Believing Lies (42 page)

The laugh she let out was completely self-satisfied. “Adam doesn’t owe you anything. Now run back to all of your little friends and pass along the word that he’s off the market PERMANENTLY!” She rolled her eyes at me. “Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s fucking cold out here, and he and I have plans tonight. In other words, get your skanky ass off of this porch.” She took a step back and slammed the door in my face.

I contemplated banging on the door until she let me in, so I could confront Adam face-to-face, but tears and sub-zero weather don’t mix. I barely made it back to my vehicle before my wet eyelids froze shut. I was gasping for breath as I opened my car door, dripping tears onto my lap as I started my Lexus, and heaving as I backed out of his driveway. Too emotional to safely drive, I had to pull over a block down the road.

I slammed my palms on the steering wheel repeatedly, hurting my hands with the force. How could I have been so fucking stupid? Again, and again, and again no less. My body shook with tremors.

I pulled off my right hand glove and took my phone out of my purse with shaking fingers. Although I knew this was the last person I wanted to speak with right now, I dialed. Within three rings, there was an answer.

I took a deep breath. “Mother, I want to move home. I’m on my way now.”

Chapter Thirty-Three

“I can’t believe I still have four more weeks left,” I groaned as I slouched further onto Sophie’s couch and put my feet up on the coffee table.

“Quit complaining,” Sophie playfully scolded. “You’re in the home stretch.”

“Tell that to the little girl that keeps shoving her feet into my ribs.” As if on cue, the baby rotated and kicked.

Courtney’s face looked fascinated, yet somewhat mortified. “It’s a little freaky when your stomach starts to shift around.”

“Tell me about it. It feels even freakier.” I absently began to rub my belly. “I’m just ready to get her out of me. I’m always tired. I have cankles. I look like I’m smuggling a basketball under my shirt. And worst of all, I have to pee all the time.” I was whining, but I didn’t care. At this point, I felt that I earned my right to whine.

“But soon you’ll be a mommy,” Courtney gushingly pointed out.

Sophie let out a sarcastic laugh. “That’s a scary thought. I should start a savings account now to pay for the baby’s future therapy bills.”

“Hey!” I threw a couch pillow, hitting her head.

She scowled. “You’re lucky you didn’t spill my wine, butt plug.”

“I have to push a watermelon out of me, and you’re complaining about wine. Nice.”

Sophie rolled her eyes. “I have to witness the watermelon pushing. If you ask me, I’ve got the worse end of the deal.” Courtney laughed, and it egged Sophie on. “At least you don’t have to look at my vagina, Sienna. I’m probably going to be scarred for life after I see yours up close and personal.” She jokingly shivered.

I tried to keep myself from showing her that I thought she was funny. “You don’t have to be in the delivery room. You said you wanted to, remember?”

She smiled. “You know that I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

I’d chosen to have my mother and Sophie in the delivery room . . . and also Adam. Having him there would be difficult for me. It had been months since I’d seen him. Hopefully the pain meds I get when I deliver will also numb my heart because seeing him again will surely re-break it.

“Have you spoken to Adam about the delivery?” It was as if she knew I was thinking about him at that exact moment. This wasn’t the first time either. Sophie had turned into a voodoo witch mind-reader.

“Kind of. I texted him yesterday, after my appointment, letting him know everything was normal and that she’s healthy. He knows we’ll call him when I go into labor.”

“I wish you’d tell me why you refuse to talk to him. You know you’ll see him soon. Don’t you think it’s better to see him before the baby’s born?”

“No,” I snapped, “on all accounts.”

Courtney sighed loudly. I knew she was sick of hearing Sophie and I go back and forth on the Adam subject. Hell, I was sick of it too. This was one of the main reasons I’d moved back into my parent’s house in January. Sophie was still “Team Adam” and constantly nagged me about why I wouldn’t tell her the reason I went from wanting to get back together to completely avoiding him. I was too embarrassed to admit to her that I’d been played again. That was one painful memory I would never share with anybody. I was beyond humiliated and humbled that night. Adam had me fooled into thinking I was special and that he loved me, and I had been so close to believing him all over again. But when the mystery girl slammed the door in my face that night, she hammered the final nail in the Sienna and Adam coffin.

