EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE (14 page)

“I know, but--”

“No buts, Hollin. Come back to my place with me. I promise you won’t have any regrets in the morning.”

Her face was flush with heat, and he could see the desire in her eyes. “I can’t,” she said, breathless. She tried to push him away, but he refused to be pushed.

“Yes, you can. Let me show you how good we can be together, how good it will feel. Tell me you honestly don’t want me, that you don’t want this.” He guided her hand to his erection and molded her fingers around him. She let her hand linger for a moment, grazing. “Oh, baby.”

Hollin jerked her hand away as if she’d been scalded, and with all her force, pushed against his chest. “Oh, all right.”

He’d been about to argue with her when he realized she’d given in to his pleas. “All right?” he repeated, just to make certain he hadn’t been hearing things.

She nodded.

Griffin smiled, grabbed her purse and the legal pads, and took her by the hand. Outside, he helped her inside the truck then ran around to the driver’s side.

He started the engine and flew out of the drive without bothering with his seatbelt. Since he only lived a short distance down the road, they were in his drive in less than a minute. But when he went to climb out of the truck, it finally struck him that Hollin hadn’t moved a muscle since they’d taken off.

She’d changed her mind, was all he could think.

“Hollin?”

“Are you sure we’re doing the right thing?”

Griffin took a deep breath, paused to think over the situation for a moment, and then looked her in the eye. “Absolutely. I’ve never wanted a woman more than I want you right now.”

He watched as she swallowed, and he worried she’d say she couldn’t

Once inside the house, Griffin led her to his bedroom, stopping only long enough to kick his boots free. Then he fused his mouth with hers, and practically tore her clothes off. Yet standing in front of him stark naked didn’t inhibit her in the least.

Hollin had thought for years she would never be able to give herself completely to any man. But this was Griffin, she reminded herself. She wanted to let go of her fears and reservations, and it seemed like he was the only man she could trust.

But was she doing the right thing by sleeping with him? Would she regret it tomorrow? Would he? There were so many unanswered questions, but her thoughts quickly began to fragment. She could no longer think clearly. Not with Griffin’s hands on her body, his mouth trailing hot, steamy kisses along her neck and jaw, her shoulder, the slope of her breast.

She sucked in her breath when his mouth greedily fastened on her nipple, tugging and pulling until she thought she would die with pleasure. Hot tides of passion raged through her, and she thought surely she might explode.

To her disappointment, he released her, moving back an inch. He looked down and gazed into her eyes, and it was all she could do to stand on her shaky legs without him to lean on for support.

“Undress me,” he said, and waited for her to respond.

It seemed like such a simple request, and yet she hesitated. Swallowing nervously, she raised a hand then lowered it just as quickly.

Griffin found both her hands, pulled them to his waist. “There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

Wanting to believe him, she tugged the T-shirt from the waistband of his jeans and wrangled it over his arms and shoulders, and finally his head.

She buried her face against the corded muscles of his chest, loving the feel of the crisp hairs against her cheek. His skin was hot. He smelled of soap, sunshine and male. The three scents blended into one, pleasing her senses, and driving her wild with need.

Griffin took her hand, placed it on his erection. “Hurry. I’m dying to be free so I can be inside you.”

The bulge in his fly terrified her, and yet she still wanted him. She felt the heat of him seeping through the soft denim. Finding her way to his belt buckle, she nimbly managed to open it, and pulled the belt through the loops. The belt dropped to the hardwood floor with a clang. The snap of his jeans was a little trickier, and she was about to ask for his help when it finally popped open.

All that was left was his zipper.

Cautiously, she gave it a tug and pulled back when she heard him moan. Whether it had been pain or pleasure, she wasn’t sure, until he begged her to continue.

“Please, Hollin, don’t stop. You’re killing me.”

Once again, her fingers found the zipper tab and eased it down with a metallic scratching sound. Griffin released his breath with a long, suffering sounding sigh.

With both hands, she jerked his jeans over his hips, and watched as he kicked them aside, his socks coming off as well with his efforts. She couldn’t help but notice his erection, covered only by the thin cotton of his boxers, jutting straight forward.

Her emotions twisted and churned from within. As eager as she was to explore, she was even more afraid. Tentatively, she gave his boxers a quick tug, and down they went, his penis springing upward as if reaching out to her. Standing there, she stared at it, totally unaware of what emotions she wore on her face. It was like facing her worst nightmare, and yet deep in her mind, she knew she had nothing to fear.

