Fully Ignited (Boston Fire #3) (12 page)

When Jamie’s eyebrows shot up and her lips tightened, he almost laughed. She was angry on his behalf, and he liked knowing that. “Are you serious? Did she have absolutely no self-respect at all?”

“I don’t know, but I do know she didn’t respect
me
. And I do have some self-respect, so that was the end of that relationship. And I realized I didn’t have a great track record when it came to asking out women who I’d want to spend more than a few weeks with. If that long.”

“So you thought the best way to find the right woman was to stop dating?”

He laughed, feeling more than a little stupid. “I needed to take a step back and rethink how I went about dating, I guess. Stop hanging out in clubs and stuff like that. When spending the rest of your life with a woman is the objective instead of having sex with her that night, you have to break the behavior patterns and start over.”

Jamie leaned forward and propped her chin on her hands, the candlelight reflecting in her eyes. “What made you break your temporary vow of abstinence for me?”

He froze, terrified by what might come out of his mouth. The seconds ticked by as he sorted words in his head, trying to separate what he wanted to say from what he didn’t. What he didn’t want to say was that, if their circumstances had been different, she might have been the woman he’d broken the cycle to find. That was a lot of depth to throw at a casual friends-with-benefits situation.

“Probably the same thing that made you break your rules about having sex with a guy in your company,” he said finally. “We have insane chemistry and I wanted you so much I couldn’t resist you.”

The blush across her cheeks was faint, but he didn’t miss it. “We certainly do have chemistry.”

“Okay, fair’s fair,” he said, wanting to change the subject away from his feelings and more toward hers. “Lydia told me you moved here with a guy—and for the record, I didn’t ask her and it just came up in conversation one day—so what made you stay in Boston when he left? Why wasn’t he the one?”

She sighed and leaned back in her chair. “We started talking about the future and hypothetical kids. I said I thought eighteen months between having hypothetical number one and getting pregnant with hypothetical number two would be ideal. I’d have time to get back in shape and get back on the job for a while before having the second.”

“And he disagreed?”

“He assumed I’d give up my career and stay home with the little hypotheticals.”

“Was his expectation that you would have given up
any
career to be a stay-at-home mom, or was it because you’re a firefighter?”

“It was mostly about me being a firefighter.” She swirled the liquid in her glass, watching it with an expression he couldn’t quite read. It wasn’t sadness, really, or annoyance. Maybe both. “If I’d been a teacher or a lawyer or something, I think he might not have been so adamant about it.”

“And you wouldn’t quit if you had a baby?” He almost recoiled from the look she gave him. “I’m not saying I think you should. But you know I lost my mom when I was a kid. I know how shitty that is, so my kids having a mother in a high-risk job is something that would make me nervous.”

She met his gaze across the table, her eyebrows furrowed. “I’ve heard it’s pretty shitty for kids to have their dads die, too, but nobody thinks twice about guys running into a burning building.”

“Is there any way for me to say I think it’s different without sounding like a sexist asshole?”

“No, not really.” After a few seconds, she leaned back and her expression softened. “I get it, though. I know you’re not a sexist asshole and I know most people have a harder time with moms having dangerous jobs. But I know how well I do my job and how safely I do it so, when I meet the right guy, I’m going to get married and have children without sacrificing my career.”

When I meet the right guy.
Because she hadn’t yet, of course. If she had, she wouldn’t be killing time with him. Ignoring the sharp jab of regret because this was what he’d signed up for, he looked at her across the table. She was staring at him, her gaze boring into him as if willing him to say something.

“He’ll be a lucky guy,” he said, lifting his glass in a mock toast.

She frowned slightly and her lips parted as if she was going to speak. Then she took a deep breath and lifted her own glass to take a sip of her wine.

The server arriving with their food put an end to their conversation and Scott wasn’t sorry. It hadn’t been going anywhere good, and he didn’t want this night ruined by him being envious of a guy Jamie hadn’t even met yet.

“There’s no way we can eat all this,” Jamie said.

He looked at the paper-lined baskets of all sorts of fried seafood and fries, and grinned. “Maybe not, but we can put one hell of a dent in it.”

They talked while they ate. Not about anything serious, since they seemed to have both had their fill of that, but about the other guys in the company. The upcoming wedding. And, of course, about Ashley and Danny’s pregnancy.

“I can’t wait,” he confessed. “They said they’re not going to find out if the baby’s a boy or a girl, which is killing me.”

“Are you hoping for a boy?” she asked. “The next generation of kick-ass, sports-loving, hot-tempered Kincaids?”

He grinned. “You think if I have a niece, she won’t be a kick-ass, sports-loving, hot-tempered Kincaid?”

“True.” She shook her head, laughing. “Maybe she’ll be like her aunt Lydia.”

