it isn’t broken so much that it won’t heal — that he won’t understand.

With our VIP passes, the three of us and Sadie make our way through the back entrance of the building after being dropped off. Two of Jared’s bodyguards, two of mine, and two more of Joe’s are with us as we make our way through the bustling crowd that consumes the backstage area. Joe, Jared and Sadie tag along, following me as I check in with Denise, see what needs attention all while keeping Jared away from Nathan for now. Approximately thirty minutes later, we meet up with Maggie, Henry, Jimmy and Allen off to the side of the entrance to the catwalk in a small private area meant for us and Nathan. Several television screens are lined against one wall, displaying the activities occurring in several areas. My eyes scan the screens for what’s happening between the main entrance, the main room where the show is taking place and several of the backstage locations other than the dressing room.

“Can you keep an eye on him for a second,” I ask lowly in Joe’s ear.

“Sure. What’s up?” Joe checks.

“I texted Nathan and Pop-Pop that we’re here, but they haven’t responded. I want to make sure they know,” I explain.

“Go. We’ll be fine,” Joe encourages.

I look to Jared and see that he’s fairly good considering that Maggie has his attention. “Thank you,” I reply. “I owe you.”

It takes me asking several people with headphones as I walk in the direction of the changing room to be able to accurately locate Nathan. My body relaxes when I see both him and Pop-Pop. I catch them up-to-date, sharing the good news that Jared is here, but I’m not sure how long he’ll last since he’s angry.

“He has to stay,” Nathan retorts. “It’ll all be for nothing if he’s not here.”

“He’ll stay,” Pop-Pop assures. “Emma will be able to keep him here.”

“I’d say thanks for the vote of confidence, but I’m a little hesitant,” I admit nervously.

Nathan’s shoulders slump at my confession.

“I’m sorry, Nathan,” I say. “I . . . .”

“It’s okay,” he assures. “Fingers crossed.” Nathan steps closer, hugging me. “Thank you.”

My hands coil around his body and rub his back, needing just as much reassurance myself.

Pop-Pop joins our embrace eagerly. “Joanna, Nancy and Stephanie should be here soon,” Pop-Pop reminds.

“I have my eye out for them, and I did confirm that their seats are right behind ours,” I state.

Maybe seeing Joanna’s daughter-in-law and granddaughter again will help to distract Jared a bit.

After ten more minutes of watching Nathan, to make sure he’s good, and having Pop-Pop assure me that he can keep Nathan calm, I make my way back to my friends. Everyone is where I left them, but Jared is starting to look antsier. I remind everyone that Joanna, Nancy and Stephanie will be joining us, but Jared perks up only for about a minute.

There are a few times where I have to momentarily step away from my friends, assisting Denise and making sure we aren’t too close to Pop-Pop and Nathan. I can’t risk Jared being angry to the point where he decides to cause a scene or confront Nathan before the show.

As conversations continue between my friends, I don’t say much as I watch Jared and the television screen for the main room where people are starting to file in and take their seats. Jared’s skin tone slowly begins to change. Maggie and I swap a few glance at each other, non-verbally commenting on Jared’s behavior. Jared’s hand squeezes down more on mine as time goes by, indicating that his mood is changing.

“I can’t do this,
Kitten
,” Jared says softly in my ear.

I pull back to study him. His face is getting paler and I think he’s starting to sweat a little. My head shakes gently, trying to coax him to stay the course.

Jared’s eyes begin to well. He lifts our joined hands and kisses mine. “I’m sorry,
Kitten
. I . . . I can’t . . . .”

I’m losing him. No — I’ve lost him. Shit!

My eyes stay fixed on Jared. “Joe and I are having sex,” I blurt. My heart pounds in my chest.

The room suddenly feels like we’re in a sauna and I wish that someone would turn on the air conditioning.

Silence. Complete silence falls upon my friends.

Jared stares at me in astonishment and my gaze jumps to the floor as I’m too nervous to maintain eye contact with him or anyone. Soon, my eyes slowly trail up Maggie’s feet to the hem of her dress. Then, they stop on her chest — she really looks pretty today. Without warning, my eyes meet Maggie’s.

With a sweet, comforting smile, Maggie comments, “Well, it’s about time. I was wondering how much longer I was going to have to not say anything.”