“Hollin,” Griffin said, “look at me.”

She met his gaze with reluctance. Part of her wanted to run from the room and never look back, the other part of her wanted to finish what they’d started.

“Griffin, I’m not sure I can go through with this.”

“Hollin, it’s me. I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I know, but--”

Not giving her time to complete her sentence, he dipped his head and kissed her. The touch of his lips sent an instant shock wave through her entire body, and she found she was amazed by the way she responded to him. Her hands ran up and down the length of his hard chest, his back and shoulders, although she was careful not to touch him anywhere below the waist.

His own hands explored her body as well, and there didn’t seem to be any part of her that was off limits to him. Pulling her even closer, he kissed her with much more urgency than before. She felt the heat of his naked skin pressed to hers, and his erection pushed against her belly.

He ran his hands over her butt and along the backs of her thighs, spreading her more open. He pulled his mouth away from hers long enough to say, “Touch me,” and then he kissed her again.

She knew what he wanted, where he wanted to be touched, and she wanted to touch him. Really, she did. But her hands wouldn’t move of their own volition. And then his finger pressed into her and she moaned with pleasure, totally distracted with her own selfish needs. In and out he went, spreading her moisture to her most sensitive areas.

“You like that?” he asked, tearing his mouth away from hers.

Hollin nodded her response, hanging on to him for fear she might lose her balance.

“Then you’re going to love the feel of my cock inside you.”

That was all it took to push her over the edge. “Griffin.” His name came out on a whimper. Once she was able to breath again, and her head began to clear, she moved back a few inches.

“Hey, where are you going?” he asked, refusing to totally let go of her.

“I want to look at you. All of you.” She could tell he was straining for release, and she felt guilty about all the times this man had pleasured her, and she’d never given him anything in return. Slowly, she reached out and stroked him. Not just once but several times. The way he reacted, the way he looked at her, was as if she’d given him the greatest gift he’d ever received. “It’s so smooth,” she said. “And so
big
.”

He tipped his head back and laughed. “You certainly know how to flatter a man.”

She’d never heard him laugh before, and the sound of his laughter warmed her from the inside out. Coming toward him, she peppered his skin with tiny kisses, being sure to tease his hard, flat nipples. Then, bending slightly, she trailed a path down his abdomen with her tongue, circling his navel, and moving lower still.

Her tongue sought out the head of his erection, touching the velvety tip and tasting the salty liquid, which had escaped. Griffin cried out, then quickly pushed her away.

“Jesus, Hollin. I can’t take anymore.” Together, they moved to the bed, and Griffin sprawled atop her. “Brace yourself,” he warned, then entered her swiftly, the length of him filling her all at once.

Her body tensed, and something inside her tried to fight him off. Placing her hands on his chest, she gave him a push to no avail. He was still inside her, his face just inches away from hers.

His face was all hard planes and angles, his eyes practically burning into hers. She closed her eyes, wishing him away, at the same time, trying to forget about the night she was raped. She told herself this was different, but fear, raw and cold, began to bubble toward the surface. “No,” she mumbled. “Please, no.”

“Hollin, open your eyes.”

She didn’t know what made her listen to him, but she did. Breathing heavily, she peered up at him.

“It’s
me
. Griffin.” He took several panting breaths. “I’m going to move now. I want you to wrap your legs around me and hold on.”

She tossed her head back and forth. “I can’t.”

“Yes you can, baby. Come on now. Stay with me.” He’d barely finished talking when he pulled out several inches then thrust back into her.

She had no choice but to wrap herself around him and hold on, just like he’d asked. And then he did it again, and again, his movements gaining speed and intensity.

Her world felt as if it were tipping off its axis, spiraling out of control. But her desire for him overrode everything else. She wanted him, wanted more of what he was giving her. “More,” she whispered, feeling as though she’d been hurtled beyond the point of no return.

He must have sensed the flames within her for he smiled down at her. “I can’t hang on any longer. Come with me, Hollin,” he cried. She felt his release just as she, too, let go with shuddering ecstasy.

Seconds later, he collapsed against her. His heart beat strong and hard against her ribs, his breathing erratic and harsh.

After a few moments, he nuzzled her neck and cheek. “Are you okay?” he breathed.

Hollin gave a moan of pleasure and squeezed him more tightly.

He lifted his head, eased some of his weight from her. His expression looked serious. “You realize I didn’t wear a condom. I didn’t protect you. I totally lost control at the end. I’m sorry, Hollin.”

