Heart Search (14 page)
Camellia recalled the year and the object clearly. She’d had to stay across the room from it. She wasn’t about to say so.
“I don’t believe I noticed everything Nivea brought; she came to the Salvage Ball for years, since she and Laev Hawthorn returned to Druida from Gael City.” Glyssa’s upper lip lifted. “I
do
remember that the first three years she brought some tawdry trinket. I’d guess that wasn’t from T’Hawthorn Residence. What about you, Tiana?”
do
remember that the first three years she brought some tawdry trinket. I’d guess that wasn’t from T’Hawthorn Residence. What about you, Tiana?”
Tiana started. She blinked. “No. I don’t have your memory, and I got sidetracked.”
“Thanks,” Camellia said. She gathered Mica’s and her friends’ plates—clean like her own—and the casserole and walked to the kitchen. The plates and silverware went into the cleanser, the casserole into a no-time.
“Beautiful sunset tonight,” Tiana said. She stood at the threshold of the galley kitchen, really only comfortable for one, and looked out the large mainspace windows. She moved into the mainspace and Glyssa and Camellia joined her.
Camellia’s home was in a refurbished upper-middle-class, lowernoble area to the south of CityCenter. She only had a glimpse of the southern end of the starship
Nuada’s Sword
, the artifact-being that dominated the western Celtan skyline. Just a few kilometers away was the ocean—not quite close enough for her to hear the sweep of the tide. The trees swayed. No longer were the branches skeletal black. New leaves were outlined against the color-shot sky of pink and gold splendor.
Nuada’s Sword
, the artifact-being that dominated the western Celtan skyline. Just a few kilometers away was the ocean—not quite close enough for her to hear the sweep of the tide. The trees swayed. No longer were the branches skeletal black. New leaves were outlined against the color-shot sky of pink and gold splendor.
As they watched, white clouds faded to lavender, then to gray, the last of Bel’s rays flashed silver, and day became twilight.
Tiana flattened her hands to her breasts, spoke in a hushed tone. “Such a lovely hurt. And I love you both, and my sister and my Family, but I want my HeartMate. I want to share such sunsets with him, and loving afterward.”
“Or loving in a sacred grove as Bel sets,” Glyssa added.
Yearning swelled so in Camellia that it stopped any words from escaping. Yearning and fear . . . and, underneath it all, old anger and embarrassment—all that she’d soon spill to Tiana and Glyssa.
Dessert now,
Mica said, walking back and forth across Camellia’s feet.
Mica said, walking back and forth across Camellia’s feet.
Tiana sighed and Glyssa turned away from the window. Camellia rhymed a couplet and soft spellglobes lit in the mainspace and along the short hallway back to the ritual chamber and the room itself.
This time when they entered, Camellia shut the door behind her, encasing them in privacy.
“Girl talk,” Tiana said.
I am female,
said Mica.
said Mica.
“So you are,” Glyssa said.
And I want dessert. White mousse inside puffs. I do not want the puffs, though.
“All right,” Glyssa said. “I want dessert, too. We need more plates.”
Tiana was closest to the altar and opened one of the two cabinets in its base, pulled out a set of three plates with cheerful-tinted spring flowers scattered casually around the rim, set them on the table.
Mica meowed.
Where is My plate?
Where is My plate?
“I’ll have to get you one,” Camellia said. She translocated a sturdy blue Fam plate from the cleanser to the bricked hearth of the fire.
“Is our floral pattern still available?” asked Tiana, dishing out the dessert.
“Yes,” Camellia said.
“You always know,” Glyssa said.
“We all have our little obsessions,” Camellia said. She took the mousse-in-puff and bit into it, nearly moaned as the taste of vanilla and white cocoa filled her mouth.
“Mmmm,” all of them hummed appreciation, including Mica.
“Luscious,” Tiana said. She’d finished hers first, and licked her fingers before rising from her pillow and moving to the fountain in the corner and washing her hands.
“Speaking of luscious,” Glyssa said, white teeth snapping up another bite. “T’Hawthorn seems to be showing up in your life on a regular basis, Camellia.”
Camellia had eaten half of her mousse puff and set the other half aside to savor for later—if she could. She took a big breath and said, “That’s because he’s my HeartMate.”
Nine
G
lyssa choked.
lyssa choked.
Mica squealed and tore around the room, leaping over the fountain basin.