I swear my eyes inflate to the size of watermelons.

Jared’s hand squeezes mine. “
Kitten
, are you okay?”

“Hold up,” Jimmy says. “Did I just hear what I think I heard?”

I look back to Jared and see that he’s calm. Good — crisis one adverted.

“Emma?” Joe calls.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” I randomly announce, shifting to turn and walk away. For as flush as I feel, my body feels cold and clammy.

“I’ll come with you,” Maggie comments.

Scanning the faces of my friends, I can see that the majority of them are still in shock, even Joe.

Maggie takes a step towards me, but Henry tugs her back. “You knew?”

“I . . .” Maggie begins, but stops.

“Emma,” Joe calls again.

“Why didn’t you tell me? How long have you known?” Henry presses.

Joe steps closer to me, placing his hand on the small of my back. “Emma.”

“You okay,
Kitten
?” Jared searches.

My attention bounces back and forth to everyone’s faces. I think the room is spinning and that I’m going to be sick.

“If I told you, honey, then you would have talked to Joe,” Maggie explains. “Emma . . . she’s not . . . if . . .” Maggie huffs. “I’ll explain later.” She kisses Henry on the cheek and then moves in my direction.

The room is definitely spinning now as the temperature continues to climb, making it hard to breathe.

“Emma?” Joe’s voice beckons in an odd tone.

“Emma, you okay?” Jared inquires. His voice sounds weird too.

“She’s fine,” Maggie declares, taking my arm. “We’ll be back. We’re just going to the ladies room. We’ll meet you guys at our seats.”

A warm hand takes my arm and gently guides me to face a different direction that is away from my friends.

“Emma?” Joe’s voice calls.

“Don’t worry,” Maggie soothes. “We’ll be right back.”

The icky feeling rises more in my stomach as our feet scurry to the closest restroom. I’m not sure if I’m going to vomit or not before I pass out. Maggie locks the door and ushers me to the nearby couch. I sit, staring at the floor as she moves away. The sound of water is calming and my body tingles at the thought of touching it.

“Here,” Maggie offers, handing me a damp towel.

“You . . .” my voice shakes as I move to take the towel, but my hand drops. “You . . . knew?”

Maggie places the refreshing coolness on the back of my neck. “Yes . . . for a while now.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” I inquire.

“Same reason you didn’t share,” she returns. “You weren't ready.”

My head hangs. “I’m sorry I lied to you.”

“Jared, Nathan and I have known there was a good chance something was going to happen,” she states. “We took bets on when it would, but I knew when we returned from the honeymoon.”

I sit in stunned silence.

“It was the wedding, right? When you two first had sex?” she asks.

“Yeah,” I confirm weakly.

“Jared swore it was the bachelor-bachelorette weekend and Nathan thought it was during the Hawaii trip,” she continues. “We’re not mad, sweetie. We know how you are. We knew you would need time, especially if it was something serious — which I would say it is since it’s apparently still going on.”

A half pressed smile spreads on my face at the comforting way my best friend is talking to me about this. She’s not mad — they’re not mad.

“So?” she starts with eagerness. “Tell me more.”

“Like what?” I ask with a nervous giggle, not sure what she means because I’ve never been on this end of the conversations.

“Do you love him?” she starts.

“Shit, Mags,” I huff.

“Okay. Okay,” she replies, back peddling. “I came at that a little fast. My bad. Sorry.” She pauses for a second. “So . . . how was it.”

“What?” I giggle.

“You know . . . the first time,” she asks with a smirk.

My head lowers, not because I’m ashamed or embarrassed, but to hide the grin that reaches to my ears which are starting to feel really warm right now. “Good,” I mumble.

“Good?” she questions with shock.

“Okay,’ I huff. “Better than good.”

“I would hope so if you two are still sleeping together,” she giggles.

“Yeah,” I nervously confirm.

“Was it awkward?” she inquires.

“What? What do you mean?”

“You know . . . the it’s awkward because it’s the first time and because you both know each other?” she expands.

“No,” I answer. “It wasn’t awkward at all.”

“Who started it?” she inspects.

