Dead Chaos (2 page)

***

I turned to walk away from the gurney, my balance all off, my mind awry.

I’d forgotten for one brief moment that I no longer needed to compensate for the weight of my wings, no longer needed that slight lean forward all Valkyries did for balance.

I steadied myself and stood straighter, breathing in and out for calm.

Aimee and I left the lab and walked to the room where we’d last seen Aidan and Joshua. They huddled over a stack of books and paperwork, alternately scanning a computer screen, then the papers. Our arrival drew their attention and Joshua rose and came straight to me.

"How are you?" he asked, his smile tender and kind. Had there been even a hint of pity in his words I would've smacked him on the head.

"I’m not dead yet," I said and he laughed, folding me into a careful hug. Over his shoulder I watched Aidan as he stared down at the books. Was he avoiding my eyes?

Joshua let go and led me to the computer.

And to Aidan.

He stood up and held out his arms. I wanted to sink into them, to forget for at least a moment, but he seemed a bit distant. Maybe he was distracted with the hustle and bustle and the research. Or maybe he didn’t handle emotional situations like this very well. I wouldn’t know really. We hadn’t spent sufficient quality time with each other over the last few months. Maybe that was it. We just needed to get to know each other better. But a tiny part of me couldn’t stop the hurt.

I let him hug me but it felt awkward, impersonal. I sensed Aimee and Joshua at my back. Aidan probably didn’t do well with public displays of affection. I smiled and tried to put my doubts out of my head. Aidan held on to my arm. "I’m so sorry, Bryn."

"It’s not your fault." I tried to reassure him, worried that he blamed himself for his father’s deeds.

"The bastard is still my father." There was a cold, hard hatred in his voice.

"He had his own agenda. It’s not as if you knew what he was up to or helped him in any way."

"It’s my fault he found you." He looked at me, his eyes dark and sad, his face all angles and strain.

"He forced you. Held your mother and sister hostage to make you do things. That’s not your fault." He nodded at me and gave a small smile, a silent thank you.

I understood, but I still felt a little hollow inside. When I looked at the computer, he took it as a cue. He drew me to his side and sat on the stool, bringing it closer to the screen. "We’ve found a stack of information. And we found out what they were trying to do."

I stiffened, looking at Joshua, who stood on the other side of Aidan, then at Aimee and Sigrun behind him. "Don’t we already know they killed hundreds of
einherjar
because of me?"

Joshua spoke sternly. "Bryn, that’s stupid. They died because Loki and Dr. Lee teamed up to find the means to destroy Odin's mighty army."

"So what’s so bloody dangerous about my blood, anyway?"

"Your blood is only a part of it. It’s ingenious really." Aidan spoke up still transfixed by the data on the screen. The admiration in his tone had us all staring at him. He remained oblivious. "Another substance seems to act as a carrier. Together, the poison is the perfect biological weapon against the
einherjar
."

"You sound impressed," I noted. The sharp stab of hurt in my heart mirrored the pain in my wings, reminding me whose father had performed the mutilation of my body. Perhaps Aidan had forgotten.

"Of course I’m impressed, Bryn—" There was an odd note of excitement in his voice, and then he looked at me and saw the expression on my face. Color drained from his face. "I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way."

"Maybe you can explain how you meant it?" Aimee asked, her voice cold and filled with contempt. I guess I wasn’t the only one unimpressed with Aidan's admiration. Nobody else said a word.

"I only meant they would've had to work long and hard to figure out how to use Bryn’s blood this way. There’s a lot of in-depth research here. They were methodical, precise. The data shows it."

"So you think it's impressive?" Aimee folded her arms.

Aidan hesitated, then lifted his chin. "Of course, I’m impressed. From a biological and chemical standpoint, the research and investigation is second to none." There was that tone of excitement again, as if the discovery meant something more to him than he was saying. "You can go ahead and judge me, but I’m not blind to what the research says."