“Danny’s a pretty levelheaded guy, unless he’s pushed too far. And Ashley’s a lot more like Mom than Lydia and I are. We definitely got Tommy’s genes in a higher concentration. But, boy or girl, I can’t wait.”

They lingered a lot longer over dinner than he’d anticipated, and by the time they were in her car and headed back into the city, it was late. Throw in traffic due to drivers rubbernecking a minor accident, and it was very late by the time they got off the highway.

“Your sisters want me ready at a ridiculously early hour,” she said, and he could hear the regret in her voice. “I think Lydia has to work in the afternoon, which means morning shopping.”

“We’re not hitting the suit place early, but I told Aidan I’d meet him for breakfast.”

“I hate the idea of you walking this late. Maybe we should head to your place and I’ll drop you off there and drive myself home.”

He wanted to make love to her in the worst way, but he knew she was right. If he went home with her, it was going to be at least a couple of hours before they were done for the night. And then he’d either have a late walk home or he’d have to get up very early in the morning to do it.

“I guess since it’s our first date, I’ll let you kiss me good-night,” he said, turning his head to smile at her in the lights of the streetlamps.

He pulled up on the street behind his house. Not only would he have quick access to the stairs in the back, but she’d be pointed in the right direction to head home. After undoing his seat belt, he leaned across the center console to kiss her.

Ending the kiss was almost painful, but they’d both be sorry if they didn’t go straight to bed and go to sleep. “Thanks for going down there with me.”

“Thanks for inviting me.” She smiled, running her thumb across his bottom lip. “It’s a special place.”

“Yeah.” He put his hand on the door pull, since sitting on the side of the street wasn’t any better a plan than going to her place. “Text me when you get home so I know you made it. And let me know how the shopping trip goes.”

“I will.” She got out of the car and walked around to the driver’s side. After another kiss good-night, she slid into the seat.

“And, Jamie, don’t forget the cake.”

She was laughing when he closed the door, and he waited to duck between the buildings until she’d turned the corner. After a final wave, he walked to his dad’s backyard and climbed the stairs to his apartment.

He should have left a light on for himself, he thought. Maybe then the place wouldn’t feel so lonely.

ELEVEN

S
INCE
L
YDIA
AND
A
SHLEY
both planned to make breakfast for their guys before hitting the mall, Jamie made herself a breakfast sandwich on an English muffin in the morning. She wasn’t much of a breakfast eater and preferred to wait a few hours before a meal, but she’d learned on the job to eat when she had the chance.

After throwing on jeans and a T-shirt with a light hoodie, along with her comfortable walking sneakers, she steeled her nerves for the drive to the mall. She’d been tempted to ask them to swing by and pick her up, but then they would have had to backtrack. And she was trying to learn the neighborhood while sharpening her Boston driving skills. She couldn’t do that while riding around as a passenger in somebody else’s car, and even that was scary sometimes.

After parking in front of the store entrance they’d told her to meet them at, she locked her car and headed across the parking lot. It was already more crowded than she’d expected, considering the mall had just opened. Lydia and Ashley were sitting on a bench, drinking out of paper cups, and they waved when they saw her.

“We weren’t sure you were coming,” Lydia said.

“Sorry I’m late,” she said, thankful it was only by fifteen minutes. “I still don’t have the hang of driving here. I swear, I can drive to the same place six times and it will take me a different amount of time to get there each time I go. Is there a bridal shop here?”

“Oh, I’m not doing a gown. I just want something nice, like a cocktail dress, maybe. Fancy, but not too formal. There are some high-end stores in this mall that might have something.”

“We’re trying
not
to do all the small boutique stores,” Ashley said. “We don’t have time for that and I don’t want to walk that much.”

In the second store, they found Ashley’s dress. It was a fit-and-flare style in a dark emerald that suited her figure and coloring as though it had been designed just for her. They were about to give up on the mall when Lydia pulled a dress off a rack and they all sighed. A cream-colored sheath with a cream lace overlay, it was elegant and simple, but not plain. It was very Lydia and when she tried it on, Jamie wasn’t surprised when Ashley got teary-eyed.

Jamie watched the sisters bond over the dress, remembering going through this moment with each of her sisters. They’d both had big weddings, so the process had been a lot more grueling for her, but the emotional payoff was the same.

“What are you wearing?” Ashley asked, looking at Jamie while they waited for the dress to be put into a garment bag.

Her eyes widened. “Me? I don’t know yet. And nobody cares what I’m wearing.”

“When’s the last time you dressed up?” Lydia asked.

“I don’t know. I went to a promotion ceremony not too long ago. And there was a plaque dedication.”

“No,” Lydia said. “I’m not talking about dressing up for work. I’m talking about dressing up for fun. My wedding’s going to be fun.”

“You know, I went to a firefighter’s wedding once where they wore their Class A uniform,” Jamie said. “Everybody matched. It was great, and I’m sure the pictures were stunning.”