We knew it. We knew it. Me and Brazos.
Camellia decided that feeding the cat sugar was not a good idea.
We knew it. We knew it. Me and Brazos.
Camellia decided that feeding the cat sugar was not a good idea.
“So how long have you known?” asked Tiana.
“Since my Second Passage to free my Flair at seventeen.”
Glyssa grimaced. “Ouch.”
“I bespelled myself to forget.”
“You’d have to, he was married to Nivea,” Glyssa said.
“Yes.” Camellia’s teeth hurt, she was clenching them so. She rose and went to the fountain, let the cold water run over her hands. It helped calm her so she could stand to turn back to her friends’ stares.
“It was that hurtful?” Glyssa asked.
“Do you have any idea how it feels to link sexually with your HeartMate during the Passage fever dreams and know he is turning to his wife to slake his own lust?”
Tiana jerked. Blinked. “Oh. That’s why you’ve been avoiding—”
“Yes.”
Glyssa got up and came to hug Camellia. “I’m sorry for pushing. I didn’t think.”
“I didn’t think, either,” Tiana said, completing the group hug. “Forgive me.”
It was
good
to feel her friends on both sides of her, with hugs just the outer expression of their emotional support. Tiana was softer of body and shorter. Glyssa was almost her own height and wiry. She broke away first and prowled with Mica.
good
to feel her friends on both sides of her, with hugs just the outer expression of their emotional support. Tiana was softer of body and shorter. Glyssa was almost her own height and wiry. She broke away first and prowled with Mica.
“That day. That first day in JudgementGrove when you won your china, when we were with Nivea. That upsurge of HeartMate Flair.”
“Yeah,” Camellia said, sitting down and looking at the wine bottle. She’d have preferred tea. “I’ve thought a lot about that day. I was flying high emotionally because I’d presented our findings to the SupremeJudge and she listened to me and awarded me the tea set, if it could be found in the shipwreck.”
“And Laev T’Hawthorn was going through his own Second Passage at the time. Everyone knew that,” Tiana said. She spread her hands. “The energies of HeartMate love spiked and spiraled through JudgementGrove.”
Glyssa snorted. “And the stup of the boy saw the beautiful Nivea and decided right then that she was his HeartMate, not you.”
“He barely saw us, we were too young, thirteen,” Tiana said.
“And Nivea, being Nivea and a Sunflower with an eye on wealth and status . . .” Glyssa shrugged. They’d already been over that ground. Her brows dipped. “Must have been a shock to him on his wedding night when he tried to HeartBond with her and couldn’t.”
“Yes, poor Laev,” Tiana said.
Camellia didn’t think there was anything “poor” about Laev. He might look noble and elegant, but he was a lot tougher under that surface than people believed. She’d have thought her friends would realize this—but, like she had, they’d given little consideration to Laev Hawthorn—far above them in status.
“Poor Nivea,” Tiana said more perfunctorily.
Glyssa made a disgusted noise.
Camellia looked straight at Tiana. “I was . . . glad . . . when Nivea died.” Again her jaw hurt.
“Unsurprising,” Tiana said, but her hands were in her opposite sleeve pockets. She’d be thinking just as hard as Glyssa, feeling more. Camellia sensed the waves of empathy coming from them.
“He’s free now,” Glyssa said. “You could claim him. You made a HeartGift during your Second Passage, didn’t you?”
“No,” Camellia said.
Her friends stared at her. “No!” Glyssa said.
Camellia certainly didn’t want to explain that she’d spent most of her Second Passage in bed, thrashing with sex dreams, hating herself for connecting with a man who gave another woman fulfillment. “Why should I? I knew he was wed. I knew he was a man that would always honor his marriage vows despite anything.”
“Of course he would,” Tiana agreed.
“I’m not ready to claim him,” Camellia said.
“So he’s a man who’s hurt you, too.” Tiana spoke softly.
“Huh,” Glyssa said and plopped down onto her pillow, shaking her head. “You haven’t had any kind of luck, have you?”
“I’ve had bad luck with men,” Camellia said, lifted her chin. “But I’ve had good luck in business.”
Glyssa sent a pulse of comfort down their link and Camellia found it easy to smile after all. “And I’ve been blessed in my friends.”
“Uh-huh,” Glyssa said.
“I still think you should see a counselor about your issues with men,” Tiana said.
