Forbidden: A Stepbrother Secret Baby Romance (12 page)

I turn down a hallway I've never been down before and start opening doors. The first two rooms are storage for decorations and cleaning supplies. The third and fourth are both studies with huge mahogany desks. The fifth door is what I am looking for. I step inside and feel instantly like Belle in Beauty and the Beast.

Bookshelves twenty feet high line the walls of this room that holds only books and eight plush armchairs. All but one of the chairs are covered with dust covers. A giant chandelier hangs from the ceiling, the sunlight gleaming off of the crystals. Three wheeled library ladders complete my childhood fantasy. I run my fingers along the spines. There are history books, autobiographies, and classics. I keep walking, waiting to see some well-worn, tattered spines that will indicate an easy-to-read beach thriller or romance. I am halfway around the room when I realize that I can hear what sounds like music blasting out of headphones.

I whip around and see Jax sprawled across one of the armchairs, a sketchbook on his lap and a pencil of some kind in his hand. "Dammit!" I yell, jumping about a foot. "I didn't know you were in here!"

Jax pulls the headphones out of his ears and taps his fingers across the surface of his phone. The music stops blaring, and he looks up at me, his eyes travelling at once to my breasts. The white triangle outline of my bikini shows through the sheer, white fabric of my shirt. I cross my arms over my chest but I don’t do it fast enough.

"Sorry, I was engrossed in what I was doing." He closes the notebook with a snap but not before I see the outline of a woman's body captured on the pages.

My jaw drops. “Do you draw?”

He looks like he’s about to blush and shrugs. “Here and there.” He swings his legs off of the arm of the chair and onto the floor. "You looking for something in particular?" He motions around the room. "I can probably help you find anything you’re looking for. I basically lived in this room when I was a kid." A look of sweet nostalgia falls over his face. It lends a softness to his demeanor and features that I haven’t thought was possible.

"I just wanted something trashy, actually," I say honestly. "But it looks like most of these books are leather-bound and serious."

Jax laughs and the noise sends a tingle down my legs. "Oh, you might be surprised." He walks to the right side of the room, easily hopping up onto the ladder, climbing the rungs, and using his foot to push off of the edge of the bookshelf. The ladder slides ten feet to the right. Jax stops it in front of a row of books that looks identical to the rest. "What do you want? Romance? Pure erotica? Thriller? Mystery? Horror?"

I consider for a moment, still taken aback by his sudden attention to me. "Romance." I lean against the armchair. Jax's strong hands run across the book spines. I feel my arms tingle watching him do it, wishing that he were touching me like that.

"Okay," he says, pulling down a volume that looks indistinguishable from the rest. He skips the last three rungs on the ladder and drops easily down to the floor. He dusts off the cover with his hands, blowing a small plume of dust into the air before handing it to me. "Here you go," he says.

The leather bound book is heavy in my hands; the feeling of the cover sensuous as I turn it over to examine the spine. Gold embossed letters read A Brief History of Time. I look curiously up at Jax, confusion all over my face. "I'm sorry," I say, smiling at him. "You must have misheard. I was looking for a poolside read, not a book that would blow my head open with facts and knowledge."

Jax laughs again, his blue eyes blazing, and reaches over, putting his hands on mine and turning the book in the light. "You have to turn the spine this way," he says quietly, his voice just behind my left ear.

There’s a finely embossed title on the spine; it’s a few shades lighter than the cover and barely distinguishable. The Master and His Lady. I turn the spine away from the light and the title vanishes. "What?" I breathe, confused. My heart is pounding from Jax standing so close to me, his hands on my hands. I turn my head back slightly to see the light glinting off of his tattoos. I feel another urge to reach my fingers out and trace the lines up his arm.

Jax suddenly pulls away from me and quickly sticks his hands in his pockets. "My mother was a huge fan of genre fiction. It didn't fit the aesthetic my dad was going for in here so he had about three decades’ worth of pulpy novels transcribed into leather-bound books with the titles of more academic books placed on the spines.”

"This entire room is actually filled with pulp fiction?" I ask, incredulous.