It was something she hadn’t even thought about, until he mentioned it. What had she been thinking? And then it hit her. She’d been so wrapped up in her emotions, she’d totally forgotten about common sense.

“Do I have reason to be concerned?” she asked, running a fingertip along his jaw. It was rough with beard stubble.

“Not about disease,” he said. “But I’m assuming you’re not using any type of birth control, or are you?”

She blinked. “No. I’m not.”

He nodded once. “You’ll let me know if . . .”

“Of course.” But it was something she refused to think about at the moment. She had enough to deal with. She’d just made love for the first time in her life, and it felt wonderful. She also realized that her feelings for Griffin were more than just sexual desires. She was actually falling in love with him, and the thought terrified her more than what they’d just been through together.

She didn’t want to love him. Because deep in her heart she knew it was impossible for him to feel the same way. He’d basically made his feelings for her very clear. They were strictly of a sexual nature, the same way he’d felt when he was nineteen. She sighed quietly. When was she going to learn to stay away from this man? Not listening to the warning voices in her head could only mean one thing for her. Heartache.

#

Griffin rolled off her, pulled the covers around them both and snuggled close. The smell of sex lingered in the stale air around them.

Hollin looked deep in thought. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked.

She nodded and tucked the sheet under her chin. Griffin propped himself on his elbow and angled his body to see her more clearly. He smoothed the hair away from her face and stared into her eyes. “Are you worried I may have gotten you pregnant?”

“No.”

“You’re not worried? Wrong time of the month?”

“Not exactly.”

“So, there’s a chance you could get pregnant.”

“Yes, but it’s highly unlikely after only one time. Don’t you agree?”

Griffin raised a brow. Hollin was so naive. However, if anyone was to blame, it was him. Had he been with any other woman, he never would have touched her without using a condom. But he’d never wanted anyone as badly as he’d wanted Hollin, and after she’d placed her sweet mouth on his cock, it had taken every ounce of strength he had not to explode. At that moment, all he could think about was plunging deep inside her.

She was tight and wet from her recent orgasm, and she’d felt like warm maple syrup. He was secretly glad for the chance to enjoy her with nothing between them, but he had no intention of sharing that information with her.

And what if he
had
gotten her pregnant? Just how would he feel about that? He’d never had any intention of becoming a father. The thought almost made him laugh. What the hell did he know about such a thing?

Before he had a chance to explore his feelings further, Hollin touched his cheek, and asked, “Are you concerned that I might be pregnant?”

“Of course, I’m concerned.”

“Oh.” A look of disappointment crossed her features, and dropping her hand from his face, she averted her gaze.

“What? You don’t think I should be concerned? You’re upset because I am?” “I’m not upset.” Yet she still refused to look at him.

He ran a hand through his hair and released a breath. “Can you imagine? The whole idea is totally ludicrous.”

She glanced up at him, her gaze dancing across his face. “I don’t understand. Tell me why you think it’s ludicrous.”

Did she really want him to spell it out for her? “You and me for starters,” he said, pointing a finger first at her chest, and then at his own. “And then throw a baby into the mix.” He forced a chuckle. “Can you imagine what people would say?”

She lifted her chin a notch. “I don’t care what people might say.”

Her comment hit him full force. “Are you hoping you’re pregnant?”

She didn’t answer at first, and he felt thwarted by her hesitation. Not that he could explain why. He could tell her mind was going in a million different directions as if she were still weighing the answer to his question. Then she finally said, “No. Although I do want marriage and babies . . . someday.”

Something inside him snapped, leaving a raw sore on his open heart. “I see. Someday,” he said, repeating her. “But not with me.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to.” When she opened her mouth to say something, he stilled her with a hand. “Don’t worry, princess. Marriage and babies are the furthest thing from my mind. It’s actually a relief having a sexual relationship with a woman who isn’t thinking of me in terms of a husband, or worse yet, a father for her child.”

“Can we please not talk about it anymore?”

“Sure,” he said, still annoyed. “Why don’t we talk about the weather instead.” With a noisy sigh, he let his head fall to the pillow. He had no idea why he was so angry. Did it have anything to do with her not wanting his baby, he wondered.

There was an uncomfortable silence for several moments before Hollin spoke. “Maybe I should go.”

When Griffin didn’t make any move to stop her, she slipped from the bed and began to gather her clothing. But watching her naked body go through the motions of getting dressed was doing weird things to him. He loved her soft curves and her creamy white skin.