Confessions of a Wild Heart (27 page)

Jase’s nostrils flared.

“Put your hands behind your knees, pull them back, and show me your hole. Leave them there.” For the next part, he used that same tone he’d used to get Jase to calm himself earlier. “No. Touching.” He gave Jase a dirty grin, knowing how well Jase always responded to Ase getting bossy in the sack.

Jase’s nostrils flared again, cock bouncing on his stomach. Oh yeah, there it was. Ase dumped a puddle of lube in his hand and stroked it over his cock, then did the same and rubbed it over Jase’s exposed hole. He plunged a finger in, rolling it around, pulled it out and scooped up some of the excess lube, doing the same with two fingers. He crooked them, and Jase’s back arched from the leather sofa.

“Please, please, please.”

Ase chuckled, the sound coming from some wild place inside his chest. He felt so much, an overwhelming and primal need to be with Jase just like this. His body quaked as he pulled his fingers from inside Jase and rubbed the tip of his cock on Jase’s opening.

“Don’t move your hands,” he said, looking Jase in the eye. Jase gave a nod. “Eyes open.” Another nod.

“Please,” Jase said.

And with that, Ase did what he’d wanted to for so damn long. He lined his cock up and slowly began to sink into Jase’s body. Then his cockhead slipped past the first muscles and was gripped by hot, spasming smoothness. They both let out a loud breath, like they’d been waiting to exhale since the last time they did this. Ase came up on his feet a bit, bracketing Jase’s torso, under Jase’s arms, with his hands digging into the sofa cushions.

“Stay with me,” Jase said. Their eyes stayed semi-focused on one another, locked in an all-encompassing stare as Ase moved his hips and slowly sank inch by hot inch into the tight vise of Jase’s body. He saw Jase’s lids flicker with the need to close. He didn’t know why he was doing this. He rarely fucked someone from the front, and never with this drive to make them watch as he took them.

Jase’s mouth hung open, chin moving up and down a few times, until Ase was fully seated. When his balls touched Jase’s ass, he hunched in and rolled his hips, earning a “Ho,
oh,
shit” of pleasure from Jase.

“That’s right, make room for me,” Jase said, rolling his hips, stretching Ase’s hole. It was like staring into one another’s eyes was involuntary at this point, until it was just too fucking much. Ase moved his knees up a little so the bit of Jase’s ass that’d been hanging off the couch was partly in his lap. Being taller than Jase, longer in the torso, Ase was able to drape himself on top of Jase, chest to chest, Ase’s chin resting just below Jase’s temple.

“Fuck me, Ase,” Jase said thickly, beside Ase’s ear.

Ase hunched inward, wishing he could fit more of himself inside Jase, their bodies touching from lap to stomach to chest to cheeks. Then he used his hips to pull back a couple inches, then slowly pushed back in and kept up until he was fucking Jase in earnest. “Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck,” Jase chanted quietly in Ase’s ear.

Ase couldn’t manage more than heavy huffs of breath as he slung his hips, pistoning his cock deep into Jase’s hole. His balls and lap started making slapping sounds as they banged against Jase’s ass.

Ase pulled up just enough to touch his nose to Jase’s, licking into Jase’s open mouth, staring into those unfathomable green eyes. This. This is why they said you could become one with someone. They folded into one another so well.

Only… “You okay?” Jase was practically bent in half.

Jase squeaked, but nodded. They breathed into each other’s mouths and shared the same skin. Ase wanted to run screaming from the room, but he thought he’d die if he didn’t stay right here. What was this insanity?

“God, Jase, you’re so tight.”

“The only one,” Jase breathed. “You’re the only one ever.”

Ase paused and pushed up, missing the warmth of clinging together immediately, but stunned into inaction, though his cock was buried deep inside Jase’s hole, being milked like a pro. “I was your first?”

Jase nodded.

“Shit. Even last time. I was so rough.” He was a little horrified, thinking back. He wasn’t one to boast but he was definitely no pencil-dick. Not all of his sexual partners had wanted to bottom for him.

“It was perfect.”

Ase let out a groan, and his cock jumped inside the tight confines of Jase’s body. Jase’s head dug back into the cushion.

Ase leaned up, placing his hands on Jase’s waist, pulling Jase almost wholly into his lap. “Touch yourself,” he said. Adding almost desperately, “Touch me.” Like that, Jase let go of his legs, holding them in place by sheer force of will. One hand immediately went to his own cock, fondled his own balls, the other went to scissor around where Ase’s cock was pummeling Jase’s hole.