Jax nods. "Yep. If you name a title of a popular book, I bet you I can find it within sixty seconds. I used to come in here when I was bored in the summertime and pull each title down. I made it a game to match the fake title with the real book inside." He shrugs. "I'm an only child," he says by way of explanation for this quirky hobby.

I laugh. "Me too," I say. "Books have always been my best friends." I open the book and see that indeed, it is an erotic romance novel filled with sex scenes. "Your dad must have really loved your mother," I whisper. "This must have cost a fortune."

Jax is silent, and when I turn to look at him there is pain on his face. "I think he loved her. Or maybe he just loved appearances. I don't know." The magic of the moment is broken by this heartbreaking possibility. He clears his throat. "You going swimming?" His eyes once again flick to my chest.

"Um, probably," I reply, suddenly self-conscious. "Probably going to do a little bit of sunbathing along with some reading." I tap my short fingernails on the spine of the book. I'm remembering the phone call with Paul this morning and my stealth mission into my mother's closet. I'm feeling a little reckless. "You want to join me?"

"I actually have a ton of work to get through."

"Ah, okay," I say, trying not to sound disappointed.

Jax looks down at his feet and then back up at me. "But you know what? No reason I can’t do it poolside. I can even get Richard to make us some nachos or something tacky that your mother would die over if she knew."

I let out a guffaw. "Don't let her fool you. She used to only cook meals in a microwave. She's made her fair share of nachos over the years. But you really do seem to have her pegged, don't you?"

Jax smiles. "I can usually read people pretty well," he admits. "Okay, well, I should probably go grab my swim trunks if we're going to be poolside. Along with my laptop." Jax runs his hand across his hair, a crooked smile resting on his face. "After you," he says, motioning toward the door.

I nod and bite my lip as I walk past him, my body careening closer to his frame than is necessary in the wide space. The goosebumps return as I remember him wrapping his arms around me from behind as he showed me the secret book title. I swallow my impulses.

I’m still with Paul, however it is he’s being right now, and Jax is still my stepbrother.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

JAX

I can't believe I was careless enough to forget to lock the fucking door to the library when I walked in there. Did she see what I was drawing?

I watch Tessa walk away from me toward the pool, her ass wiggling just the right amount. I practically sprint up the stairs to get changed. I'm so distracted that I forget my laptop and have to double back to get it. I make it to the folding wall of glass in the living room and stop dead in my tracks. Tessa is already on the pool deck, her t-shirt off. Jesus. Her silky hair is glinting in the sun as she twists it up off her neck, her raised arms changing the shape of her perfect tits just enough to make my dick wake up again.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I'm torn out of my daydream. "What?" I snap into the phone.

"I’ve got the proof if you want to make the phone call,” says a masculine voice. It’s Shawn, the private investigator I hired to chase after Paul.

An odd combination of panic and excitement crashes down over me. I turn away from staring at Tessa; she’s trying to wrestle with one of the umbrellas and failing spectacularly. I lower my voice even though the doors are closed and there is no danger of her hearing me. Even after months of waiting for this and thinking what I would do when I got the actual, physical proof in the form of photos, I still feel weird about it. "Already?"

Shawn lets out a low whistle. "He’s not exactly been discreet. Guy’s a fucking idiot."

I shove my hand into my pocket and turn around to look at Tessa. She’s given up on the umbrella and has her nose buried in the book I chose for her. Her eyebrows are furrowed slightly in concentration and she looks fucking adorable. I put my hands over my eyes as if shielding them will somehow help anything. "Email them to me.”

As I hang up the phone, I find myself wishing that I didn't know. Because I can't tell Tessa without her blaming me for it.

Fuck. I slam my hand into the drywall. It cracks a little bit, with a shower of dust falling onto the floor. The noise is louder than I thought it would be. Three staff members come out of nowhere to ask me if everything is okay. I wave them away, not wanting to deal with the looks of sheer panic on their faces. I look at the cracks I made and know that it will be repaired and painted almost by the time I leave the room. Somehow, this pisses me off even more.

My father and his appearances. Everything has to look perfect for him.

I weigh my options, the information I now have banging in my head like a drum. I can tell her, but she'll never forgive me. I’ll always be the guy who told her that her boyfriend is a cheating asshole.