Glyssa shot her a disgruntled look. “I’m usually the one who pushes too hard and too far. Let Camellia go at her own pace. Her father and uncle are—”
Mean men!
Mica said.
Mica said.
“Right,” Glyssa said. “Her brother—”
I have not met this littermate,
Mica said.
Mica said.
“Not worth meeting,” Glyssa said. “He’s weak. And Laev T’Hawthorn, the stup, still doesn’t realize you’re his HeartMate, does he?”
“I doubt it.”
Brazos and I will HELP!
Mica bounced up and down.
Mica bounced up and down.
“Please don’t,” Camellia said, but noted that Tiana had turned a considering gaze toward the little cat. Then her friend met Camellia’s eyes, her own warm. Her head tilted. “I would say that if Nivea wasn’t ultimately pleased with her marriage, Laev T’Hawthorn wasn’t, either.”
“With a woman who led him on, married him for his gilt and his title, betrayed him with other men? Who would be happy with such a marriage?” Glyssa added.
“So he’s probably not eager to find and claim his HeartMate,” Tiana ended. But there was a note in her voice, a light in her eyes, a studied nonexpression on her face that Camellia had learned meant that she would be watching Laev, too.
“She’s going to meddle,” Glyssa told Camellia. “She can’t help but meddle. Her nature and why she became a priestess. Has to try to fix things. Wine.” Glyssa topped off their wineglasses.
We will help!
Mica shouted again.
Mica shouted again.
“Just as you can’t help but be curious about everything and ask questions all the time,” Tiana defended.
Camellia took her plate with the rest of her treat, sat down on her pillow. She’d revealed all and her appetite had come back. Mica crawled into her lap. Camellia smiled at Tiana. “And so I’ve told a secret.”
“
One
of your secrets,” Glyssa said, nose twitching, changing her focus to Camellia.
One
of your secrets,” Glyssa said, nose twitching, changing her focus to Camellia.
“All that I’m going to talk about tonight. So it’s Tiana’s turn. I told you, one statement regarding your secret.”
“I am bound by a Vow of Honor not to reveal my secret,” Tiana said stiffly, as she always did.
“Or what happens?” Glyssa pressed.
“I can’t say,” Tiana said.
“You won’t say,” Glyssa said.
“I won’t say,” Tiana agreed.
“But I think you’d lose your home.” Camellia let the last of the vanilla white mousse melt on her tongue. “You never invite us to your home. We don’t know exactly where you live. You told me, generally, of HouseHearts, so it must be an old house, a Residence.” She drank more wine.
“I won’t say,” Tiana said, but a faint smile curved her lips.
Glyssa lifted her glass and Camellia thought she was studying the flames of the fire as seen through her wine. A few heartbeats later she sipped, then angled her glass toward Tiana as if in a toast, shifted as if to settle more comfortably, met Camellia’s eyes, and gave her a sincere smile. “But we’ve talked about this, Camellia and I. There are legends you know. Of First Grove, the original Healing Grove of the colonists. Of the lost estate of BalmHeal, which only opens to those in desperate need.”
“I can’t say anything. I swore a Vow of Honor.” The sentence left Tiana on a sigh. She stared at Glyssa. “What’s your secret?”
“One of them,” Camellia added.
Glyssa’s body braced. “I think, I’m
sure
, my HeartMate and I had a flaming affair for four days, five years ago, while he was passing through Druida. I didn’t realize who he was, what he was to me until later.” She flushed red that didn’t go with her hair. “I finally understood how much lust and Flair, singly and mingled together, can blind people.”
sure
, my HeartMate and I had a flaming affair for four days, five years ago, while he was passing through Druida. I didn’t realize who he was, what he was to me until later.” She flushed red that didn’t go with her hair. “I finally understood how much lust and Flair, singly and mingled together, can blind people.”
Camellia thought her mouth hadn’t fallen open as wide as Tiana’s. She snapped it shut, still staring at Glyssa as her brain buzzed.
Glyssa took advantage of their stunned immobility to fill their wineglasses. She lifted hers in a toast. “To HeartMates.”
“You both know yours,” Tiana said wistfully but chimed her glass as Camellia and Glyssa did.
Glyssa drank deeply. There was a wild hurt in her eyes that made Camellia share a look with Tiana. The two of them shook their heads. They wouldn’t press Glyssa now.
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