"So what does the research say about my wings then?" I asked, holding his gaze while my heart plummeted, while the hurt part of me wanted to curl up in a corner and cry. But the furious part of me stood waiting for an answer.

"Well, in terms of studying any type of biological organism, the only way to learn about that organism is to investigate how it functions." Aidan answered, choosing his words slowly while returning his gaze to the monitor.

"Like dissecting a frog?" goaded Joshua, his voice conversational, while fury bled more emerald into his green eyes.

"Exactly." Aidan seemed oblivious to Joshua’s anger. Anger that surprised me a little. I understood Aidan’s scientifically minded opinion. Or did I?

"So dissecting Bryn’s wings is a technically and scientifically respectable method to gain an understanding of how they function?" asked Joshua, his voice almost a growl.

Anger was a palpable thing, fisted and vicious in the sterile, cold room. Joshua’s eyes flashed as he stared at Aidan, and Aimee’s cheeks flared, like twin rouge spots, a stark contrast to her pale skin. The silence twisted within the room while the computer hummed as if nothing untoward had just happened.

Joshua glanced at me, his jaw clenched so hard I was sure it would soon break. Shadows of fury made his face almost unrecognizable.

I stood within the maelstrom of silent anger, quietude within the eye of fury and hurt. I wasn’t so sure I could accept what Aidan had just said. Especially since I’d just left a room filled with the remains of my wings, where they'd taken them apart, laying bare flesh and bone for the sake of curiosity, for the sake of research..

Watching Aidan concentrate on the monitor, seemingly oblivious to how deep his words had hurt, made me feel strange. Almost sick to my stomach. Perhaps the drugs were still having an effect on me.

It took a few moments before the deathly silence penetrated Aidan’s concentration. He turned to us and frowned. "Do you guys mind? I really have to figure this out. It’s very important." There was a touch of fear mixed with that hint of burgeoning excitement I’d noticed earlier. What was going on with him?

"Really?" Joshua’s voice penetrated my thoughts with what was surely a
you have got to be joking
really, not the standard
really,
really. His eyes were cold, blank and dangerous, like a bank of dark clouds on the horizon that sends a chill up your spine.

Ominous.

"What is your problem, dude?" Aidan rounded on Joshua, irritated and distracted. A tiny part of me experienced a pull of sympathy as I wondered what type of strain this whole escapade had taken on Aidan’s health. Only a tiny part of me. The rest of me was a twisted mess of hurt, disappointment and anger. And a touch of fear. What did this mean for Aidan and me? When they’d saved me from Dr. Lee he’d defended me to his father. And he’d said that no matter what happened, I had him.

Now I wasn’t so sure I had him at all.

Joshua was right there in Aidan’s face, still and silent. Both boys—Warriors—faced off as Aidan slid off the stool, attention transferred from the monitor filled with alphabets and dancing double helixes. I squinted, curious. But too much of my attention remained on the two boys in my life; my best friend, and my boyfriend, who seemed to be slipping further away from me with every moment.

Joshua finally answered Aidan’s question, his voice low, devoid of emotion. "My problem is your attitude."

Aidan snorted. "If you have such a problem with my attitude, you may as well leave. I don’t change my attitude for anyone, least of all a kid like you."

Did he just say that? I blinked and stared at his face. His expression held an arrogance hinting at anger, pain, and a definite sense of superiority. There had always been the hint of arrogance in his bad-boy persona. But I’d never believed he’d had it in him to come right out and behave this way. Even with who his father was, I’d given him the benefit of the doubt. Sure, he had a couple years on Joshua, but did he have to say that? Or was he just backed into a corner, reacting to the pressure Joshua was putting on him?

I wanted Joshua to ease up on Aidan and I tried to get his attention, but his gaze remained focused. His eyebrows rose at the kid reference, a sneer lifting his lip. "I’m beginning to wonder if decency is a criteria at all when Asgard's Warriors are chosen." Joshua flicked an apologetic glance at me.

