Be My Guest (23 page)

The anger erupted. "Dammit, why?"

"I want to have my own source of income, but
it's more than that. I've dreamed for years of owning my own
business. I don't want to depend on anyone for my livelihood. I
want to contribute my share. I need to do feel that I'm doing
that."

He shook his head, unable to comprehend how
a proposal could deteriorate into this discussion. "Keeping a house
and raising children is a big contribution. What could be more
important than that?"

She took a deep breath, willing herself to
remain calm. "When I was five, my Uncle John deserted my Aunt Fay.
She said she didn't suspect a thing. Because she suspected nothing,
thought their life together perfect, she found herself with
nothing. He ran away with all the funds from their checking and
savings accounts. Aunt Fay got the stack of bills he left behind,
no money, and two children."

"What does that have to do with us?" He
interrupted, impatience resonating in his voice.

"Just give me a chance to finish, please. By
that time my grandparents lived in a condominium, so Aunt Fay and
my two cousins moved in with my family."

The memory of her Aunt Fay crying in
desolation haunted Aurora. She heard her aunt repeating over and
over to her, "Never let yourself be dependent on a man. Always have
your own income or you'll never be safe. I thought I had a perfect
marriage and you see what’s happened to me now."

Aurora tried to explain to Will. "Aunt Fay
had to live with us two years while she went back to college to
finish her degree and get a job. This meant my parents dealt with
three extra mouths to feed, and a house intended for five housed
eight instead. We were so crowded."

She shared her bedroom with her Aunt Fay and
one of the cousins. Even though she loved and sympathized with her
Aunt Fay, she had hated sharing her room. "I vowed that would never
happen to me. I intended always to have my own income, always be
secure on my own without depending on anyone else."

Anger and pain in his eyes caused her to
hurry to explain further. "Oh, Will, it's much more than that. I've
planned this for years. I've saved and scrimped and worked long
hours so I could one day own my own business. It's been a dream as
long as I can remember."

Will's expression showed his lack of
comprehension. "I'm not like this uncle of yours. I have money in
the bank and I don't intend to go anywhere unless I take you with
me. You can feel secure with me. There's no need for you to own a
business to find that security."

She knew his patience wore thin. His anger
and hurt seemed to have closed his ears and heart to her pleas for
understanding. "Will, I'm determined to have my own business. It's
a dream I've had too long to be ignored. It's like you raising
cutting horses with Raul. You didn't need that extra income. It
satisfied a dream the two of you had for a long time. And this is
something I worked toward for a long time. It's not an insult to
your ability or integrity. Can't you see that?"

"No. I can't. I can only see that you have
no faith in me. If you can't trust me, then there's no future for
us."

"It's not a matter of trust." She placed her
hands on his arms, but he shrugged them off.

"Like hell! No wife of mine needs to work."
Will stood and reached for his cane.

Aurora stood, her back very straight. Would
he not even try to understand her needs? "There's no need to be
rude. Can't you understand I need this. Don't make me choose
between you and a business. I can't let myself be totally dependent
on anyone. I'll never let that happen to myself. Too many times
I've seen what happens to women when they allow that to
happen."

"I hope I'll see you at the party on Friday.
In the meantime, I'll give you all the time you need to consider
whatever you have to." Will turned and sadly walked away.

Aurora sank back to the swing and put her
head in her hands. She heard Will start the truck engine and drive
away. Had she just made the worst mistake of her life? What was
wrong with her? Oh, I know I love Will, she told herself. Why can't
I trust him enough to admit he's the center of my life? Why
couldn't I trust myself and him enough to tell him so? He said he
had room in his heart for me, too.

Maybe I'm wrong to want both the shop and
Will. Maybe that old saying is right, maybe I can't have it all. I
had to try, though.

She reclined along the seat of the swing,
deep in thought with her heart breaking. With tears streaming down
her face she could hardly go in and face Rose. What else could she
have said to make Will understand? What could she do to make him
see her point of view? Did he doubt her ability to be both
businesswoman and wife? Difficult though the two might be, many
women managed. Her own mother managed both jobs. Had he no faith in
her?

