Inseparable Strangers (15 page)

Eyeing
him curiously, I asked, “What exactly does that mean?”

He
inhaled deeply, and exhaled through his nose. It was a sound of exasperation.
“I’m not sure how to explain this,” he said, rubbing his thumb and forefinger
over his eyebrows. “Since you saved me, I’ve started to notice I’m gaining back
my human abilities.”

What
the what? “L…like how?”

“For
starters, I’m more responsive to sensation…feelings. Before, when I touched
something, it took a lot of concentration in order for me to make contact
because I was never able to feel it. But now, there’s a slight sensitivity when
I either touch something or am touched by it,” he explained. “Like when I touch
you for instance,” he said, leaning over to place his hand over mine, “my
fingertips tingle. It’s as if a slight electric current vibrated through my
skin. It makes me feel alive.” A smile beamed on his face and I found it
contagious. To share a special moment like this with him was exuberant.

I
squeezed his hand in a friendly gesture, but the strange thing about it was I
felt the same zing of electricity make its way up my arm as he had just
explained.

“Is
this normal, Aaron? Does this normally happen to spirits?” Our hands remained
together; neither of us made any attempt to separate them. It was pretty crazy
for us to take baby steps by holding hands when we’d already became acquainted
in my dreams with every inch of each other’s body.

He
shrugged, “I don’t know. This has all been so new for me. I’ve sort of been
going with the flow and embracing every new finding.” He wiggled his fingers
and laced them between mine. From my peripheral vision, I could see him
watching me, but I wasn’t brave enough to return his gaze. He was waiting for
some sort of sign from me. Holding his hand should be enough indication that I
liked what was happening between us.

“I
wonder what it all means. Could you somehow be turning back into a human? Is it
actually possible? Are there any reports out on the web somewhere saying this
has happened before?” I asked, more to myself than to him. “Scientists do
studies on everything else, why not this too, you know?”

He
laughed lightly. “It could be possible, I guess. But I would never believe it
if I wasn’t experiencing it first-hand. And I sure as hell don’t want to be
poked and prodded on for them to find out.”

We
both continued sitting in my car. The only sound around was the occasional gust
of wind gushing against the garage door. The feeling I was undergoing was so
strange. In all my twenty four years, I’d never felt at ease with anyone except
my father. But sitting in the car with Aaron, I felt satisfied, happy…a real
genuine happiness. Not the happiness I found when I dropped a couple of grand
on clothes or shoes. This was a happy I wasn’t sure I’d ever felt in my life.

With
the fear of him reading my thoughts, I snuck a glance at him from the corner of
my eye. He wasn’t looking at me. He was staring down at our hands intertwined.
At that moment I wished I was able to read his thoughts. To have the ability to
get inside of his brain would be fascinating. Aside from his current situation,
I envied him.

After
spending weeks together, I realized there was still so much I didn’t know about
him. For starters, his age. He’d told me early on he was twenty nine, but I
couldn’t help to think he’d lied. I wasn’t buying it. If I had to guess, I
would put him at around my age. When he had the Grizzly Adams look going on in
the beginning, I would’ve probably placed him in his forties. Now that he kept
himself neatly groomed, he looked fifteen to twenty years younger. It was time
to break the silence.

“Aaron.”

“Hmm,”
he replied. The dim light inside the garage gave off enough glow to define the
outline of his strong jawline and buxom lips.

“How
old were you when you died?” Suddenly I was nervous of my question. What would
I do if he died forty decades ago? He could be older than my dead grandparents.
I could be developing feelings for an old man. And if he was turning back into
a human like he’d thought, would he quickly age once he became one hundred
percent human? I needed to stop freaking out and wait for him to answer.

With
haste, he retracted his hand. It caught me off guard, and caused me to think
the worst. My thoughts about his age must’ve been true. If not, he wouldn’t
have withdrawn from my hand as if it were lethal.

“I’ve
told you this already. I’m twenty nine.” He huffed, then pulled his lips in
between his teeth. He seemed irritated.