I want her so fucking badly. I can't fuck this up. Suddenly I have an idea. I don’t have to be the bad guy. I can make Paul do the dirty work for me.

I reach for my phone and text Shawn. “Give me his number and his email address.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

TESSA

I thought it would take a good, long while for me to relax. But the warm sun beating down on my body and the immediate appearance of two different staff members asking me if I needed anything got me in the mood for pampering. Despite my insistence that I was completely fine, the small teak table next to my pool chair was quickly filled with a spray bottle of water in case I wanted to cool off, an ice bucket filled with three different kinds of soda, two glass bottles of fizzy mineral water, and a glass bottle of still water. By the time the third person asks if I want anything else, I finally acquiesce and ask for a piña colada. This is one of the many reliefs of no longer breastfeeding: being able to freely drink alcohol.

I look over at the back door, waiting for Jax to come out. I thought he would be right down, but it's taking much longer than I thought it would. I open my book. It's a steamy, BDSM-lite tale of a widowed man of the house who falls in love with his daughter's nanny. It's kind of like Jane Eyre. I’m hoping for less tragedy and more light bondage.

I am deep into the third chapter when a shadow falls over me. I look up to see a shirtless Jax wearing navy blue swim trunks. He has his silver Macbook Pro tucked under his arm along with a different leather bound journal than the one he was sketching in when I'd interrupted him in the library. Aviator sunglasses sit perched on his nose.

It is all I can do to not stare at his bare torso, which is covered in more tattoos than I remember from our night together. Black geometric shapes and curves skate across the most chiseled six pack I have ever seen in my life. I feel like I could get lost in the maze of those tattoos for days. Weeks. Months. Seeing him in broad daylight takes my breath away.

"Enjoying the book, sis?" Jax asks me merrily.

My fantasy comes to a screeching halt. There’s that “sis” thing again. "Uh...yeah. It's great. I'm sorry - sis?" I ask him boldly.

Jax just grins at me and sits down in the chair next to my lounger. "Well, you are, aren't you?"

I bite my lip. If he thinks of me as a sister...well. I guess that's a good thing. It's not like anything can happen. It's not like I want anything to happen.

That’s a lie.

"Yeah, I guess we are. And I am enjoying it," I say. He raises his eyebrows with a smile. "The book,” I clarify hastily, blushing. “I’m enjoying the book. This sun is making me a little sleepy, though."

Jax sets his work items on the lounger next to mine. "Take a nap," he says. "I can get you a blanket if you want. Or open the umbrella for you."

I’ve already tried to open it once but couldn't get it to go anywhere. Suddenly, I wonder if Jax had seen me doing that. I blush again. "No, I shouldn't sleep through my first baby-free day since the day before I went into labor."

Jax looks surprised. "You haven't had a single baby-free day since Ryan was born?"

I feel a funny tickle in my stomach as Jax says my baby's name out loud. I clear my throat. "Nope, it's always just me and him."

He furrows his brows. "Paul doesn't ever let you have a day-" then he stops. Conflict appears on his face. "I see."

I shift uncomfortably. I feel weird and disloyal hearing another man judging my boyfriend; especially a man who I’ve fucked. I know that Paul is far from perfect, but it’s one thing for me to admit that and quite another for my gorgeous stepbrother who I am having continual sexual fantasies about to be judging him. Jax seems to notice that the conversation has taken a turn for the worse. "You sure you don't want a nap?" he asks. "I'll wake you up in half an hour. I promise."

As if on cue, I yawn. I try to stifle it but it's too late. "Okay," I acquiesce. He reaches over and lowers the back of my chair for me without me asking. I try not to stare at his biceps as he crouches and leans the teak chair back.

"There we go," he says, standing up and dusting his hands off. "You want that umbrella now?"

I nod. "That would be great. Oh, and can you tell Susan when she gets back with my piña colada to put it in the fridge? Or you can drink it. I just don't want it to melt." Jax nods. There is a sadness in his expression as he looks at me, his long, dark eyelashes framing his eyes.

I lay back on the lounger and close my eyes. I am asleep almost at once.