"Look, I don’t have time for your games, O’Connell." Aidan flicked a thumb at the monitor. "I need to figure this data out so I know just what I have to work with."

"Why are you so interested anyway?" Aimee asked. "Just take the computer back to the NY HQ and leave it with Erik. I’m sure they have enough people with the proper qualifications to figure it all out."

Aidan hesitated, then schooled his features, wiping away the hint of hope, the slight, nervous excitement in his eyes. When he spoke, his voice was controlled. "My father has a particular
way of thinking. If I can figure out what he was trying to do, we may be able to find a way to shut his entire operation down. Don’t think that just because we have him and Loki in custody things will settle down."

"We aren’t naïve, Aidan." I said.

"I never said you were." He sighed, shaking his head. "I’m sorry. I just don’t think you understand the magnitude of what this is." Again, he seemed oblivious to how his words would affect me. What was wrong with him? What the hell was going on in his head?

"Magnitude? We don’t understand
the
magnitude
?" Aimee growled. Then, the once quiet, timid girl did something so out of character my jaw dropped. She grabbed Aidan’s upper arm, gripping tightly. "Come with me, let me show you
magnitude
."

Aidan must've been as surprised as I was with Aimee's fury and her grip. He allowed her to drag him along, throwing her a couple of quizzical glances as she towed him the few doors away to the lab containing the remains of my wings.

I followed in silence, Joshua at my side. I paused at the doorway, unsure if I wanted to see it all again. Inside the room, Aimee dragged Aidan to the gurney bearing the pieces of stripped bone.

Aidan’s jaw dropped at the sight, but almost immediately, he masked his emotions and just examined the contents of the gurney without a reaction. He’d been caught off guard and I was glad to see the sight of the remains of my wings had shocked him.

"You think you understand magnitude?" Aimee asked, her voice so high and tight she almost screeched the words. "This is magnitude. Your curiosity and desire for information? That’s crap. This right here is magnitude. What your father did to the ‘test subject’ is magnitude. Oh, and as for the test subject, I’m sure you remember her. She’s the one who just happened to save your sorry ass twice. She risked her life so many times, and you have the gall to say we don’t understand the magnitude?"

Aidan goggled at Aimee, but in his eyes, I saw his reaction. He pulled that veil over his emotions, the dark and shadowy protection he’d arrived in Craven with all those months ago. Now he threw his hands up, totally on the defensive. "Whoa. I think you need to get a grip, Aimee. I wasn’t trying to say Bryn didn’t underst—"

"You had better shut the hell up before I make you the first
einherjar
in history to die." Beside me, Joshua growled the words and I flinched, hit by the wave of his unadulterated fury.

Aidan had the grace to swallow his arrogant smile. "Bryn, can you call off your dog, please? Surely you can see I’m just trying to work here." Still lashing out, still defensive. Was this the way he always dealt with conflict?

"Sure. Of course. Your work is important. Come on, guys. I think we need to head back to Asgard." If Aidan noticed the lack of emotion in my voice, he didn’t bother to show it. My gut twisted, knowing deep down that wrapped within his curious hunger for information and his dark arrogance, he was probably blind to how he was hurting me.

Aidan stopped me in my tracks with his next words. "I see what this is." He nodded as anger flashed in his eyes. "This is because he’s my father, right? Some kind of stupid transference? Take it out on the criminal's kid?"

Joshua laughed. "Typical. Feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t make you any less guilty of being an insensitive bastard."

"Aidan, does it bother you at all to look at this?" Aimee flung her hand in the direction of the feather and bone littered gurney.

"Bother me?" He frowned.

"Sure, bother you. Considering it was a part of Bryn your father chopped off." Aimee smiled pleasantly as she spoke but I knew from the set of her jaw she was livid.

Aidan glanced back at me. "Bryn, surely you know what I mean?"

"What do you mean? Please do enlighten us." I asked, my tone as neutral as I could keep it.