I
guess maybe he did tell me the truth. My calculations were nearly spot on, and
that part relieved me. Fooling around with someone in their forties would be
pretty damn creepy.

Now
came the big question. “And how many years have you been dead?” This was the
answer that was going to tell it all.

He
dropped his head. “Twenty two years,” he whispered.

I
quickly did the math in my head. Fifty one years. Damn, that would put him
older than my father. I rolled his age and circumstances around in my head for
a few minutes.

Aaron
kept his head down. Was he ashamed? He shouldn’t be ashamed of anything. He
shouldn’t worry about me thinking any less of him either, because I didn’t.
Somehow, knowing this new piece of information didn’t change the way I felt
about him at all. 

What
was happening to me? All these new
feels
were foreign to my body. Should
I embrace it or should I fight it? How crazy did it sound to say I was
attracted to a dead man…or a dead man was becoming my best friend…or a dead old
man who was twenty seven years my senior? There was no doubt about it; I was
fucked up.

I
closed my eyes, once again hoping Aaron wasn’t listening in on my inner
conversations. He already seemed to be struggling with what had been happening
to him, he didn’t need my negative comments to make it worse.

He
broke the silence. “Say something. I’m fighting the urge to listen in with
everything I’ve got.”

“Do
you want the truth or do you want me to sugar coat it?”

He
cut his eyes over at me, nearly speaking with a dissatisfied stare.

I
smiled at his honesty. “Okay, I hear you.” I replied with a soft laugh. “I’m
freaked out. There. I said it. But, I’m also okay with it if that makes any
sense. It doesn’t change the way I feel about you or how I look at you. In my
eyes you’re twenty nine.”

His
shoulders relaxed and I noticed his chest slightly fell as he tried to gingerly
release a large breath of air. I couldn’t believe he was that worried about my
reaction. It seemed he valued me more than I’d thought. His friendship was
genuine. Maybe there was something more between us than friendly flirting and
amazing sexual dreams.

 To
put him more at ease, I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. It was
intended to be a friendly gesture. He took it as more. Taking me by surprise,
he responded by reaching over and cupping my face in his hand. He gently, and
ever so slowly, rubbed his thumb across my lips. His stunning green eyes bored
into mine leaving me breathless. Heat flushed my core, and the inside of my car
all of a sudden began to close in on me. It was too intense. I was suddenly
suffocating.

“We
should head inside,” I whispered. Loudly and forcefully, I swallowed the urge
to devour him. “We have another long day ahead of us tomorrow.” I looked down
and realized I apparently had randomly slid my hand back into his again. I
hoped it was enough for him to know I was okay with us. Whatever we were becoming
was Lennox approved.