I had endured three months of agonizing heartache before I finally hit a breaking point. I ripped out my heart, sewed it back up, and painfully shoved it back into my chest. Despite the huge Adam-sized hole in the middle that was irreparable, I think I did a fairly good patch job. I’d slowly climbed out of the depression I was in, and now I was honestly in a better place. I no longer moped about or spent most of my time sleeping and avoiding life. I started to re-emerge into the land of the living by making time for friends and family. I even started to shave again, so that I no longer had Chewbacca legs. Most importantly, I stopped listening to “Wrecking Ball” by Miley Cyrus after months of playing it loudly on repeat every time I took a shower (I’d convinced myself that crying in the shower was okay since the tears were instantly washed away.)

“Sienna, I just wish you’d let me in. I have a hard time understanding why you won’t see him, or at least speak to him, if you won’t even tell me why,” Sophie said in a soft voice, then hesitated. “Adam doesn’t know what happened either. He thought you two had made progress.”

“Nothing happened,” I lied, unable to meet her eyes. Instead, I looked at my fingernails and began picking at the polish. “I changed my mind. That’s all there is to it.”

“I don’t believe you,” she said, calling me out on my fib. “He misses you so much. I’ve never seen a guy so messed up. You told me on the phone that day that you wanted to be with him. When Conner relayed that information to Adam, he was through the roof happy. I’m talking fucking cloud nine. But before it ever happened, you did a complete one-eighty without any explanation.” She let out a long exhale. “Now you’re at your parents, and he’s living God knows where . . .”

About a week after I moved out of Sophie’s, Adam moved out of the house he shared with Conner. Conner moved in with Sophie, but no one knew where Adam lived now. All he would tell them was that it was somewhere in the Madison area.

“Save it, Sophie. I’ve heard the story enough times.” I didn’t try to hide the irritation in my voice.

“Obviously, you haven’t,” she retorted, sharply. “Just talk to him. It’s not like he hasn’t tried and tried to contact you.”

He’d called me every day, multiple times a day, during the first week I was at my parent’s. When I didn’t answer or call him back, he resorted to texting me nonstop. When I didn’t reply to any of the texts, he showed up to my parent’s house. He came to my parent’s house three times that first month. My mother answered the door the first two times and turned him away. My dad was there the third time and let him in. I hadn’t told my parents anything other than I thought it was better if we weren’t together and that I didn’t want to see him. My dad didn’t like it, but he honored my wishes. He spoke with Adam for about an hour, while I hid in my room like a coward. Adam had texted me at least twice a week ever since. Most of the texts were that he missed me or asked me to call him. Others had said he’s over me and he’ll leave me alone. Then a day or two later he would text that he’ll never be over me, and he’ll never give up on us. I re-read them over and over again, always a glutton for punishment.

“He deserves some sort of explanation,” Sophie stated matter-of-factly.

“He doesn’t deserve anything, and I’m done with this conversation. Either we get going to the movie before we miss the damn thing, or I’m going home. Your choice.”

“Drop it, Soph. Let’s not ruin the night.” Courtney said, standing up.

She sighed loudly. “Fine. Just one more thing, and then I’ll hold my peace.”

Courtney dropped back into the chair dramatically.

“Karen.”
Okay, she had my attention
. “She really wants to meet you before the baby’s born. She’s the closest thing Adam has for a mom anymore, and she doesn’t want to meet you for the first time at the hospital. I promised that I’d try to get you to agree to meet her for dinner.” She said it all really fast, in what I assumed was an effort to keep me from interrupting her.

“Just her? No Adam?” I asked skeptically.

She shook her head. “No Adam. Conner’s sister, Allie will probably come with though.”

On the day of the first ultrasound, I had promised Karen that I’d meet her. It was only fair to keep that promise. Plus, if she was going to be a part of my daughter’s life, I probably should get to know her. “Okay,” I conceded.

Sophie smiled with satisfaction. “Thank you. It will mean so much to her.”

I gave back a tentative smile.

Courtney pointed at the clock. “Can we
please
go to the movie now?”

***

After the movie, we went back to the apartment and ordered a pizza. We were in the living room, finishing our pizza, when Conner got home. He entered the room at the same time Sophie took a bite out of the last piece.