With a giggle, I admit, “Me . . . kind of. We went back and forth with making out a bunch of times beforehand — ultimately, me the night of the wedding.”

“Of course,” she gasps in excitement. Her body bounces, telling me she wants to know more. “So . . . ?”

“So . . . what?”

“I want details, Emma,” she comments. “You’ve made me wait this long.”

“I know,” I say. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing and start confessing,” she declares. “We don’t have much time before we need to get back out there.”

“Shit,” I blurt. “Jared.”

“Jared’ will be fine,” she comments. “He’s just really excited about today for Nathan.”

“No,” I argue.

“What?” she checks.

I raise my eyebrows and Maggie’s expression shows that she remembers. “I couldn’t tell him about . . . you know . . . the surprise. I don’t remember how it went down, but I agreed to come out about Joe and me in order to keep him here.”

“Well, that’s one way to come out,” she muses.

“I didn’t want to do it like that,” I huff.

Maggie doesn’t say anything for a moment and I can see the gears working in her head. “Okay. Are you good?”

“Yeah,” I confirm.

“Do you think he’ll leave now?” she checks.

“That’s why I . . . I knew I had lost him in that moment,” I mention. “I had to share. I was hoping to not have to say anything until later, but he needs to be here.”

“Yeah, he does,” she agrees. “Okay. Let’s get back out there. He could still try to leave and we can’t have that happen.”

Maggie and I inspect each other over and then make our way to the guys who are still standing where we left them. They all turn and look in our direction, all speechless and waiting for Maggie or I to say something.

“I think we should head to our seats,” Maggie suggests. “The show will be starting soon.”

“Seriously?” Jimmy challenges. “Emma drops a bomb like that and you want us to just pretend it was never said or that . . . .” Jimmy stops, unsure of what to say next.

“Joe and Emma are having sex,” Maggie declares. “So what? We’re here for Nathan.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me, honey,” Henry comments.

“We don’t have time to dwell on that,” Maggie comments confidently.

“We’re not dwelling,” Jimmy challenges. “We’re just trying to understand.”

“What’s to understand?” Maggie questions. “Emma and Joe are adults and they don’t need to explain themselves to us. Besides, you boys talked about it while we’re gone, so it’s time to move on.”

“No one said anything,” Jared reveals.

“What?” Maggie gasps.

Joe moves closer to me, placing his hand gently on the small of my back. I don’t resist, instead, I accept it, needing it, needing him.

“They just stood in shock, not sure what to say or ask,” Jared continues. “I didn’t know if you wanted me to explain or anything, so I figured I’d wait until you get back.”

“Wait? You knew?” Henry presses.

“It wasn’t hard to figure out,” Jared snorts. “Besides, Emma can’t hide anything from the three of us.”

“The three of who?” Allen searches.

“Jared, Nathan and me,” Maggie answers when Jared hesitates.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Jimmy asks.

“It was never our place to say anything,” Jared remarks. “It’s Emma’s and Joe’s business.”

“How long?” Jimmy inquires.

“How long what?” Maggie asks.

“How long have you two been sleeping together?” Jimmy expounds, looking back and forth between Joe and me.

No one says anything.

“Well?” Jimmy presses.

“Why did you announce it now, Emma?” Allen peruses. “Of all times, you could have waited until later at the celebration dinner.”

I don’t comment, not wanting to put Jared on the spot.

Everyone looks to each other when I don’t say anything.

“It’s my fault,” Jared professes.

“What?” Henry, Jimmy and Allen question at the same time.

“I made her do it,” Jared continues. “We had an agreement. I went to her room the other night. Joe tried to hide in the bathroom and I called them out. I said she had to come out with it.”

“Why today?” Jimmy searches.

Jared begins to sweat and I can see the anger rising behind his eyes.

“It’s time to take your seats, everyone,” Denise announces, interrupting us.

No one says anything for a moment, but we’re quick to follow Denise out past the back hallway to a side door that will let us get into the main room easily. Once everyone is settled and have greeted Joanna, Nancy and Stephanie, Mr. and Mrs. Covelli, Emily, Isabella, Charlotte, Mrs. Silkworth, Brittany, Leslie, Celia, Henry’s mom, Amy, Kim and Jade, and the few celebrities around us, I politely excuse myself.