Lydia snorted. “Nobody’s wearing their dress uniforms to my wedding. Even if the chief gave permission for the guys—and you, of course—to wear them, which even as a favor for my dad would be questionable because we’re getting married in a bar and there will be drinking, we all live and breathe the fire department enough without it being the theme of my wedding.”

“So what you’re saying is that I need to start thinking about what I’m going to wear.”

“Yes, you do.” Lydia pointed a finger at her, which made her laugh. “You all have it easy every day. Your T-shirts and uniform pants and boots. Turnout gear. Even when you guys dress up, there are rules and a specific uniform. When you’re off duty, you still wear the T-shirts and all you have to decide is sweatpants or jeans. Maybe cargo shorts in the summer. You’re dressing up, Jamie.”

“You should get a dress today,” Ashley said.

“Yes,” Lydia agreed. “And if I have to wear heels, you have to wear heels.”

Half an hour later, Jamie stood in front of a mirror and frowned at the dark navy dress. It fit well and it was comfortable. It was made from some kind of jersey material that had a mock wrap waist and deep V-neck, with three-quarter sleeves she liked. Logically she knew it looked good on her and it certainly suited her more than the floral number Ashley made her try on or the red strapless number she’d vetoed while it was still on the hanger.

There was cleavage, though. And leg. A
lot
of leg.

She took a picture of her reflection with her phone and, after looking at it for a few seconds, texted it to her older sister, Carrie. Her younger sister, Tori, was probably the most fashionable of them, but Carrie was the most honest. Plus Tori and her family would probably be at church.

Yes or no?

Yes.
The response was almost immediate.
Definitely yes, but what’s the occasion?

A wedding. It’s not too fitted?

Enough time passed so she assumed Carrie gave the dress a second look.
It looks perfect on you. Do you have a date for the wedding? If you don’t, you will once you get there.

I’m shopping with friends, so can’t talk now. I’ll call soon.

I see that you dodged the question. Have fun and talk later.

“I can see under the door and your feet aren’t moving, so I know you’ve got the dress on,” Lydia said. “Stop looking in the mirror and come out here so we can tell you if you should like it.”

Barely managing to keep from rolling her eyes, Jamie stepped out into the hall of the dressing room area. “Have I mentioned how much I hate dress shopping?”

“Oh, that’s totally the one,” Ashley said, and Lydia nodded. “You have the perfect body for that dress. You’re in great shape, but not too thin. And you’ve got the boobs for it.”

Jamie looked down at herself. “And everybody will know I have the boobs for it, too.”

“That’s the point. And I’m pretty sure everybody already knows you have breasts.”

“I don’t generally put them on display, though.”

“Of course not, but you won’t be at work,” Lydia said. “And they’re not really on display, since you only see a little bit of cleavage. I think it’s just that the cut is really flattering on you and you’re not used to that fit.”

“You have great legs, too,” Ashley added. “Scott would like that one on you.”

Jamie froze, not sure what to say to that. Almost any denial of Scott’s opinion being relevant would skirt too close to lying to them for her comfort. But as far she knew, Scott hadn’t told his sisters anything about their relationship and, if they were fishing, she didn’t want to take the bait.

“Stop, Ash,” Lydia said. “We’re all supposed to pretend we don’t know she and Scott have been sleeping together for three weeks.”

“Oh, that’s right.” Ashley looked at her, tilting her head as if giving the dress serious consideration. “That neckline means jewelry, though.”

“Are you wearing your hair up or down?” Lydia asked.

“Down,” Jamie said. She was confused, but she let them change the subject because it bought her time to figure out how she felt about Scott’s sisters knowing what they were up to.

It was probably stupid or naive for them to think Lydia and Ashley hadn’t caught on to their relationship. Even though they were rarely all together, they saw Scott often enough to guess he had somebody in his life he wasn’t talking about. And she was pretty sure Aidan knew—or at least had strong suspicions—but based on Lydia’s silence on the issue, Jamie had assumed he hadn’t shared them with her.

“Do you know what the mother of the groom is wearing?” she asked Lydia. “I know you’re not really doing colors, but I don’t want to step on anybody’s look.”

There was an awkward pause, and then Lydia waved off the question. “Aidan didn’t invite his family. We’re going to tell them we eloped and do a wedding brunch or something with them later.”

“Oh.” Jamie wasn’t sure what she was supposed to say to that. He was always so solid and laid-back that she’d never guessed Aidan might have family issues. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s nothing bad. They’re very...
very
white-collar and don’t understand why Aidan took the career path he did and they’re not shy about voicing their feelings. We don’t think they’d enjoy themselves.”

“They’re really snotty and treat him like crap,” Ashley said. “And his whole family would just sit in the corner of the bar all night and judge everybody Aidan loves.”