They both threw their heads back and moaned with abandon. Ase loved that they could shout the roof down because sex like this should not be silent. He watched as Jase stripped his own cock quickly, his body tensing bit by bit, hole clenching deliciously.

Jase, the sexy, perfect bastard, reached under himself and fondled Ase’s balls as Ase slammed his hips against Jase’s and used Jase’s waist to pull him down onto his cock. “Fuck, fuck, gonna cum,” Ase said. The clenching muscles and Jase’s ball-fondling were pushing him right off the cliff. “A
y Dios mio,
fucking hell,” he roared.

Jase stroked himself faster, and Ase reached with one hand to roll Jase’s balls clumsily. Jase yelped, bucking as his entire body thrashed and spasmed, cum spurting up onto his chest and the couch behind him. Ase folded in on himself at that, the brutal grip on Jase’s body, the sight of the man losing his fucking mind, the cum flying, the moans, and the grip on Ase’s balls. Ase dropped his mouth to Jase’s and licked in deep, swallowing the moans as he hunched his lap up, shoving his cock as deep into Jase’s gut as he could go and emptied himself.

Ase lay there, fucking stupefied for a moment, trying to even his breathing and failing for the longest time. Eventually between his cock’s softening and Jase’s body rejecting the invasion lasting any longer, his still semi-hard prick came out of Jase’s hole and plopped against Ase’s thigh.

“That was. The most. Intense. Fuck. Ever.” Jase said each word around a heavy breath, tone giddy. Then he let out a boyish laugh.

Ase leaned up to check Jase’s expression, hoping he hadn’t hurt him, or that the whole crazy thing hadn’t been some huge bout of insanity of Jase’s part. The adoration in Jase’s face, the carefree, well-fucked relaxation was a sight to behold.

“I’m still just shocked I was your first,” Ase said. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. At least the last time, when we were at my place.”

Jase chuckled and leaned up to kiss Ase. He did wince then. “Wow. I’ll feel that tomorrow.”

“Agreed,” Ase said. He didn’t know why it mattered but they’d been so insanely intimate he had to ask. “Any second thoughts?”

“About tonight? No fucking way. About you, still no way. About everything else, not second thoughts. Even if you did come to break up with me.”

Were they break-uppable? They hadn’t exactly been together, and their reunion had been bipolar, to say the least. It was hard to get lost in logistics when you were pressed naked to an erstwhile lover.

“We probably should do more talking and less fucking,” Ase said.

Jase sobered. “Agreed. But, hey. At least we got the tension out of the way, so we can start from here.” His hopeful expression was hard to crush. But Ase had to bring a little sanity to the situation.

He rolled from his safe/not-safe place between Jase’s legs and flopped on the couch beside him. “I don’t think that’s how it works.”

Jase leaned up on an elbow and looked at Ase. “Look, I know this has been… crazy. But, yeah, we’ll talk about it tomorrow. Just. Don’t regret this.” Jase stopped and studied Ase. “Even if this was closure. If that’s what this was.”

Ase covered his eyes with his arm, caught his breath before turning to look in Jase’s earnest face. “We do need to talk. It’ll depend a lot on things you need to know.”

Jase didn’t look comforted by that and said, “We’ll analyze this tomorrow. But let’s not
over
-analyze. Not tonight.”

Ase was silent a moment. “One day at a time.”

“Yes. That.” Jase’s voice croaked with sleep.

“You need to sleep,” Ase said.

“Yes. And you need to get that condom off before it sticks to you or starts leaking on your leg.”

The couch moved up and down. When Ase uncovered his tired eyes, Jase held out his hand. “Come on.”

Ase took Jase’s hand in what felt like the most natural move ever and was helped to standing. God, he hoped.

After watching Jase walk on Bambi legs, grumbling about have something called a crosstie up his ass, Ase chuckled and started picking up his clothes. He pulled the condom off with a snap and dropped it in the bin beside the kitchen door.
Hope he takes out his own trash.

A whirring sound grew closer, making Ase turn back to find Jase with an electric toothbrush in his mouth. He was holding something in one hand, but had held it back, unsure, as he looked at the clothes in Ase’s hands. “Oh, are you leaving?”

“Should I?” Ase hadn’t really considered staying, but he’d not really been readying to leave just yet.

Jase said nothing, simply held out what he had in his hand—an unopened travel toothbrush. How could Ase say no to that?