In her heart she knew she did not want to go
to Colorado now unless Will came with her. The new life she had
sought elsewhere she had found here in this little West Texas town.
If she bought the shop from Peggy, she knew she would love owning
it.

This community contained everything she
needed to be happy. Surely she had a right to her dreams. I want to
have my own business, be a part of the community, marry Will, and
take care of Kelly and several other children.

But, she just could not bear to see Will and
not be able to be with him or, worse, to watch him with someone
else. Yet, she vowed not to end up like Aunt Fay. She put her head
in her hands and sobbed again. What am I going to do? Oh, Lord,
what am I going to do?

* * *

Raul wiped his forehead with his bandanna.
"I think I might like to kill this boy who fed moldy hay to these
horses. As if losing ten head of cattle to rustlers this week is
not enough, now we have to play vet to horses. He should have been
the one to lose his sleep and work with sick horses for three
days."

Will patted neck of the horse in the stall
beside him. "No wonder the kid quit without notice. I don't
understand how he failed to see the mold. Must have a water leak in
the barn somewhere." The crisis passed, but neither man had more
than a few hours sleep at any one time for the past few days.

"Sí, the hay all was cut at the same time.
We moved it ourselves, did we not? We must find the leak in the
storage area." He sank wearily to sit with his back against the
stall partition. "So, tell me how things go with Aurora. Kelly
seemed very happy with your picnic and trail ride on Sunday. From
the way you've snapped at everyone all week, I think more is on
your mind than horses. Maybe things are not so good with your
woman."

"Not good is an understatement. And I’m not
so sure she’s even my woman." Will sighed and turned away. "We
fought over her buying that damn store. Hell, I wish she’d just
marry me and forget the damn store."

Raul's head came up and he gazed at his
friend with surprise. "But she has made this store a good place.
She must be very proud and you must be proud for her. I think many
people go there now who used to go to Lubbock or Snyder,
verdad?"

Frustration and hurt were in Will's voice as
he threw a handful of straw at the wall. "Yeah, so what? Why can't
she just be my wife? Hell, why does she think she has to be some
whiz of a businesswoman?"

Raul spoke with without his usual humor,
"She is not Nancy, my friend. You cannot make her over." He
shrugged. "She is who she is." His easy-going nature usually
appeased his friend, but not this time.

"But why does she have to work. My wife
doesn't need to work. I can support her." He reached over for his
cane and busied himself inspecting the handle.

"And if I felt this way, then who would
clean your house and care for Kelly?"

The blunt statement sent shock waves through
Will. "Damn, I never thought about Lily. Since we’re friends and
she just goes between our houses, it doesn't seem the same as
working in town." He turned to his friend. "That sounds pretty
insensitive. How do you feel about Lily working for me?"

"Well, I never wanted her to work. When she
started helping at your house, we thought this would last just a
little while, so I didn't mind so much. By the time we knew it
would be for a longer time, I suppose the idea grew on me and it no
longer mattered."

He gave another philosophical shrug of his
shoulders. "It seemed to make her happy to have this thing for
herself."

Will grinned, "And it gives her more people
to order around."

Raul answered with his own smile, "Sí, and
to never interfere with."

Will's grin faded, "I really made a mess of
it, Raul. The first time I proposed, of all the dumb things, I
talked about Nancy. I only intended to reassure Aurora that my
heart had ample room for both her and Nancy, but it backfired. Then
Sunday while Kelly was with you and your family, we argued over her
owning her business."

Raul was silent for a few moments, as if in
deep in thought. "Listen, my old friend, I will give you one piece
of advice." He hesitated, then spoke frankly. "I think you must
decide for yourself if it is better to have this woman and share
her with her business than be without her. She is a smart woman,
this Aurora, and very beautiful. I have seen the way you look at
her and the way she looks at you. A woman like this one will not
come again soon to this place--maybe never again."