“Aww, man!” he said as he looked in the empty box and plopped down on the sofa. Sophie handed him the rest of her piece, and he smiled like she had just given him a million bucks. “Thanks, Babe,” he said to her and took a huge bite.

“You’re welcome. Sorry there’s not more. I would have gotten a second pizza if I’d known you were coming back so early. I thought you and the guys were all going to The Turning Point.”

Conner grumbled, “I thought so too, but Drake and I decided to call it a night.” He looked at me and Courtney, seemingly weighing his next words. “Adam and Zach were being douches, and their pity party got to be too much to take.”

Courtney had started dating a guy named Max a couple weeks ago. He was really good looking, with an athletic build. He was also fairly nice, though a bit on the dimwitted side. She admittedly was using him as a rebound and had even told this to him directly. Max may have been let in on the whole rebound, short-term idea, but Zach clearly had not been. From what Conner told us, Zach was jealous—big time. Why he wouldn’t just man-up and date her was beyond me. He was a classic case of a commitment phobic. The old saying goes: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Well, Courtney cut off the milk supply in December, and Zach was still dragging his feet about whether or not he was ready to buy the cow yet.
Hold the phone. Am I really comparing dating Courtney to buying a cow? Old saying or not, someone should come up with a better analogy
.

Courtney scoffed. “If you’re insinuating that Sienna and I are the cause of their moping, then all I can say is good.” Conner’s shoulders slumped. “Zach has plenty of other little fuck buddies to keep him busy. If he wants a relationship, he knows where to find me.”

Conner looked at me, “Are you going to throw in your two cents?”

“Leave me out of this, and I’ll give you a dollar.”

He chuckled. “I see you’re still being evasive.”

“Yep, and you and Sophie are still being persistent,” I retorted.

Chapter Thirty-Four

Thank the Lord that Sophie and my mother cared so much about fashion and shopping. Between the two of them, they’d stocked my closet with comfortable, yet very fashionable and flattering, maternity clothing. I may have felt like a beached whale, but I had to admit that I looked pretty nice in the pale pink, short-sleeved sweater dress and dark gray leggings I had on today. The dress was form fitting in all of the right places, so that I still looked fairly thin. Well, everywhere except my large belly. I threw on a pair of black ballet flats, gray and black bracelets, and my diamond stud earrings from Christmas. I went to the bathroom and curled my hair and applied my makeup. This was the prettiest I’d felt in months.

I walked downstairs and found my mom in the sitting room, reading a book. She looked up and smiled as I walked in. Over these months, my relationship with her had really taken a turn in the right direction. She was starting to accept me for who I was, instead of who she thought I should be.

“You look lovely today, Sienna. Are you sure you don’t want me to come along?”

I sat in the chair next to her. “I appreciate the offer, but Sophie will be with me.”

Only two days after agreeing to meet Conner’s mother and sister, Sophie had it all arranged. I had about forty minutes before I was supposed to be at the restaurant. I started to pick my nails absently. I couldn’t figure out why I was so nervous.

“Don’t pick your fingernails, Sienna. It’s unbecoming.” I rolled my eyes. “So is rolling your eyes,” Mother added.

I glanced at the clock on the mantle. “I’m just a little nervous.”

“You don’t need to be nervous. They’ll love you.”

“They don’t need to love me, Mother. Today is just about meeting them, so that we are acquainted for the baby’s sake.”

“If you say so,” she said as she brought her eyes back to her book. There was a small smile on her lips.

***

It was quarter after seven when I walked into the restaurant. There had been a traffic jam on the way over, so I was late.
Way to make a great first impression, Sienna
. The hostess led me to the table where they were already seated. Sophie was facing me, and the huge smile on her face when she noticed me approaching her, eased my nerves. Karen and Allie were sitting across from her with their backs to me. I was able to easily distinguish who was who by their hair. Both had sandy blond hair. Karen’s was wavy and shoulder length, while Allie’s was longer, pin straight, and streaked with a few bright pink strands.

I walked to the table, pulled out the chair next to Sophie, and took off my jacket. Too flustered to make eye contact, I started to apologize for my tardiness, explaining the traffic jam as I draped my jacket and purse on the back of my chair and sat down.