He followed Jase to the bathroom, taking in an eyeful of firm, naked ass before coming to stand beside Jase, who passed him the tube of toothpaste. They brushed their teeth side by side, then flossed, and Ase was a bit thrown by how natural the domestic moment was. Jase left the bathroom first, with a kiss to Ase’s cheek. He’d have to say this was the last way he’d expected this night to end based on their first run-in at the hospital… three months ago.

Ase finished up then made his way to the adjoining bedroom, flicking off the light. The bedroom door was closed, curtains drawn, just a reading lamp still shining on a table beside the bed. Jase held open the bedclothes, still naked, so Ase decided to forego his pants as well. He slipped in beside Jase who pressed a sweet, gentle kiss to his lips.

“This was great. No matter what comes tomorrow, okay?” Jase said, nodding as if that would make it so.

Ase leaned forward and pressed another kiss to Jase’s lips. “It was.”

When Jase turned off the lights and lay with his back to Ase, he reached around to pull Ase’s arm so Ase was wrapped around him from behind.

“This is what we call spooning in Texas.”

Ase kneed Jase’s ass lightly. “I know what it is,
pendeja
. It’s called the same thing in California.” Jase’s happy laugh, the way he burrowed back into Ase like this was how it always had been, made Ase warm to his toes. But scared and wary of what may come, come morning.

“I thought about this,” Jase said, voice groggy.

“About what?”

Jase’s head moved a bit. “I thought what it’d have been like if we’d been able to sleep together that night.”

Ase didn’t catch on at first. They’d slept together a couple times, now. Then it dawned on him Jase meant the night they were separated the first time. It hurt, the anguish in Jase’s voice. He still remembered Jase’s fierce protectiveness for an almost stranger, the way he’d looked so distraught, unable to act to help Ase. He guessed he hadn’t really thought of how shitty that night must’ve been from Jase’s point of view. Ase hugged him tight, feeling every bit the sap as he placed a kiss on Jase’s nape. “Me too,” he whispered.

But Jase was already sound asleep. And for the first time in a while, Ase had no trouble following him into slumber.

Chapter 24

OUT of his peripheral vision, Ase saw the shiny, black dually slowly drive up the way by Jase’s house. He sat up from where he’d been lying on the couch, thumbing through his phone. He slowly moved toward the bay window and watched as a guy, not much younger than he and Jase, hopped down out of the large truck and glanced back toward where Ase’s bike was parked beside Jase’s Ram.

Damn. He and Jase had been so wrapped up in each other. Jase said his brother knew about him, but Ase wondered if he still shouldn’t have moved Matilda II before they’d gone to bed. If Jase’s brother had noticed it easily, Ase had no doubt Jase’s mother had. He did not want to be a problem for Jase.

But that was all part of what they needed to talk about.

The frown marring Jase’s brother’s face was more thoughtful than unkind, before the man turned and made his way into the large ranch house up the hill. That wasn’t a bad sign, he hoped. His own brother’s face was probably contorted in rage today. Ase’s parents’ sure had been two days ago.

“You don’t have to do this, Alessandro,” his mother wailed. Ase stood, back to the door of his
mami
and
papi
’s small, adobe style home in Southeast San Diego. His car was parked on the street, unlocked. That wasn’t safe at all, not in their neighborhood. Another thing they’d held over him.

“We could have lived in better places, had much more, but we saved all this money for your schools. You think every little brown boy gets to go to private school,
mijo
?”
Of course he knew they didn’t. He was one of only five Hispanic kids in his graduating class of fifty. And Dios knows they’d reminded him every day of his life.
“Your brothers didn’t have the chances you did.”
It was true. Mateo had been born in Mexico, had been old enough his Spanish had made school difficult. His younger brother Cris had never given a shit. Ase, though, had been the golden boy with the brains and the drive to get the fuck out.

He’d always been grateful for everything they did. But this… this was it. Almost twenty-seven years old and the guilt did nothing but keep him under-thumb like he was a teenager. And Ase was tired. And worn down. He had no more energy or sacrifice to give to these people.

Ase was actually impressed with himself that his
papi
’s livid, angry scowl wasn’t making him cower as it had for years. Just like with his brother, Ase could now see the man was a bully. Ase owed the man so much, but no longer his servitude. Even if that was dramatic, it was how their relationship felt. He’d lost too much and now had things to gain by standing up and saying, “No more.”