He
nodded in agreement before hesitantly releasing my hand…and my sexual desire to
cave in and consume him.

~~~

We’d
spent two weeks looking for my mother. We would start off every day at the
location of her death, cover every part of downtown by foot, then meet back at
our starting location at dusk. Every evening, I came closer and closer to
giving up. Maybe she had crossed over already. Maybe her time between worlds
ended years ago. Maybe she didn’t want to stay to watch over me as I grew into
a woman. Aaron had already warned me of this and that was why I’d never seen
her.

We’d
walked back to my car in silence after another disappointing day came to an
end. Tears pricked the back of my eyes, and I blinked rapidly to fight them away.
I hadn’t blatantly cried since I was a teenager and the only reason I had then
was because I had missed her. I mourned for her every day during my adolescent
years while Pam made my life a living hell. Watching all the other girls in
school go shopping with their mothers, getting Mani’s and Pedi’s or, just the
simplicity of being there during my firsts — period, boyfriend, kiss, sex…the
list could go on forever. Pam pretended to be involved whenever there was a
social event or when she thought my dad was watching. The truth was, I had
never wanted her around at all. The void in my heart was as fresh today as it
had been then.

Aaron
was either reading my mind or he sensed my gloom. “Hey,” he wrapped his arm
around my shoulder and pulled me up against him. His body wasn’t as cold as it
normally was. Or maybe I was colder than I’d thought. “We’re going to find
her.” His arm dropped down from my shoulder to my waist, resting easily over my
hip. Over the past couple of weeks, our friendship had been slowly blossoming.
It was obvious we both were attracted to each other. The idea of him being a
ghost no longer haunted me. (No pun intended). He was as real to me as my
father, if not, more. We’d spent every waking hour together. And the more our
relationship grew, the more I wanted him to stay with me. “I promise,” he
finished saying softly, leaning his head against mine. His words sounded so
believable, but I couldn’t allow myself to accept them in case it was to never
happen. He was a ghost after all, not a fortune teller.

The
tears stung my eyes with a vengeful force. I blinked them away as quickly as
possible. “Don’t say that.” My voice quivered and I swallowed the lump forming
in my throat. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” I loosened myself from his
hold when we reached the car and quickly turned my back to him to get in.
Gently but forcefully, Aaron spun me around before I could make my escape.

His
face exhibited pity. I didn’t want pity. My father always pitied me where my
mother was concerned and I hated it. I closed my eyes so I couldn’t see him
anymore.

“Don’t,”
I whispered.

A
feather-like touch dusted over my cheek. My eyelids fluttered opened, and I saw
Aaron standing before me with a single tear drop resting on his finger. He was
holding it at eye level, examining it with keen judgment. “This,” he said
nodding to the tear, “makes me feel. I remember this emotion; it’s one of
grief…sadness. You’re hurting and I’m failing you.” His shadowed green eyes
were now focused on me. “I’m sorry, Lennox. If I’m not able to find her, I
promise you I’ll find out what happened to her.” He lifted the tear drop to his
mouth and absorbed it with his tongue. “Your sweet sorrow is something I never
want to taste again.” With a quick tug, he pulled me into him and engulfed his
arms around me into an all-loving and comforting embrace.

The
cool wetness I felt on my cheeks was years of yearning for my mom. I’d thought
I had moved on from the emptiness she’d left behind, but my tears told me
otherwise. No one had ever witnessed me crying, not even my father. I didn’t
like to appear weak. I didn’t like looking like I didn’t have control of my
heart. Sadly, I’d been lying to myself for years.

It
didn’t bother me to know Aaron saw me at my weakest point. He was the only
person…or ghost I had ever allowed to become this close to me. To be a complete
stranger only a month ago, a homeless stranger I’d thought was scum from the
earth, to now being my best friend and hopefully more. Sometimes life was so
ironic.

“You
think you’re okay to drive home alone?”

I
wiped my tear-soaked cheeks. “Why? Where are you going?”

“I
made you a promise and I’m not one to break my promises. It hurts me to see you
upset.” He held my face in his gentle hands. “I’m not coming home until I find
her,” he said with pure determination.

Tears
threatened to spill again. “But it could be days before you come back…or
never,” I whispered. The thought of him leaving me was frightening. I’d become
attached. I never got attached to anyone or anything. It made you weak. I was
fragile…pathetic.

He
nodded, “Yes, it could be, but I don’t think it will take that long,” he paused
and looked in my eyes. His stare was deep. He was reading my mind; I could feel
it. “As long as you’ll have me, I will never leave you. Have faith, Lennox.”

Before
I could blink, Aaron’s lips were pressed against mine. It felt so surreal. Not
realizing my eyes had closed upon impulse, I opened them to make sure I wasn’t
dreaming. His tongue slipped into my mouth, and his sweet flavor burst upon my
tongue. There was no way this was a dream. It felt too real. It tasted too
real. The low moan in his throat sounded too real. My past dreams were coming
to life.

His
hands still palmed my face, and I gingerly angled my head to deepen the kiss.
My pulse accelerated. Aaron’s loving affection hugged my heart. I felt safe
with him. Protected. Almost loved, if that was what love felt like by another
man.