Unlike his wife, Raul never offered advice,
even when asked. That he commented now convinced Will that Raul
definitely thought him wrong. It was difficult to admit, but will
knew his friend had his best interest at heart and spoke the
truth.

"You're right. I guess that's why I've been
in such a foul mood. Knowing I was wrong made it tough to face
myself all week." He tapped his cane on his boot and then stood up.
"Tomorrow at the party I'll swallow my pride and tell her I’ll take
her on any terms." He glanced at his watch, and grimaced.
"Actually, it's been tomorrow for quite awhile."

Raul stood and brushed off his jeans. "Then
it is your birthday. Let us leave these horses now and finally go
to our beds, birthday boy."

* * *

Aurora worried over her decision for days
after her quarrel with Will. To make matters worse, neither Will
nor Kelly had even called her. What else do you expect, she asked
herself. She never expected to be so abruptly shut out of their
life. Will told her he would give her time to consider, and
apparently he meant it.

Had Will told Kelly not to call, or could
Kelly be mad at her too? Over the weeks she had grown very fond of
Kelly. Since school recessed for the summer, Kelly and Lily and
Catrina came to town sometimes for lunch or a movie with Aurora.
Occasionally, Lori Beth brought Kelly by and the three of them went
somewhere together after work. Sometimes Rose accompanied them. A
couple of times the four went to Lubbock to take Vivian to a movie.
Aurora hadn't realized how much she had come to count on her
contact with Kelly and her family to brighten her days, how much a
part of her they had become.

To make her distress even worse, on Thursday
Aurora learned that a woman on her way from the nearby town of Gail
to Post had disappeared. A sheriff's deputy found the woman's car
abandoned beside the road on Thursday morning. As soon as she heard
the news, she knew the woman was a victim of the same two men who
tried to abduct her.

On Thursday afternoon, Sheriff Beau Hodges
came by to talk to her. He also was certain the same men were
responsible and wanted to see if Aurora could remember anything
else about the two. Once again Aurora recounted each detail of her
encounter. Although her details were few, a frustrated Sheriff
Hodges recorded all of her comments. Before he left, he assured her
he would find the two men and the woman. Aurora prayed the woman
would be alive when he found her.

By Thursday evening Aurora was so distraught
that she kept losing track of Rose's conversation at dinner. When
the two of them dined alone, they took their meals in the cheerful
breakfast nook of the kitchen. On this evening the brightly
decorated room did nothing to lift Aurora's drooping spirits. Even
Rose's cheerful chatter did nothing to cheer her.

"I went to see Peggy this afternoon and she
is very pleased with the reports she's heard of the store. Oh, and
the activity director at the nursing home is so pleased with the
donation of the old greeting cards you took by last week. Peggy
especially asked me to tell you that she wished she had thought of
that years ago."

Aurora stared at her plate. "That's nice,
Rose."

Ignoring the lack of response, Rose forged
ahead. "She said Mattie comes to see her almost every evening.
Mattie's made you something of a heroine now, by the way."

Aurora played with her fork, turning it
about as if she had never held one before.

Undaunted, Rose continued, "Peggy mentioned
also that she appreciates the way you've dropped by the nursing
home on your way back from the bank many days to fill her in on the
store."

"That's nice." Aurora lay her fork on her
plate to trace an invisible pattern on the table with her
finger.

"You know, I think Peggy wants to give up
the shop, now that she sees it can function very well without her.
She enjoying her convalescence, don't you think? If you're
interested, I believe she'd be willing to sell to you."

Aurora's finger fiddled with the tablecloth
beside her half-finished plate of food. "That's good."

Rose threw her napkin onto the table and
raised her voice slightly as she stood up. "Aurora, you haven't
heard three words I've said all evening. What's wrong?"

Startled at the change in Rose's tone,
Aurora jumped. She was about to burst into tears. "Oh, Rose, I'm so
confused. I don't know what to do."