“That’s it in a nutshell,” Lydia said. “He gave it a lot of thought and decided it would be easier on everybody and better for their relationship in the long run if we fudge the truth just a little.”

Jamie couldn’t imagine getting married without her family, but they didn’t treat her like crap over a job, either. “And you’ll get a free brunch out of it, since it would be poor form of them not to pay the bill.”

Lydia laughed. “That’s what Scotty said, too. Free food.”

“I want free food. I’m starving,” Ashley said, putting an end to the conversation. “After you pay for that dress, because you’re totally buying it, we should have an early lunch before Lydia has to go back to work.”

“You’re always starving,” Lydia replied. “And don’t even tell me you’re eating for two. The only way that excuse works for your current appetite is if you’re having septuplets.”

They decided on a burger place in the food court for convenience’s sake, all of them laughing when Lydia pointed out they couldn’t do it often or they wouldn’t fit in the new dresses they’d run out to the cars.

“I’m not very hungry, anyway,” Jamie said, once they’d carried their trays to a nearby table. “I had the best seafood ever last night and I ate so much, I swear I’m still full.”

They both paused in the act of putting condiments on their burgers to stare at her. Jamie replayed the words in her head, but she didn’t think she’d said anything remotely stareworthy. She’d had seafood for dinner. So what?

Ashley replaced her top bun, but didn’t pick up her burger. “Nice little place? South Shore? On the water?”

She should have known spending half the day with Scott’s sisters wasn’t going to end well. But she’d hoped they’d be so wrapped up in dresses and wedding plans that they’d barely pay attention to her. “I... Crap. Please don’t make this a thing.”

“It could be a thing,” Lydia said. “In fact, we can’t figure out why it’s
not
a thing.”

“Because sometimes there’s chemistry between two people who, number one, shouldn’t have a relationship for professional reasons and, number two, have different ideas of what their futures will hold.”

“You don’t want a family?” Ashley asked. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I guess we just make assumptions, you know.”

“I do want a family. But I don’t intend to give up my career when I have kids.” She shrugged and dipped a French fry in the small paper cup of ketchup on her tray. “Other people think mothers shouldn’t risk themselves in dangerous jobs, even though it’s okay for fathers to do it.”

“You already know he mostly grew up without our mother,” Lydia said. “That’s probably a big part of it. But it’s kind of a pervasive way of thinking in the neighborhood, too, you know? It’s old-fashioned and tightly knit. He was raised in a community of alpha guys, really, where the wives and children kept the home fires burning.”

“That’s not a great metaphor,” Ashley said, and they all laughed. “I do agree with it, though. He probably has certain expectations of his future wife, but expectations change. He respects the hell out of you, Jamie. All the guys do.”

“We can be a stubborn family,” Lydia said, “but we come around.”

“Danny getting hurt hit all the guys pretty hard, but Scott was the worst. It’s all tangled up, you know? The brotherhood, the friendship and the family ties.” Ashley paused, running her finger around the rim of her water glass. “You wouldn’t believe how happy and excited he was when we told him I was pregnant. Seriously, it’s like being an uncle is going to be the best thing that ever happened to him.”

Jamie smiled, not having any trouble imagining his joy. He lit up whenever he talked about his sisters, and whenever he mentioned his future niece or nephew, he practically beamed. She’d seen it last night at the restaurant, and she would have loved to have seen his reaction when he first heard the news.

“I think that’s why he had such a hard time,” Ashley continued. “Because the fire was so soon after we told him. When he realized Danny hadn’t come out of the structure with the rest of the company, I guess it was pretty bad and it stuck with him for a while. I mean, he’s Scotty, so he tried to hide it and crack jokes and stuff, but it was there. He didn’t want my baby coming into the world without a dad, I guess.”

“It weighed on his mind a lot,” Lydia agreed. “Losing Mom and the possibility of that little peanut losing its daddy before he or she’s even born shook him up. Hell, it shook all of us up, but Scotty’s a smart guy. When push comes to shove, he’s not going to walk away from something he wants because of the risk. If that was in his nature, he wouldn’t be a firefighter.”

“We haven’t seen you guys together as a couple, obviously,” Ashley said. “But we like you. And we like how Scotty is right now. As his oldest sister, it’s a big deal when I say I’d really like to see you guys be a thing.”

But how hard was Jamie willing to push? And did he want a future with her enough to compromise, or was she simply a spill he’d taken off the no-dating bandwagon?

Her phone chimed, saving her from having to respond to Ashley. But she sighed when she saw the message from Scott. The guy had seriously bad timing.
Are you done shopping yet?

God, she hoped so. If she didn’t get out of here soon, she was going to end up spilling her guts to his sisters and then things would get messy.
We found dresses. Refueling now. You?

We didn’t have to shop because Lydia picked our suits. But we’ve been measured in uncomfortable places and won’t look like ragamuffins at the wedding.